I Do Not Understand My Neighbor

[jmcquown[_2_]]

This is not OT. She's the former slave of Schwartzie & Fedders.

She cat sits. Now, without really getting into a debate about
indoor-only vs. indoor-outdoor cats, I have to ask this question:

If you're cat-sitting and the owner tells you specifically NOT to let
the cat outside, wouldn't you adhere to their wishes?

This is the second time in about 6 months I've found cats in my back
yard that really upset Buffy. She does not like interlopers.

The first time this happened there was a long-haired black & white
tuxedo cat (Blackie) that came wandering over from the direction of my
neighbor's house. Buffy freaked. I mentioned the cat to the neighbor.
Oh, she was cat-sitting and it seemed like he wanted to go out.
Blackie was 18 years old and in an unfamiliar neighborhood. (I have no
idea why she brought the cat to her home rather than caring for it in
his home.)

This afternoon there was a huge orange tabby which came wandering over
from her house. I knew immediately... but I called her, all innocent:
have you seen a really large orange tabby out back? "Oh, that's Blaze.
I'm cat-sitting."

She specifically told me the owner does NOT want him going outside. She
claims he escaped the first day and she feared she lost him. (I have NO
idea why she is not taking care of these cats in their own homes.) She
found him but said, "He likes it! outside!" So she let him out when she
was on the patio. "I told him to say where I could see him." Oh sure,
he'll obey you. WTH?

All I could think was Blaze's owner told you NOT to let him out. It's
not your decision. He's not your cat!

Any thoughts?

(I don't plan on letting her cat-sit for Buffy should I ever need it.)

Jill

[MaryL[_2_]]

On 6/21/2016 9:11 PM, jmcquown wrote:
> This is not OT. She's the former slave of Schwartzie & Fedders.
>
> She cat sits. Now, without really getting into a debate about
> indoor-only vs. indoor-outdoor cats, I have to ask this question:
>
> If you're cat-sitting and the owner tells you specifically NOT to let
> the cat outside, wouldn't you adhere to their wishes?
>
> This is the second time in about 6 months I've found cats in my back
> yard that really upset Buffy. She does not like interlopers.
>
> The first time this happened there was a long-haired black & white
> tuxedo cat (Blackie) that came wandering over from the direction of my
> neighbor's house. Buffy freaked. I mentioned the cat to the neighbor.
> Oh, she was cat-sitting and it seemed like he wanted to go out. Blackie
> was 18 years old and in an unfamiliar neighborhood. (I have no idea why
> she brought the cat to her home rather than caring for it in his home.)
>
> This afternoon there was a huge orange tabby which came wandering over
> from her house. I knew immediately... but I called her, all innocent:
> have you seen a really large orange tabby out back? "Oh, that's Blaze.
> I'm cat-sitting."
>
> She specifically told me the owner does NOT want him going outside. She
> claims he escaped the first day and she feared she lost him. (I have NO
> idea why she is not taking care of these cats in their own homes.) She
> found him but said, "He likes it! outside!" So she let him out when she
> was on the patio. "I told him to say where I could see him." Oh sure,
> he'll obey you. WTH?
>
> All I could think was Blaze's owner told you NOT to let him out. It's
> not your decision. He's not your cat!
>
> Any thoughts?
>
> (I don't plan on letting her cat-sit for Buffy should I ever need it.)
>
> Jill

This woman should not have any contact with anyone else's cat. It's too
bad you don't know who the owners are, but it sounds like there are
several. I would actually suggest that you let them know what is going
on if you were familiar with them. The "pet-sitter" (I use that term
loosely, under the circumstances) sounds like a control freak, and she
is placing those cats in jeopardy. Her actions are unkind to Buffy, and
she is also taking a chance that one of the cats will run away and never
be found. Worse, one of them could be killed while in her "care." She
is also lazy because the best thing for the cats would be to take care
of them in their own home(s).

MaryL

[Bastette]

MaryL wrote:

> On 6/21/2016 9:11 PM, jmcquown wrote:
>> This is not OT. She's the former slave of Schwartzie & Fedders.
>>
>> She cat sits. Now, without really getting into a debate about
>> indoor-only vs. indoor-outdoor cats, I have to ask this question:
>>
>> If you're cat-sitting and the owner tells you specifically NOT to let
>> the cat outside, wouldn't you adhere to their wishes?
>>
>> This is the second time in about 6 months I've found cats in my back
>> yard that really upset Buffy. She does not like interlopers.
>>
>> The first time this happened there was a long-haired black & white
>> tuxedo cat (Blackie) that came wandering over from the direction of my
>> neighbor's house. Buffy freaked. I mentioned the cat to the neighbor.
>> Oh, she was cat-sitting and it seemed like he wanted to go out. Blackie
>> was 18 years old and in an unfamiliar neighborhood. (I have no idea why
>> she brought the cat to her home rather than caring for it in his home.)
>>
>> This afternoon there was a huge orange tabby which came wandering over
>> from her house. I knew immediately... but I called her, all innocent:
>> have you seen a really large orange tabby out back? "Oh, that's Blaze.
>> I'm cat-sitting."
>>
>> She specifically told me the owner does NOT want him going outside. She
>> claims he escaped the first day and she feared she lost him. (I have NO
>> idea why she is not taking care of these cats in their own homes.) She
>> found him but said, "He likes it! outside!" So she let him out when she
>> was on the patio. "I told him to say where I could see him." Oh sure,
>> he'll obey you. WTH?
>>
>> All I could think was Blaze's owner told you NOT to let him out. It's
>> not your decision. He's not your cat!
>>
>> Any thoughts?
>>
>> (I don't plan on letting her cat-sit for Buffy should I ever need it.)
>>
>> Jill

> This woman should not have any contact with anyone else's cat. It's too
> bad you don't know who the owners are, but it sounds like there are
> several. I would actually suggest that you let them know what is going
> on if you were familiar with them. The "pet-sitter" (I use that term
> loosely, under the circumstances) sounds like a control freak, and she
> is placing those cats in jeopardy. Her actions are unkind to Buffy, and
> she is also taking a chance that one of the cats will run away and never
> be found. Worse, one of them could be killed while in her "care." She
> is also lazy because the best thing for the cats would be to take care
> of them in their own home(s).

I definitely agree that it's unconscionable to let someone else's cats
out, especially when they've explicitly told her not to. She's a disgrace
to catsitting! If one of the cats is killed or goes missing because she
let them out, how will she explain that to their human when they come to
get their cat?

I wouldn't be too quick to judge her for having people bring their cats
to her, though. We don't know her circumstances. If she has an environment
that's acceptable to cats, that wouldn't be so terrible. I do realize that
a cat would prefer to be in their own territory, but maybe she can't go
to their homes for some reason? This is aside from her letting the cats go
outside.

Jill, if you can, try to get pictures of her "charges" so that you can
show that she is letting them outside. Then I would try to alert people
in your complex that this is going on. I'd hate for someone to lose a
beloved pet because of this person's incompetence.

Isn't she the same person who would go away and not leave enough food
for you to feed her cat(s)? And then ask you to go into town to buy more?

--
Joyce

I want freedom, the right to self expression, everyone's right to
beautiful radiant things. -- Emma Goldman

[Jeßus[_6_]]

On Tue, 21 Jun 2016 22:11:12 -0400, jmcquown >
wrote:

>This is not OT. She's the former slave of Schwartzie & Fedders.
>
>She cat sits. Now, without really getting into a debate about
>indoor-only vs. indoor-outdoor cats, I have to ask this question:
>
>If you're cat-sitting and the owner tells you specifically NOT to let
>the cat outside, wouldn't you adhere to their wishes?
>
>This is the second time in about 6 months I've found cats in my back
>yard that really upset Buffy. She does not like interlopers.
>
>The first time this happened there was a long-haired black & white
>tuxedo cat (Blackie) that came wandering over from the direction of my
>neighbor's house. Buffy freaked. I mentioned the cat to the neighbor.
> Oh, she was cat-sitting and it seemed like he wanted to go out.
>Blackie was 18 years old and in an unfamiliar neighborhood. (I have no
>idea why she brought the cat to her home rather than caring for it in
>his home.)
>
>This afternoon there was a huge orange tabby which came wandering over
>from her house. I knew immediately... but I called her, all innocent:
>have you seen a really large orange tabby out back? "Oh, that's Blaze.
> I'm cat-sitting."
>
>She specifically told me the owner does NOT want him going outside. She
>claims he escaped the first day and she feared she lost him. (I have NO
>idea why she is not taking care of these cats in their own homes.) She
>found him but said, "He likes it! outside!" So she let him out when she
>was on the patio. "I told him to say where I could see him." Oh sure,
>he'll obey you. WTH?
>
>All I could think was Blaze's owner told you NOT to let him out. It's
>not your decision. He's not your cat!
>
>Any thoughts?

Not much to add other than she is irresponsible and rather stupid.
It's only a matter of time before a cat goes missing. I would be
extremely ****ed if somebody I trusted to take care of my girls did
that to them.

>(I don't plan on letting her cat-sit for Buffy should I ever need it.)

I don't doubt that for a minute!

[jmcquown[_2_]]

On 6/22/2016 4:03 PM, Bastette wrote:
> MaryL wrote:
>
> > On 6/21/2016 9:11 PM, jmcquown wrote:
> >> This is not OT. She's the former slave of Schwartzie & Fedders.
> >>
> >> If you're cat-sitting and the owner tells you specifically NOT to let
> >> the cat outside, wouldn't you adhere to their wishes?
> >>
> >> All I could think was Blaze's owner told you NOT to let him out. It's
> >> not your decision. He's not your cat!
> >>
> >> Any thoughts?
> >>
> >> (I don't plan on letting her cat-sit for Buffy should I ever need it.)
> >>
> >> Jill
>
> > This woman should not have any contact with anyone else's cat. It's too
> > bad you don't know who the owners are, but it sounds like there are
> > several. I would actually suggest that you let them know what is going
> > on if you were familiar with them. The "pet-sitter" (I use that term
> > loosely, under the circumstances) sounds like a control freak, and she
> > is placing those cats in jeopardy. Her actions are unkind to Buffy, and
> > she is also taking a chance that one of the cats will run away and never
> > be found. Worse, one of them could be killed while in her "care." She
> > is also lazy because the best thing for the cats would be to take care
> > of them in their own home(s).
>
> I definitely agree that it's unconscionable to let someone else's cats
> out, especially when they've explicitly told her not to. She's a disgrace
> to catsitting! If one of the cats is killed or goes missing because she
> let them out, how will she explain that to their human when they come to
> get their cat?
>
> I wouldn't be too quick to judge her for having people bring their cats
> to her, though. We don't know her circumstances. If she has an environment
> that's acceptable to cats, that wouldn't be so terrible. I do realize that
> a cat would prefer to be in their own territory, but maybe she can't go
> to their homes for some reason? This is aside from her letting the cats go
> outside.
>
I have no idea why she couldn't do this in their own homes. She's not
in any way disabled. She's always out in her yard raking, sweeping,
blowing leaves off the driveway. She drives.

> Jill, if you can, try to get pictures of her "charges" so that you can
> show that she is letting them outside. Then I would try to alert people
> in your complex that this is going on. I'd hate for someone to lose a
> beloved pet because of this person's incompetence.
>
I tried to get a pic of Blaze last night but Buffy was yowling and by
the time I grabbed the camera he'd wandered back to her place.

> Isn't she the same person who would go away and not leave enough food
> for you to feed her cat(s)? And then ask you to go into town to buy more?
>
Yes, I took care of her cats (in HER home) and I'd often find she was
short of cat food. She didn't ask me to buy more, I *had* to buy more
so they'd have enough. I'd leave her a note saying I had to buy more
food. She didn't offer to reimburse me so I stopped cat sitting.

Jill

[Bastette]

jmcquown wrote:

> On 6/22/2016 4:03 PM, Bastette wrote:

>> Isn't she the same person who would go away and not leave enough food
>> for you to feed her cat(s)? And then ask you to go into town to buy more?
>>
> Yes, I took care of her cats (in HER home) and I'd often find she was
> short of cat food. She didn't ask me to buy more, I *had* to buy more
> so they'd have enough. I'd leave her a note saying I had to buy more
> food. She didn't offer to reimburse me so I stopped cat sitting.

Sounds like she's looking out for number 1, and doesn't care much about
anyone else, including other people's cats.

--
Joyce

Hi, this is the Sylvia stress reduction hotline. At the sound of
the beep, repeat after me: "This week, let someone else strive for
excellence." -- Nicole Hollander

[jmcquown[_2_]]

On 6/21/2016 10:11 PM, jmcquown wrote:
>
> All I could think was Blaze's owner told you NOT to let him out. It's
> not your decision. He's not your cat!
>
> Any thoughts?
>
> (I don't plan on letting her cat-sit for Buffy should I ever need it.)
>
> Jill

Guess who knocked on my door this morning asking if I'd seen Blaze?

Yep, she let the cat out while she was doing some weeding by one of her
patios. She went inside for a minute and when she went back outside he
was gone. (Imagine that! A cat wandering off!)

Sorry, I haven't seen him. I'd have known if Buffy saw him. LOL

Fortunately, she called me about 30 minutes later to tell me he'd come back.

One of these days she's going to pull this trick with a cat that will
*not* find its' way back. Good luck explaining that to the person who
trusted her with their beloved cat.

Jill

[Jeßus[_6_]]

On Thu, 23 Jun 2016 16:07:32 -0400, jmcquown >
wrote:

>On 6/21/2016 10:11 PM, jmcquown wrote:
>>
>> All I could think was Blaze's owner told you NOT to let him out. It's
>> not your decision. He's not your cat!
>>
>> Any thoughts?
>>
>> (I don't plan on letting her cat-sit for Buffy should I ever need it.)
>>
>> Jill
>
>Guess who knocked on my door this morning asking if I'd seen Blaze?
>
>Yep, she let the cat out while she was doing some weeding by one of her
>patios. She went inside for a minute and when she went back outside he
>was gone. (Imagine that! A cat wandering off!)
>
>Sorry, I haven't seen him. I'd have known if Buffy saw him. LOL
>
>Fortunately, she called me about 30 minutes later to tell me he'd come back.
>
>One of these days she's going to pull this trick with a cat that will
>*not* find its' way back. Good luck explaining that to the person who
>trusted her with their beloved cat.

It's an awkward situation, what with her being your neighbour.
I don't think I could help but warn any people I knew that were
trusting her to take care of their furballs.

[jmcquown[_2_]]

On 6/23/2016 5:21 PM, Je�us wrote:
> On Thu, 23 Jun 2016 16:07:32 -0400, jmcquown >
> wrote:
>
>> On 6/21/2016 10:11 PM, jmcquown wrote:
>>>
>>> All I could think was Blaze's owner told you NOT to let him out. It's
>>> not your decision. He's not your cat!
>>>
>>> Any thoughts?
>>>
>>> (I don't plan on letting her cat-sit for Buffy should I ever need it.)
>>>
>>> Jill
>>
>> Guess who knocked on my door this morning asking if I'd seen Blaze?
>>
>> Yep, she let the cat out while she was doing some weeding by one of her
>> patios. She went inside for a minute and when she went back outside he
>> was gone. (Imagine that! A cat wandering off!)
>>
>> Sorry, I haven't seen him. I'd have known if Buffy saw him. LOL
>>
>> Fortunately, she called me about 30 minutes later to tell me he'd come back.
>>
>> One of these days she's going to pull this trick with a cat that will
>> *not* find its' way back. Good luck explaining that to the person who
>> trusted her with their beloved cat.
>
> It's an awkward situation, what with her being your neighbour.
> I don't think I could help but warn any people I knew that were
> trusting her to take care of their furballs.
>
I've thought about that. I don't know who her "clients" are. No idea
who is owned by Blaze.

And then there is the fact I don't want to alienate her. She's a ditz,
obviously, or determined to be convinced all cats are outdoor cats.

But she's been a wonderful neighbor. I don't want to alienate her.

Jill

[Jeßus[_6_]]

On Thu, 23 Jun 2016 17:48:01 -0400, jmcquown >
wrote:

>On 6/23/2016 5:21 PM, Je?us wrote:
>> On Thu, 23 Jun 2016 16:07:32 -0400, jmcquown >
>> wrote:
>>
>>> On 6/21/2016 10:11 PM, jmcquown wrote:
>>>>
>>>> All I could think was Blaze's owner told you NOT to let him out. It's
>>>> not your decision. He's not your cat!
>>>>
>>>> Any thoughts?
>>>>
>>>> (I don't plan on letting her cat-sit for Buffy should I ever need it.)
>>>>
>>>> Jill
>>>
>>> Guess who knocked on my door this morning asking if I'd seen Blaze?
>>>
>>> Yep, she let the cat out while she was doing some weeding by one of her
>>> patios. She went inside for a minute and when she went back outside he
>>> was gone. (Imagine that! A cat wandering off!)
>>>
>>> Sorry, I haven't seen him. I'd have known if Buffy saw him. LOL
>>>
>>> Fortunately, she called me about 30 minutes later to tell me he'd come back.
>>>
>>> One of these days she's going to pull this trick with a cat that will
>>> *not* find its' way back. Good luck explaining that to the person who
>>> trusted her with their beloved cat.
>>
>> It's an awkward situation, what with her being your neighbour.
>> I don't think I could help but warn any people I knew that were
>> trusting her to take care of their furballs.
>>
>I've thought about that. I don't know who her "clients" are. No idea
>who is owned by Blaze.
>
>And then there is the fact I don't want to alienate her. She's a ditz,
>obviously, or determined to be convinced all cats are outdoor cats.
>
>But she's been a wonderful neighbor. I don't want to alienate her.

Fair enough too.

[Bastette]

jmcquown wrote:

> On 6/23/2016 5:21 PM, Je?us wrote:
>> On Thu, 23 Jun 2016 16:07:32 -0400, jmcquown >
>> wrote:
>>
>>> On 6/21/2016 10:11 PM, jmcquown wrote:
>>>>
>>>> All I could think was Blaze's owner told you NOT to let him out. It's
>>>> not your decision. He's not your cat!
>>>>
>>>> Any thoughts?
>>>>
>>>> (I don't plan on letting her cat-sit for Buffy should I ever need it.)
>>>>
>>>> Jill
>>>
>>> Guess who knocked on my door this morning asking if I'd seen Blaze?
>>>
>>> Yep, she let the cat out while she was doing some weeding by one of her
>>> patios. She went inside for a minute and when she went back outside he
>>> was gone. (Imagine that! A cat wandering off!)
>>>
>>> Sorry, I haven't seen him. I'd have known if Buffy saw him. LOL
>>>
>>> Fortunately, she called me about 30 minutes later to tell me he'd come back.
>>>
>>> One of these days she's going to pull this trick with a cat that will
>>> *not* find its' way back. Good luck explaining that to the person who
>>> trusted her with their beloved cat.
>>
>> It's an awkward situation, what with her being your neighbour.
>> I don't think I could help but warn any people I knew that were
>> trusting her to take care of their furballs.
>>
> I've thought about that. I don't know who her "clients" are. No idea
> who is owned by Blaze.

> And then there is the fact I don't want to alienate her. She's a ditz,
> obviously, or determined to be convinced all cats are outdoor cats.

> But she's been a wonderful neighbor. I don't want to alienate her.

Have you talked to her about it at all? Voiced your concerns? It wouldn't
have to be expressed as a criticism of her. You could frame it like, "I'm
concerned that you will be liable, have you considered what would happen
if someone's cat died because you let them outside when they asked you
not to?" So what I'm suggesting is that you approach her like you're on
her side and you're concerned that she's leaving herself open to big
trouble. That might motivate her to stop letting them out, without feeling
alienated.

--
Joyce

What I look forward to, is continued immaturity, followed by death.
-- Dave Barry

[MaryL[_2_]]

On 6/24/2016 3:32 PM, Bastette wrote:
> jmcquown wrote:
>
> > On 6/23/2016 5:21 PM, Je?us wrote:
> >> On Thu, 23 Jun 2016 16:07:32 -0400, jmcquown >
> >> wrote:
> >>
> >>> On 6/21/2016 10:11 PM, jmcquown wrote:
> >>>>
> >>>> All I could think was Blaze's owner told you NOT to let him out. It's
> >>>> not your decision. He's not your cat!
> >>>>
> >>>> Any thoughts?
> >>>>
> >>>> (I don't plan on letting her cat-sit for Buffy should I ever need it.)
> >>>>
> >>>> Jill
> >>>
> >>> Guess who knocked on my door this morning asking if I'd seen Blaze?
> >>>
> >>> Yep, she let the cat out while she was doing some weeding by one of her
> >>> patios. She went inside for a minute and when she went back outside he
> >>> was gone. (Imagine that! A cat wandering off!)
> >>>
> >>> Sorry, I haven't seen him. I'd have known if Buffy saw him. LOL
> >>>
> >>> Fortunately, she called me about 30 minutes later to tell me he'd come back.
> >>>
> >>> One of these days she's going to pull this trick with a cat that will
> >>> *not* find its' way back. Good luck explaining that to the person who
> >>> trusted her with their beloved cat.
> >>
> >> It's an awkward situation, what with her being your neighbour.
> >> I don't think I could help but warn any people I knew that were
> >> trusting her to take care of their furballs.
> >>
> > I've thought about that. I don't know who her "clients" are. No idea
> > who is owned by Blaze.
>
> > And then there is the fact I don't want to alienate her. She's a ditz,
> > obviously, or determined to be convinced all cats are outdoor cats.
>
> > But she's been a wonderful neighbor. I don't want to alienate her.
>
> Have you talked to her about it at all? Voiced your concerns? It wouldn't
> have to be expressed as a criticism of her. You could frame it like, "I'm
> concerned that you will be liable, have you considered what would happen
> if someone's cat died because you let them outside when they asked you
> not to?" So what I'm suggesting is that you approach her like you're on
> her side and you're concerned that she's leaving herself open to big
> trouble. That might motivate her to stop letting them out, without feeling
> alienated.
>

That's a good idea. This is not the old indoor-outdoor debate. This is
a question of following someone's instructions. This neighbor sounds
very selfish to me, and that alone might make her think about the
possible consequences if Jill uses that approach.

MaryL

[Jeßus[_6_]]

On Fri, 24 Jun 2016 20:32:33 -0000 (UTC), Bastette
> wrote:

>jmcquown wrote:
>
> > On 6/23/2016 5:21 PM, Je?us wrote:
> >> On Thu, 23 Jun 2016 16:07:32 -0400, jmcquown >
> >> wrote:
> >>
> >>> On 6/21/2016 10:11 PM, jmcquown wrote:
> >>>>
> >>>> All I could think was Blaze's owner told you NOT to let him out. It's
> >>>> not your decision. He's not your cat!
> >>>>
> >>>> Any thoughts?
> >>>>
> >>>> (I don't plan on letting her cat-sit for Buffy should I ever need it.)
> >>>>
> >>>> Jill
> >>>
> >>> Guess who knocked on my door this morning asking if I'd seen Blaze?
> >>>
> >>> Yep, she let the cat out while she was doing some weeding by one of her
> >>> patios. She went inside for a minute and when she went back outside he
> >>> was gone. (Imagine that! A cat wandering off!)
> >>>
> >>> Sorry, I haven't seen him. I'd have known if Buffy saw him. LOL
> >>>
> >>> Fortunately, she called me about 30 minutes later to tell me he'd come back.
> >>>
> >>> One of these days she's going to pull this trick with a cat that will
> >>> *not* find its' way back. Good luck explaining that to the person who
> >>> trusted her with their beloved cat.
> >>
> >> It's an awkward situation, what with her being your neighbour.
> >> I don't think I could help but warn any people I knew that were
> >> trusting her to take care of their furballs.
> >>
> > I've thought about that. I don't know who her "clients" are. No idea
> > who is owned by Blaze.
>
> > And then there is the fact I don't want to alienate her. She's a ditz,
> > obviously, or determined to be convinced all cats are outdoor cats.
>
> > But she's been a wonderful neighbor. I don't want to alienate her.
>
>Have you talked to her about it at all? Voiced your concerns? It wouldn't
>have to be expressed as a criticism of her. You could frame it like, "I'm
>concerned that you will be liable, have you considered what would happen
>if someone's cat died because you let them outside when they asked you
>not to?" So what I'm suggesting is that you approach her like you're on
>her side and you're concerned that she's leaving herself open to big
>trouble. That might motivate her to stop letting them out, without feeling
>alienated.

That's a good idea, appealing to her own possible liability if
something goes wrong might do the trick.

[jmcquown[_2_]]

On 6/24/2016 4:32 PM, Bastette wrote:
>
> Have you talked to her about it at all? Voiced your concerns? It wouldn't
> have to be expressed as a criticism of her. You could frame it like, "I'm
> concerned that you will be liable, have you considered what would happen
> if someone's cat died because you let them outside when they asked you
> not to?" So what I'm suggesting is that you approach her like you're on
> her side and you're concerned that she's leaving herself open to big
> trouble. That might motivate her to stop letting them out, without feeling
> alienated.

I haven't approached it from that angle, no. She sure was worried when
she couldn't find him so it may have crossed her mind.

The first time I spotted him (upsetting Buffy) she told me he "escaped"
the first day. (I'm not convinced of an escape.) She justified letting
him out after that because he found his way back.

She *knows* how I feel about it. When she told me the owner
specifically told her not to let Blaze out I was so surprised I blurted,
"You did it anyway?!" Her attitude is "but he likes it!" Maybe so but
it's not up to the cat, or her.

If it happens again I will definitely take this approach. I'm not
convinced it would do any good, though. She's very stubborn. She seems
to believe a cat will just sit there like a trained dog just because she
tells it to stay. Buffy is only my second cat but even I know better
than that!

Jill

[MaryL[_2_]]

On 6/25/2016 3:56 PM, jmcquown wrote:
> On 6/24/2016 4:32 PM, Bastette wrote:
>>
>> Have you talked to her about it at all? Voiced your concerns? It wouldn't
>> have to be expressed as a criticism of her. You could frame it like, "I'm
>> concerned that you will be liable, have you considered what would happen
>> if someone's cat died because you let them outside when they asked you
>> not to?" So what I'm suggesting is that you approach her like you're on
>> her side and you're concerned that she's leaving herself open to big
>> trouble. That might motivate her to stop letting them out, without
>> feeling
>> alienated.
>
> I haven't approached it from that angle, no. She sure was worried when
> she couldn't find him so it may have crossed her mind.
>
> The first time I spotted him (upsetting Buffy) she told me he "escaped"
> the first day. (I'm not convinced of an escape.) She justified letting
> him out after that because he found his way back.
>
> She *knows* how I feel about it. When she told me the owner
> specifically told her not to let Blaze out I was so surprised I blurted,
> "You did it anyway?!" Her attitude is "but he likes it!" Maybe so but
> it's not up to the cat, or her.
>
> If it happens again I will definitely take this approach. I'm not
> convinced it would do any good, though. She's very stubborn. She seems
> to believe a cat will just sit there like a trained dog just because she
> tells it to stay. Buffy is only my second cat but even I know better
> than that!
>
> Jill
If you think she will continue to let Blaze out despite his owner's
wishes, then I think I would take steps to let the owner know what is
going on. It would be tragic if Blaze disappeared or was killed because
of your neighbor's attitude. I do realize you want to keep on the good
side of your neighbor, but perhaps you could let the owner know by
casually mentioning the number of times that you have seen Blaze out
(and how upset Buffy gets) rather than a "tattle tale" type of conversation.

Good luck!

MaryL

[jmcquown[_2_]]

On 6/25/2016 5:46 PM, MaryL wrote:
> On 6/25/2016 3:56 PM, jmcquown wrote:
>> On 6/24/2016 4:32 PM, Bastette wrote:
>>>
>>> Have you talked to her about it at all? Voiced your concerns? It
>>> wouldn't
>>> have to be expressed as a criticism of her. You could frame it like,
>>> "I'm
>>> concerned that you will be liable, have you considered what would happen
>>> if someone's cat died because you let them outside when they asked you
>>> not to?" So what I'm suggesting is that you approach her like you're on
>>> her side and you're concerned that she's leaving herself open to big
>>> trouble. That might motivate her to stop letting them out, without
>>> feeling
>>> alienated.
>>
>> I haven't approached it from that angle, no. She sure was worried when
>> she couldn't find him so it may have crossed her mind.
>>
>> The first time I spotted him (upsetting Buffy) she told me he "escaped"
>> the first day. (I'm not convinced of an escape.) She justified letting
>> him out after that because he found his way back.
>>
>> She *knows* how I feel about it. When she told me the owner
>> specifically told her not to let Blaze out I was so surprised I blurted,
>> "You did it anyway?!" Her attitude is "but he likes it!" Maybe so but
>> it's not up to the cat, or her.
>>
>> If it happens again I will definitely take this approach. I'm not
>> convinced it would do any good, though. She's very stubborn. She seems
>> to believe a cat will just sit there like a trained dog just because she
>> tells it to stay. Buffy is only my second cat but even I know better
>> than that!
>>
>> Jill
> If you think she will continue to let Blaze out despite his owner's
> wishes, then I think I would take steps to let the owner know what is
> going on. It would be tragic if Blaze disappeared or was killed because
> of your neighbor's attitude. I do realize you want to keep on the good
> side of your neighbor, but perhaps you could let the owner know by
> casually mentioning the number of times that you have seen Blaze out
> (and how upset Buffy gets) rather than a "tattle tale" type of
> conversation.
>
> Good luck!
>
> MaryL
>
I don't know who the owner is. My neighbor is a bit of a blabber mouth
but she never did mention who owns Blaze. If I knew who owned him I'd
definitely tell them.

Jill

[jmcquown[_2_]]

On 6/24/2016 8:07 AM, Judith Latham wrote:
> In article >,
> jmcquown > wrote:
>
>> This afternoon there was a huge orange tabby which came wandering over
>> from her house. I knew immediately... but I called her, all innocent:
>> have you seen a really large orange tabby out back? "Oh, that's Blaze.
>> I'm cat-sitting."
>
>> She specifically told me the owner does NOT want him going outside. She
>> claims he escaped the first day and she feared she lost him. (I have NO
>> idea why she is not taking care of these cats in their own homes.) She
>> found him but said, "He likes it! outside!" So she let him out when she
>> was on the patio. "I told him to say where I could see him." Oh sure,
>> he'll obey you. WTH?
>
>> All I could think was Blaze's owner told you NOT to let him out. It's
>> not your decision. He's not your cat!
>
>> Any thoughts?
>
>> (I don't plan on letting her cat-sit for Buffy should I ever need it.)
>
>> Jill
>
>
> She should certainly not go against the owner's wishes. I'm sure the owner
> wouldn't leave her to care for the cat if they knew she let it out. It's
> dangerous to let a cat out when it's not used to it.
>
> Judith
>
I agree, Judith. Unfortunately she seems to think she knows better.

Someone else pointed out less dire consequences but fairly obvious: what
if the cat comes home with fleas? The owner will certainly wonder why
an indoor cat suddenly needs to be treated for fleas.

Jill