I Announce my Candidacy

[Tanada]

I, Cap'n Pine Cone esq. announce my candidacy for Gov'nor of the Golden
State. I figure that I am much handsomer and more articulate than all
the other candidates for the job.

I, being a feline, am a natural champion of animals' rights, including
the right to life, neutering, and the pursuit of everything that moves.
I believe that all animals have the right to a home of their own. They
have the right to know where their next meal is coming from, and they
have the right to all the best sleeping spaces in the house. Animals
should have the right to choose their fellow companions, serving staff,
and visitors.

All animals should have the right to medical care. As terrifying and
evil the TED is, all animals should have the right to see TED whenever
needed. TEDs can and must make payment arrangements in order for all
serving staff to be able to take their animals to them. There must be
no exceptions.

All animal serving hoomins shall have precidence in all lines. There
must be no delays for those snackies and toys to get home. They shall
also be given preferance in all employment choices. There must be no
animals without a means of support.

Finally, all animals deserve the right to sniff out the other candidates
and vote for those who are animal friendly. Animal haters must not be
alowed to serve the public in any form. I reserve the right to scratch
and claw at all animal hating public servants and mark them for hoomins
to know and advoid.

Signed,

Cap'n Pine Cone esq.

[wafflyDIRTYcatLITTERhcsBOX]

>I, Cap'n Pine Cone esq. announce my candidacy for Gov'nor of the Golden
>State. I figure that I am much handsomer and more articulate than all
>the other candidates for the job.

Cap'n Pine Cone, if I lived in the USA I'd vote for your as Purresident, never
mind a mere governor of Catafurnia ;-) As it is, I'm in the UK and Waffles
rules here - she just lets Liz be figurehead...

Gentle earscritches, helen s




~~~~~~~~~~
This is sent from a redundant email
Mail sent to it is dumped
My correct one can be gleaned from
h*$el***$$n*$d$ot$**s**i$$m*$m$**on**$s$@*$$a**$*o l*$*.*$$c$om*$
by getting rid of the overdependence on money and fame
~~~~~~~~~~

[Hopitus2]

Cap'n, after you finish your elected terms out West, why don't you throw
your hat (figure of speech, Cap) in the ring down here and see what you can
do for the felines and their entourages of Florida? BTW you are not in any
way related to the cats residing in the present-day White House, are you? No
bro's there?




"wafflyDIRTYcatLITTERhcsBOX" > wrote in message
...
: >I, Cap'n Pine Cone esq. announce my candidacy for Gov'nor of the Golden
: >State. I figure that I am much handsomer and more articulate than all
: >the other candidates for the job.
:
: Cap'n Pine Cone, if I lived in the USA I'd vote for your as Purresident,
never
: mind a mere governor of Catafurnia ;-) As it is, I'm in the UK and Waffles
: rules here - she just lets Liz be figurehead...
:
: Gentle earscritches, helen s
:
:
:
:
: ~~~~~~~~~~
: This is sent from a redundant email
: Mail sent to it is dumped
: My correct one can be gleaned from
: h*$el***$$n*$d$ot$**s**i$$m*$m$**on**$s$@*$$a**$*o l*$*.*$$c$om*$
: by getting rid of the overdependence on money and fame
: ~~~~~~~~~~

[Tanada]

Hopitus2 wrote:
>
> Cap'n, after you finish your elected terms out West, why don't you throw
> your hat (figure of speech, Cap) in the ring down here and see what you can
> do for the felines and their entourages of Florida? BTW you are not in any
> way related to the cats residing in the present-day White House, are you? No
> bro's there?
>

Sadly, I was dumped in a campground here in North Carolina. I have no
idea who my purrants were and who I'm related to, except for my
purrsonal constituency here and on the good ship Mouser.

Cap'n Pine Cone esq. who is not a dirty d*g in spite of what my
opponents say

[Jill McQuown]

Hopitus2 wrote:
> Cap'n, after you finish your elected terms out West, why don't you
> throw your hat (figure of speech, Cap) in the ring down here and see
> what you can do for the felines and their entourages of Florida? BTW
> you are not in any way related to the cats residing in the
> present-day White House, are you? No bro's there?

I find it highly suspicious that no President of the U.S., to my knowledge,
has ever had a cat. You always see photo ops of the dog with the Prez on
the White House lawn, or out for a jog, or peeing on the carpet LOL! But
never the cat cuddled in ones lap. One never sees President Bush brushing a
cat hair off his lapel. Hmmmm. No wonder I don't trust politicians (or
actors pretending to be politicians).

Jill

>
>
>
> "wafflyDIRTYcatLITTERhcsBOX" > wrote in
> message ...
>>> I, Cap'n Pine Cone esq. announce my candidacy for Gov'nor of the
>>> Golden State. I figure that I am much handsomer and more
>>> articulate than all the other candidates for the job.
>>
>> Cap'n Pine Cone, if I lived in the USA I'd vote for your as
>> Purresident, never mind a mere governor of Catafurnia ;-) As it is,
>> I'm in the UK and Waffles rules here - she just lets Liz be
>> figurehead...
>>
>> Gentle earscritches, helen s
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> ~~~~~~~~~~
>> This is sent from a redundant email
>> Mail sent to it is dumped
>> My correct one can be gleaned from
>> h*$el***$$n*$d$ot$**s**i$$m*$m$**on**$s$@*$$a**$*o l*$*.*$$c$om*$
>> by getting rid of the overdependence on money and fame
>> ~~~~~~~~~~

[Sylvia M.]

Braffo!
Kin I be yur go-furr?

Dyna, emprezzt
Anti Sylvia konkurrz,
synze she wudunt vote furr enny uddur kandidayte at diz tyme.

"Tanada" > wrote in message
...
> I, Cap'n Pine Cone esq. announce my candidacy for Gov'nor of the Golden
> State. I figure that I am much handsomer and more articulate than all
> the other candidates for the job.
>
> I, being a feline, am a natural champion of animals' rights, including
> the right to life, neutering, and the pursuit of everything that moves.
> I believe that all animals have the right to a home of their own. They
> have the right to know where their next meal is coming from, and they
> have the right to all the best sleeping spaces in the house. Animals
> should have the right to choose their fellow companions, serving staff,
> and visitors.
>
> All animals should have the right to medical care. As terrifying and
> evil the TED is, all animals should have the right to see TED whenever
> needed. TEDs can and must make payment arrangements in order for all
> serving staff to be able to take their animals to them. There must be
> no exceptions.
>
> All animal serving hoomins shall have precidence in all lines. There
> must be no delays for those snackies and toys to get home. They shall
> also be given preferance in all employment choices. There must be no
> animals without a means of support.
>
> Finally, all animals deserve the right to sniff out the other candidates
> and vote for those who are animal friendly. Animal haters must not be
> alowed to serve the public in any form. I reserve the right to scratch
> and claw at all animal hating public servants and mark them for hoomins
> to know and advoid.
>
> Signed,
>
> Cap'n Pine Cone esq.

[Brenda Watkins]

"Tanada" > wrote in message
...
> I, Cap'n Pine Cone esq. announce my candidacy for Gov'nor of the Golden
> State. I figure that I am much handsomer and more articulate than all
> the other candidates for the job.
>
> I, being a feline, am a natural champion of animals' rights, including
> the right to life, neutering, and the pursuit of everything that moves.
> I believe that all animals have the right to a home of their own. They
> have the right to know where their next meal is coming from, and they
> have the right to all the best sleeping spaces in the house. Animals
> should have the right to choose their fellow companions, serving staff,
> and visitors.
>
> All animals should have the right to medical care. As terrifying and
> evil the TED is, all animals should have the right to see TED whenever
> needed. TEDs can and must make payment arrangements in order for all
> serving staff to be able to take their animals to them. There must be
> no exceptions.
>
> All animal serving hoomins shall have precidence in all lines. There
> must be no delays for those snackies and toys to get home. They shall
> also be given preferance in all employment choices. There must be no
> animals without a means of support.
>
> Finally, all animals deserve the right to sniff out the other candidates
> and vote for those who are animal friendly. Animal haters must not be
> alowed to serve the public in any form. I reserve the right to scratch
> and claw at all animal hating public servants and mark them for hoomins to
know and advoid.
>
> Signed,
>
> Cap'n Pine Cone esq.

Excellent platform, Cap'n! We hope your term as governor will be a stepping
stone to the White House!
Emily and Pea, cheering

[Hopitus2]

Good thinking, Sherry! And from the Cap'n's humble origins, we'd have a
"down-home" leader, one who would give it a rest with all those "tax cuts"
for the *fat cats* of our nation, and concentrate on jobs for its catizens
who need them!


"Sherry " > wrote in message
...
: >I, Cap'n Pine Cone esq. announce my candidacy for Gov'nor of the Golden
: >State. I figure that I am much handsomer and more articulate than all
: >the other candidates for the job.
:
: Dear Cap'n Pine Cone:
: You have my support. Although I am wondering why you don't just skip the
: governorship of Catipurrnia and just run for Purrezident of the United
States.
: "Purresident Pine Cone" has a definite ring to it. After all, we've
already had
: an actor and a peanut farmer, I don't see why a cat can't be president.
:
: Sherry

[bewtifulfreak]

Sherry wrote:
>> I, Cap'n Pine Cone esq. announce my candidacy for Gov'nor of the
>> Golden State. I figure that I am much handsomer and more articulate
>> than all
>> the other candidates for the job.
>
> Dear Cap'n Pine Cone:
> You have my support. Although I am wondering why you don't just skip
> the governorship of Catipurrnia and just run for Purrezident of the
> United States. "Purresident Pine Cone" has a definite ring to it.
> After all, we've already had an actor and a peanut farmer, I don't
> see why a cat can't be president.

There's even a book I have called "The Cat Who Would Be President (Or, How I
Clawed My Way to the Top)" by Michael Cader:

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0140174567/qid=1061209997/sr=1
-17/ref=sr_1_17/104-6521999-6290329?v=glance&s=books

It's out of print, but you can still get it through the market place. The
author also did "Meditations for Cats Who Do Too Much," so if you get a bit
stressed out while campaigning, you can unwind with that. :)

Good luck, Cap'n Pine Cone! Purrsonally, I'd prefer you to Arnie any
day.... ;)

Ann

--

http://www.angelfire.com/ca/bewtifulfreak

[Larry Osborne]

"Dan & Nancy Mahoney" > wrote in message
...
> Tanada wrote:
> > I, Cap'n Pine Cone esq. announce my candidacy for Gov'nor of the Golden
> > State. I figure that I am much handsomer and more articulate than all
> > the other candidates for the job.
>
> Finally, a decent candidate!
>
> Dan (a resident of the Golden State)
>

If he doesn't get on the ballot, there is always WRITE IN. We couldn't do
that here in Canada though as the ballots always have a black background and
only the candidate's name, party (now I think) and a space for an X. If you
mark anything in the blank spot you just voted for that candidate.

Larry Osborne

[Steve Touchstone]

On Mon, 18 Aug 2003 19:12:35 -0400, "Larry Osborne"
> wrote:

>
>"Dan & Nancy Mahoney" > wrote in message
...
>> Tanada wrote:
>> > I, Cap'n Pine Cone esq. announce my candidacy for Gov'nor of the Golden
>> > State. I figure that I am much handsomer and more articulate than all
>> > the other candidates for the job.
>>
>> Finally, a decent candidate!
>>
>> Dan (a resident of the Golden State)
>>
>
>If he doesn't get on the ballot, there is always WRITE IN. We couldn't do
>that here in Canada though as the ballots always have a black background and
>only the candidate's name, party (now I think) and a space for an X. If you
>mark anything in the blank spot you just voted for that candidate.
>
>Larry Osborne
>

Judging from a piece on the evening news (NBC), the whole election is
going to be a real circus. As usual around here, the TV was just noise
in the background, but from what I picked up the 200+ candidates on
the ballot will not be in alphabetical order. Those who want to can
include a short statment about themselves and their plan for the
governorship. Not all the candidates can include the statement, though
I didn't catch why some can and others can't. It sounds like voters
may be in the polling booth for quite awhile even if they know who
they're planning to vote for, and the possibility for a lot of ballots
being marked incorrectly and being thrown out seems like a real
possibility to me.

[Hopitus2]

At long last, the spotlight is *off* the Sunshine State and has moved
westward for election insanity!
"Marked incorrectly and thrown out" indeed!


"Steve Touchstone" > wrote in message
...
: On Mon, 18 Aug 2003 19:12:35 -0400, "Larry Osborne"
: > wrote:
:
: >
: >"Dan & Nancy Mahoney" > wrote in message
: ...
: >> Tanada wrote:
: >> > I, Cap'n Pine Cone esq. announce my candidacy for Gov'nor of the
Golden
: >> > State. I figure that I am much handsomer and more articulate than
all
: >> > the other candidates for the job.
: >>
: >> Finally, a decent candidate!
: >>
: >> Dan (a resident of the Golden State)
: >>
: >
: >If he doesn't get on the ballot, there is always WRITE IN. We couldn't
do
: >that here in Canada though as the ballots always have a black background
and
: >only the candidate's name, party (now I think) and a space for an X. If
you
: >mark anything in the blank spot you just voted for that candidate.
: >
: >Larry Osborne
: >
:
: Judging from a piece on the evening news (NBC), the whole election is
: going to be a real circus. As usual around here, the TV was just noise
: in the background, but from what I picked up the 200+ candidates on
: the ballot will not be in alphabetical order. Those who want to can
: include a short statment about themselves and their plan for the
: governorship. Not all the candidates can include the statement, though
: I didn't catch why some can and others can't. It sounds like voters
: may be in the polling booth for quite awhile even if they know who
: they're planning to vote for, and the possibility for a lot of ballots
: being marked incorrectly and being thrown out seems like a real
: possibility to me.

[Tanada]

Steve Touchstone wrote:
>
> Judging from a piece on the evening news (NBC), the whole election is
> going to be a real circus. As usual around here, the TV was just noise
> in the background, but from what I picked up the 200+ candidates on
> the ballot will not be in alphabetical order. Those who want to can
> include a short statment about themselves and their plan for the
> governorship. Not all the candidates can include the statement, though
> I didn't catch why some can and others can't. It sounds like voters
> may be in the polling booth for quite awhile even if they know who
> they're planning to vote for, and the possibility for a lot of ballots
> being marked incorrectly and being thrown out seems like a real
> possibility to me.

Possibility??? It's more like a probability. In fact, that's how we
get me elected. I'm a clear, clean-furred, and distinctive catidate.
Those of you in Catifornia can print off my picture from the fat wench's
photo pages, or even my web pages, and post them with a copy of my
declaration of catidancy. Maybe we'll make those Catafornians more
aware of my superiority as gov'ner of the Golden State.

Cap'n Pine Cone esq.

[Tanada]

Helen Miles wrote:
>
> Dear Captain Pine Cone,
>
> I would like to make the application to be your foreign secretary. I am
> an experienced traveller who has been all over the world and flown
> across the Atlantic and to Central America and I have been in 6
> airplanes and I have been to Houston. (Why that is relevant, I don't
> know, but HRFL Tiger told me to leave it in the post - human slave)
>
> I am British and live in America, and I am going back to Scotland where
> men wear skirts, in January. I have Royal connections and I am very good
> at making humans do what they are told. I am also the Alpha cat in my
> house.
>
> I am perfect for the job.
>
> Yours
>
> His Royal Feline Lordship Tiger Alpha Cat
>
>

YES!! The first member of my Catinette. You are a welcome addition to
our staff. The hoomins will, of course, remain subordinate.


Cap'n Pine Cone esq.

[wafflyDIRTYcatLITTERhcsBOX]

Following Tiger's most excellent application to be furreign secretary, I,
Waffles, would like to make appurrcation to be secretary of state for defence.
I am, after all, a mighty hunter, believing in peace through strong defence -
and defence with my fang and claw is awesome. I will defend when needed yet
remain serene and spread peace through purrs as my furst priority.

Should you need a secretary of state for *lurve* may I respectfurly suggest
Frank. He is the best lurve god in the world. I should know.


Purrs, Waffles

~~~~~~~~~~
This is sent from a redundant email
Mail sent to it is dumped
My correct one can be gleaned from
h*$el***$$n*$d$ot$**s**i$$m*$m$**on**$s$@*$$a**$*o l*$*.*$$c$om*$
by getting rid of the overdependence on money and fame
~~~~~~~~~~

[Cathi]

Jasper would like to apply for the post of Minister for Sport. He
thinks it's great sport to pounce on Carrie when she's sunning herself
on the lawn.

--
Cathi

[Tanada]

Cory wrote:
>
> On Tue, 19 Aug 2003 21:57:16 GMT, Tanada said...
> <shredded to save room on the servers...>
> > The hoomins will, of course, remain subordinate.
>
> UB ~ Ha! That's what YOU think, bub...
>
> > Cap'n Pine Cone esq.

Who or what are you?

Cap'n Pine Cone esq. who is quite sure that Cory is not a cat, as a cat
KNOWS the hoomins' place in the scheme of things.

[Tanada]

wafflyDIRTYcatLITTERhcsBOX wrote:
>
> Following Tiger's most excellent application to be furreign secretary, I,
> Waffles, would like to make appurrcation to be secretary of state for defence.
> I am, after all, a mighty hunter, believing in peace through strong defence -
> and defence with my fang and claw is awesome. I will defend when needed yet
> remain serene and spread peace through purrs as my furst priority.
>
> Should you need a secretary of state for *lurve* may I respectfurly suggest
> Frank. He is the best lurve god in the world. I should know.
>
>

I thinks Catifornia needs a someone in charge of "lurve" as hoomins
there seem to have strange ideas of what lurve is. We could also use a
secatary of war as we're going to need to make war on the hoomins until
they understands that we are in charge. Interested?

Cap'n Pine Cone esq.

[Tanada]

Marina wrote:
>
>
> If there isn't an opening for a secretary for lurve (which I think every
> country should have), Frank demonstrated his excellent diplomatic skills
> this summer, when he negotiated peace between three strapping young male
> cats who were rearing to have a go at each other, so Frank could be an
> ambassador to some troubled area, like Purrsia.
>
>

You wanna send Frank to Persia's house? I thought she had her own
hoomin that she keeps in line. Persia has no trouble being in control.

Cap'n Pine Cone esq.

[Tanada]

Cathi wrote:
>
> Jasper would like to apply for the post of Minister for Sport. He
> thinks it's great sport to pounce on Carrie when she's sunning herself
> on the lawn.
>
>

Why not? Jasper would do a great job teaching the hoomins to play
properly. Hoomins seem to have a problem with playing nicely. They are
too serious and mean. We can train them.

Cap'n Pine Cone esq.

[wafflyDIRTYcatLITTERhcsBOX]

>I thinks Catifornia needs a someone in charge of "lurve" as hoomins
>there seem to have strange ideas of what lurve is.

Frank is your cat for the job.


>We could also use a
>secatary of war as we're going to need to make war on the hoomins until
>they understands that we are in charge. Interested?

I am your warrior.

Purrs, Waffles the Mighty



~~~~~~~~~~
This is sent from a redundant email
Mail sent to it is dumped
My correct one can be gleaned from
h*$el***$$n*$d$ot$**s**i$$m*$m$**on**$s$@*$$a**$*o l*$*.*$$c$om*$
by getting rid of the overdependence on money and fame
~~~~~~~~~~

[Chloe]

"Sherry " > wrote in message
...
> >I, Cap'n Pine Cone esq. announce my candidacy for Gov'nor of the Golden
> >State. I figure that I am much handsomer and more articulate than all
> >the other candidates for the job.
>
> Dear Cap'n Pine Cone:
> You have my support. Although I am wondering why you don't just skip the
> governorship of Catipurrnia and just run for Purrezident of the United
States.
> "Purresident Pine Cone" has a definite ring to it. After all, we've
already had
> an actor and a peanut farmer, I don't see why a cat can't be president.
>
> Sherry

Oh yes - Purresident Pine Cone definitely sounds good to me. I can just see
myself as the First Kitty, Chloe-Cat. The first thing I would do of course
is send Tiffany away...

Purrs,
Chloe-Cat.

[Helen Miles]

I'll be Secretary of Edu-cat-ion 'coz I KNOW how to train humans so they
pander to my every whim. I mean - I've managed to make the male human
believe that it is my god given right to drink the milk out of his
cereal bowl and he makes me marmite on toast in the morning.

Robbie (HRFL Tigers right paw cat)


--
Posted via Mailgate.ORG Server - http://www.Mailgate.ORG

[Cap'n Pine Cone esq.]

Helen Miles wrote:
>
> I'll be Secretary of Edu-cat-ion 'coz I KNOW how to train humans so they
> pander to my every whim. I mean - I've managed to make the male human
> believe that it is my god given right to drink the milk out of his
> cereal bowl and he makes me marmite on toast in the morning.
>
> Robbie (HRFL Tigers right paw cat)
>


Between you teaching them, and Waffles smacking them into line, the
hoomins should be behaving properly in short order. I think our plans
are coming together.

Cap'n Pine Cone esq.

[Boogie's Mom]

I'll fote fur you, too. Anna if things don't work out in Catifornia, you'ze
cud come anna run fur Guvenor of Floriduh.

Boogie da HarpurrCat

"Cap'n Pine Cone esq." > wrote in message
...
> Helen Miles wrote:
> >
> > I'll be Secretary of Edu-cat-ion 'coz I KNOW how to train humans so they
> > pander to my every whim. I mean - I've managed to make the male human
> > believe that it is my god given right to drink the milk out of his
> > cereal bowl and he makes me marmite on toast in the morning.
> >
> > Robbie (HRFL Tigers right paw cat)
> >
>
>
> Between you teaching them, and Waffles smacking them into line, the
> hoomins should be behaving properly in short order. I think our plans
> are coming together.
>
> Cap'n Pine Cone esq.

[wafflyDIRTYcatLITTERhcsBOX]

>Could you please inform this ignorant hoomin what DOC is? I searched the
>FAQ but couldn't find it....
>

If I remember correctly, it's Distinguished Older Cat. Of course, being a mere
hoomin, I could be wrong ;-)

Cheers, helen s


~~~~~~~~~~
This is sent from a redundant email
Mail sent to it is dumped
My correct one can be gleaned from
h*$el***$$n*$d$ot$**s**i$$m*$m$**on**$s$@*$$a**$*o l*$*.*$$c$om*$
by getting rid of the overdependence on money and fame
~~~~~~~~~~

[ChildFree23]

> > Whassa matter, Boogie? Don't you like Jeb either?
> >
> > Capt. Midnight
> > DOC In Training
> >
> > Meow Boogie! I've missed you!
> >
> > Kitty Schottland DOC
> > Chief Tortie In Residence
>
> Could you please inform this ignorant hoomin what DOC is? I searched the
> FAQ but couldn't find it....
>
> Thank you Cap'n and Kitty! :)

It means Distinguished Older Cat, a title that we kittiez earn when we turn
ten years old. There's also SOC, for Sophisticated Older Cat -- also used
for the tenth purrday.

Would some more knowledgeable kitty please explain the abbreviations, or
post a link where Auntie Ann could look it up herselves?

Fangu,
Kitty Schottland DOC & Capt. Midnight

[Da Koster Katz]

bewtifulfreak wrote:

> ChildFree23 wrote:
>
>
>>>Could you please inform this ignorant hoomin what DOC is? I
>>>searched the FAQ but couldn't find it....
>>>
>>>Thank you Cap'n and Kitty! :)
>>
>>It means Distinguished Older Cat, a title that we kittiez earn when
>>we turn ten years old. There's also SOC, for Sophisticated Older Cat
>>-- also used for the tenth purrday.
>>
>>Would some more knowledgeable kitty please explain the abbreviations,
>>or post a link where Auntie Ann could look it up herselves?
>>
>>Fangu,
>>Kitty Schottland DOC & Capt. Midnight
>
>
> Fangu, guys! You seem very distinguished to me.... :)
>
> Scritchies,
> Ann
>

Owrz websiytefingy haz da rpcc glossary dat eggsplaynes summa dat. Jest
chek ourz sig.

Junior da hewpful

--
****Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.****

Koster Katz: http://www.willapabay.org/~seabreez
RPCC Glossary: http://www.willapabay.org/~seabreez/glossary.html

[bewtifulfreak]

Da Koster Katz wrote:

> Owrz websiytefingy haz da rpcc glossary dat eggsplaynes summa dat.
> Jest chek ourz sig.
>
> Junior da hewpful

Fangu very much, Junior, that is very hewpful and sweet as well. :)

Ann
soon to be more educated ;)

--

http://www.angelfire.com/ca/bewtifulfreak

[Miss Violette]

If we were voting in that race we would have voted for you, Miss Violette
Tanada > wrote in message
...
> I, Cap'n Pine Cone esq. announce my candidacy for Gov'nor of the Golden
> State. I figure that I am much handsomer and more articulate than all
> the other candidates for the job.
>
> I, being a feline, am a natural champion of animals' rights, including
> the right to life, neutering, and the pursuit of everything that moves.
> I believe that all animals have the right to a home of their own. They
> have the right to know where their next meal is coming from, and they
> have the right to all the best sleeping spaces in the house. Animals
> should have the right to choose their fellow companions, serving staff,
> and visitors.
>
> All animals should have the right to medical care. As terrifying and
> evil the TED is, all animals should have the right to see TED whenever
> needed. TEDs can and must make payment arrangements in order for all
> serving staff to be able to take their animals to them. There must be
> no exceptions.
>
> All animal serving hoomins shall have precidence in all lines. There
> must be no delays for those snackies and toys to get home. They shall
> also be given preferance in all employment choices. There must be no
> animals without a means of support.
>
> Finally, all animals deserve the right to sniff out the other candidates
> and vote for those who are animal friendly. Animal haters must not be
> alowed to serve the public in any form. I reserve the right to scratch
> and claw at all animal hating public servants and mark them for hoomins
> to know and advoid.
>
> Signed,
>
> Cap'n Pine Cone esq.