yet another foster kitty!

[[email protected]]

I'm fostering another kitty! This one's an adult, female, I'm not sure
how old, but she seems youngish, maybe a year or two. I won't have her
for too long, though - I only took her for a few days so she wouldn't
have to go back to boarding. The poor thing was in boarding for a week,
and in a shelter before that, and then she was at the mobile adoption
on Saturday, where I volunteered. So she's been in a cage for a long
time. I took her this week so she'd be able to move around. She's still
confined to one room (separated from my brood) but at least she can run
around the room and sleep on something soft.

She's a *very* affectionate cat. She's starved for attention and touch,
I'm sure, and she's extremely cuddly and loves to be petted. The first
night, she slept on top of me, purring. She's going to be someone's
wonderful pet. A guy came to the mobile on Saturday who was very
interested in adopting her, but couldn't take her until he moved into
a new place, where they allow pets. So she's in limbo right now, waiting
for her human to be able to take her.

I don't have any photos of her - she's a black and white tuxedo with
the most satiny, shiny, smooth fur I've ever petted.

Oh, and I think I might have found a home for Lambchop!!! I put an ad
on Petfinders and a guy in my area responded. He has AIDS and is alone
and lonely a lot, and wants a pet. There's an organization in our area
called PAWS (Pets Are Wonderful Support) that helps people with AIDS
be able to keep their pets when they are too ill to care for them, and
also helps them get free or inexpensive, donated veterinary care when
they can't afford to pay for it. He has signed up for their services,
so he'll be able to have a cat. I'm going to bring her by to meet him
soon, so we'll see if it works out. I've already told him that she's a
quirky, non-cuddly cat, and he's undeterred so far.

One thing that concerns me is, what happens when he dies? I know
people can live a long time with AIDS, but Lambchop's only one year
old, so there's a good chance she'll outlive him. One thing I plan to
say to him is that if he's unhappy with her for any reason, I will
take her back. I don't want her to be brought to a shelter and
euthanized because he doesn't like her. But I'm not sure how to bring
up the subject of what his plans are for her, in case he dies before
she does. He seems like a very nice, sincere guy, but I'm not sure
if he's thought this whole thing through. It's kind of a delicate
question to ask a perfect stranger, though! Any suggestions?

Joyce

[Brenda Watkins]

> wrote in message
...
> I'm fostering another kitty! This one's an adult, female, I'm not sure
> how old, but she seems youngish, maybe a year or two. I won't have her
> for too long, though - I only took her for a few days so she wouldn't
> have to go back to boarding. The poor thing was in boarding for a week,
> and in a shelter before that, and then she was at the mobile adoption
> on Saturday, where I volunteered. So she's been in a cage for a long
> time. I took her this week so she'd be able to move around. She's still
> confined to one room (separated from my brood) but at least she can run
> around the room and sleep on something soft.
>
> She's a *very* affectionate cat. She's starved for attention and touch,
> I'm sure, and she's extremely cuddly and loves to be petted. The first
> night, she slept on top of me, purring. She's going to be someone's
> wonderful pet. A guy came to the mobile on Saturday who was very
> interested in adopting her, but couldn't take her until he moved into
> a new place, where they allow pets. So she's in limbo right now, waiting
for her human to be able to take her.
>
> I don't have any photos of her - she's a black and white tuxedo with the
most satiny, shiny, smooth fur I've ever petted.
>
> Oh, and I think I might have found a home for Lambchop!!! I put an ad
> on Petfinders and a guy in my area responded. He has AIDS and is alone
> and lonely a lot, and wants a pet. There's an organization in our area
> called PAWS (Pets Are Wonderful Support) that helps people with AIDS
> be able to keep their pets when they are too ill to care for them, and
> also helps them get free or inexpensive, donated veterinary care when
> they can't afford to pay for it. He has signed up for their services,
> so he'll be able to have a cat. I'm going to bring her by to meet him
> soon, so we'll see if it works out. I've already told him that she's a
> quirky, non-cuddly cat, and he's undeterred so far.
>
> One thing that concerns me is, what happens when he dies? I know
> people can live a long time with AIDS, but Lambchop's only one year
> old, so there's a good chance she'll outlive him. One thing I plan to say
to him is that if he's unhappy with her for any reason, I will
> take her back. I don't want her to be brought to a shelter and euthanized
because he doesn't like her. But I'm not sure how to bring
> up the subject of what his plans are for her, in case he dies before she
does. He seems like a very nice, sincere guy, but I'm not sure
> if he's thought this whole thing through. It's kind of a delicate question
to ask a perfect stranger, though! Any suggestions?
>
> Joyce

I think telling him that you'll take her back "if he doesn't like her - or
for any other reason" might be a fairly diplomatic way to put it.
Brenda

[Karen Chuplis]

in article ,
at wrote on 8/11/03 8:53
PM:

> I'm fostering another kitty! This one's an adult, female, I'm not sure
> how old, but she seems youngish, maybe a year or two. I won't have her
> for too long, though - I only took her for a few days so she wouldn't
> have to go back to boarding. The poor thing was in boarding for a week,
> and in a shelter before that, and then she was at the mobile adoption
> on Saturday, where I volunteered. So she's been in a cage for a long
> time. I took her this week so she'd be able to move around. She's still
> confined to one room (separated from my brood) but at least she can run
> around the room and sleep on something soft.
>
> She's a *very* affectionate cat. She's starved for attention and touch,
> I'm sure, and she's extremely cuddly and loves to be petted. The first
> night, she slept on top of me, purring. She's going to be someone's
> wonderful pet. A guy came to the mobile on Saturday who was very
> interested in adopting her, but couldn't take her until he moved into
> a new place, where they allow pets. So she's in limbo right now, waiting
> for her human to be able to take her.
>
> I don't have any photos of her - she's a black and white tuxedo with
> the most satiny, shiny, smooth fur I've ever petted.
>
> Oh, and I think I might have found a home for Lambchop!!! I put an ad
> on Petfinders and a guy in my area responded. He has AIDS and is alone
> and lonely a lot, and wants a pet. There's an organization in our area
> called PAWS (Pets Are Wonderful Support) that helps people with AIDS
> be able to keep their pets when they are too ill to care for them, and
> also helps them get free or inexpensive, donated veterinary care when
> they can't afford to pay for it. He has signed up for their services,
> so he'll be able to have a cat. I'm going to bring her by to meet him
> soon, so we'll see if it works out. I've already told him that she's a
> quirky, non-cuddly cat, and he's undeterred so far.
>
> One thing that concerns me is, what happens when he dies? I know
> people can live a long time with AIDS, but Lambchop's only one year
> old, so there's a good chance she'll outlive him. One thing I plan to
> say to him is that if he's unhappy with her for any reason, I will
> take her back. I don't want her to be brought to a shelter and
> euthanized because he doesn't like her. But I'm not sure how to bring
> up the subject of what his plans are for her, in case he dies before
> she does. He seems like a very nice, sincere guy, but I'm not sure
> if he's thought this whole thing through. It's kind of a delicate
> question to ask a perfect stranger, though! Any suggestions?
>
> Joyce

Just tell him that you will always be glad to take her back for any reason.
Keep in touch with him. SOunds like he needs a friend.

Karen

[[email protected]]

Thanks everyone for the suggestions about what to do about the man
who wants to adopt Lambchop.

I don't want to promise that my home will be open to her forever.
Certainly over the next few months, if he decides it's not working, I
would take her back. But what if, 3 years from now, he got very sick
or died - I don't want to be tied to a promise to take her back. What
if I'm living somewhere with a strict pet policy? Or say I'm living
with someone and we have 3 more cats? What if *I'm* sick?

Obviously, if it works for me to take her back, I will, but I can't
be sure it will be possible. I think it would make more sense for him
to have an arrangement that's more stable, say with an organization.

I think calling PAWS and finding out what they do in those cases is
a great idea.

Joyce

[Jo Firey]

I would think that finding another home for a pet in the event of his death would be
something he would deal with himself. And I'm sure PAWS would help with such
arrangements.

--
Jo Firey

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take
our breath away."
> wrote in message
...
> I'm fostering another kitty! This one's an adult, female, I'm not sure
> how old, but she seems youngish, maybe a year or two. I won't have her
> for too long, though - I only took her for a few days so she wouldn't
> have to go back to boarding. The poor thing was in boarding for a week,
> and in a shelter before that, and then she was at the mobile adoption
> on Saturday, where I volunteered. So she's been in a cage for a long
> time. I took her this week so she'd be able to move around. She's still
> confined to one room (separated from my brood) but at least she can run
> around the room and sleep on something soft.
>
> She's a *very* affectionate cat. She's starved for attention and touch,
> I'm sure, and she's extremely cuddly and loves to be petted. The first
> night, she slept on top of me, purring. She's going to be someone's
> wonderful pet. A guy came to the mobile on Saturday who was very
> interested in adopting her, but couldn't take her until he moved into
> a new place, where they allow pets. So she's in limbo right now, waiting
> for her human to be able to take her.
>
> I don't have any photos of her - she's a black and white tuxedo with
> the most satiny, shiny, smooth fur I've ever petted.
>
> Oh, and I think I might have found a home for Lambchop!!! I put an ad
> on Petfinders and a guy in my area responded. He has AIDS and is alone
> and lonely a lot, and wants a pet. There's an organization in our area
> called PAWS (Pets Are Wonderful Support) that helps people with AIDS
> be able to keep their pets when they are too ill to care for them, and
> also helps them get free or inexpensive, donated veterinary care when
> they can't afford to pay for it. He has signed up for their services,
> so he'll be able to have a cat. I'm going to bring her by to meet him
> soon, so we'll see if it works out. I've already told him that she's a
> quirky, non-cuddly cat, and he's undeterred so far.
>
> One thing that concerns me is, what happens when he dies? I know
> people can live a long time with AIDS, but Lambchop's only one year
> old, so there's a good chance she'll outlive him. One thing I plan to
> say to him is that if he's unhappy with her for any reason, I will
> take her back. I don't want her to be brought to a shelter and
> euthanized because he doesn't like her. But I'm not sure how to bring
> up the subject of what his plans are for her, in case he dies before
> she does. He seems like a very nice, sincere guy, but I'm not sure
> if he's thought this whole thing through. It's kind of a delicate
> question to ask a perfect stranger, though! Any suggestions?
>
> Joyce

[[email protected]]

I wrote:

> I think calling PAWS and finding out what they do in those cases is
> a great idea.

Well, I looked at the PAWS website, and it turns out that they only
serve people in San Francisco proper. This guy lives in Oakland, which
is close to San Francisco, but apparently outside of PAWS's service
area. So I called him to ask him to explain exactly what PAWS did for
him. I got a little suspicious, thinking that he was lying to me. But
he wasn't, they did recommend some low-cost vets he could go to. But
they didn't give him any other services, and they won't be, because he
doesn't live in SF.

So now the question is, what will happen to Lambchop if he becomes too
sick to take care of her? I don't think there is an organization over
here to step in and help in his case. As he said to me, "if they have
$100 in San Francisco for AIDS services, they have ten cents in Oakland."

San Francisco has a huge gay community and they are very well organized
and funded for AIDS services. Oakland is largely black and much poorer.
Also, AIDS has been a problem in the gay community for much longer, so
they've had much more time to set things up. These days, the black
community is in much greater danger from AIDS, but they don't have as
much infrastructure in place to deal with it. They also don't have the
financial or political resources to get all the services they need.
(Too bad we can't depend on our *government* to provide these services
equally to everyone who needs them - what a novel idea!)

I would really like for this guy to adopt Lambchop - he wants a cat,
she needs a home, and Roxy and Smudge need this apartment to be a
"Lambchop-free space". <fret, fret, fret> What to do??

Joyce

[LOL]

wrote in message >...
> I'm fostering another kitty! This one's an adult, female, I'm not sure
> how old, but she seems youngish, maybe a year or two. I won't have her
> for too long, though - I only took her for a few days so she wouldn't
> have to go back to boarding. The poor thing was in boarding for a week,
> and in a shelter before that, and then she was at the mobile adoption
> on Saturday, where I volunteered. So she's been in a cage for a long
> time. I took her this week so she'd be able to move around. She's still
> confined to one room (separated from my brood) but at least she can run
> around the room and sleep on something soft.
>
> She's a *very* affectionate cat. She's starved for attention and touch,
> I'm sure, and she's extremely cuddly and loves to be petted. The first
> night, she slept on top of me, purring. She's going to be someone's
> wonderful pet. A guy came to the mobile on Saturday who was very
> interested in adopting her, but couldn't take her until he moved into
> a new place, where they allow pets. So she's in limbo right now, waiting
> for her human to be able to take her.
>
> I don't have any photos of her - she's a black and white tuxedo with
> the most satiny, shiny, smooth fur I've ever petted.
>
> Oh, and I think I might have found a home for Lambchop!!! I put an ad
> on Petfinders and a guy in my area responded. He has AIDS and is alone
> and lonely a lot, and wants a pet. There's an organization in our area
> called PAWS (Pets Are Wonderful Support) that helps people with AIDS
> be able to keep their pets when they are too ill to care for them, and
> also helps them get free or inexpensive, donated veterinary care when
> they can't afford to pay for it. He has signed up for their services,
> so he'll be able to have a cat. I'm going to bring her by to meet him
> soon, so we'll see if it works out. I've already told him that she's a
> quirky, non-cuddly cat, and he's undeterred so far.
>
> One thing that concerns me is, what happens when he dies? I know
> people can live a long time with AIDS, but Lambchop's only one year
> old, so there's a good chance she'll outlive him. One thing I plan to
> say to him is that if he's unhappy with her for any reason, I will
> take her back. I don't want her to be brought to a shelter and
> euthanized because he doesn't like her. But I'm not sure how to bring
> up the subject of what his plans are for her, in case he dies before
> she does. He seems like a very nice, sincere guy, but I'm not sure
> if he's thought this whole thing through. It's kind of a delicate
> question to ask a perfect stranger, though! Any suggestions?
>
> Joyce


Purrs to you and your new foster; I hope everything works out well.

Do you have any idea whether the PAWS organization makes arrangements
for the pets after the human's death? I would imagine they have had
to deal with this situation quite a bit; maybe arrangements can be
made through the organization? Or you could ask the young man whether
he is making provision for Lambchop in a will, or something along
those lines? Or even offer taking her back as an
alternative/supplement to PAWS if he became unable to live at home? I
wouldn't feel it was too awfully intrusive to ask, under the
circumstances, but do not envy your having to ask it. We will be
purring for you in dealing with this situation.

-----
Krista

[bewtifulfreak]

"Jo Firey" > wrote in message
...
> I would think that finding another home for a pet in the event of his
death would be
> something he would deal with himself. And I'm sure PAWS would help with
such
> arrangements.

Or certainly some organization or friend would. I agree; as unpleasant as
I'm sure it is, he has probably thought about things like that and will most
likely look into arrangements for the cat if his health starts to decline.
I imagine a lot of people in his situation have pets, and make sure they
make arrangements for them. But I most certainly understand your concern,
it's really very sweet of you to care so much about both the cat and his
feelings. It sounds like they'll be good for each other, though, so I
wouldn't worry too much. :)

Ann

--

http://www.angelfire.com/ca/bewtifulfreak

[MaryL]

> wrote in message
...
>
> Oh, and I think I might have found a home for Lambchop!!! I put an ad
> on Petfinders and a guy in my area responded. He has AIDS and is alone
> and lonely a lot, and wants a pet.
>
> One thing that concerns me is, what happens when he dies? I know
> people can live a long time with AIDS, but Lambchop's only one year
> old, so there's a good chance she'll outlive him. One thing I plan to
> say to him is that if he's unhappy with her for any reason, I will
> take her back. I don't want her to be brought to a shelter and
> euthanized because he doesn't like her. But I'm not sure how to bring
> up the subject of what his plans are for her, in case he dies before
> she does. He seems like a very nice, sincere guy, but I'm not sure
> if he's thought this whole thing through. It's kind of a delicate
> question to ask a perfect stranger, though! Any suggestions?
>
> Joyce

I think it would be perfectly appropriate to ask him to include provisions
for the care of his new cat if anything were to happen to him. I have made
provisions for my cats even though I am healthy because none of us can be
sure of how long we will live. I felt as if a huge burden had been lifted
from my shoulders when I knew that my cats would be cared for if something
happned to me. In my case, my sister and I have each agreed to insure that
the other's cats will have a good home. The man you are talking about may
already have given a lot of thought to this situation. He may have friends
or relatives who would be willing to enter into such an agreement. His own
health is particularly vulnerable, so this idea will not come as a surprise
to him.

MaryL

[M.L. Briggs]

The best way to deal (IMO) is to come right out and ask. Everyone dies
sooner or later -- he knows it - you know it) Don't pussyfoot around
the issue. Leave him your name and phone number and tell him to call
you anytime he feels he can no longer care for the cat. Honesty is the
best policy. MLB

LOL wrote:

wrote in message >...
>
>
>>I'm fostering another kitty! This one's an adult, female, I'm not sure
>>how old, but she seems youngish, maybe a year or two. I won't have her
>>for too long, though - I only took her for a few days so she wouldn't
>>have to go back to boarding. The poor thing was in boarding for a week,
>>and in a shelter before that, and then she was at the mobile adoption
>>on Saturday, where I volunteered. So she's been in a cage for a long
>>time. I took her this week so she'd be able to move around. She's still
>>confined to one room (separated from my brood) but at least she can run
>>around the room and sleep on something soft.
>>
>>She's a *very* affectionate cat. She's starved for attention and touch,
>>I'm sure, and she's extremely cuddly and loves to be petted. The first
>>night, she slept on top of me, purring. She's going to be someone's
>>wonderful pet. A guy came to the mobile on Saturday who was very
>>interested in adopting her, but couldn't take her until he moved into
>>a new place, where they allow pets. So she's in limbo right now, waiting
>>for her human to be able to take her.
>>
>>I don't have any photos of her - she's a black and white tuxedo with
>>the most satiny, shiny, smooth fur I've ever petted.
>>
>>Oh, and I think I might have found a home for Lambchop!!! I put an ad
>>on Petfinders and a guy in my area responded. He has AIDS and is alone
>>and lonely a lot, and wants a pet. There's an organization in our area
>>called PAWS (Pets Are Wonderful Support) that helps people with AIDS
>>be able to keep their pets when they are too ill to care for them, and
>>also helps them get free or inexpensive, donated veterinary care when
>>they can't afford to pay for it. He has signed up for their services,
>>so he'll be able to have a cat. I'm going to bring her by to meet him
>>soon, so we'll see if it works out. I've already told him that she's a
>>quirky, non-cuddly cat, and he's undeterred so far.
>>
>>One thing that concerns me is, what happens when he dies? I know
>>people can live a long time with AIDS, but Lambchop's only one year
>>old, so there's a good chance she'll outlive him. One thing I plan to
>>say to him is that if he's unhappy with her for any reason, I will
>>take her back. I don't want her to be brought to a shelter and
>>euthanized because he doesn't like her. But I'm not sure how to bring
>>up the subject of what his plans are for her, in case he dies before
>>she does. He seems like a very nice, sincere guy, but I'm not sure
>>if he's thought this whole thing through. It's kind of a delicate
>>question to ask a perfect stranger, though! Any suggestions?
>>
>>Joyce
>>
>>
>
>
>Purrs to you and your new foster; I hope everything works out well.
>
>Do you have any idea whether the PAWS organization makes arrangements
>for the pets after the human's death? I would imagine they have had
>to deal with this situation quite a bit; maybe arrangements can be
>made through the organization? Or you could ask the young man whether
>he is making provision for Lambchop in a will, or something along
>those lines? Or even offer taking her back as an
>alternative/supplement to PAWS if he became unable to live at home? I
>wouldn't feel it was too awfully intrusive to ask, under the
>circumstances, but do not envy your having to ask it. We will be
>purring for you in dealing with this situation.
>
>-----
>Krista
>
>

[MaryL]

> wrote in message
...
> Victor M. Martinez > wrote:
>
> > Does he have full-blown AIDS or is he just HIV+? Big difference in
terms
> > of life expectancy.
>
> He said AIDS.
>
> > Just be polite and considerate. I don't think it's rude to ask what his
> > plans are in case he gets too sick to care for her (you could ask that
> > instead of "when you die").
>
> Yeah, I can't imagine saying "when you die" - ick! "In case you get too
> sick to care for her" is a good way to say it. (It's clear I don't spend
> a lot of time around sick people!)
>
> Thanks,
> Joyce

Yes, I think that would be a good way to put it. And I agree that it is
difficult to know what to say to someone who is very ill. However, my
brother-in-law died of leukemia a number of years ago (at the age of 42).
He really appreciated people who were willing to talk openly about his
illness. He said it can be very lonely and isolating when people just
change the subject and want to act as if "everything is alright" when he
knew that his life expectancy was actually very short. Of course, it would
be far more difficult (and possibly intrusive) for a stranger to approach
something in the same way as a close friend or relative could.

MaryL