Chester revelation

[Susan M]

A post from Fil a while ago got me thinking about welcoming Chester into the
family and it occured to me that I hadn't actually formally welcomed him.
It's been more of a pay-attention-to-Chester-thing-when-Otis-isn't-looking.
.... but I hadn't really realized that I was doing that. Otis is too
possessive and I haven't wanted to get Chester in trouble.

Well, once I realized what I've done FOR ALMOST 10 YEARS, I talked to
Chester and formally welcomed him as a fully functioning member of the
family, with all related priviledges.

It actually has made a difference. He sleeps on the bed all the time and
will come up and curl beside me. I can call to him when Otis is in the room
and Chester can come for love without getting run off by Otis. I think my
subtle body language change has given a message to darling Otis that Chester
has rights too - and that I don't love him any less when I pay attention to
Chester. Chester has always been loved and pampered and treated like
royalty but there was just a subconscious difference in the way I treated
the two of them. I delighted to say that Chester has really grown into the
role beautifully. He's still a cat that seems to prefer some quiet time on
his own every day (Otis prefers constant companionship) but he's also
unashamed about asking for love in front of his brother.

I can't believe that they're 10 years old (Otis is but Chester will be in
July)!

Susan M
Otis and Chester

[Karen]

On 2006-07-01 23:34:18 -0500, "Susan M" > said:

> A post from Fil a while ago got me thinking about welcoming Chester
> into the family and it occured to me that I hadn't actually formally
> welcomed him. It's been more of a
> pay-attention-to-Chester-thing-when-Otis-isn't-looking. ... but I
> hadn't really realized that I was doing that. Otis is too possessive
> and I haven't wanted to get Chester in trouble.
>
> Well, once I realized what I've done FOR ALMOST 10 YEARS, I talked to
> Chester and formally welcomed him as a fully functioning member of the
> family, with all related priviledges.
>
> It actually has made a difference. He sleeps on the bed all the time
> and will come up and curl beside me. I can call to him when Otis is in
> the room and Chester can come for love without getting run off by Otis.
> I think my subtle body language change has given a message to darling
> Otis that Chester has rights too - and that I don't love him any less
> when I pay attention to Chester. Chester has always been loved and
> pampered and treated like royalty but there was just a subconscious
> difference in the way I treated the two of them. I delighted to say
> that Chester has really grown into the role beautifully. He's still a
> cat that seems to prefer some quiet time on his own every day (Otis
> prefers constant companionship) but he's also unashamed about asking
> for love in front of his brother.
>
> I can't believe that they're 10 years old (Otis is but Chester will be
> in July)!
>
> Susan M
> Otis and Chester

They really do pick up on what we feel. I'm glad you have got new
dynamic going!

[Monique Y. Mudama]

On 2006-07-02, Susan M penned:
>
> Well, once I realized what I've done FOR ALMOST 10 YEARS, I talked
> to Chester and formally welcomed him as a fully functioning member
> of the family, with all related priviledges.
>
> It actually has made a difference. He sleeps on the bed all the
> time and will come up and curl beside me. I can call to him when
> Otis is in the room and Chester can come for love without getting
> run off by Otis. I think my subtle body language change has given a
> message to darling Otis that Chester has rights too - and that I
> don't love him any less when I pay attention to Chester. Chester
> has always been loved and pampered and treated like royalty but
> there was just a subconscious difference in the way I treated the
> two of them. I delighted to say that Chester has really grown into
> the role beautifully. He's still a cat that seems to prefer some
> quiet time on his own every day (Otis prefers constant
> companionship) but he's also unashamed about asking for love in
> front of his brother.

Nice! This reminds me of the Covey Seven Habits book, which I've been
reading lately. There's a lot of talk about how, for example, a
parent can't bolster a child's confidence by saying the words if the
parent doesn't truly believe them. The parent needs to learn to see
the child differently, and then the right words and the right
behaviors will flow from that.

Of course, first you have to realize what's really going on in your
head. That's tough.

Congratulations!

--
monique, who spoils Oscar unmercifully

pictures: http://www.bounceswoosh.org/rpca

[Takayuki]

"Susan M" > wrote:
>I can't believe that they're 10 years old (Otis is but Chester will be in
>July)!

It sounds like it's Otis who's growing up. Chester sounds like he's
never changed! I'm not a big fan of Covey, but I agree that your
attitude had a good effect on him.

[polonca12000]

Susan M wrote:

> A post from Fil a while ago got me thinking about welcoming Chester into the
> family and it occured to me that I hadn't actually formally welcomed him.
> It's been more of a pay-attention-to-Chester-thing-when-Otis-isn't-looking.
> ... but I hadn't really realized that I was doing that. Otis is too
> possessive and I haven't wanted to get Chester in trouble.
>
> Well, once I realized what I've done FOR ALMOST 10 YEARS, I talked to
> Chester and formally welcomed him as a fully functioning member of the
> family, with all related priviledges.
>
> It actually has made a difference. He sleeps on the bed all the time and
> will come up and curl beside me. I can call to him when Otis is in the room
> and Chester can come for love without getting run off by Otis. I think my
> subtle body language change has given a message to darling Otis that Chester
> has rights too - and that I don't love him any less when I pay attention to
> Chester. Chester has always been loved and pampered and treated like
> royalty but there was just a subconscious difference in the way I treated
> the two of them. I delighted to say that Chester has really grown into the
> role beautifully. He's still a cat that seems to prefer some quiet time on
> his own every day (Otis prefers constant companionship) but he's also
> unashamed about asking for love in front of his brother.
>
> I can't believe that they're 10 years old (Otis is but Chester will be in
> July)!
>
> Susan M
> Otis and Chester
>
>
What a great progress you've made, that's wonderful!
Best wishes,
Polonca and Soncek