Re: question re: potential for adopting - longish

[OU812?]

Rather than a kitten, perhaps you would be better off adopting a neutered
male around her age for her to be friends with. He would quite likely be
happy to play roughly with her, and isn't likely to make her as jealous as
another female cat might.

Kristy

Denise Van Dyke wrote:
> I have a question for those of you who do rescues and fostering. I
> know that there are cats that just need to be “only cats”, but how do
> you determine which those are? Brenna is a 3 year-old, neutered,
> indoor-only female cat. I adopted her from the humane society shelter
> when she was 7-8 weeks old. I would like to adopt another cat, but
> I’m not sure how she will respond. Is there a way to see if she is
> likely to accept another cat in the household, other than adopting
> one and having to surrender it if she just won’t accept it? (I would
> hate to do that, especially given the amount of time that a good
> introduction really needs. I would be so attached to them both by
> that time it’d be hard to surrender the new one.) Here is some
> background that might help. She has interacted with neighborhood cats
> through the window or screen door, but never directly. She acts
> playful and friendly with them, with a couple specific exceptions,
> but I’m not sure how much of that is due to her feeling safe because
> of the barrier between them. Also, she’s extremely possessive of my
> attention and probably the most high-strung cat I’ve ever met. Even
> if I’m simply on the phone, she is almost aggressive about regaining
> my attention. This has improved as she’s matured, but she’s still
> very possessive. I’m not sure if she’ll share well with another. In
> addition, she has a hive-like reaction to stress. Her natural
> personality is “always on” in that her eyes are normally at least 50%
> dilated, she jumps every single time the washing machine goes into
> spin cycle (even after 3 years with the same machine!), and even
> rearranging the furniture can trigger a hive-like reaction. I’m
> currently using a Feliway diffuser to help take the edge off her
> usual tension, and it helps a little. I’m also using Rescue Remedy,
> but it doesn’t seem to do anything I can discern. When she has a
> ‘breakout’ I take her to the vet for a steroid shot, and that clears
> it up. However, for her long term health, I’m trying to keep those to
> a minimum as long as possible. On top of it all, she is a rough
> player. I think that she would benefit from having another cat to
> wrestle with and chase. But is it too late? Am I doomed to suffer
> from Kitten Fever with no chance of adopting a “cure” for the rest of
> Brenna’s life?
>
> - Denise

--
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight,
because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.

[Dan Mahoney]

On Thu, 14 Aug 2003 15:43:20 -0300, "OU812?"
> wrote:

>Rather than a kitten, perhaps you would be better off adopting a neutered
>male around her age for her to be friends with. He would quite likely be
>happy to play roughly with her, and isn't likely to make her as jealous as
>another female cat might.

That sounds like sound advice to me. Along with the usual stuff - have
someone other than a family member bring the other cat into the house
and try to arrange for Brenna to *see* that it's someone other than
you introducing the new cat. And maybe brush the other cat with
Brenna's brush before bringing the other cat in, or rub the other cat
thoroughly with a towel or item of clothing that Brenna has been
sleeping on a lot, to try to impart some of her own smell onto the
other cat.

And be really sure to give her lots of extra attention in the first
few weeks after the new cat arrives to be sure she doesn't get
jealous.

Here's a question for the group - would it be wise to talk tot he vet
about possibly putting her on antidepressants for a short time before
the introduction, or would the use of a prescription for other than
medical necessity be unnecessarily risky?

Dan

[EvelynVogtGamble(Divamanque)]

OU812? wrote:
>
> Rather than a kitten, perhaps you would be better off adopting a neutered
> male around her age for her to be friends with. He would quite likely be
> happy to play roughly with her, and isn't likely to make her as jealous as
> another female cat might.

On the other hand, I've read that a kitten of the opposite sex is the
best choice. I can't prove it, although Melisande (female kitten) and
Patches (mature neutered male) didn't seem to experience much difficulty
in bonding. Of course, at that time I had a pet door, so Patches could
escape unwanted attentions if he chose (Melisande hadn't yet discovered
it, or its use). He growled and hissed a bit, at first, but that was
largely because Melly took one look and fell in love. The minute he'd
appear, she'd be all over him with affectionate embraces and grooming
attempts. (You never SAW such disgusted looks on a cat's face!)
However, he never attacked her, and he weighed nearly twenty pounds, so
was well able to defend himself if her attentions had REALLY been
unwanted. He adapted within a short time, and they played together
amicably for five years or so. (I'm sure Melly misses him, but she
seems to have transferred her excess affection to me, and appears to be
adjusting well to his absence.)

[Sherry]

Hi Denise,
From my experience, there are really very few cats who absolutely require being
the "only cat." Many are slow to accept the interloper, but eventually do. At
worst, they'll eventually just tolerate each other; best scenario, they'll
become real buddies. The few who absolutely will not accept another cat will
generally start showing their displeasure by urinating inappropriately,
becoming very aggressive. There are advantages to adopting an older cat, but
truthfullly I've had more luck integrating kittens. There is less territorial
stuff, and kittens just have a way of rolling over on their backs and saying
"Don't kill me, look how cute I am" and I swear the older cat responds to that.
This hinges a lot also on how active and playful your cat still is. A kitten
can really make an older cat more active, almost like they go through a second
kittenhood (once they've accepted each other of course.) But most importantly,
it only works if the introductions are right and very slow. But I'm sure you
already know all about that. Best of luck. I say go for it.

Sherry

[Denise VanDyke]

Thanks for the advice, everyone. At the moment I'm leaning towards just
letting her be happy as an only cat. However, if we can get this stress
thing under better control, I might reconsider next spring. At TED
office yesterday, we had an interesting experience. Brenna saw her
first kittens since she was one. They were a couple of foundlings in a
largish cage in the waiting room. I set Brenna's carrier down where she
was a couple of feet away but could watch them play. I thought that she
would enjoy watching them, as she seems to enjoy watching the
neighborhood cats at home. Instead she cowered in the back of her
carrier with huge eyes. I think she couldn't quite figure out what they
were! TED joked about me needing a couple of kittens. Then realized
that Brenna just doesn't need more stress right now and took it back.
They were awfully cute, though...

- Denise (tempted but resisting for Her Highness' sake)

[Sherry]

>Thanks for the advice, everyone. At the moment I'm leaning towards just
>letting her be happy as an only cat. However, if we can get this stress
>thing under better control, I might reconsider next spring. At TED
>office yesterday, we had an interesting experience. Brenna saw her
>first kittens since she was one. They were a couple of foundlings in a
>largish cage in the waiting room. I set Brenna's carrier down where she
>was a couple of feet away but could watch them play. I thought that she
>would enjoy watching them, as she seems to enjoy watching the
>neighborhood cats at home. Instead she cowered in the back of her
>carrier with huge eyes. I think she couldn't quite figure out what they
>were! TED joked about me needing a couple of kittens. Then realized
>that Brenna just doesn't need more stress right now and took it back.
>They were awfully cute, though...
>
>- Denise (tempted but resisting for Her Highness' sake)
>
>
Good luck, Denise. I completely understand putting Brenna first. Yoda is the
reason I quit fostering. He just got too old and cranky to put up with the
nonsense anymore. :)

Sherry

[Tanada]

Denise VanDyke wrote:
>
> At TED
> office yesterday, we had an interesting experience. Brenna saw her
> first kittens since she was one. They were a couple of foundlings in a
> largish cage in the waiting room. I set Brenna's carrier down where she
> was a couple of feet away but could watch them play. I thought that she
> would enjoy watching them, as she seems to enjoy watching the
> neighborhood cats at home. Instead she cowered in the back of her
> carrier with huge eyes. I think she couldn't quite figure out what they
> were!
>
>


Poor Brenna, you just showed her that hoomins can shrink a superior
species. Miniature cats are proof that we are messing with the dominant
species. Berfert is terrified of miniature cats and hoomins, as he
KNOWS they are out to get him. Poor old paranoid alcoholic kitty.

Pam S. giggling in sympathy

[EvelynVogtGamble(Divamanque)]

Denise VanDyke wrote:
>
> Thanks for the advice, everyone. At the moment I'm leaning towards just
> letting her be happy as an only cat. However, if we can get this stress
> thing under better control, I might reconsider next spring. At TED
> office yesterday, we had an interesting experience. Brenna saw her
> first kittens since she was one. They were a couple of foundlings in a
> largish cage in the waiting room. I set Brenna's carrier down where she
> was a couple of feet away but could watch them play. I thought that she
> would enjoy watching them, as she seems to enjoy watching the
> neighborhood cats at home. Instead she cowered in the back of her
> carrier with huge eyes. I think she couldn't quite figure out what they
> were! TED joked about me needing a couple of kittens. Then realized
> that Brenna just doesn't need more stress right now and took it back.
> They were awfully cute, though...

I think you'd be wise to wait for a while, and not rush into an adoption
so soon after losing your other cat. I've been assuming I'd get another
cat after we'd had time to adjust to Patches' absence (and after I get
back from my December trip to Switzerland and Austria), but now I'm not
so sure. Melisande seems to be adapting to her "only cat" status quite
happily. A bit more affectionate, perhaps, but before, whenever she
jumped on my lap, Patches would promptly displace her - now she has me
all to herself. We'll see - somehow cats have a way of finding their
people, when the time is right.

>
> - Denise (tempted but resisting for Her Highness' sake)

[EvelynVogtGamble(Divamanque)]

Tanada wrote:
>
> Poor Brenna, you just showed her that hoomins can shrink a superior
> species. Miniature cats are proof that we are messing with the dominant
> species. Berfert is terrified of miniature cats and hoomins, as he
> KNOWS they are out to get him. Poor old paranoid alcoholic kitty.

Ummm...."alcoholic"????

[Tanada]

"EvelynVogtGamble(Divamanque)" wrote:
>
> Tanada wrote:
> >
> > Poor Brenna, you just showed her that hoomins can shrink a superior
> > species. Miniature cats are proof that we are messing with the dominant
> > species. Berfert is terrified of miniature cats and hoomins, as he
> > KNOWS they are out to get him. Poor old paranoid alcoholic kitty.
>
> Ummm...."alcoholic"????

Berfert is an alky. He used to drink just about any alcohol he could
get his little tongue into. We had to put him on the wagon several
times. For some reason, right after we moved here, he decided that as
much as he loves booze, he can't handle it. So he hangs out with the
boozers, but refuses drinks. He's also has a great pair of noids.

Pam S.

[Jette Goldie]

"Tanada" > wrote in message
...
> "EvelynVogtGamble(Divamanque)" wrote:
> >
> > Tanada wrote:
> > >
> > > Poor Brenna, you just showed her that hoomins can shrink a superior
> > > species. Miniature cats are proof that we are messing with the
dominant
> > > species. Berfert is terrified of miniature cats and hoomins, as he
> > > KNOWS they are out to get him. Poor old paranoid alcoholic kitty.
> >
> > Ummm...."alcoholic"????
>
> Berfert is an alky. He used to drink just about any alcohol he could
> get his little tongue into. We had to put him on the wagon several
> times. For some reason, right after we moved here, he decided that as
> much as he loves booze, he can't handle it. So he hangs out with the
> boozers, but refuses drinks. He's also has a great pair of noids.


I remember reading somewhere that cat's don't *normally*
like alcohol, but if stressed, they *can* become addicted to
its effects. I remember George (when he was a tiny kitten)
lapping up some liqueur out of my glass when my friend and
I were lying on the floor drinking (it was a girly night ) and
getting quite tipsy. After that he acted like a Wee Free
and used to give you the most arch glares if he smelled
alcohol on your breath or in your glass. (sniff - GLARE-
tail swish, walk off in high dudgeon)


--
Jette
"Work for Peace and remain Fiercely Loving" - Jim Byrnes

http://www.jette.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/

[Tanada]

Jette Goldie wrote:
>
>
> I remember reading somewhere that cat's don't *normally*
> like alcohol, but if stressed, they *can* become addicted to
> its effects. I remember George (when he was a tiny kitten)
> lapping up some liqueur out of my glass when my friend and
> I were lying on the floor drinking (it was a girly night ) and
> getting quite tipsy. After that he acted like a Wee Free
> and used to give you the most arch glares if he smelled
> alcohol on your breath or in your glass. (sniff - GLARE-
> tail swish, walk off in high dudgeon)
>
>

I dunno about other cats, or stress, but Berf has always been a sort of
oddball. Neither Rob or I drink booze and he had to get it from our
guests who bring their own or do without. I suspect it was the novelty
of it that attracted him, as it was rarely available in our house. We
now have a couple of our gamer friends who keep their beer stored here
and have a bottle or two while gaming. Since they started having a
drink or two on a weekly basis, Berf is no longer interested in beer.
Strange cat.

Pam S.

[Helen Miles]

One of the best ways I found of introducing fosters (and adopted cats)
with HRFL Tiger was to establish and area which was the original cats
exclusive territory - in this case my bedroom. As HRFL Tiger tolerated
the cat more and more, the cat was allowed more and more of a run in the
house. I also re-inforced Tigers alpha status - he was allowed to
discipline the "interloper" and get away with murder, the new cat wasn't
allowed to discipline Tiger apart from self defence. (If that makes
sense?). Of course...it completely backfired, and I made a tyranical
Alpha cat who is convinced he is God (Hence the name, His Royal Feline
Lordship Tiger) but it did get to the stage that all Tiger would do is
snill the new foster and say "oh anotherone - I'm the boss, have a nice
life".

Helen M


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