Dilemma, only marginally OT

[BfloPolska]

On the weekends I volunteer for the shelter that provided me with
three of my babies: Brandy, China-Doll, and Philip. I love the boss
and the new volunteer, but it seems of late I'm not given the
opportunity to volunteer anything except unpaid babysitting.

My position is rather a meet-and-greet, answer questions, take
applications thing. My chronic sciatica makes lifting cages and moving
heavy objects difficult. A few weeks ago, a new volunteer came on
board with her kindergarten-age child. Nice kid by and large. My
problem is that instead of helpinig cats get adopted out, I end up
being "gently encouraged" to accompany the child to the store's break
room, or left with her while Mama and Boss go to the grocery store or
run kittens for shots and testing. In the meantime, NV is doing all
the paperwork and all the greet-and-answer etc. I feel very useless to
the shelter and the cats right now, and increasingly feel as if unfair
advantage is being taken of me.

I am having a difficulty handling this because I don't want to upset
applecarts or step on toes. I also don't want to ruin my own position
in this small shelter. I don't want it ruined for me by someone who
wants a free weekend nanny either. I like the Mama very much, and I
like the kid, but I want to know that this is not in vain and I'm not
a useless schmuck to those cats. How would you deal?

Blessed be,
Baha

[tanadashoes]

"BfloPolska" > wrote in message
...
> On the weekends I volunteer for the shelter that provided me with
> three of my babies: Brandy, China-Doll, and Philip. I love the boss
> and the new volunteer, but it seems of late I'm not given the
> opportunity to volunteer anything except unpaid babysitting.
>
> My position is rather a meet-and-greet, answer questions, take
> applications thing. My chronic sciatica makes lifting cages and moving
> heavy objects difficult. A few weeks ago, a new volunteer came on
> board with her kindergarten-age child. Nice kid by and large. My
> problem is that instead of helpinig cats get adopted out, I end up
> being "gently encouraged" to accompany the child to the store's break
> room, or left with her while Mama and Boss go to the grocery store or
> run kittens for shots and testing. In the meantime, NV is doing all
> the paperwork and all the greet-and-answer etc. I feel very useless to
> the shelter and the cats right now, and increasingly feel as if unfair
> advantage is being taken of me.
>
> I am having a difficulty handling this because I don't want to upset
> applecarts or step on toes. I also don't want to ruin my own position
> in this small shelter. I don't want it ruined for me by someone who
> wants a free weekend nanny either. I like the Mama very much, and I
> like the kid, but I want to know that this is not in vain and I'm not
> a useless schmuck to those cats. How would you deal?
>

I think I'd have a frank and private talk with Boss. Now, being the bull in
the china shop type that I am. I'd probably ask if I was any use to the
group other than as an unpaid baby sitter. But then I'm sure that you can
find a better way to phrase it than that.

Pam S.

[BfloPolska]

On Jul 10, 3:34*pm, hopitus > wrote:

> I would not be in that predicament....I would be under guard for
> wanting to
> take home entire older cat population in the place...but we're all
> different
> and yu're much more goodnatured than I am.

If by "good-natured" you mean "wussy," I sheepishly concur.

> Short of not getting up from your desk to accompany "child" anywhere
> a solution I would do....how about vague comments about having been
> tested for HiNi or whatever swine flu is, and a big box of tissues on
> your
> desk, along with analgesic bottle...loud, not-to-be-trifled insistence
> that
> "child" be kept far away from analgesic bottle by mother by any means
> (refuse to aid yourself).

OOOOHHH that is nasty, especially since a couple of my buddies have
actually had--and recovered from--swine flu! It has been an impolite
guest in my hometown of late. But I see how such an excuse can be
effective. Seriously, if there were even the remotest chance I had the
ugly thing, I'd quarantine myself.

> Mama NV is taking over your job, think of it that way, and you are the
> incumbent worker, nonetheless nonpaid worker.

Mama has said numerous times she is not looking to step on my toes and
wants to work together. I still don't know if she's after my job or if
it's just about the convenience of having a dumping ground for the
kid. She is a good mother and tries to see to it that she takes care
of the child properly. In a fit of altruism I may say she is just
overwhelmed. In a fit of realism I will say she has a new beau and
this may be a big part of the problem. I don't know why she'd want the
job. I'm the equivalent of a Wal-Mart greeter, and it's because I have
prohibitions against the heavy lifting of cages and such.

> You are just as smart if not smarter than I am. I bet you can think up
> more assertive measures to deal with NV, who has no business bringing
> her brat to the shelter anyway.

I'm on the fence with that. She's not fundamentally a bad kid; she has
the occasional smart mouth, but what six-year-old doesn't? It's good
to give a child exposure to, and experience with, community service.
It won't hurt her and will teach her to be humane, how to deal well
with the public at large and contribute to a good work ethic. The
problem is that it is more playtime for her than anything, as she
brings her dolls and rides me to play house with her in the break room
(!) and I don't know why she isn't left with a trusted sitter or
family member.

Blessed be,
Baha

[jmcquown[_2_]]

"BfloPolska" > wrote in message
...
> On the weekends I volunteer for the shelter that provided me with
> three of my babies: Brandy, China-Doll, and Philip. I love the boss
> and the new volunteer, but it seems of late I'm not given the
> opportunity to volunteer anything except unpaid babysitting.
>
> My position is rather a meet-and-greet, answer questions, take
> applications thing. My chronic sciatica makes lifting cages and moving
> heavy objects difficult. A few weeks ago, a new volunteer came on
> board with her kindergarten-age child. Nice kid by and large. My
> problem is that instead of helpinig cats get adopted out, I end up
> being "gently encouraged" to accompany the child to the store's break
> room, or left with her while Mama and Boss go to the grocery store or
> run kittens for shots and testing. In the meantime, NV is doing all
> the paperwork and all the greet-and-answer etc. I feel very useless to
> the shelter and the cats right now, and increasingly feel as if unfair
> advantage is being taken of me.
>
> I am having a difficulty handling this because I don't want to upset
> applecarts or step on toes. I also don't want to ruin my own position
> in this small shelter. I don't want it ruined for me by someone who
> wants a free weekend nanny either. I like the Mama very much, and I
> like the kid, but I want to know that this is not in vain and I'm not
> a useless schmuck to those cats. How would you deal?
>
> Blessed be,
> Baha



I'm not nearly as polite as you. I'd have to say straight off, "I'm a
volunteer for the shelter, not a nanny for the shelter's other volunteer".

Jill

[Sherry]

On Jul 10, 1:47*pm, BfloPolska > wrote:
> On the weekends I volunteer for the shelter that provided me with
> three of my babies: Brandy, China-Doll, and Philip. I love the boss
> and the new volunteer, but it seems of late I'm not given the
> opportunity to volunteer anything except unpaid babysitting.
>
> My position is rather a meet-and-greet, answer questions, take
> applications thing. My chronic sciatica makes lifting cages and moving
> heavy objects difficult. A few weeks ago, a new volunteer came on
> board with her kindergarten-age child. Nice kid by and large. My
> problem is that instead of helpinig cats get adopted out, I end up
> being "gently encouraged" to accompany the child to the store's break
> room, or left with her while Mama and Boss go to the grocery store or
> run kittens for shots and testing. In the meantime, NV is doing all
> the paperwork and all the greet-and-answer etc. I feel very useless to
> the shelter and the cats right now, and increasingly feel as if unfair
> advantage is being taken of me.
>
> I am having a difficulty handling this because I don't want to upset
> applecarts or step on toes. I also don't want to ruin my own position
> in this small shelter. I don't want it ruined for me by someone who
> wants a free weekend nanny either. I like the Mama very much, and I
> like the kid, but I want to know that this is not in vain and I'm not
> a useless schmuck to those cats. How would you deal?
>
> Blessed be,
> Baha

Being on the board for a shelter for 10 years, I probably see things a
little
differently: what I see here is a big fat liability to the shelter.
The liability
policy we have prohibits any volunteers under the age of 16.
It's truly not safe to allow a kindergarten-age child to just hang
around
a shelter. Animals are unpredictable anyway (so are
kindergarteners!)..but
ESPECIALLY shelter animals are unpredictable.
But that wasn't your question. I think I'd have a very honest chat
with the shelter
manager and tell them exactly what you've written. It really shouldn't
offend
anyone.
Sherry

[Sherry]

On Jul 10, 1:47*pm, BfloPolska > wrote:
> On the weekends I volunteer for the shelter that provided me with
> three of my babies: Brandy, China-Doll, and Philip. I love the boss
> and the new volunteer, but it seems of late I'm not given the
> opportunity to volunteer anything except unpaid babysitting.
>
> My position is rather a meet-and-greet, answer questions, take
> applications thing. My chronic sciatica makes lifting cages and moving
> heavy objects difficult. A few weeks ago, a new volunteer came on
> board with her kindergarten-age child. Nice kid by and large. My
> problem is that instead of helpinig cats get adopted out, I end up
> being "gently encouraged" to accompany the child to the store's break
> room, or left with her while Mama and Boss go to the grocery store or
> run kittens for shots and testing. In the meantime, NV is doing all
> the paperwork and all the greet-and-answer etc. I feel very useless to
> the shelter and the cats right now, and increasingly feel as if unfair
> advantage is being taken of me.
>
> I am having a difficulty handling this because I don't want to upset
> applecarts or step on toes. I also don't want to ruin my own position
> in this small shelter. I don't want it ruined for me by someone who
> wants a free weekend nanny either. I like the Mama very much, and I
> like the kid, but I want to know that this is not in vain and I'm not
> a useless schmuck to those cats. How would you deal?
>
> Blessed be,
> Baha

Second thought: You are a valued volunteer, I am quite sure. They're
not going
to want to lose you. You're there because of your dedication to
helping the
animals. Not to babysit so that someone ELSE can do it. Please speak
up for yourself so that you don't become resentful or just get burned
out
with the volunteer position. The animals need you.

Sherry

[BfloPolska]

On Jul 10, 5:13*pm, hopitus > wrote:

> Sherry is right. The animals need you. And AH HA about the NV's new BF

Big red-flagged AH HA there. The shelter is actually not a free-
standing place like an SPCA facility. it is a network of foster-
volunteers, and on weekends a local pet store allows us space to show
the cats and hopefully get them adopted out. I adopted Brandy from
this place, and through my association with Brandy's foster-mama
Marilyn came to volunteer myself, and were willed two of Marilyn's
cats, China and Philip. NV is seeing an employee of said store: an
affable enough schmuck, and through him came to volunteer also. Or at
least doing so when not canoodling with Affable Schmuck.

I've tried even to get the kid involved, having her help me fill the
little temporary litters that we use while the cats are being shown,
etc, but she tends to treat it like a game--a sort of "make the litter
fall out of scoop[ as slowly as possible" thing-- and causes me to get
backlogged, not to mentioned exasperated. I didn't play with dolls
myself when I was her age, and being asked to take the kid to the
break room--and having the kid ask me repeatedly to push the baby
dolls in their little plastic trollers and change fake diapers--is
staring to numb the brains a bit. Am I being a jerk here??? I do not
dislike this little child, though I wish she'd do something other than
turn my volunteering time into Romper Room. I don't even really
dislike NV, though I'm ready to smack her upside the head for making
me nanny by default.

> you watch the kid, she takes advantage. Sorry about the swine flue
> solution
> (I do remember Buffalo has a bad outbreak) but to me, *that* was the
> *nice*
> fakeout!

I was not upset with you for the comment! Swine flu has become the
accepted excuse at my work for three day weekends now. One guy who
likes to hang out at Canadian wineries on his off time has had a good
case of pig flu every Monday for a month.

> you stick
> to your guns NO MATTER WHAT NV SAYS OR DOES as already I think she
> has unlimited chutzpah, Baha.

I will do my wimpy best. Appearances to the contrary, I dislike
conflict.

Blessed be,
Baha

[Jofirey]

"BfloPolska" > wrote in message
news:6ac4a66b-7f56-4dd0-

Mama has said numerous times she is not looking to step on my toes
and
wants to work together. I still don't know if she's after my job or
if
it's just about the convenience of having a dumping ground for the
kid. She is a good mother and tries to see to it that she takes care
of the child properly. In a fit of altruism I may say she is just
overwhelmed. In a fit of realism I will say she has a new beau and
this may be a big part of the problem. I don't know why she'd want
the
job. I'm the equivalent of a Wal-Mart greeter, and it's because I
have
prohibitions against the heavy lifting of cages and such.

-**************

That is very typical of someone who is in the habit of using other
people. Of course she is stepping on your toes and taking advantage
of you. And she knows it or she would never have said something
like that.

Remember, there is no rule that when you volunteer, you have to do
any crummy job someone feels like dumping on you. It is perfectly
acceptable to do something when you volunteer that makes you feel
good and that you enjoy doing. Working with the animals and
potential slaves does that for you. Impressed servitude as a child
care worker does not. No reason you should be doing something you
don't get a positive feeling out of (watching her kid) so that she
can avoid doing it herself and score points with the boyfriend at
the same time.

Jo

[MLB[_2_]]

tanadashoes wrote:
> "BfloPolska" > wrote in message
> ...
>> On the weekends I volunteer for the shelter that provided me with
>> three of my babies: Brandy, China-Doll, and Philip. I love the boss
>> and the new volunteer, but it seems of late I'm not given the
>> opportunity to volunteer anything except unpaid babysitting.
>>
>> My position is rather a meet-and-greet, answer questions, take
>> applications thing. My chronic sciatica makes lifting cages and moving
>> heavy objects difficult. A few weeks ago, a new volunteer came on
>> board with her kindergarten-age child. Nice kid by and large. My
>> problem is that instead of helpinig cats get adopted out, I end up
>> being "gently encouraged" to accompany the child to the store's break
>> room, or left with her while Mama and Boss go to the grocery store or
>> run kittens for shots and testing. In the meantime, NV is doing all
>> the paperwork and all the greet-and-answer etc. I feel very useless to
>> the shelter and the cats right now, and increasingly feel as if unfair
>> advantage is being taken of me.
>>
>> I am having a difficulty handling this because I don't want to upset
>> applecarts or step on toes. I also don't want to ruin my own position
>> in this small shelter. I don't want it ruined for me by someone who
>> wants a free weekend nanny either. I like the Mama very much, and I
>> like the kid, but I want to know that this is not in vain and I'm not
>> a useless schmuck to those cats. How would you deal?
>>
>
> I think I'd have a frank and private talk with Boss. Now, being the bull in
> the china shop type that I am. I'd probably ask if I was any use to the
> group other than as an unpaid baby sitter. But then I'm sure that you can
> find a better way to phrase it than that.
>
> Pam S.
>
>
We all have been told that "Honesty is the best policy". Rather than
make excuses tell whoever is in charge that you are volunteering to work
to help the animals -- not to take care of children.

Then stick to it! MLB

[Yowie]

"BfloPolska" > wrote in message

> On the weekends I volunteer for the shelter that provided me with
> three of my babies: Brandy, China-Doll, and Philip. I love the boss
> and the new volunteer, but it seems of late I'm not given the
> opportunity to volunteer anything except unpaid babysitting.
>
> My position is rather a meet-and-greet, answer questions, take
> applications thing. My chronic sciatica makes lifting cages and moving
> heavy objects difficult. A few weeks ago, a new volunteer came on
> board with her kindergarten-age child. Nice kid by and large. My
> problem is that instead of helpinig cats get adopted out, I end up
> being "gently encouraged" to accompany the child to the store's break
> room, or left with her while Mama and Boss go to the grocery store or
> run kittens for shots and testing. In the meantime, NV is doing all
> the paperwork and all the greet-and-answer etc. I feel very useless to
> the shelter and the cats right now, and increasingly feel as if unfair
> advantage is being taken of me.
>
> I am having a difficulty handling this because I don't want to upset
> applecarts or step on toes. I also don't want to ruin my own position
> in this small shelter. I don't want it ruined for me by someone who
> wants a free weekend nanny either. I like the Mama very much, and I
> like the kid, but I want to know that this is not in vain and I'm not
> a useless schmuck to those cats. How would you deal?

As a Mum of a young whelpling myself, its often tempting to let other people
deal with my kid on weekends. Some people really enjoy it. And sometimes
others leave their sproglets in my care too. it seems a reasonable exchange
of work.

However, the Yowlet is in the end my responsibility and I cannot *expect*
others to do the hard bits all the time. There's doing the odd favour and/or
enjoying the kid's company, and then there's *babysitting*. You know where
that line is, and don't let the Mama cross it.

Simply put: you are there to work. So be *busy* when you are lumbered with
the kid. Also make it very very clear that you will not be taking kid to the
potty or doing anything else that could in any cicrcusmtances be considered
in any possible way 'inappropriate'. You will not be left with the child
alone because you are not going to be accused of anything later. Those are
the *rules* at *work*.

You may also want to point out to your boss that having a child in a place
of work without the approprate insurance or licence put them in a dangerous
position, liability wise. If that kid gets hurt in any way, then the Mama
had a great case against the shelter. Its one thing to bring a kid into an
office for a few hours because the kid-care ahs fallen through, but it is
not appropriate to have a young child in a place of work all the time.

Yes, you are being used, and yes, you have been pushed out of your position.

Yowie
--
If you're paddling upstream in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many
pancakes can you fit in a doghouse? None, icecream doesn't have bones.

[Stormmmee]

part of the reason i don't have children is i don't like them, i would
probably say things like...what a good experience for it to see a cat get
shots, or going to the grocery store is a good way for it to learn math...
what a good mother you are to expose her to so many things rather than being
stuckn this office... or maybe find a different set of hours if that is
possible. Lee
"BfloPolska" > wrote in message
...
> On the weekends I volunteer for the shelter that provided me with
> three of my babies: Brandy, China-Doll, and Philip. I love the boss
> and the new volunteer, but it seems of late I'm not given the
> opportunity to volunteer anything except unpaid babysitting.
>
> My position is rather a meet-and-greet, answer questions, take
> applications thing. My chronic sciatica makes lifting cages and moving
> heavy objects difficult. A few weeks ago, a new volunteer came on
> board with her kindergarten-age child. Nice kid by and large. My
> problem is that instead of helpinig cats get adopted out, I end up
> being "gently encouraged" to accompany the child to the store's break
> room, or left with her while Mama and Boss go to the grocery store or
> run kittens for shots and testing. In the meantime, NV is doing all
> the paperwork and all the greet-and-answer etc. I feel very useless to
> the shelter and the cats right now, and increasingly feel as if unfair
> advantage is being taken of me.
>
> I am having a difficulty handling this because I don't want to upset
> applecarts or step on toes. I also don't want to ruin my own position
> in this small shelter. I don't want it ruined for me by someone who
> wants a free weekend nanny either. I like the Mama very much, and I
> like the kid, but I want to know that this is not in vain and I'm not
> a useless schmuck to those cats. How would you deal?
>
> Blessed be,
> Baha

[Stormmmee]

'doesn't want to take the job... come on liz, you have a shrink... totally
passive agressive and back stabbing... next time she says it i am afraid i
would have to say, ... if i were you i would be concerned about who is
getting close to your mothering duties, if a new man or whatever is making
her do these things no way can you say she is a good mother, i realize
adults have to have a life, but she made the kid its her job to care for it,
not yours, Lee
"BfloPolska" > wrote in message
...
On Jul 10, 3:34 pm, hopitus > wrote:

> I would not be in that predicament....I would be under guard for
> wanting to
> take home entire older cat population in the place...but we're all
> different
> and yu're much more goodnatured than I am.

If by "good-natured" you mean "wussy," I sheepishly concur.

> Short of not getting up from your desk to accompany "child" anywhere
> a solution I would do....how about vague comments about having been
> tested for HiNi or whatever swine flu is, and a big box of tissues on
> your
> desk, along with analgesic bottle...loud, not-to-be-trifled insistence
> that
> "child" be kept far away from analgesic bottle by mother by any means
> (refuse to aid yourself).

OOOOHHH that is nasty, especially since a couple of my buddies have
actually had--and recovered from--swine flu! It has been an impolite
guest in my hometown of late. But I see how such an excuse can be
effective. Seriously, if there were even the remotest chance I had the
ugly thing, I'd quarantine myself.

> Mama NV is taking over your job, think of it that way, and you are the
> incumbent worker, nonetheless nonpaid worker.

Mama has said numerous times she is not looking to step on my toes and
wants to work together. I still don't know if she's after my job or if
it's just about the convenience of having a dumping ground for the
kid. She is a good mother and tries to see to it that she takes care
of the child properly. In a fit of altruism I may say she is just
overwhelmed. In a fit of realism I will say she has a new beau and
this may be a big part of the problem. I don't know why she'd want the
job. I'm the equivalent of a Wal-Mart greeter, and it's because I have
prohibitions against the heavy lifting of cages and such.

> You are just as smart if not smarter than I am. I bet you can think up
> more assertive measures to deal with NV, who has no business bringing
> her brat to the shelter anyway.

I'm on the fence with that. She's not fundamentally a bad kid; she has
the occasional smart mouth, but what six-year-old doesn't? It's good
to give a child exposure to, and experience with, community service.
It won't hurt her and will teach her to be humane, how to deal well
with the public at large and contribute to a good work ethic. The
problem is that it is more playtime for her than anything, as she
brings her dolls and rides me to play house with her in the break room
(!) and I don't know why she isn't left with a trusted sitter or
family member.

Blessed be,
Baha

[Stormmmee]

or ask the shelter manager about liability ins because of the child, should
it get bitten? Lee
"Sherry" > wrote in message
...
On Jul 10, 1:47 pm, BfloPolska > wrote:
> On the weekends I volunteer for the shelter that provided me with
> three of my babies: Brandy, China-Doll, and Philip. I love the boss
> and the new volunteer, but it seems of late I'm not given the
> opportunity to volunteer anything except unpaid babysitting.
>
> My position is rather a meet-and-greet, answer questions, take
> applications thing. My chronic sciatica makes lifting cages and moving
> heavy objects difficult. A few weeks ago, a new volunteer came on
> board with her kindergarten-age child. Nice kid by and large. My
> problem is that instead of helpinig cats get adopted out, I end up
> being "gently encouraged" to accompany the child to the store's break
> room, or left with her while Mama and Boss go to the grocery store or
> run kittens for shots and testing. In the meantime, NV is doing all
> the paperwork and all the greet-and-answer etc. I feel very useless to
> the shelter and the cats right now, and increasingly feel as if unfair
> advantage is being taken of me.
>
> I am having a difficulty handling this because I don't want to upset
> applecarts or step on toes. I also don't want to ruin my own position
> in this small shelter. I don't want it ruined for me by someone who
> wants a free weekend nanny either. I like the Mama very much, and I
> like the kid, but I want to know that this is not in vain and I'm not
> a useless schmuck to those cats. How would you deal?
>
> Blessed be,
> Baha

Being on the board for a shelter for 10 years, I probably see things a
little
differently: what I see here is a big fat liability to the shelter.
The liability
policy we have prohibits any volunteers under the age of 16.
It's truly not safe to allow a kindergarten-age child to just hang
around
a shelter. Animals are unpredictable anyway (so are
kindergarteners!)..but
ESPECIALLY shelter animals are unpredictable.
But that wasn't your question. I think I'd have a very honest chat
with the shelter
manager and tell them exactly what you've written. It really shouldn't
offend
anyone.
Sherry

[Stormmmee]

another gambit might be "sorry i am not comfortable watching it due to the
liability if it gets hurt while in my care, Lee
"hopitus" > wrote in message
...
On Jul 10, 5:14 pm, BfloPolska > wrote:
> On Jul 10, 5:13 pm, hopitus > wrote:
>
> > Sherry is right. The animals need you. And AH HA about the NV's new BF
>
> Big red-flagged AH HA there. The shelter is actually not a free-
> standing place like an SPCA facility. it is a network of foster-
> volunteers, and on weekends a local pet store allows us space to show
> the cats and hopefully get them adopted out. I adopted Brandy from
> this place, and through my association with Brandy's foster-mama
> Marilyn came to volunteer myself, and were willed two of Marilyn's
> cats, China and Philip. NV is seeing an employee of said store: an
> affable enough schmuck, and through him came to volunteer also. Or at
> least doing so when not canoodling with Affable Schmuck.
>
> I've tried even to get the kid involved, having her help me fill the
> little temporary litters that we use while the cats are being shown,
> etc, but she tends to treat it like a game--a sort of "make the litter
> fall out of scoop[ as slowly as possible" thing-- and causes me to get
> backlogged, not to mentioned exasperated. I didn't play with dolls
> myself when I was her age, and being asked to take the kid to the
> break room--and having the kid ask me repeatedly to push the baby
> dolls in their little plastic trollers and change fake diapers--is
> staring to numb the brains a bit. Am I being a jerk here??? I do not
> dislike this little child, though I wish she'd do something other than
> turn my volunteering time into Romper Room. I don't even really
> dislike NV, though I'm ready to smack her upside the head for making
> me nanny by default.
>
> > you watch the kid, she takes advantage. Sorry about the swine flue
> > solution
> > (I do remember Buffalo has a bad outbreak) but to me, *that* was the
> > *nice*
> > fakeout!
>
> I was not upset with you for the comment! Swine flu has become the
> accepted excuse at my work for three day weekends now. One guy who
> likes to hang out at Canadian wineries on his off time has had a good
> case of pig flu every Monday for a month.
>
> > you stick
> > to your guns NO MATTER WHAT NV SAYS OR DOES as already I think she
> > has unlimited chutzpah, Baha.
>
> I will do my wimpy best. Appearances to the contrary, I dislike
> conflict.
>
> Blessed be,
> Baha

Don't mean to be harsh about this. Do the best you can and good luck.
FYI
Rocky Mountain tick (spotted) fever (which very few in your area may
know
about at all, LOL) is good for over two months or so of "faking out"
at work
for *any* reason. Unfortunately, only spread by ticks, but you could
pull that
off in a shelter where dogs are kept and come in and out....hee hee.
Read on"

http://www.dhpe.org/infect/rms.html

You have no reason on earth to want or like caring for the girl. Note
Sherry's caution
re liability of shelter re volunteer work. They need to land on NV the
mom about bringing
her Even if the "shelter" or "adoption cnter" is in a store, I would
think their public
liability policy would forbid children of lower ages to roam, work, or
"loiter" (legal for
"hang out" in a retail setting.. You have a good lever if BF actually
works there!

[BfloPolska]

On Jul 11, 5:11*am, "Stormmmee" > wrote:
> another gambit might be "sorry i am not comfortable watching it due to the
> liability if it gets hurt while in my care,

OY VAY now that is a good one!!!

I'm considering whether it might do some good to put in a discreet
call to management--or get a buddy to do it, as I've been told my
voice is distinctive--asking about the safety of Roaming Child in
store during Kitty Time. The kid will amuse herself doing pratfalls
despite the fact that I have told her a legion of times to knock it
off before she really hurts herself. Good God, why is mama not telling
her this! And am I a card-carrying wimp or just too nice? How do you
grow yourself a pair of cojones?

Blessed be,
Baha

[Adrian[_2_]]

BfloPolska wrote:
> On Jul 11, 5:11 am, "Stormmmee" > wrote:
>> another gambit might be "sorry i am not comfortable watching it due
>> to the liability if it gets hurt while in my care,
>
> OY VAY now that is a good one!!!
>
> I'm considering whether it might do some good to put in a discreet
> call to management--or get a buddy to do it, as I've been told my
> voice is distinctive--asking about the safety of Roaming Child in
> store during Kitty Time. The kid will amuse herself doing pratfalls
> despite the fact that I have told her a legion of times to knock it
> off before she really hurts herself. Good God, why is mama not telling
> her this! And am I a card-carrying wimp or just too nice? How do you
> grow yourself a pair of cojones?
>
> Blessed be,
> Baha

I think you're just too nice. :-)
--
Adrian (Owned by Snoopy, Bagheera & Shadow)
Cats leave pawprints on your heart
http://community.webshots.com/user/clowderuk

[Jofirey]

"BfloPolska" > wrote in message
...
On Jul 11, 5:11 am, "Stormmmee" > wrote:
> another gambit might be "sorry i am not comfortable watching it
> due to the
> liability if it gets hurt while in my care,

OY VAY now that is a good one!!!

I'm considering whether it might do some good to put in a discreet
call to management--or get a buddy to do it, as I've been told my
voice is distinctive--asking about the safety of Roaming Child in
store during Kitty Time. The kid will amuse herself doing pratfalls
despite the fact that I have told her a legion of times to knock it
off before she really hurts herself. Good God, why is mama not
telling
her this! And am I a card-carrying wimp or just too nice? How do you
grow yourself a pair of cojones?

Blessed be,
Baha


***************

You are 'too nice' as in too nice for your own good. But that isn't
a fault. We are each different and are the way we are for good
reasons. I'm not nearly nice enough and get flack for it, though it
does sometimes get the job done.

See, I'm not 'too nice.' I'd have already said something to the
effect that "I don't volunteer here to look after your child or
anyone else's". Which would have upset the Mama and likely a few
other people. The thing is, I wouldn't feel awful about saying
something like that, and I suspect you would.

You have to find a level that gets the message across without making
yourself feel worse in the process.

Jo

[[email protected]]

BfloPolska wrote:

> On Jul 11, 5:11?am, "Stormmmee" > wrote:
>> another gambit might be "sorry i am not comfortable watching it due to the
>> liability if it gets hurt while in my care,

> OY VAY now that is a good one!!!

> I'm considering whether it might do some good to put in a discreet
> call to management--or get a buddy to do it, as I've been told my
> voice is distinctive--asking about the safety of Roaming Child in
> store during Kitty Time. The kid will amuse herself doing pratfalls
> despite the fact that I have told her a legion of times to knock it
> off before she really hurts herself. Good God, why is mama not telling
> her this! And am I a card-carrying wimp or just too nice? How do you
> grow yourself a pair of cojones?

She might actually think you don't mind, if you've never said anything.
So maybe you could think about telling her that you don't want to be
a babysitter, as *information* rather than as a confrontation.

--
Joyce ^..^

To email me, remove the XXX from my user name.

[Mishi[_2_]]

wrote:
> BfloPolska wrote:
>
> > On Jul 11, 5:11?am, "Stormmmee" > wrote:
> >> another gambit might be "sorry i am not comfortable watching it due to the
> >> liability if it gets hurt while in my care,
>
> > OY VAY now that is a good one!!!
>
> > I'm considering whether it might do some good to put in a discreet
> > call to management--or get a buddy to do it, as I've been told my
> > voice is distinctive--asking about the safety of Roaming Child in
> > store during Kitty Time. The kid will amuse herself doing pratfalls
> > despite the fact that I have told her a legion of times to knock it
> > off before she really hurts herself. Good God, why is mama not telling
> > her this! And am I a card-carrying wimp or just too nice? How do you
> > grow yourself a pair of cojones?
>
> She might actually think you don't mind, if you've never said anything.
> So maybe you could think about telling her that you don't want to be
> a babysitter, as *information* rather than as a confrontation.
>

Hi Liz,

Next time she 'drops' the girl off, tell her "by the way, I charge 10.00
per hour to babysit, and by my calculations you owe me X (what ever you
come up with for hours.) It might make her rethink her using you as a
free babysitter.

Good Luck,
Mishi

[BfloPolska]

On Jul 11, 5:37*pm, wrote:

> She might actually think you don't mind, if you've never said anything.
> So maybe you could think about telling her that you don't want to be
> a babysitter, as *information* rather than as a confrontation.

This has been at the core of the problem, I think. Because of the very
public nature of the venue, my worry is causing a big to-do in front
of customers and staff, no matter now politely I may begin. If
anything goes beyond Quietly Civil it makes the shelter look bad and
the store. We've had complaints to management because Boss Lady asked
one guy to keep his large dog away from one of the cages. The cat
inside had a history of striking out at dogs and she didn't want
Rover's nose getting cut to ribbons. I got chewed out by the store
manager because I dared to take a pill with a sip of water from my own
little bottle, on the store grounds! Any other time I can come in with
anything except a beer, but on Volunteer Time we are allowed no food
or drinks on the floor. In short, I'm worried about anything that can
cause a customer to complain and get us into the crapper. A guy
complained that we were dog-haters after warning his mutt away from
that cat. I don't want some mouthy yenta saying they'd never adopt a
cat from a child-hater. I'm sure I'll come up with something, I'm not
a total shmendrick. I like that idea about presenting NV with accrued
charges!

Blessed be,
Baha

[Jofirey]

"BfloPolska" > wrote in message
...
On Jul 11, 5:37 pm, wrote:

> She might actually think you don't mind, if you've never said
> anything.
> So maybe you could think about telling her that you don't want to
> be
> a babysitter, as *information* rather than as a confrontation.

This has been at the core of the problem, I think. Because of the
very
public nature of the venue, my worry is causing a big to-do in front
of customers and staff, no matter now politely I may begin. If
anything goes beyond Quietly Civil it makes the shelter look bad and
the store. We've had complaints to management because Boss Lady
asked
one guy to keep his large dog away from one of the cages. The cat
inside had a history of striking out at dogs and she didn't want
Rover's nose getting cut to ribbons. I got chewed out by the store
manager because I dared to take a pill with a sip of water from my
own
little bottle, on the store grounds! Any other time I can come in
with
anything except a beer, but on Volunteer Time we are allowed no food
or drinks on the floor. In short, I'm worried about anything that
can
cause a customer to complain and get us into the crapper. A guy
complained that we were dog-haters after warning his mutt away from
that cat. I don't want some mouthy yenta saying they'd never adopt a
cat from a child-hater. I'm sure I'll come up with something, I'm
not
a total shmendrick. I like that idea about presenting NV with
accrued
charges!

Blessed be,
Baha

The "its not you, its me" routine usually works well to avoid
confrontation. Tell her, or everyone in general that you are very
uneasy when you have to watch out for other peoples children. That
it makes you extremely nervous, give you a headache, whatever. That
worrying about the precious little darling is just more than you can
cope with.

(Mama wants her to learn the value of volunteering, Mama can show
her how to help)

Remember the key word here was supposed to be volunteer, it isn't
the draft.

Jo

[Kajikit[_2_]]

On Fri, 10 Jul 2009 13:07:00 -0700 (PDT), BfloPolska
> wrote:

>On Jul 10, 3:34*pm, hopitus > wrote:

>> Mama NV is taking over your job, think of it that way, and you are the
>> incumbent worker, nonetheless nonpaid worker.
>
>Mama has said numerous times she is not looking to step on my toes and
>wants to work together. I still don't know if she's after my job or if
>it's just about the convenience of having a dumping ground for the
>kid. She is a good mother and tries to see to it that she takes care
>of the child properly. In a fit of altruism I may say she is just
>overwhelmed. In a fit of realism I will say she has a new beau and
>this may be a big part of the problem. I don't know why she'd want the
>job. I'm the equivalent of a Wal-Mart greeter, and it's because I have
>prohibitions against the heavy lifting of cages and such.
>
>> You are just as smart if not smarter than I am. I bet you can think up
>> more assertive measures to deal with NV, who has no business bringing
>> her brat to the shelter anyway.
>
>I'm on the fence with that. She's not fundamentally a bad kid; she has
>the occasional smart mouth, but what six-year-old doesn't? It's good
>to give a child exposure to, and experience with, community service.
>It won't hurt her and will teach her to be humane, how to deal well
>with the public at large and contribute to a good work ethic. The
>problem is that it is more playtime for her than anything, as she
>brings her dolls and rides me to play house with her in the break room
>(!) and I don't know why she isn't left with a trusted sitter or
>family member.
>
>Blessed be,
>Baha

I'm surprised they'd let her bring a six-year old to the shelter with
her on a regular basis in the first place. A kid that young in that
environment is a nuisance at best (because she doesn't have the
attention span to be a useful volunteer in any way), a distraction to
the people who are there to help/adopt the cats (because she's taking
time and energy away from the real job at hand), and a danger at worst
(because she's not old enough to understand what to do/not do and she
could easily let the wrong cat/s out etc.). I'd say that you need to
bring it up with whoever's in charge, not for your own sake, but for
the kid's safety...

[Sherry]

On Jul 12, 3:17*pm, Kajikit > wrote:
> On Fri, 10 Jul 2009 13:07:00 -0700 (PDT), BfloPolska
>
>
>
>
>
> > wrote:
> >On Jul 10, 3:34*pm, hopitus > wrote:
> >> Mama NV is taking over your job, think of it that way, and you are the
> >> incumbent worker, nonetheless nonpaid worker.
>
> >Mama has said numerous times she is not looking to step on my toes and
> >wants to work together. I still don't know if she's after my job or if
> >it's just about the convenience of having a dumping ground for the
> >kid. She is a good mother and tries to see to it that she takes care
> >of the child properly. In a fit of altruism I may say she is just
> >overwhelmed. In a fit of realism I will say she has a new beau and
> >this may be a big part of the problem. I don't know why she'd want the
> >job. I'm the equivalent of a Wal-Mart greeter, and it's because I have
> >prohibitions against the heavy lifting of cages and such.
>
> >> You are just as smart if not smarter than I am. I bet you can think up
> >> more assertive measures to deal with NV, who has no business bringing
> >> her brat to the shelter anyway.
>
> >I'm on the fence with that. She's not fundamentally a bad kid; she has
> >the occasional smart mouth, but what six-year-old doesn't? It's good
> >to give a child exposure to, and experience with, community service.
> >It won't hurt her and will teach her to be humane, how to deal well
> >with the public at large and contribute to a good work ethic. The
> >problem is that it is more playtime for her than anything, as she
> >brings her dolls and rides me to play house with her in the break room
> >(!) and I don't know why she isn't left with a trusted sitter or
> >family member.
>
> >Blessed be,
> >Baha
>
> I'm surprised they'd let her bring a six-year old to the shelter with
> her on a regular basis in the first place. A kid that young in that
> environment is a nuisance at best (because she doesn't have the
> attention span to be a useful volunteer in any way), a distraction to
> the people who are there to help/adopt the cats (because she's taking
> time and energy away from the real job at hand), and a danger at worst
> (because she's not old enough to understand what to do/not do and she
> could easily let the wrong cat/s out etc.). I'd say that you need to
> bring it up with whoever's in charge, not for your own sake, but for
> the kid's safety...- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

I totally agree with you.
Volunteer hierarchy is a bizarre thing. Some people get a little
authority and
then get so bossy they run off all the good volunteers.
Good volunteers need to be treated with kid gloves, and above all
else, be put
into a position they enjoy doing and receive heartfelt reminders of
how much
they are appreciated. No shelter can function without its volunteers.
Disagreements, whether about policy or a single animal, can escalate
into division,
and that'll hurt a good organization quicker than anything else.

Sherry

[Yowie]

"BfloPolska" > wrote in message

> On Jul 11, 5:37 pm, wrote:
>
>> She might actually think you don't mind, if you've never said
>> anything. So maybe you could think about telling her that you don't
>> want to be
>> a babysitter, as *information* rather than as a confrontation.
>
> This has been at the core of the problem, I think. Because of the very
> public nature of the venue, my worry is causing a big to-do in front
> of customers and staff, no matter now politely I may begin. If
> anything goes beyond Quietly Civil it makes the shelter look bad and
> the store. We've had complaints to management because Boss Lady asked
> one guy to keep his large dog away from one of the cages. The cat
> inside had a history of striking out at dogs and she didn't want
> Rover's nose getting cut to ribbons. I got chewed out by the store
> manager because I dared to take a pill with a sip of water from my own
> little bottle, on the store grounds! Any other time I can come in with
> anything except a beer, but on Volunteer Time we are allowed no food
> or drinks on the floor. In short, I'm worried about anything that can
> cause a customer to complain and get us into the crapper. A guy
> complained that we were dog-haters after warning his mutt away from
> that cat. I don't want some mouthy yenta saying they'd never adopt a
> cat from a child-hater. I'm sure I'll come up with something, I'm not
> a total shmendrick. I like that idea about presenting NV with accrued
> charges!

Totally OT to the discussion, but I love all the Yiddish in your posts. Its
funny how some languages have words to descibe perfectly things that English
just cannot get a concise grasp on - Yiddish in particular seems very good
at describing people.

Yowie
--
If you're paddling upstream in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many
pancakes can you fit in a doghouse? None, icecream doesn't have bones.

[[email protected]]

Yowie wrote:

> "BfloPolska" > wrote in message
>
>> On Jul 11, 5:37 pm, wrote:
>>
>>> She might actually think you don't mind, if you've never said
>>> anything. So maybe you could think about telling her that you don't
>>> want to be
>>> a babysitter, as *information* rather than as a confrontation.
>>
>> This has been at the core of the problem, I think. Because of the very
>> public nature of the venue, my worry is causing a big to-do in front
>> of customers and staff, no matter now politely I may begin. If
>> anything goes beyond Quietly Civil it makes the shelter look bad and
>> the store. We've had complaints to management because Boss Lady asked
>> one guy to keep his large dog away from one of the cages. The cat
>> inside had a history of striking out at dogs and she didn't want
>> Rover's nose getting cut to ribbons. I got chewed out by the store
>> manager because I dared to take a pill with a sip of water from my own
>> little bottle, on the store grounds! Any other time I can come in with
>> anything except a beer, but on Volunteer Time we are allowed no food
>> or drinks on the floor. In short, I'm worried about anything that can
>> cause a customer to complain and get us into the crapper. A guy
>> complained that we were dog-haters after warning his mutt away from
>> that cat. I don't want some mouthy yenta saying they'd never adopt a
>> cat from a child-hater. I'm sure I'll come up with something, I'm not
>> a total shmendrick. I like that idea about presenting NV with accrued
>> charges!

> Totally OT to the discussion, but I love all the Yiddish in your posts. Its
> funny how some languages have words to descibe perfectly things that English
> just cannot get a concise grasp on - Yiddish in particular seems very good
> at describing people.

Cracks me up, too. Baha isn't even Jewish, except maybe in an honorary
way. :)

--
Joyce ^..^

To email me, remove the XXX from my user name.

[Karla]

"BfloPolska" > wrote in message
...
> On the weekends I volunteer for the shelter that provided me with
> three of my babies: Brandy, China-Doll, and Philip. I love the boss
> and the new volunteer, but it seems of late I'm not given the
> opportunity to volunteer anything except unpaid babysitting.
>
> My position is rather a meet-and-greet, answer questions, take
> applications thing. My chronic sciatica makes lifting cages and moving
> heavy objects difficult. A few weeks ago, a new volunteer came on
> board with her kindergarten-age child. Nice kid by and large. My
> problem is that instead of helpinig cats get adopted out, I end up
> being "gently encouraged" to accompany the child to the store's break
> room, or left with her while Mama and Boss go to the grocery store or
> run kittens for shots and testing. In the meantime, NV is doing all
> the paperwork and all the greet-and-answer etc. I feel very useless to
> the shelter and the cats right now, and increasingly feel as if unfair
> advantage is being taken of me.
>
> I am having a difficulty handling this because I don't want to upset
> applecarts or step on toes. I also don't want to ruin my own position
> in this small shelter. I don't want it ruined for me by someone who
> wants a free weekend nanny either. I like the Mama very much, and I
> like the kid, but I want to know that this is not in vain and I'm not
> a useless schmuck to those cats. How would you deal?
>
> Blessed be,
> Baha

It's my guess that NV is a bit of a flake, and NV's romance is not written
in the stars. She'll most likely be gone soon, and you can shake your head
wearily, smile weakly, and not say a thing.
Karla

[Stormmee]

fake it until it is just what you do on the outside, doesn't matter if you
go and puke after the fact... I do it this way and unless you know me really
well you would never know that i puke regularily after any kind of
confrontation... the fact that she doesn't obey you is no shock, if the
mother is busy pushing it off on you she is at least neglectful if not
worse, and therefore obeying anyone isn't in this ones regular life... and
fact is if she does get hurt,... the woman will sue everyone in site if for
no other reason than to assauge her own gult... if she has any that is, if
there isn't any guilt she will see it as a quick money maker...

and try this for growing some...

if this upsets you, or ends up costing you in money or emotional stress, it
is your fur babies that get gypped, so get it stiff and stick up for
yourself, for the furkids and DH, Lee
"BfloPolska" > wrote in message
...
On Jul 11, 5:11 am, "Stormmmee" > wrote:
> another gambit might be "sorry i am not comfortable watching it due to the
> liability if it gets hurt while in my care,

OY VAY now that is a good one!!!

I'm considering whether it might do some good to put in a discreet
call to management--or get a buddy to do it, as I've been told my
voice is distinctive--asking about the safety of Roaming Child in
store during Kitty Time. The kid will amuse herself doing pratfalls
despite the fact that I have told her a legion of times to knock it
off before she really hurts herself. Good God, why is mama not telling
her this! And am I a card-carrying wimp or just too nice? How do you
grow yourself a pair of cojones?

Blessed be,
Baha

[Arthur Shapiro[_2_]]

In article >, "Stormmee" > wrote:

Is there any chance you could sell the little tax deduction and donate the
proceeds to the shelter?

Apparently folks pay good money, for reasons I've never fathomed, for these
things.

Art, always helpful

[MLB[_2_]]

hopitus wrote:
> On Jul 11, 11:42 am, "Jofirey" > wrote:
>> "BfloPolska" > wrote in message
>>
>> ...
>> On Jul 11, 5:11 am, "Stormmmee" > wrote:
>>
>>> another gambit might be "sorry i am not comfortable watching it
>>> due to the
>>> liability if it gets hurt while in my care,
>> OY VAY now that is a good one!!!
>>
>> I'm considering whether it might do some good to put in a discreet
>> call to management--or get a buddy to do it, as I've been told my
>> voice is distinctive--asking about the safety of Roaming Child in
>> store during Kitty Time. The kid will amuse herself doing pratfalls
>> despite the fact that I have told her a legion of times to knock it
>> off before she really hurts herself. Good God, why is mama not
>> telling
>> her this! And am I a card-carrying wimp or just too nice? How do you
>> grow yourself a pair of cojones?
>>
>> Blessed be,
>> Baha
>>
>> ***************
>>
>> You are 'too nice' as in too nice for your own good. But that isn't
>> a fault. We are each different and are the way we are for good
>> reasons. I'm not nearly nice enough and get flack for it, though it
>> does sometimes get the job done.
>>
>> See, I'm not 'too nice.' I'd have already said something to the
>> effect that "I don't volunteer here to look after your child or
>> anyone else's". Which would have upset the Mama and likely a few
>> other people. The thing is, I wouldn't feel awful about saying
>> something like that, and I suspect you would.
>>
>> You have to find a level that gets the message across without making
>> yourself feel worse in the process.
>>
>> Jo
>
> Have to keep reminding myself that the remedies I've been thinking up
> for NV would not do at all for Baha, simply because of what you say.
> What
> I would not turn a hair at pulling off is far beyond RL action of our
> gentle
> cat friend in Buffalo. Also, my work environment was so different from
> hers.
> You simply can't give a coworker the xray exam you are told to do.
> The
> one time I got away with doing that was when my sup finished the spine
> series I was doing while I had an M.I. and was "statted" to the ER Our
> life experiences leave us strikingly different individuals, even
> though the
> bad things we lived through were similar. I have hopes that Baha will
> come
> to a solution of her own that will lead to improved conditions.



A quick way would be to resign (for health reasons) and come back later
when "things" have improved.

Old saying: If you make yourself a door mat you will get walked on.
MLB

[Stormmee]

you know this might work,if you weren't there for a few weekends running the
next person she put the spawn on to watch might not take to it, so she would
either quit bringin it or quit or be told not to return, I like this idea
best, next to just kicking the mother in the head that is, Lee
"MLB" > wrote in message
...
> hopitus wrote:
>> On Jul 11, 11:42 am, "Jofirey" > wrote:
>>> "BfloPolska" > wrote in message
>>>
>>> ...
>>> On Jul 11, 5:11 am, "Stormmmee" > wrote:
>>>
>>>> another gambit might be "sorry i am not comfortable watching it
>>>> due to the
>>>> liability if it gets hurt while in my care,
>>> OY VAY now that is a good one!!!
>>>
>>> I'm considering whether it might do some good to put in a discreet
>>> call to management--or get a buddy to do it, as I've been told my
>>> voice is distinctive--asking about the safety of Roaming Child in
>>> store during Kitty Time. The kid will amuse herself doing pratfalls
>>> despite the fact that I have told her a legion of times to knock it
>>> off before she really hurts herself. Good God, why is mama not
>>> telling
>>> her this! And am I a card-carrying wimp or just too nice? How do you
>>> grow yourself a pair of cojones?
>>>
>>> Blessed be,
>>> Baha
>>>
>>> ***************
>>>
>>> You are 'too nice' as in too nice for your own good. But that isn't
>>> a fault. We are each different and are the way we are for good
>>> reasons. I'm not nearly nice enough and get flack for it, though it
>>> does sometimes get the job done.
>>>
>>> See, I'm not 'too nice.' I'd have already said something to the
>>> effect that "I don't volunteer here to look after your child or
>>> anyone else's". Which would have upset the Mama and likely a few
>>> other people. The thing is, I wouldn't feel awful about saying
>>> something like that, and I suspect you would.
>>>
>>> You have to find a level that gets the message across without making
>>> yourself feel worse in the process.
>>>
>>> Jo
>>
>> Have to keep reminding myself that the remedies I've been thinking up
>> for NV would not do at all for Baha, simply because of what you say.
>> What
>> I would not turn a hair at pulling off is far beyond RL action of our
>> gentle
>> cat friend in Buffalo. Also, my work environment was so different from
>> hers.
>> You simply can't give a coworker the xray exam you are told to do.
>> The
>> one time I got away with doing that was when my sup finished the spine
>> series I was doing while I had an M.I. and was "statted" to the ER Our
>> life experiences leave us strikingly different individuals, even
>> though the
>> bad things we lived through were similar. I have hopes that Baha will
>> come
>> to a solution of her own that will lead to improved conditions.
>
>
>
> A quick way would be to resign (for health reasons) and come back later
> when "things" have improved.
>
> Old saying: If you make yourself a door mat you will get walked on.
> MLB

[Stormmee]

one of the benifits of having more male friends than women friends, i could
never abide discusssions about the latest nail color, but lets talk some
base ball or track handicaps and i'm in, and in order to survive that place,
"one of the guys" as a woman you have to learn not to blush when they get
"more than frank", Lee
"hopitus" > wrote in message
...
On Jul 13, 10:46 am, MLB > wrote:
> hopitus wrote:
> > On Jul 11, 11:42 am, "Jofirey" > wrote:
> >> "BfloPolska" > wrote in message
>
> ...
> >> On Jul 11, 5:11 am, "Stormmmee" > wrote:
>
> >>> another gambit might be "sorry i am not comfortable watching it
> >>> due to the
> >>> liability if it gets hurt while in my care,
> >> OY VAY now that is a good one!!!
>
> >> I'm considering whether it might do some good to put in a discreet
> >> call to management--or get a buddy to do it, as I've been told my
> >> voice is distinctive--asking about the safety of Roaming Child in
> >> store during Kitty Time. The kid will amuse herself doing pratfalls
> >> despite the fact that I have told her a legion of times to knock it
> >> off before she really hurts herself. Good God, why is mama not
> >> telling
> >> her this! And am I a card-carrying wimp or just too nice? How do you
> >> grow yourself a pair of cojones?
>
> >> Blessed be,
> >> Baha
>
> >> ***************
>
> >> You are 'too nice' as in too nice for your own good. But that isn't
> >> a fault. We are each different and are the way we are for good
> >> reasons. I'm not nearly nice enough and get flack for it, though it
> >> does sometimes get the job done.
>
> >> See, I'm not 'too nice.' I'd have already said something to the
> >> effect that "I don't volunteer here to look after your child or
> >> anyone else's". Which would have upset the Mama and likely a few
> >> other people. The thing is, I wouldn't feel awful about saying
> >> something like that, and I suspect you would.
>
> >> You have to find a level that gets the message across without making
> >> yourself feel worse in the process.
>
> >> Jo
>
> > Have to keep reminding myself that the remedies I've been thinking up
> > for NV would not do at all for Baha, simply because of what you say.
> > What
> > I would not turn a hair at pulling off is far beyond RL action of our
> > gentle
> > cat friend in Buffalo. Also, my work environment was so different from
> > hers.
> > You simply can't give a coworker the xray exam you are told to do.
> > The
> > one time I got away with doing that was when my sup finished the spine
> > series I was doing while I had an M.I. and was "statted" to the ER Our
> > life experiences leave us strikingly different individuals, even
> > though the
> > bad things we lived through were similar. I have hopes that Baha will
> > come
> > to a solution of her own that will lead to improved conditions.
>
> A quick way would be to resign (for health reasons) and come back later
> when "things" have improved.
>
> Old saying: If you make yourself a door mat you will get walked on.
> MLB

Oy gevalt! That's a good one but you, MLB, are a lady and I am all
informed
by Lee, our friend in IL, as to a new street slang, IL-based (Chicago,
perhaps)
"get it stiff"? Can't wait to lay that one on the locals here. They
will just think
it is some more east coast snarkiness. It will get a better reception
in south FL.
Hard to trash mouth people if they have no clue, as in here.

[Granby]

Yes, and when people TRY and sue and eventually lose the deal, they can
still have cost you big bucks where lawyers are concerned to defend
yourself. If people continue to watch this kid, when the Mom can say "but
someone has always done it and said nothing". That might cost people in the
long run.
"Stormmee" > wrote in message
...
> fake it until it is just what you do on the outside, doesn't matter if you
> go and puke after the fact... I do it this way and unless you know me
> really well you would never know that i puke regularily after any kind of
> confrontation... the fact that she doesn't obey you is no shock, if the
> mother is busy pushing it off on you she is at least neglectful if not
> worse, and therefore obeying anyone isn't in this ones regular life... and
> fact is if she does get hurt,... the woman will sue everyone in site if
> for no other reason than to assauge her own gult... if she has any that
> is, if there isn't any guilt she will see it as a quick money maker...
>
> and try this for growing some...
>
> if this upsets you, or ends up costing you in money or emotional stress,
> it is your fur babies that get gypped, so get it stiff and stick up for
> yourself, for the furkids and DH, Lee
> "BfloPolska" > wrote in message
> ...
> On Jul 11, 5:11 am, "Stormmmee" > wrote:
>> another gambit might be "sorry i am not comfortable watching it due to
>> the
>> liability if it gets hurt while in my care,
>
> OY VAY now that is a good one!!!
>
> I'm considering whether it might do some good to put in a discreet
> call to management--or get a buddy to do it, as I've been told my
> voice is distinctive--asking about the safety of Roaming Child in
> store during Kitty Time. The kid will amuse herself doing pratfalls
> despite the fact that I have told her a legion of times to knock it
> off before she really hurts herself. Good God, why is mama not telling
> her this! And am I a card-carrying wimp or just too nice? How do you
> grow yourself a pair of cojones?
>
> Blessed be,
> Baha
>
>

[Jofirey]

"Granby" > wrote in message
...
> Yes, and when people TRY and sue and eventually lose the deal,
> they can still have cost you big bucks where lawyers are concerned
> to defend yourself. If people continue to watch this kid, when
> the Mom can say "but someone has always done it and said nothing".
> That might cost people in the long run.

The part that showed me what incredible gall this woman has, she
actually left the store and left Liz in charge of her daughter while
she and her BF were running errands.

That sounds an awful lot like child abandonment to me.

I don't want to hear about what a good mother she is.

Jo

[Stormmee]

see that what i get for trying to be tactful...neglectful if not worse... i
totally agree with this, Lee
"Jofirey" > wrote in message
...
>
> "Granby" > wrote in message
> ...
>> Yes, and when people TRY and sue and eventually lose the deal, they can
>> still have cost you big bucks where lawyers are concerned to defend
>> yourself. If people continue to watch this kid, when the Mom can say
>> "but someone has always done it and said nothing". That might cost people
>> in the long run.
>
> The part that showed me what incredible gall this woman has, she actually
> left the store and left Liz in charge of her daughter while she and her BF
> were running errands.
>
> That sounds an awful lot like child abandonment to me.
>
> I don't want to hear about what a good mother she is.
>
> Jo

[BfloPolska]

On Jul 14, 1:12*am, "Jofirey" > wrote:

> The part that showed me what incredible gall this woman has, she
> actually left the store and left Liz in charge of her daughter while
> she and her BF were running errands.
>
> That sounds an awful lot like child abandonment to me.
>
> I don't want to hear about what a good mother she is.

I hereby take back anything polite I said about NV.

She was not in to volunteer on Sunday, but did come in with her child,
to meet Affable Schmuck for lunch. The child looked sick and droopy,
and was flushed. NV said she'd been having a running fever for 3 days
and all the signs and symptoms of flu. She didn't ask me to watch the
kid, for which I am grateful.

If I end up hosting any pathogen, linked to any creature which can end
up on my dinner plate, I am going to really lose it.

Blessed be,
Baha

[pat Chlebowski]

How did this turnout in the end????

[BfloPolska]

On Jul 19, 2:52*pm, (pat Chlebowski) wrote:
> How *did this turnout in the end????

The final chapter is not yet drafted; I was not the victim of child-
dumping this weekend; Shelter Boss knows I am displeased with the turn
of events in recent weeks, and she has been made aware of the child-
dumping and the fact that Affable Schmuck tried to get me to give him
my bank information to supposedly have a relative wire him cash from
out of town. This happened before he began seeing NV. (I told AS that
I was on ChexSystems, big fat lie, but it shut him up about trying to
screw me.) I also told Shelter Boss that I assume no liability for the
child and refuse any further responsibility. I did have to scold child
yesterday because she began whacking me with her comb and refused to
stop. The look on the child's face told me that she does not receive
regular discipline. NV and AS broke up.

After discussing with Louie and certain law experts, our course of
action in future will be to let NV know that any further attempts to
dump child will result in a complaint of abandonment, which will
threaten NV's chance at citizenship. She is a legal US resident with a
green card and is going for citizenship next year. I also don't trust
Affable Schmuck as far as I can throw him, and am considering speaking
to his manager about the bank thing.

Blessed be,.
Baha

[Adrian[_2_]]

BfloPolska wrote:
<snip>
> I also don't trust
> Affable Schmuck as far as I can throw him, and am considering speaking
> to his manager about the bank thing.
>
> Blessed be,.
> Baha

I think you should report it, if he tried it on with you he could try with
someone else who not be as sensible as you.
--
Adrian (Owned by Snoopy, Bagheera & Shadow)
Cats leave pawprints on your heart
http://community.webshots.com/user/clowderuk

[[email protected][_2_]]

On Jul 20, 9:21*am, BfloPolska > wrote:
*Affable Schmuck tried to get me to give him
> my bank information to supposedly have a relative wire him cash from
> out of town.

What? Yeah like he doesn't have a bank account! Or they can't do
that what's that money transfer system? I have 1/2 a dozen shops
locally that do it- the relative pays the cash over at one point and
fills in a form with some ID details or a question that only the
recipient would know then lets the recipient know where to collect the
money fromwhilst the shop faxes the form to the other end- recipient
goes in- answers question produces ID etc and the shop pays the cash
out- Western Union is that it? One of our local stores does it and
you often see the manager checking off the form then handing over the
cash or people handing cash over to be sent. We have a sizeable
Polish population around here and sometimes there's even a queue to
send money home by that method

.. I also don't trust
> Affable Schmuck as far as I can throw him, and am considering speaking
> to his manager about the bank thing.
>

Don't consider it- do it!


Lesley

Slave of the Fabulous Furballs

[Stormmee]

and you now know how to get it stiff and stand up for yourself, I am very
proud of you!!!! Lee
"BfloPolska" > wrote in message
...
On Jul 19, 2:52 pm, (pat Chlebowski) wrote:
> How did this turnout in the end????

The final chapter is not yet drafted; I was not the victim of child-
dumping this weekend; Shelter Boss knows I am displeased with the turn
of events in recent weeks, and she has been made aware of the child-
dumping and the fact that Affable Schmuck tried to get me to give him
my bank information to supposedly have a relative wire him cash from
out of town. This happened before he began seeing NV. (I told AS that
I was on ChexSystems, big fat lie, but it shut him up about trying to
screw me.) I also told Shelter Boss that I assume no liability for the
child and refuse any further responsibility. I did have to scold child
yesterday because she began whacking me with her comb and refused to
stop. The look on the child's face told me that she does not receive
regular discipline. NV and AS broke up.

After discussing with Louie and certain law experts, our course of
action in future will be to let NV know that any further attempts to
dump child will result in a complaint of abandonment, which will
threaten NV's chance at citizenship. She is a legal US resident with a
green card and is going for citizenship next year. I also don't trust
Affable Schmuck as far as I can throw him, and am considering speaking
to his manager about the bank thing.

Blessed be,.
Baha

[BfloPolska]

On Jul 20, 2:13*pm, wrote:
> On Jul 20, 9:21*am, BfloPolska > wrote:
> **Affable Schmuck tried to get me to give him
>
> > my bank information to supposedly have a relative wire him cash from
> > out of town.
>
> What? *Yeah like he doesn't have a bank account! *Or they can't do
> that what's that money transfer system? *I have 1/2 a dozen shops
> locally that do it- the relative pays the cash over at one point and
> fills in a form with some ID details or a question that only the
> recipient would know then lets the recipient know where to collect the
> money fromwhilst the shop faxes the form to the other end- recipient
> goes in- answers question produces ID etc and the shop pays the cash
> out- Western Union is that it? *

Western Union or its competitor MoneyGram. They are so prominent in
our supermarkets, department stores, even little ma-and-pa smoke-and-
beer shops on city corners that their presence is kind of laughable.
Schmuckmeister made like he didn't know what Western Union is! Neither
Western Union nor MoneyGram require a bank account. You can do bank-to-
bank wires (I was in the wire transfer division of Citicorp for many
years, before their move overseas) but they're more expensive and take
longer than a Western Union transfer. Affable Scmuck was going on and
on a few weeks ago about how he really DJ's and makes a pot of cash
doing production, house-music etc. If that's the case, I said, why are
you working at a PetSmart for its miserable wage? While he hemmed and
hawed I muttered the malarkey about ChexSystems and that pretty well
ended that mishegoss.

ChexSystems is the penalty box for people who screw up their bank
accounts. If a person overdrafts, doesn't pay the fees, and lets the
account close, the bank places them on the ChexSystems database, and
the person can't open accounts and in some places can't even get a
check-cashing card at a major supermarket. One can stay on the
database up to seven years, and it is very hard to get off once the
bad fees are paid in full. this happened to me many years ago, and it
took almost two years and several signed papers from the bank to get
me off the database.

> > Affable Schmuck as far as I can throw him, and am considering speaking
> > to his manager about the bank thing.
>
> Don't consider it- do it!

You guys are right. If he can't screw me over he may do it to NV, or
some other person he thinks is a dopey suburban housewife. I'm ****ed
with NV, but she doesn't deserve that.

Blessed be,
Baha

[Jofirey]

"BfloPolska" > wrote in message
...
On Jul 20, 2:13 pm, wrote:
> On Jul 20, 9:21 am, BfloPolska > wrote:
> Affable Schmuck tried to get me to give him
>
> > my bank information to supposedly have a relative wire him cash
> > from
> > out of town.
>
> What? Yeah like he doesn't have a bank account! Or they can't do
> that what's that money transfer system? I have 1/2 a dozen shops
> locally that do it- the relative pays the cash over at one point
> and
> fills in a form with some ID details or a question that only the
> recipient would know then lets the recipient know where to collect
> the
> money fromwhilst the shop faxes the form to the other end-
> recipient
> goes in- answers question produces ID etc and the shop pays the
> cash
> out- Western Union is that it?

Western Union or its competitor MoneyGram. They are so prominent in
our supermarkets, department stores, even little ma-and-pa
smoke-and-
beer shops on city corners that their presence is kind of laughable.
Schmuckmeister made like he didn't know what Western Union is!
Neither
Western Union nor MoneyGram require a bank account. You can do
bank-to-
bank wires (I was in the wire transfer division of Citicorp for many
years, before their move overseas) but they're more expensive and
take
longer than a Western Union transfer. Affable Scmuck was going on
and
on a few weeks ago about how he really DJ's and makes a pot of cash
doing production, house-music etc. If that's the case, I said, why
are
you working at a PetSmart for its miserable wage? While he hemmed
and
hawed I muttered the malarkey about ChexSystems and that pretty well
ended that mishegoss.

ChexSystems is the penalty box for people who screw up their bank
accounts. If a person overdrafts, doesn't pay the fees, and lets the
account close, the bank places them on the ChexSystems database, and
the person can't open accounts and in some places can't even get a
check-cashing card at a major supermarket. One can stay on the
database up to seven years, and it is very hard to get off once the
bad fees are paid in full. this happened to me many years ago, and
it
took almost two years and several signed papers from the bank to get
me off the database.

> > Affable Schmuck as far as I can throw him, and am considering
> > speaking
> > to his manager about the bank thing.
>
> Don't consider it- do it!

You guys are right. If he can't screw me over he may do it to NV, or
some other person he thinks is a dopey suburban housewife. I'm
****ed
with NV, but she doesn't deserve that.

Blessed be,
Baha

Not to mention that he more than likely handles cash on the job.
Having his girlfriend in and out of the place is a huge no no as far
as theft control goes.

Thing is, if you talk to the manager, it will more than likely cost
him his job. You don't want to be in the way of any fallout from
that.

Jo

[BfloPolska]

On Jul 20, 9:56*pm, "Jofirey" > wrote:
>
> Not to mention that he more than likely handles cash on the job.
> Having his girlfriend in and out of the place is a huge no no as far
> as theft control goes.
>
> Thing is, if you talk to the manager, it will more than likely cost
> him his job. *You don't want to be in the way of any fallout from
> that.

And that's a big, ugly problem I'm having trouble figuring out, and
the thing that has prevented me from mentioning it as of yet. Shelter
Boss knows about it, but I have no idea how to manage it otherwise.
There have been no requests since telling Schmuck I'm on chexSystems.

Blessed be,
Baha

[Jofirey]

"BfloPolska" > wrote in message
...
On Jul 20, 9:56 pm, "Jofirey" > wrote:
>
> Not to mention that he more than likely handles cash on the job.
> Having his girlfriend in and out of the place is a huge no no as
> far
> as theft control goes.
>
> Thing is, if you talk to the manager, it will more than likely
> cost
> him his job. You don't want to be in the way of any fallout from
> that.

And that's a big, ugly problem I'm having trouble figuring out, and
the thing that has prevented me from mentioning it as of yet.
Shelter
Boss knows about it, but I have no idea how to manage it otherwise.
There have been no requests since telling Schmuck I'm on
chexSystems.

**************

If shelter boss knows I'd leave anything further up to her. For all
you know schmuck is ripping the place off and manager is in on it.
If you worked for the store, or if you actually saw something like
that going on, you would have some responsibility, but as I see it
right now you don't.

Jo

[Stormmee]

totally agree here, someone in authority knows, and she is above your pay
grade, and you could put yourself in danger, you have reported it so you
aren't helping him, Lee
"Jofirey" > wrote in message
...
>
> "BfloPolska" > wrote in message
> ...
> On Jul 20, 9:56 pm, "Jofirey" > wrote:
>>
>> Not to mention that he more than likely handles cash on the job.
>> Having his girlfriend in and out of the place is a huge no no as far
>> as theft control goes.
>>
>> Thing is, if you talk to the manager, it will more than likely cost
>> him his job. You don't want to be in the way of any fallout from
>> that.
>
> And that's a big, ugly problem I'm having trouble figuring out, and
> the thing that has prevented me from mentioning it as of yet. Shelter
> Boss knows about it, but I have no idea how to manage it otherwise.
> There have been no requests since telling Schmuck I'm on chexSystems.
>
> **************
>
> If shelter boss knows I'd leave anything further up to her. For all you
> know schmuck is ripping the place off and manager is in on it. If you
> worked for the store, or if you actually saw something like that going on,
> you would have some responsibility, but as I see it right now you don't.
>
> Jo