OT - Damned insensitivity

[Cheryl]

My mom decided to sell my dad's car and got a few quotes from dealers on
trade-ins and also went to Carmax, who gave a good quote. She went today to
finalize the sale and I don't know the whole story because mom was crying
when she told me, but they gave her a hard time because the death
certificate for my dad wasn't stamped, and apparently the death certificates
here aren't stamped like they used to be, and the Carmax person wouldn't
accept it because of that. Actually, when she first went in for the quote
they never told her they needed a death certificate to make the sale, and
she just brought one along as an afterthought. After having to escalate the
problem to management and her losing it and crying asking why they are
giving her such a hard time after just losing her husband and she didn't
know what she was supposed to do? I told her she needs to call me in these
situations because I didn't know she was going in there today to do this.
She is way more important to me than my job and I'd leave work to go help
her. *sigh*

--
Cheryl

[Joy]

"Cheryl" > wrote in message
...
> My mom decided to sell my dad's car and got a few quotes from dealers on
> trade-ins and also went to Carmax, who gave a good quote. She went today
> to finalize the sale and I don't know the whole story because mom was
> crying when she told me, but they gave her a hard time because the death
> certificate for my dad wasn't stamped, and apparently the death
> certificates here aren't stamped like they used to be, and the Carmax
> person wouldn't accept it because of that. Actually, when she first went
> in for the quote they never told her they needed a death certificate to
> make the sale, and she just brought one along as an afterthought. After
> having to escalate the problem to management and her losing it and crying
> asking why they are giving her such a hard time after just losing her
> husband and she didn't know what she was supposed to do? I told her she
> needs to call me in these situations because I didn't know she was going
> in there today to do this. She is way more important to me than my job and
> I'd leave work to go help her. *sigh*
>
> --
> Cheryl

I'm so sorry! Hugs and purrs to both you and your mom.

Joy

[Granby]

When she is calmer, you need to remind her that she needs to call you.

Then go and rip those S O B"s a new body part. Then contact your better
business bureau. Then write a letter to you local newspaper.

People who do this sort of thing are horrid, been there done that. If it
is all as she says, you need to tell everyone you meet about it.

If it is a rule, then they should have told her from the outset.
"Cheryl" > wrote in message
...
> My mom decided to sell my dad's car and got a few quotes from dealers on
> trade-ins and also went to Carmax, who gave a good quote. She went today
> to finalize the sale and I don't know the whole story because mom was
> crying when she told me, but they gave her a hard time because the death
> certificate for my dad wasn't stamped, and apparently the death
> certificates here aren't stamped like they used to be, and the Carmax
> person wouldn't accept it because of that. Actually, when she first went
> in for the quote they never told her they needed a death certificate to
> make the sale, and she just brought one along as an afterthought. After
> having to escalate the problem to management and her losing it and crying
> asking why they are giving her such a hard time after just losing her
> husband and she didn't know what she was supposed to do? I told her she
> needs to call me in these situations because I didn't know she was going
> in there today to do this. She is way more important to me than my job and
> I'd leave work to go help her. *sigh*
>
> --
> Cheryl
>

[Cheryl]

The worst part other than making her cry was making her stay there for hours
while they figured out what they were supposed to do. They had to call the
DMV, then mom had to call the DMV to confirm something or other, all the
while a neighbor was waiting for her outside in her car to drive her home.
I wouldn't expect the neighbor to step in and try to figure this out, which
is why I wish I knew about it and was there.

And Gramby, I did tell her over and over that she doesn't need to go through
these things herself. I will always be here for her. She just needs to
tell me. I think by the end of our phone call she knows that she can call
me away from work to help her.

I will remind her again and again with hugs.

"Granby" > wrote in message
...
> When she is calmer, you need to remind her that she needs to call you.
>
> Then go and rip those S O B"s a new body part. Then contact your better
> business bureau. Then write a letter to you local newspaper.
>
> People who do this sort of thing are horrid, been there done that. If it
> is all as she says, you need to tell everyone you meet about it.
>
> If it is a rule, then they should have told her from the outset.
> "Cheryl" > wrote in message
> ...
>> My mom decided to sell my dad's car and got a few quotes from dealers on
>> trade-ins and also went to Carmax, who gave a good quote. She went today
>> to finalize the sale and I don't know the whole story because mom was
>> crying when she told me, but they gave her a hard time because the death
>> certificate for my dad wasn't stamped, and apparently the death
>> certificates here aren't stamped like they used to be, and the Carmax
>> person wouldn't accept it because of that. Actually, when she first went
>> in for the quote they never told her they needed a death certificate to
>> make the sale, and she just brought one along as an afterthought. After
>> having to escalate the problem to management and her losing it and crying
>> asking why they are giving her such a hard time after just losing her
>> husband and she didn't know what she was supposed to do? I told her she
>> needs to call me in these situations because I didn't know she was going
>> in there today to do this. She is way more important to me than my job
>> and I'd leave work to go help her. *sigh*
>>
>> --
>> Cheryl
>>
>
>

[Granby]

You are a big help to her, I am sure. We folks, ahem older ones, get that I
want to do it myself thing. That can sometimes get us in these situations.

It is still a horrid thing they did.
"Cheryl" > wrote in message
...
> The worst part other than making her cry was making her stay there for
> hours while they figured out what they were supposed to do. They had to
> call the DMV, then mom had to call the DMV to confirm something or other,
> all the while a neighbor was waiting for her outside in her car to drive
> her home. I wouldn't expect the neighbor to step in and try to figure this
> out, which is why I wish I knew about it and was there.
>
> And Gramby, I did tell her over and over that she doesn't need to go
> through these things herself. I will always be here for her. She just
> needs to tell me. I think by the end of our phone call she knows that she
> can call me away from work to help her.
>
> I will remind her again and again with hugs.
>
> "Granby" > wrote in message
> ...
>> When she is calmer, you need to remind her that she needs to call you.
>>
>> Then go and rip those S O B"s a new body part. Then contact your better
>> business bureau. Then write a letter to you local newspaper.
>>
>> People who do this sort of thing are horrid, been there done that. If
>> it is all as she says, you need to tell everyone you meet about it.
>>
>> If it is a rule, then they should have told her from the outset.
>> "Cheryl" > wrote in message
>> ...
>>> My mom decided to sell my dad's car and got a few quotes from dealers on
>>> trade-ins and also went to Carmax, who gave a good quote. She went
>>> today to finalize the sale and I don't know the whole story because mom
>>> was crying when she told me, but they gave her a hard time because the
>>> death certificate for my dad wasn't stamped, and apparently the death
>>> certificates here aren't stamped like they used to be, and the Carmax
>>> person wouldn't accept it because of that. Actually, when she first
>>> went in for the quote they never told her they needed a death
>>> certificate to make the sale, and she just brought one along as an
>>> afterthought. After having to escalate the problem to management and
>>> her losing it and crying asking why they are giving her such a hard time
>>> after just losing her husband and she didn't know what she was supposed
>>> to do? I told her she needs to call me in these situations because I
>>> didn't know she was going in there today to do this. She is way more
>>> important to me than my job and I'd leave work to go help her. *sigh*
>>>
>>> --
>>> Cheryl
>>>
>>
>>
>

[Sherry]

On Jul 24, 8:49*pm, "Cheryl" > wrote:
> The worst part other than making her cry was making her stay there for hours
> while they figured out what they were supposed to do. *They had to call the
> DMV, then mom had to call the DMV to confirm something or other, all the
> while a neighbor was waiting for her outside in her car to drive her home..
> I wouldn't expect the neighbor to step in and try to figure this out, which
> is why I wish I knew about it and was there.
>
> And Gramby, I did tell her over and over that she doesn't need to go through
> these things herself. *I will always be here for her. *She just needs to
> tell me. *I think by the end of our phone call she knows that she can call
> me away from work to help her.
>
> I will remind her again and again with hugs.
>
> "Granby" > wrote in message
>
> ...
>
>
>
> > When she is calmer, you need to remind her that she needs to call you.
>
> > Then go and rip those S O B"s a new body part. *Then contact your better
> > business bureau. *Then write a letter to you local newspaper.
>
> > People who do this sort of thing are horrid, *been there done that. *If it
> > is all as she says, you need to tell everyone you meet about it.
>
> > If it is a rule, then they should have told her from the outset.
> > "Cheryl" > wrote in message
> ...
> >> My mom decided to sell my dad's car and got a few quotes from dealers on
> >> trade-ins and also went to Carmax, who gave a good quote. *She went today
> >> to finalize the sale and I don't know the whole story because mom was
> >> crying when she told me, but they gave her a hard time because the death
> >> certificate for my dad wasn't stamped, and apparently the death
> >> certificates here aren't stamped like they used to be, and the Carmax
> >> person wouldn't accept it because of that. *Actually, when she first went
> >> in for the quote they never told her they needed a death certificate to
> >> make the sale, and she just brought one along as an afterthought. *After
> >> having to escalate the problem to management and her losing it and crying
> >> asking why they are giving her such a hard time after just losing her
> >> husband and she didn't know what she was supposed to do? *I told her she
> >> needs to call me in these situations because I didn't know she was going
> >> in there today to do this. She is way more important to me than my job
> >> and I'd leave work to go help her. **sigh*
>
> >> --
> >> Cheryl- Hide quoted text -

What an awful ordeal for your mom. You'd think Carmax would be have
people on staff who would not handle the situation so poorly.
I think you handled it perfectly -- reassuring her that you want to
help
will take a big load off her shoulders.

Sherry

[Cheryl]

"Joy" > wrote in message
...


>
> I'm so sorry! Hugs and purrs to both you and your mom.
>

Thank you Joy.

[jmcquown[_2_]]

"Cheryl" > wrote in message
...
> My mom decided to sell my dad's car and got a few quotes from dealers on
> trade-ins and also went to Carmax, who gave a good quote. She went today
> to finalize the sale and I don't know the whole story because mom was
> crying when she told me, but they gave her a hard time because the death
> certificate for my dad wasn't stamped, and apparently the death
> certificates here aren't stamped like they used to be, and the Carmax
> person wouldn't accept it because of that. Actually, when she first went
> in for the quote they never told her they needed a death certificate to
> make the sale, and she just brought one along as an afterthought. After
> having to escalate the problem to management and her losing it and crying
> asking why they are giving her such a hard time after just losing her
> husband and she didn't know what she was supposed to do? I told her she
> needs to call me in these situations because I didn't know she was going
> in there today to do this. She is way more important to me than my job and
> I'd leave work to go help her. *sigh*
>
> --
> Cheryl
>

I'm so very sorry she ran into an insensitive jerk. It's hard enough
dealing with the loss of a loved one without someone acting like an idiot in
the process.

Jill

[Stormmee]

now that sucks, I am sorry, Lee
"Cheryl" > wrote in message
...
> My mom decided to sell my dad's car and got a few quotes from dealers on
> trade-ins and also went to Carmax, who gave a good quote. She went today
> to finalize the sale and I don't know the whole story because mom was
> crying when she told me, but they gave her a hard time because the death
> certificate for my dad wasn't stamped, and apparently the death
> certificates here aren't stamped like they used to be, and the Carmax
> person wouldn't accept it because of that. Actually, when she first went
> in for the quote they never told her they needed a death certificate to
> make the sale, and she just brought one along as an afterthought. After
> having to escalate the problem to management and her losing it and crying
> asking why they are giving her such a hard time after just losing her
> husband and she didn't know what she was supposed to do? I told her she
> needs to call me in these situations because I didn't know she was going
> in there today to do this. She is way more important to me than my job and
> I'd leave work to go help her. *sigh*
>
> --
> Cheryl
>

[Stormmee]

butting in here, the Gramby is so strong on this because of some things that
happened to her, she doesn't share the crappy stuff much, but its there, Lee
"Cheryl" > wrote in message
...
> The worst part other than making her cry was making her stay there for
> hours while they figured out what they were supposed to do. They had to
> call the DMV, then mom had to call the DMV to confirm something or other,
> all the while a neighbor was waiting for her outside in her car to drive
> her home. I wouldn't expect the neighbor to step in and try to figure this
> out, which is why I wish I knew about it and was there.
>
> And Gramby, I did tell her over and over that she doesn't need to go
> through these things herself. I will always be here for her. She just
> needs to tell me. I think by the end of our phone call she knows that she
> can call me away from work to help her.
>
> I will remind her again and again with hugs.
>
> "Granby" > wrote in message
> ...
>> When she is calmer, you need to remind her that she needs to call you.
>>
>> Then go and rip those S O B"s a new body part. Then contact your better
>> business bureau. Then write a letter to you local newspaper.
>>
>> People who do this sort of thing are horrid, been there done that. If
>> it is all as she says, you need to tell everyone you meet about it.
>>
>> If it is a rule, then they should have told her from the outset.
>> "Cheryl" > wrote in message
>> ...
>>> My mom decided to sell my dad's car and got a few quotes from dealers on
>>> trade-ins and also went to Carmax, who gave a good quote. She went
>>> today to finalize the sale and I don't know the whole story because mom
>>> was crying when she told me, but they gave her a hard time because the
>>> death certificate for my dad wasn't stamped, and apparently the death
>>> certificates here aren't stamped like they used to be, and the Carmax
>>> person wouldn't accept it because of that. Actually, when she first
>>> went in for the quote they never told her they needed a death
>>> certificate to make the sale, and she just brought one along as an
>>> afterthought. After having to escalate the problem to management and
>>> her losing it and crying asking why they are giving her such a hard time
>>> after just losing her husband and she didn't know what she was supposed
>>> to do? I told her she needs to call me in these situations because I
>>> didn't know she was going in there today to do this. She is way more
>>> important to me than my job and I'd leave work to go help her. *sigh*
>>>
>>> --
>>> Cheryl
>>>
>>
>>
>

[Karla]

"Cheryl" > wrote in message
...
> My mom decided to sell my dad's car and got a few quotes from dealers on
> trade-ins and also went to Carmax, who gave a good quote. She went today
> to finalize the sale and I don't know the whole story because mom was
> crying when she told me, but they gave her a hard time because the death
> certificate for my dad wasn't stamped, and apparently the death
> certificates here aren't stamped like they used to be, and the Carmax
> person wouldn't accept it because of that. Actually, when she first went
> in for the quote they never told her they needed a death certificate to
> make the sale, and she just brought one along as an afterthought. After
> having to escalate the problem to management and her losing it and crying
> asking why they are giving her such a hard time after just losing her
> husband and she didn't know what she was supposed to do? I told her she
> needs to call me in these situations because I didn't know she was going
> in there today to do this. She is way more important to me than my job and
> I'd leave work to go help her. *sigh*
>
> --
> Cheryl
>

This kind of behavior infuriates me. It's bullying, picking on someone
weaker. I see no reason for it at all.

I'm so sorry your Mother experienced this, it just ties my stomach into
knots to think about it.

If you do manage to corral those that hurt her, make sure and ask them what
their Mothers would think of their behavior.
Karla

[Smokie Darling (Annie)]

On Jul 24, 7:03*pm, "Cheryl" > wrote:
> My mom decided to sell my dad's car and got a few quotes from dealers on
> trade-ins and also went to Carmax, who gave a good quote. *She went today to
> finalize the sale and I don't know the whole story because mom was crying
> when she told me, but they gave her a hard time because the death
> certificate for my dad wasn't stamped, and apparently the death certificates
> here aren't stamped like they used to be, and the Carmax person wouldn't
> accept it because of that. *Actually, when she first went in for the quote
> they never told her they needed a death certificate to make the sale, and
> she just brought one along as an afterthought. *After having to escalate the
> problem to management and her losing it and crying asking why they are
> giving her such a hard time after just losing her husband and she didn't
> know what she was supposed to do? *I told her she needs to call me in these
> situations because I didn't know she was going in there today to do this.
> She is way more important to me than my job and I'd leave work to go help
> her. **sigh*
>
> --
> Cheryl

I stopped being amazed at the cruelty (generally unintentional) people
exhibit, in order to save themselves a step. They don't care how hard
it is on survivors, they just dont' want to have to actually *do*
anything themselves.

Calming purrs for you and your mom (I realize this is a day late, but
I can still send soothing thoughts).

Smokie Darling (Annie)

[Lesley[_3_]]

On Jul 24, 6:03*pm, "Cheryl" > wrote:
> My mom decided to sell my dad's car and got a few quotes from dealers on
> trade-ins and also went to Carmax, who gave a good quote. *

The dealer is what we could call over here " a complete and utter
tosser" (and several words even less polite)

Lesley

Slave of the Fabulous Furballs

[EvelynVogtGamble(Divamanque)]

Cheryl wrote:
> My mom decided to sell my dad's car and got a few quotes from dealers on
> trade-ins and also went to Carmax, who gave a good quote. She went
> today to finalize the sale and I don't know the whole story because mom
> was crying when she told me, but they gave her a hard time because the
> death certificate for my dad wasn't stamped, and apparently the death
> certificates here aren't stamped like they used to be, and the Carmax
> person wouldn't accept it because of that. Actually, when she first
> went in for the quote they never told her they needed a death
> certificate to make the sale, and she just brought one along as an
> afterthought. After having to escalate the problem to management and
> her losing it and crying asking why they are giving her such a hard time
> after just losing her husband and she didn't know what she was supposed
> to do? I told her she needs to call me in these situations because I
> didn't know she was going in there today to do this. She is way more
> important to me than my job and I'd leave work to go help her. *sigh*
>
I'm not sure where you live, but I assume somewhere in the U.S. For
what possible reason would they require a death certificate? I have
disposed of quite a few cars over the years, and all that was ever
required was the pink slip. (And if that's unavailable, one can get a
duplicate.)

[Magic Mood Jeep]

"EvelynVogtGamble(Divamanque)" > wrote in message
...
>
>
> Cheryl wrote:
>> My mom decided to sell my dad's car and got a few quotes from dealers
>> on trade-ins and also went to Carmax, who gave a good quote. She went
>> today to finalize the sale and I don't know the whole story because mom
>> was crying when she told me, but they gave her a hard time because the
>> death certificate for my dad wasn't stamped, and apparently the death
>> certificates here aren't stamped like they used to be, and the Carmax
>> person wouldn't accept it because of that. Actually, when she first
>> went in for the quote they never told her they needed a death
>> certificate to make the sale, and she just brought one along as an
>> afterthought. After having to escalate the problem to management and
>> her losing it and crying asking why they are giving her such a hard
>> time after just losing her husband and she didn't know what she was
>> supposed to do? I told her she needs to call me in these situations
>> because I didn't know she was going in there today to do this. She is
>> way more important to me than my job and I'd leave work to go help her.
>> *sigh*
>>
> I'm not sure where you live, but I assume somewhere in the U.S. For
> what possible reason would they require a death certificate? I have
> disposed of quite a few cars over the years, and all that was ever
> required was the pink slip. (And if that's unavailable, one can get a
> duplicate.)


If the vehicle in question is in your name, just having the "pink slip"
(hereafter called a title) is all that's needed in order to sell it.

If the vehicle's title is in the name of a deceased person (and no other
person is listed, such as a surviving spouse or child/parent/sibling), the
buyer should require a copy of the death certificate in order to ensure
that they are not buying a stolen vehicle. Also helps with getting title
of said vehicle transferred to the survivor's name to have a death
certificate, since the owner simply cannot be there to sign it over.

For example. My husband & I own two vehicles. One is in both our names
(since we were both working when we purchased it and used both our incomes
as backing for the loan). If he were to die, I would need a copy of the
death certificate in order to have his name removed from the title. The
other car is in his name only (although I am primary driver of that
vehicle (and I am the one that writes the payment checks and insurance and
license plate checks), he is the only one working and we could only use
his income as backing for the loan.. or we would pay an exorbitant
interest rate since I have no income), and I would also need a death
certificate in order to have title transferred to my name.

Some states require that the signature for transfer of title be notarized
by a notary public (to ensure that the person who signed it is in fact the
person who has authority to sign it), as we did in Indiana years ago, but
that became a pain, so they did away with it.
--
>^..^< This is Kitty. Copy and paste Kitty into your signature to help
her
wipe out Bunny's world domination.
--
The ONE and ONLY
lefthanded-pathetic-paranoid-psychotic-sarcastic-wiseass-ditzy
former-blonde
in Bloomington! (And proud of it, too)©
email me at nalee1964 (at) comcast (dot) net
http://community.webshots.com/user/mgcmdjeep

[Cheryl]

"Magic Mood Jeep" > wrote in message
...
> "EvelynVogtGamble(Divamanque)" > wrote in message
> ...
>>
>>>
>> I'm not sure where you live, but I assume somewhere in the U.S. For what
>> possible reason would they require a death certificate? I have disposed
>> of quite a few cars over the years, and all that was ever required was
>> the pink slip. (And if that's unavailable, one can get a duplicate.)
>
>
> If the vehicle in question is in your name, just having the "pink slip"
> (hereafter called a title) is all that's needed in order to sell it.
>
> If the vehicle's title is in the name of a deceased person (and no other
> person is listed, such as a surviving spouse or child/parent/sibling), the
> buyer should require a copy of the death certificate in order to ensure
> that they are not buying a stolen vehicle. Also helps with getting title
> of said vehicle transferred to the survivor's name to have a death
> certificate, since the owner simply cannot be there to sign it over.
>
> For example. My husband & I own two vehicles. One is in both our names
> (since we were both working when we purchased it and used both our incomes
> as backing for the loan). If he were to die, I would need a copy of the
> death certificate in order to have his name removed from the title. The
> other car is in his name only (although I am primary driver of that
> vehicle (and I am the one that writes the payment checks and insurance and
> license plate checks), he is the only one working and we could only use
> his income as backing for the loan.. or we would pay an exorbitant
> interest rate since I have no income), and I would also need a death
> certificate in order to have title transferred to my name.
>
> Some states require that the signature for transfer of title be notarized
> by a notary public (to ensure that the person who signed it is in fact the
> person who has authority to sign it), as we did in Indiana years ago, but
> that became a pain, so they did away with it.

Thanks MMJ. That's the case here, too. The car was in his and my mother's
name. To make things even worse and her more upset today, the check was
made out to BOTH of them - she didn't notice that yesterday after the
fiasco - and when my mom tried to deposit it, they said she had to open a
new account in a trust or something like that. I told her she HAS to stop
trying to do these things right now, and that with her kids here and more
than willing to help with everything, there's no reason for her to go
through this by herself. She still has the check and I'm going with her
back to Carmax on Tuesday to see if they can rewrite the check in her name
alone. This whole thing is crazy. I want her to call her living trust
lawyer and have him take care of these things but she's being stubborn. If
we can't get a new check, she said she will. *sigh again*

[jmcquown[_2_]]

"EvelynVogtGamble(Divamanque)" > wrote in message
...
>
>
> Cheryl wrote:
>> My mom decided to sell my dad's car and got a few quotes from dealers on
>> trade-ins and also went to Carmax, who gave a good quote. She went today
>> to finalize the sale and I don't know the whole story because mom was
>> crying when she told me, but they gave her a hard time because the death
>> certificate for my dad wasn't stamped, and apparently the death
>> certificates here aren't stamped like they used to be, and the Carmax
>> person wouldn't accept it because of that. Actually, when she first went
>> in for the quote they never told her they needed a death certificate to
>> make the sale, and she just brought one along as an afterthought. After
>> having to escalate the problem to management and her losing it and crying
>> asking why they are giving her such a hard time after just losing her
>> husband and she didn't know what she was supposed to do? I told her she
>> needs to call me in these situations because I didn't know she was going
>> in there today to do this. She is way more important to me than my job
>> and I'd leave work to go help her. *sigh*
>>
> I'm not sure where you live, but I assume somewhere in the U.S. For what
> possible reason would they require a death certificate? I have disposed
> of quite a few cars over the years, and all that was ever required was the
> pink slip. (And if that's unavailable, one can get a duplicate.)



I can't speak for every state, Evelyn, but here in SC it's all in how the
title is worded. When my father died I was on the phone for weeks making
sure everything transferred over to my mother. I called the DMV to ask
about the car. I was told since the car was titled "AND" (rather than "OR")
yes, she owned the car.

I had to produce a death certificate when my mother died to get the title
transferred to my name so I could sell it as executor of her estate.

Jill

[Granby]

The bank wouldn't let me take Bob's name off our account for two years, said
there may be insurance checks to be deposited. They were right but, there
was no trouble depositing things with his name on them. Couldn't cash right
out but could deposit. Maybe they had separate accounts of banks with a
different policy.
"Cheryl" > wrote in message
...
> "Magic Mood Jeep" > wrote in message
> ...
>> "EvelynVogtGamble(Divamanque)" > wrote in message
>> ...
>>>
>>>>
>>> I'm not sure where you live, but I assume somewhere in the U.S. For
>>> what possible reason would they require a death certificate? I have
>>> disposed of quite a few cars over the years, and all that was ever
>>> required was the pink slip. (And if that's unavailable, one can get a
>>> duplicate.)
>>
>>
>> If the vehicle in question is in your name, just having the "pink slip"
>> (hereafter called a title) is all that's needed in order to sell it.
>>
>> If the vehicle's title is in the name of a deceased person (and no other
>> person is listed, such as a surviving spouse or child/parent/sibling),
>> the buyer should require a copy of the death certificate in order to
>> ensure that they are not buying a stolen vehicle. Also helps with
>> getting title of said vehicle transferred to the survivor's name to have
>> a death certificate, since the owner simply cannot be there to sign it
>> over.
>>
>> For example. My husband & I own two vehicles. One is in both our names
>> (since we were both working when we purchased it and used both our
>> incomes as backing for the loan). If he were to die, I would need a copy
>> of the death certificate in order to have his name removed from the
>> title. The other car is in his name only (although I am primary driver
>> of that vehicle (and I am the one that writes the payment checks and
>> insurance and license plate checks), he is the only one working and we
>> could only use his income as backing for the loan.. or we would pay an
>> exorbitant interest rate since I have no income), and I would also need a
>> death certificate in order to have title transferred to my name.
>>
>> Some states require that the signature for transfer of title be notarized
>> by a notary public (to ensure that the person who signed it is in fact
>> the person who has authority to sign it), as we did in Indiana years ago,
>> but that became a pain, so they did away with it.
>
> Thanks MMJ. That's the case here, too. The car was in his and my
> mother's name. To make things even worse and her more upset today, the
> check was made out to BOTH of them - she didn't notice that yesterday
> after the fiasco - and when my mom tried to deposit it, they said she had
> to open a new account in a trust or something like that. I told her she
> HAS to stop trying to do these things right now, and that with her kids
> here and more than willing to help with everything, there's no reason for
> her to go through this by herself. She still has the check and I'm going
> with her back to Carmax on Tuesday to see if they can rewrite the check in
> her name alone. This whole thing is crazy. I want her to call her living
> trust lawyer and have him take care of these things but she's being
> stubborn. If we can't get a new check, she said she will. *sigh again*
>

[Lesley[_3_]]

On Jul 25, 3:30*pm, "Granby" > wrote:
> The bank wouldn't let me take Bob's name off our account for two years, said
> there may be insurance checks to be deposited. *They were right but, there
> was no trouble depositing things with his name on them. *Couldn't cash right
> out but could deposit. Maybe they had separate accounts of banks with a
> different policy

The morning after my father died my mother notified the bank who that
very second she called put an immediate stop on ALL their joint
accounts- cancelled the cash point cards and everything until she (or
someone with a written statement from her that they were acting on her
behalf) took the official death certificate into the bank whereupon
they would open a new account in her name and send out new cards
within 10 working days! So, less than 24 hours after being widowed my
mother had the cash in her purse and nothing else....No way to pay for
the funeral until she got the bank sorted out. Luckily, my youngest
brother could cover for everything until it was sorted but once she
did have a new bank account he walked into that bank, where he also
banked and closed his account with them- and told them in no uncertain
terms why they were losing his consider business.

Lesley

Slave of the Fabulous Furballs

[William Hamblen[_2_]]

On Sat, 25 Jul 2009 19:58:08 GMT, Judith Latham
> wrote:


>I'm so sorry you're Mom had this happen. I really don't know what goes on
>in some peoples' heads. How would they have liked to be treated this way.
>Is Carmax a part of a chain with a head office? If so I would write to the
>head office if you get no apology, possibly compensation. But then again,
>your Mom's been through enough so anything you do about it, don't tell her
>until afterwards.

Things get awfully legalistic in inheritances. If a certified copy of
a death certificate is required by law, there are no if ands or buts
about it. A copy made on an office copier will not do. You need to
get the real thing from the state.

Bud

[Granby]

Wow, they sure do things differently. Since our was joint, there was no
problem. After some of the hideous stuff I went through, I feel sorry for
people who are shy about some things. You learn to stand up for yourself
PDQ or you can get in a jam.

The bank did want me to put one of my kids on my account and I said NO. Not
until I got it all sorted out and then, only in case of my death. Yes, I
can trust them, but not necessarily their spouses.
"Lesley" > wrote in message
...
On Jul 25, 3:30 pm, "Granby" > wrote:
> The bank wouldn't let me take Bob's name off our account for two years,
> said
> there may be insurance checks to be deposited. They were right but, there
> was no trouble depositing things with his name on them. Couldn't cash
> right
> out but could deposit. Maybe they had separate accounts of banks with a
> different policy

The morning after my father died my mother notified the bank who that
very second she called put an immediate stop on ALL their joint
accounts- cancelled the cash point cards and everything until she (or
someone with a written statement from her that they were acting on her
behalf) took the official death certificate into the bank whereupon
they would open a new account in her name and send out new cards
within 10 working days! So, less than 24 hours after being widowed my
mother had the cash in her purse and nothing else....No way to pay for
the funeral until she got the bank sorted out. Luckily, my youngest
brother could cover for everything until it was sorted but once she
did have a new bank account he walked into that bank, where he also
banked and closed his account with them- and told them in no uncertain
terms why they were losing his consider business.

Lesley

Slave of the Fabulous Furballs

[EvelynVogtGamble(Divamanque)]

Magic Mood Jeep wrote:
> "EvelynVogtGamble(Divamanque)" > wrote in message
> ...
>>
>> Cheryl wrote:
>>> My mom decided to sell my dad's car and got a few quotes from dealers
>>> on trade-ins and also went to Carmax, who gave a good quote. She went
>>> today to finalize the sale and I don't know the whole story because mom
>>> was crying when she told me, but they gave her a hard time because the
>>> death certificate for my dad wasn't stamped, and apparently the death
>>> certificates here aren't stamped like they used to be, and the Carmax
>>> person wouldn't accept it because of that. Actually, when she first
>>> went in for the quote they never told her they needed a death
>>> certificate to make the sale, and she just brought one along as an
>>> afterthought. After having to escalate the problem to management and
>>> her losing it and crying asking why they are giving her such a hard
>>> time after just losing her husband and she didn't know what she was
>>> supposed to do? I told her she needs to call me in these situations
>>> because I didn't know she was going in there today to do this. She is
>>> way more important to me than my job and I'd leave work to go help her.
>>> *sigh*
>>>
>> I'm not sure where you live, but I assume somewhere in the U.S. For
>> what possible reason would they require a death certificate? I have
>> disposed of quite a few cars over the years, and all that was ever
>> required was the pink slip. (And if that's unavailable, one can get a
>> duplicate.)
>
>
> If the vehicle in question is in your name, just having the "pink slip"
> (hereafter called a title) is all that's needed in order to sell it.
>
> If the vehicle's title is in the name of a deceased person (and no other
> person is listed, such as a surviving spouse or child/parent/sibling), the
> buyer should require a copy of the death certificate in order to ensure
> that they are not buying a stolen vehicle. Also helps with getting title
> of said vehicle transferred to the survivor's name to have a death
> certificate, since the owner simply cannot be there to sign it over.

So I could have sued my insurance company, when they allowed my ex to
collect the money, after he totalled my car? It was in my (maiden)
name, because I had bought it prior to our marriage - but of course the
replacement he bought was in his name. (Also it had standard
transmission, rather than automatic, so I couldn't drive it.)

[Cheryl]

"William Hamblen" > wrote in message
...
> On Sat, 25 Jul 2009 19:58:08 GMT, Judith Latham
> > wrote:
>
>
>>I'm so sorry you're Mom had this happen. I really don't know what goes on
>>in some peoples' heads. How would they have liked to be treated this way.
>>Is Carmax a part of a chain with a head office? If so I would write to the
>>head office if you get no apology, possibly compensation. But then again,
>>your Mom's been through enough so anything you do about it, don't tell her
>>until afterwards.
>
> Things get awfully legalistic in inheritances. If a certified copy of
> a death certificate is required by law, there are no if ands or buts
> about it. A copy made on an office copier will not do. You need to
> get the real thing from the state.
>

What my mom was given from the funeral home were indeed certified copies of
the death certificate, it's just that our county or state or whoever
provides them don't use a raised seal anymore. That's what's caused all of
the recent problems with the car sale. She hasn't copied one for any
purpose which is why she ordered something like 25 of them for everything
that requires one.

[Jofirey]

"EvelynVogtGamble(Divamanque)" > wrote in
message m...
>
>
> Magic Mood Jeep wrote:
>> "EvelynVogtGamble(Divamanque)" > wrote in
>> message ...
>>>
>>> Cheryl wrote:
>>>> My mom decided to sell my dad's car and got a few quotes from
>>>> dealers on trade-ins and also went to Carmax, who gave a good
>>>> quote. She went today to finalize the sale and I don't know
>>>> the whole story because mom was crying when she told me, but
>>>> they gave her a hard time because the death certificate for my
>>>> dad wasn't stamped, and apparently the death certificates here
>>>> aren't stamped like they used to be, and the Carmax person
>>>> wouldn't accept it because of that. Actually, when she first
>>>> went in for the quote they never told her they needed a death
>>>> certificate to make the sale, and she just brought one along as
>>>> an afterthought. After having to escalate the problem to
>>>> management and her losing it and crying asking why they are
>>>> giving her such a hard time after just losing her husband and
>>>> she didn't know what she was supposed to do? I told her she
>>>> needs to call me in these situations because I didn't know she
>>>> was going in there today to do this. She is way more important
>>>> to me than my job and I'd leave work to go help her. *sigh*
>>>>
>>> I'm not sure where you live, but I assume somewhere in the U.S.
>>> For what possible reason would they require a death certificate?
>>> I have disposed of quite a few cars over the years, and all that
>>> was ever required was the pink slip. (And if that's
>>> unavailable, one can get a duplicate.)
>>
>>
>> If the vehicle in question is in your name, just having the "pink
>> slip" (hereafter called a title) is all that's needed in order to
>> sell it.
>>
>> If the vehicle's title is in the name of a deceased person (and
>> no other person is listed, such as a surviving spouse or
>> child/parent/sibling), the buyer should require a copy of the
>> death certificate in order to ensure that they are not buying a
>> stolen vehicle. Also helps with getting title of said vehicle
>> transferred to the survivor's name to have a death certificate,
>> since the owner simply cannot be there to sign it over.
>
> So I could have sued my insurance company, when they allowed my ex
> to collect the money, after he totalled my car? It was in my
> (maiden) name, because I had bought it prior to our marriage - but
> of course the replacement he bought was in his name. (Also it had
> standard transmission, rather than automatic, so I couldn't drive
> it.)

Sounds rather more like you should have sued your ex. Assuming both
the car and the insurance policy were only in your name.

Any check they issue is going to be payable to the policy holder(s),
but then it could be deposited to a joint account and raided from
there.

Joint bank accounts aren't always such a hot idea.

Jo

[Jofirey]

"Cheryl" > wrote in message
...
> My mom decided to sell my dad's car and got a few quotes from
> dealers on trade-ins and also went to Carmax, who gave a good
> quote. She went today to finalize the sale and I don't know the
> whole story because mom was crying when she told me, but they gave
> her a hard time because the death certificate for my dad wasn't
> stamped, and apparently the death certificates here aren't stamped
> like they used to be, and the Carmax person wouldn't accept it
> because of that.

Just a bit of advice I always gave my tax clients and family, when
there is a death make sure you get at least ten certified copies of
the death certificate right away. More if there are several bank
accounts or insurance policies. And always keep one with you until
everything is settled, just in case.

Its a real pain to get extra certifies copies later, and anyone that
need a death certificate, needs a certified one, not a copy.

I'm really sorry your mother went through this. But I think
everyone that has to settle an estate or deal with the business part
of a death of a loved one hits something similar at least once or
twice. Raw emotions make it very hard to cope, and sometimes they
surface just out of nowhere. That kind of emotion is very difficult
for some people to handle, and they react badly out of their own
emotions and fears.

Jo

[William Hamblen[_2_]]

On Sun, 26 Jul 2009 13:29:40 -0700, "EvelynVogtGamble(Divamanque)"
> wrote:

>Magic Mood Jeep wrote:
>> "EvelynVogtGamble(Divamanque)" > wrote in message
>> ...
>>>
>>> Cheryl wrote:
>>>> My mom decided to sell my dad's car and got a few quotes from dealers
>>>> on trade-ins and also went to Carmax, who gave a good quote. She went
>>>> today to finalize the sale and I don't know the whole story because mom
>>>> was crying when she told me, but they gave her a hard time because the
>>>> death certificate for my dad wasn't stamped, and apparently the death
>>>> certificates here aren't stamped like they used to be, and the Carmax
>>>> person wouldn't accept it because of that. Actually, when she first
>>>> went in for the quote they never told her they needed a death
>>>> certificate to make the sale, and she just brought one along as an
>>>> afterthought. After having to escalate the problem to management and
>>>> her losing it and crying asking why they are giving her such a hard
>>>> time after just losing her husband and she didn't know what she was
>>>> supposed to do? I told her she needs to call me in these situations
>>>> because I didn't know she was going in there today to do this. She is
>>>> way more important to me than my job and I'd leave work to go help her.
>>>> *sigh*
>>>>
>>> I'm not sure where you live, but I assume somewhere in the U.S. For
>>> what possible reason would they require a death certificate? I have
>>> disposed of quite a few cars over the years, and all that was ever
>>> required was the pink slip. (And if that's unavailable, one can get a
>>> duplicate.)
>>
>>
>> If the vehicle in question is in your name, just having the "pink slip"
>> (hereafter called a title) is all that's needed in order to sell it.
>>
>> If the vehicle's title is in the name of a deceased person (and no other
>> person is listed, such as a surviving spouse or child/parent/sibling), the
>> buyer should require a copy of the death certificate in order to ensure
>> that they are not buying a stolen vehicle. Also helps with getting title
>> of said vehicle transferred to the survivor's name to have a death
>> certificate, since the owner simply cannot be there to sign it over.
>
>So I could have sued my insurance company, when they allowed my ex to
>collect the money, after he totalled my car? It was in my (maiden)
>name, because I had bought it prior to our marriage - but of course the
>replacement he bought was in his name. (Also it had standard
>transmission, rather than automatic, so I couldn't drive it.)

If the car is titled to the wife, then the wife should be named as the
insured. Husbands and children who also drive the car are named as
additional insureds. It's poor underwriting to issue a policy to
someone who doesn't own the car.

Bud

[William Hamblen[_2_]]

On Sun, 26 Jul 2009 17:03:20 -0400, "Cheryl"
> wrote:

>
>"William Hamblen" > wrote in message
...
>> On Sat, 25 Jul 2009 19:58:08 GMT, Judith Latham
>> > wrote:
>>
>>
>>>I'm so sorry you're Mom had this happen. I really don't know what goes on
>>>in some peoples' heads. How would they have liked to be treated this way.
>>>Is Carmax a part of a chain with a head office? If so I would write to the
>>>head office if you get no apology, possibly compensation. But then again,
>>>your Mom's been through enough so anything you do about it, don't tell her
>>>until afterwards.
>>
>> Things get awfully legalistic in inheritances. If a certified copy of
>> a death certificate is required by law, there are no if ands or buts
>> about it. A copy made on an office copier will not do. You need to
>> get the real thing from the state.
>>
>
>What my mom was given from the funeral home were indeed certified copies of
>the death certificate, it's just that our county or state or whoever
>provides them don't use a raised seal anymore. That's what's caused all of
>the recent problems with the car sale. She hasn't copied one for any
>purpose which is why she ordered something like 25 of them for everything
>that requires one.

In that case the car dealer needs to know better.

Raised seals are pretty scarce these days. I've obtained court
documents with the clerk's seal that was nothing more than a rubber
stamp.

Bud

[Jofirey]

"William Hamblen" > wrote in message
...
>
> If the car is titled to the wife, then the wife should be named as
> the
> insured. Husbands and children who also drive the car are named
> as
> additional insureds. It's poor underwriting to issue a policy to
> someone who doesn't own the car.
>
> Bud

I don't know. We've had the same Allstate since we moved to
California forty years ago. A joint policy. At various time over
the years there have been cars that were titled only to Charlie or
only to me, although most have been jointly owned. I'm pretty sure
that any claim checks we've received have been payable to us both.

When you have a joint bank account with someone, it is extremely
easy for either one of you to deposit a check made out to the other
one and then to remove the money from the account. You have
implicitly agreed to this by opening a joint account with them, and
probably explicitly as well if you read the stuff you sign when you
open the account. So you might have legal recourse against the
other person if they weren't entitled to the money, but not against
the bank or whoever issued the check.

But I'm not a lawyer, and states vary. So check with one when it
matters.

Jo

[Granby]

If she has a lawyer, he needs to call the car people and inform them of how
things are.
"William Hamblen" > wrote in message
...
> On Sun, 26 Jul 2009 17:03:20 -0400, "Cheryl"
> > wrote:
>
>>
>>"William Hamblen" > wrote in message
...
>>> On Sat, 25 Jul 2009 19:58:08 GMT, Judith Latham
>>> > wrote:
>>>
>>>
>>>>I'm so sorry you're Mom had this happen. I really don't know what goes
>>>>on
>>>>in some peoples' heads. How would they have liked to be treated this
>>>>way.
>>>>Is Carmax a part of a chain with a head office? If so I would write to
>>>>the
>>>>head office if you get no apology, possibly compensation. But then
>>>>again,
>>>>your Mom's been through enough so anything you do about it, don't tell
>>>>her
>>>>until afterwards.
>>>
>>> Things get awfully legalistic in inheritances. If a certified copy of
>>> a death certificate is required by law, there are no if ands or buts
>>> about it. A copy made on an office copier will not do. You need to
>>> get the real thing from the state.
>>>
>>
>>What my mom was given from the funeral home were indeed certified copies
>>of
>>the death certificate, it's just that our county or state or whoever
>>provides them don't use a raised seal anymore. That's what's caused all
>>of
>>the recent problems with the car sale. She hasn't copied one for any
>>purpose which is why she ordered something like 25 of them for everything
>>that requires one.
>
> In that case the car dealer needs to know better.
>
> Raised seals are pretty scarce these days. I've obtained court
> documents with the clerk's seal that was nothing more than a rubber
> stamp.
>
> Bud

[EvelynVogtGamble(Divamanque)]

Jofirey wrote:
>
>>
>> So I could have sued my insurance company, when they allowed my ex to
>> collect the money, after he totalled my car? It was in my (maiden)
>> name, because I had bought it prior to our marriage - but of course
>> the replacement he bought was in his name. (Also it had standard
>> transmission, rather than automatic, so I couldn't drive it.)
>
> Sounds rather more like you should have sued your ex. Assuming both the
> car and the insurance policy were only in your name.

They were! And the premiums were paid from my account - he didn't have
one (or a job, for that matter).
>
> Any check they issue is going to be payable to the policy holder(s), but
> then it could be deposited to a joint account and raided from there.

Well, they gave him the check, and he certainly was not the
policy-holder! (This was forty+ years ago - the laws may have changed
since then, and California has always been a community property state.)

>
> Joint bank accounts aren't always such a hot idea.

Very true! Of course, I knew most of the negative things about him
before we married, and I was certainly old enough to know better. (I
was 31, not exactly a naive teen-ager - sometimes "love" really IS blind!)

[EvelynVogtGamble(Divamanque)]

William Hamblen wrote:
> On Sun, 26 Jul 2009 13:29:40 -0700, "EvelynVogtGamble(Divamanque)"
> > wrote:
>
>> Magic Mood Jeep wrote:
>>> "EvelynVogtGamble(Divamanque)" > wrote in message
>>> ...
>>>> Cheryl wrote:
>>>>> My mom decided to sell my dad's car and got a few quotes from dealers
>>>>> on trade-ins and also went to Carmax, who gave a good quote. She went
>>>>> today to finalize the sale and I don't know the whole story because mom
>>>>> was crying when she told me, but they gave her a hard time because the
>>>>> death certificate for my dad wasn't stamped, and apparently the death
>>>>> certificates here aren't stamped like they used to be, and the Carmax
>>>>> person wouldn't accept it because of that. Actually, when she first
>>>>> went in for the quote they never told her they needed a death
>>>>> certificate to make the sale, and she just brought one along as an
>>>>> afterthought. After having to escalate the problem to management and
>>>>> her losing it and crying asking why they are giving her such a hard
>>>>> time after just losing her husband and she didn't know what she was
>>>>> supposed to do? I told her she needs to call me in these situations
>>>>> because I didn't know she was going in there today to do this. She is
>>>>> way more important to me than my job and I'd leave work to go help her.
>>>>> *sigh*
>>>>>
>>>> I'm not sure where you live, but I assume somewhere in the U.S. For
>>>> what possible reason would they require a death certificate? I have
>>>> disposed of quite a few cars over the years, and all that was ever
>>>> required was the pink slip. (And if that's unavailable, one can get a
>>>> duplicate.)
>>>
>>> If the vehicle in question is in your name, just having the "pink slip"
>>> (hereafter called a title) is all that's needed in order to sell it.
>>>
>>> If the vehicle's title is in the name of a deceased person (and no other
>>> person is listed, such as a surviving spouse or child/parent/sibling), the
>>> buyer should require a copy of the death certificate in order to ensure
>>> that they are not buying a stolen vehicle. Also helps with getting title
>>> of said vehicle transferred to the survivor's name to have a death
>>> certificate, since the owner simply cannot be there to sign it over.
>> So I could have sued my insurance company, when they allowed my ex to
>> collect the money, after he totalled my car? It was in my (maiden)
>> name, because I had bought it prior to our marriage - but of course the
>> replacement he bought was in his name. (Also it had standard
>> transmission, rather than automatic, so I couldn't drive it.)
>
> If the car is titled to the wife, then the wife should be named as the
> insured. Husbands and children who also drive the car are named as
> additional insureds. It's poor underwriting to issue a policy to
> someone who doesn't own the car.
>
> Bud

Oh, the policy was in my name, all right - I had it before we married.
Traveler's has a good reputation, but claims were handled through my
agent, so he may not have understood.

[EvelynVogtGamble(Divamanque)]

hopitus wrote:

> It is very easy to get certified copies of stuff like this in FL.
> There are so
> many old people there and they die so often that the state has made a
> high science of certified copy business. I needed one of my birth
> cert.
> from Miami (after many years using a cute little folder with a baby's
> pic
> on it from back in the day, LOL) to get a CO drivers license...due to
> the
> security issues after 9/11 with the DMV...I called and paid by phone,
> the
> certified copy arrived in 2 days. Administrative b.s. moves much more
> slowly here.

That's true - a lot of things have changed since 9/11! I had no trouble
getting an Arizona Drivers License, but I had a valid, unexpired
California license to show them. Even so, the cretin who wrote up the
Arizona license managed to spell my last name wrong, the first time and
I had to go back to have it corrected. (I noticed later that she made
my birthday January 29 instead of January 28, too, but I'm damned if I
go to the trouble of getting a duplicate birth certificate and going
back again just for THAT!)