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View Full Version : Tribewt tu Ralph, Alice, Charlotte, & Chuy


October 31st 15, 05:07 AM
[A black cat with a few small white spots walks up to the podium, followed by eight other cats -- some assured, some nervous, and two totally bewildered.]

Meow! I iz Fredrick T. Spawn uv da House of David. I is heer tu peigh tribewt to da hed uv mineown clowder, Ralph de Ralf; tu ar matreearch uv da clowder, Alice Ann Madre; and tu twu d*gz ov da howse, hoo were gud frenz tu da clowder and esphullee tu Ralph ana Alice, Charlotte Davidogue and Chuy Rex Davidogue.

Ralph de Ralf. Whut kin I seigh. It wud tayk a wurd fur every deigh ov his lif, nearly 7,300, tu efun start tu du him justis. He wuz fownd inna tree by owerownhumin wen he wuz jist a kitten, hollering his naym - "RALLLLLLPPPPHHHHH". She doptid him, effun dough she didn't want tu, ana luffed him effury deigh aftur dat. His sisfur, Laura Ann Mihstol (RB) lerned tu luff him tu. In fackt, effurwun lerned tu luff dat bi galloot. Ralph ana Laura mewed heer onna RPCC fur meny years. Dey made music, and met der wun troo lovs. Ralph met, winkwinked, and wedwinked Kissa of da Howse of Rennie.

Ralph wuz a luver ana he wuz a fiter.a sumowressler heer undur da nayme Da Ralphinator and caym closs tu defeeting da Great Girtha. He wuz also Sekritary uf Defenz ana uv Senyur Kittees. Du to a defective sekritaree, he hadn't postid much inna past yeerz.

Hizown biggist fite wuz aginst hizown failin kidneez. Wif hizownhumin'z help he fot fur tree yeers ana last yeer or sew he hadda eet ycuky fudz ana get stuck wif needullz dat put waddurmonsturz undur hiz skin.

Inna March he let hur kno dat he cudn't put off hiz jurnee eny longur. Shee cuddled him ana petted him ana rubbed hisownself's eerz. Den, wen he told hur da momint wuz at paw, she tuk him owt onna pattyo, rapped inna blankee, ana dey luked atta starz. She towld Ralph it wuz hookay tu leaf. Inna wee dark howurz uv March 17, twu weekz afore he wud bee twentee yeerz owld, he gafe a liddull shudder ana lept onna Rainbow Bridj.

<snif>

Alice Ann Madre fownd owerownselve'z humin wen Alice had kittenz inna wallz atta huminz work plaze. Shee wuznt feral likka humin thot sew she came tu uz. She luffed people ana most catz ana adoored skritchez, but shee ruled da howse wif an iron paw ana tot da d*gz tu respeckt catz. Hur fafforite fing, nekt tu fud, wuz cuddling wif mom onna couch ana bed.

Alice wuz alweighz hadda a nurfus stomch, probable cuz she had lotta kittenz wen she wuz jist a kitten. She also hadda lot uv furrballz cuz she washt alla uz (ana kept Ralph'z eerz kleen). She got reelee sik inna June ana had tu go tu TED. Dough TED tried furry hard, she cud not mayke Alice beddur sinze her pancreas ana liver got sik wif hur kidneez. She didn't want tu go wifowt a last cuddl sew da humin wint ana held hur wile TED helped hur cross da Rainbow Bridj onna July 6. She wuz problee onlee eight yeerz owld.

<snif>

Chalotte David*gue wuzn't wif uz long. She wuz rescued frum da desert almost ded frum no fudz or watur ana nursing puppeez. She tried to eet rockz ana dat hurt hur insidez. She got tu keet gudgud fudz ana all wattur she wantid fur offur a yeer before hur insidez cudn't get nutrishun frum da foodz. TED helpt hur cross da Rainbow Bridj onna April 21.

<snif>

Chuy Rex David*gue wuz wif uz fur bowt ten yeerz. He sed he wuznt a d*g but a chupacabra. Da humin sed he wuz a xolitizcuintle wich iz whut dey call a Mexican Hairless if dey want to bee correckt. He wuz a reskue, tew. He luffed da humin. He alsough loved Ralph ana Alice. Dat rest, wall, he likt catz ana people ana sum d*gz.

He had Vallee Feffur ana hart mumur ana uffer problimz. Diz summer hee started coughin ana TED sed dat hizown hart mumur wuz wuz ana he had COPD. He got moor pillz tu tayk. Den, jist twu weekz lattur, he had trubil breefing ana da humin wuz rushin him tu TED (itz a twu howr drife tu get der). Afore dey cud get der, Chuy crossed da Bridj tu be wif Ralph ana Alice.

[The black cat, still not used to being the head of his clowder, bows his head and lets the tears he had been holding back slip down his cheeks. He cheek smooches Jane, Ricky, Mary, Judith, Claude, Lilah, and the two newcomers Meggie & Cami. Maggie & Cami stay on the stage while the rest exit and take their seats.]

Sundance and/or Rebecca
October 31st 15, 07:41 AM
Fangu fur da luvly tribyoot to yurown fambly memfurz, Fredrick. Da whole komoonitee feelz dere loss.

Rebecca

M Patterson
October 31st 15, 12:17 PM
Mine Ajo friends, hello, we were so sorry to hear of all the Bridge journeys from your House dis past year.

Fangu for da lovely Tributes, we knew Ralph best but now know more of Alice, Charlotte and Chuy ... and can send our purrs more clearly on dis special night.

[Whispering gently to the two befuddled ladies.]

Very sad and confusing fings have been happening to you but, I promise, it will be better soon. Your new human has a huge heart and will love you very much.

Azad

November 1st 15, 05:23 AM
Diz iz da storee of Alice's jorna:

[A frail, bedraggled orange cat staggers forward and collapses, her front paws on the shimmering foot of the Rainbow Bridge. She tries to aim a stern stare at the huge white & grey tabby cat preventing her from going further but manages only a pitiful gaze.]

Ralph....Ralph....pleeeze. I kno I told yew I wud steigh heer ana manaj da clowder ana tayk kare uv owrownhumin, but I cant effn dough I want tew, I want tu sewww much. Mineown bodee iz failin ana no mattur hough hard I tri, it wont get beddur.

See, heer iz owrown mama. Sheez got waddur fallin frum hur eyez bud she haz told TED Linda dat shee knos dat dey need tu help me onna mineown jurney. Ize ben inna cajplaze fur a weak wif lotza medisun ana TED Linda sez nuffin iz helpin. Luk, effun TED ana hur sistant, da wun hoo tuk care uv me inna cajplaze, iz cryin. Ana mama's kitten Paula iz cryin. Der is sew much payne ana sadniss. I wud steigh ana mayk dem happee if I cud. Yew kno I wud.

Sew, pleeze Ralph, let mee com bee wif yew atta Rainbow Bridge. Help mee, pleeze.

[The big tomcat's face softens and, as he looks at his human, a tear slides down his cheek. He reaches out his paw and, as their human strokes Alice's head and the doctor pushes on the syringe plunger, he pulls Alice all the way onto the Bridge.]

Oh, Alice, Ize sorree. No wun knew yew were sew sick ana in payne. Yew tried to be strong - sew did I - but owr Erth bodeez arn't maid tu last fureffur. Fred will manaj da clowder ana luk after the humin. Ana der iz a speshull spot ware wee kin luk down ana chek onna alla dem.

[As they begin the walk up the Bridge, where Laura and Kissa and so many of their friends wait for them, the frail orange cat grows fat and sassy, her whiskers twitch, and she starts looking around.]

Ralph! Ar doze eerz cleen? Let me luk. Wall, I gess Laura & Kissa haf ben doing a gud job but....iz dat a whiskur owt uv plaze? Stop, let mee fix it. Ar mineown whiskurz strait?

[Then, at the top of the Bridge, before melting into the welcome party, Alice stops and takes a look backwards at the morose group of humans gathered around her old body. A tiny gold tear, the same color as her eyes, slips down her cheek and joins those streaming down the face of the human she loved best.]

Mama Gabrielle, yew reskued me wunz, wen I hadda kittinz inna walls and gafe me luv, ana wuntroohom, and fudz. Nough you haf rescued me agin. Fangu. Ana doughn't wurry, I will keep effurywun inna line heer until yew join uz.

[Clouds pass over the sun but at the Bridge, it is shining brightly as Alice Ann Madre starts her tenth life in the company of friends and loved ones.]