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View Full Version : Resident female cat does not accept new kitten Help!!!!!


Dan Coleman
July 23rd 03, 12:54 AM
My wife and I have an almost 5 year old neutered male cat and a just over 3
year old spayed female cat. We just got a female kitten who isn't spayed as
she is not yet old enough. The male was a bit wary at first but has
accepted her with great lengths - watching her, giving her baths, letting
her play with him, etc. He was the same way with his older sister (he gave
her baths and she actually suckled on his nipples). The problem is with the
older female. At first she couldn't be in the same room and if the kitten
got anywhere near her she hissed and growled - she never tried to physically
harm her but rather backs off and runs and hides in her favorite hiding spot
if the kitten gets too close. Also the male has become very protective of
the kitten and intervenes. The older female has pretty well always been
wary since we have got her - she generally hides if anyone else comes over
and even with us isn't very affectionate (she will lick my face if I'm
holding her and has developed a love for a back scratcher being rubbed
against her back and belly) - however, she is very attached to her big
brother and has always followed him around. While we are out of the house
we leave the kitten in a spare bedroom with the door closed with some food,
water, and one of our litter boxes so she doesn't get into too much trouble
and too allow the older female a break to wonder around the house. When we
are home we also take the kitten into the computer room in the basement for
a bit so the older cat can walk around the upstairs and main floor and eat
water. The older female otherwise has been hiding out under the bed in the
other spare bedroom (her favorite hiding spot). At night the kitten sleeps
in our room. We have now had the kitten for 1 night and 3 full days and
things do not seem to be getting any better for the older female. How long
will it take for her to warm up to the new kitten (if at all). I feel
really bad for the older female because this seems to very stressful for her
especially with her older brother protecting the kitten from her. Is there
anyway we can speed up the process. My wife gave the kitten a bath to see
if getting the smell of her birth mother off of her would help but it
doesn't seem to. Any replies would be appreciated

Thanks,

Dan

Karen Chuplis
July 23rd 03, 01:50 AM
in article , Dan Coleman at
wrote on 7/22/03 6:54 PM:

> My wife and I have an almost 5 year old neutered male cat and a just over 3
> year old spayed female cat. We just got a female kitten who isn't spayed as
> she is not yet old enough. The male was a bit wary at first but has
> accepted her with great lengths - watching her, giving her baths, letting
> her play with him, etc. He was the same way with his older sister (he gave
> her baths and she actually suckled on his nipples). The problem is with the
> older female. At first she couldn't be in the same room and if the kitten
> got anywhere near her she hissed and growled - she never tried to physically
> harm her but rather backs off and runs and hides in her favorite hiding spot
> if the kitten gets too close. Also the male has become very protective of
> the kitten and intervenes. The older female has pretty well always been
> wary since we have got her - she generally hides if anyone else comes over
> and even with us isn't very affectionate (she will lick my face if I'm
> holding her and has developed a love for a back scratcher being rubbed
> against her back and belly) - however, she is very attached to her big
> brother and has always followed him around. While we are out of the house
> we leave the kitten in a spare bedroom with the door closed with some food,
> water, and one of our litter boxes so she doesn't get into too much trouble
> and too allow the older female a break to wonder around the house. When we
> are home we also take the kitten into the computer room in the basement for
> a bit so the older cat can walk around the upstairs and main floor and eat
> water. The older female otherwise has been hiding out under the bed in the
> other spare bedroom (her favorite hiding spot). At night the kitten sleeps
> in our room. We have now had the kitten for 1 night and 3 full days and
> things do not seem to be getting any better for the older female. How long
> will it take for her to warm up to the new kitten (if at all). I feel
> really bad for the older female because this seems to very stressful for her
> especially with her older brother protecting the kitten from her. Is there
> anyway we can speed up the process. My wife gave the kitten a bath to see
> if getting the smell of her birth mother off of her would help but it
> doesn't seem to. Any replies would be appreciated
>
> Thanks,
>
> Dan
>
>
It just takes time. What you have mentioned is a very normal reaction and
three days is just not very long. I would keep the kitten away from the
female with only very short introductory periods. Sometimes you won't see a
level of warm up for months, but I would guess that with a kitten she will
begin coming around in two weeks or so. Be sure to give the female a lot of
extra attention so she realizes she is not being "replaced".


karen

Karen Chuplis
July 23rd 03, 01:50 AM
in article , Dan Coleman at
wrote on 7/22/03 6:54 PM:

> My wife and I have an almost 5 year old neutered male cat and a just over 3
> year old spayed female cat. We just got a female kitten who isn't spayed as
> she is not yet old enough. The male was a bit wary at first but has
> accepted her with great lengths - watching her, giving her baths, letting
> her play with him, etc. He was the same way with his older sister (he gave
> her baths and she actually suckled on his nipples). The problem is with the
> older female. At first she couldn't be in the same room and if the kitten
> got anywhere near her she hissed and growled - she never tried to physically
> harm her but rather backs off and runs and hides in her favorite hiding spot
> if the kitten gets too close. Also the male has become very protective of
> the kitten and intervenes. The older female has pretty well always been
> wary since we have got her - she generally hides if anyone else comes over
> and even with us isn't very affectionate (she will lick my face if I'm
> holding her and has developed a love for a back scratcher being rubbed
> against her back and belly) - however, she is very attached to her big
> brother and has always followed him around. While we are out of the house
> we leave the kitten in a spare bedroom with the door closed with some food,
> water, and one of our litter boxes so she doesn't get into too much trouble
> and too allow the older female a break to wonder around the house. When we
> are home we also take the kitten into the computer room in the basement for
> a bit so the older cat can walk around the upstairs and main floor and eat
> water. The older female otherwise has been hiding out under the bed in the
> other spare bedroom (her favorite hiding spot). At night the kitten sleeps
> in our room. We have now had the kitten for 1 night and 3 full days and
> things do not seem to be getting any better for the older female. How long
> will it take for her to warm up to the new kitten (if at all). I feel
> really bad for the older female because this seems to very stressful for her
> especially with her older brother protecting the kitten from her. Is there
> anyway we can speed up the process. My wife gave the kitten a bath to see
> if getting the smell of her birth mother off of her would help but it
> doesn't seem to. Any replies would be appreciated
>
> Thanks,
>
> Dan
>
>
It just takes time. What you have mentioned is a very normal reaction and
three days is just not very long. I would keep the kitten away from the
female with only very short introductory periods. Sometimes you won't see a
level of warm up for months, but I would guess that with a kitten she will
begin coming around in two weeks or so. Be sure to give the female a lot of
extra attention so she realizes she is not being "replaced".


karen

Bill
July 23rd 03, 04:55 PM
>"Karen Chuplis" > wrote in message
...
> in article , Dan Coleman at
> wrote on 7/22/03 6:54 PM:
>
> > My wife and I have an almost 5 year old neutered male cat and a just
over 3
> > year old spayed female cat. We just got a female kitten who isn't
spayed as
> > she is not yet old enough. The male was a bit wary at first but has
> > accepted her with great lengths - watching her, giving her baths,
letting
> > her play with him, etc. He was the same way with his older sister (he
gave
> > her baths and she actually suckled on his nipples). The problem is with
the
> > older female. At first she couldn't be in the same room and if the
kitten
> > got anywhere near her she hissed and growled - she never tried to
physically
> > harm her but rather backs off and runs and hides in her favorite hiding
spot
> > if the kitten gets too close. Also the male has become very protective
of
> > the kitten and intervenes. The older female has pretty well always been
> > wary since we have got her - she generally hides if anyone else comes
over
> > and even with us isn't very affectionate (she will lick my face if I'm
> > holding her and has developed a love for a back scratcher being rubbed
> > against her back and belly) - however, she is very attached to her big
> > brother and has always followed him around. While we are out of the
house
> > we leave the kitten in a spare bedroom with the door closed with some
food,
> > water, and one of our litter boxes so she doesn't get into too much
trouble
> > and too allow the older female a break to wonder around the house.
When we
> > are home we also take the kitten into the computer room in the basement
for
> > a bit so the older cat can walk around the upstairs and main floor and
eat
> > water. The older female otherwise has been hiding out under the bed in
the
> > other spare bedroom (her favorite hiding spot). At night the kitten
sleeps
> > in our room. We have now had the kitten for 1 night and 3 full days and
> > things do not seem to be getting any better for the older female. How
long
> > will it take for her to warm up to the new kitten (if at all). I feel
> > really bad for the older female because this seems to very stressful for
her
> > especially with her older brother protecting the kitten from her. Is
there
> > anyway we can speed up the process. My wife gave the kitten a bath to
see
> > if getting the smell of her birth mother off of her would help but it
> > doesn't seem to. Any replies would be appreciated
> >
> > Thanks,
> >
> > Dan
> >
> >
> It just takes time. What you have mentioned is a very normal reaction and
> three days is just not very long. I would keep the kitten away from the
> female with only very short introductory periods. Sometimes you won't see
a
> level of warm up for months, but I would guess that with a kitten she will
> begin coming around in two weeks or so. Be sure to give the female a lot
of
> extra attention so she realizes she is not being "replaced".
>
>
> karen
>

I agree. A couple of months is a minimum time for things to settle down.

If you want to speed things up, some people report success using the Feliway
spray or plug-in to get cats to get along. Others like a product called
Rescue Remedy.

It would probably be more helpful, instead of giving the kitten a bath, to
rub a towel on the adult cat, then on the kitten, then back on the adult.
This will transfer the smell of the adult cat to the kitten and the kitten
to the adult cat so they begin to smell alike. Some people report putting a
drop of vanilla extract on the tail of each cat helps them "smell alike".
Cats perceive the world through their sense of smell much more than people
do.

Good luck.

Bill

Bill
July 23rd 03, 04:55 PM
>"Karen Chuplis" > wrote in message
...
> in article , Dan Coleman at
> wrote on 7/22/03 6:54 PM:
>
> > My wife and I have an almost 5 year old neutered male cat and a just
over 3
> > year old spayed female cat. We just got a female kitten who isn't
spayed as
> > she is not yet old enough. The male was a bit wary at first but has
> > accepted her with great lengths - watching her, giving her baths,
letting
> > her play with him, etc. He was the same way with his older sister (he
gave
> > her baths and she actually suckled on his nipples). The problem is with
the
> > older female. At first she couldn't be in the same room and if the
kitten
> > got anywhere near her she hissed and growled - she never tried to
physically
> > harm her but rather backs off and runs and hides in her favorite hiding
spot
> > if the kitten gets too close. Also the male has become very protective
of
> > the kitten and intervenes. The older female has pretty well always been
> > wary since we have got her - she generally hides if anyone else comes
over
> > and even with us isn't very affectionate (she will lick my face if I'm
> > holding her and has developed a love for a back scratcher being rubbed
> > against her back and belly) - however, she is very attached to her big
> > brother and has always followed him around. While we are out of the
house
> > we leave the kitten in a spare bedroom with the door closed with some
food,
> > water, and one of our litter boxes so she doesn't get into too much
trouble
> > and too allow the older female a break to wonder around the house.
When we
> > are home we also take the kitten into the computer room in the basement
for
> > a bit so the older cat can walk around the upstairs and main floor and
eat
> > water. The older female otherwise has been hiding out under the bed in
the
> > other spare bedroom (her favorite hiding spot). At night the kitten
sleeps
> > in our room. We have now had the kitten for 1 night and 3 full days and
> > things do not seem to be getting any better for the older female. How
long
> > will it take for her to warm up to the new kitten (if at all). I feel
> > really bad for the older female because this seems to very stressful for
her
> > especially with her older brother protecting the kitten from her. Is
there
> > anyway we can speed up the process. My wife gave the kitten a bath to
see
> > if getting the smell of her birth mother off of her would help but it
> > doesn't seem to. Any replies would be appreciated
> >
> > Thanks,
> >
> > Dan
> >
> >
> It just takes time. What you have mentioned is a very normal reaction and
> three days is just not very long. I would keep the kitten away from the
> female with only very short introductory periods. Sometimes you won't see
a
> level of warm up for months, but I would guess that with a kitten she will
> begin coming around in two weeks or so. Be sure to give the female a lot
of
> extra attention so she realizes she is not being "replaced".
>
>
> karen
>

I agree. A couple of months is a minimum time for things to settle down.

If you want to speed things up, some people report success using the Feliway
spray or plug-in to get cats to get along. Others like a product called
Rescue Remedy.

It would probably be more helpful, instead of giving the kitten a bath, to
rub a towel on the adult cat, then on the kitten, then back on the adult.
This will transfer the smell of the adult cat to the kitten and the kitten
to the adult cat so they begin to smell alike. Some people report putting a
drop of vanilla extract on the tail of each cat helps them "smell alike".
Cats perceive the world through their sense of smell much more than people
do.

Good luck.

Bill