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View Full Version : 4 days with my kitten.. please help :)


January 14th 05, 10:39 PM
Hi all...

execuse me if this thread is too long for u, but this is my broken
heart talkin.. also, English isnt my =F3riginal language.. so mind my
poor grammer and typos :)

right now ,i'm writing this thread and feeing soo sad, i never felt
this way, exept in goodbyes,u know how it feels...
it's been 1 day,since i returned the kitten.. and i'm still feeling
empty and lonely without my kitten. it's soo painful to be that
hesitant about whether i get the kitten back or leave her..im thinking
of this matter all day long, i even dreamt about it..

it's not like that common situation where some body owns a cat for 10
yrs, then suddenly it dies.. no. i got this kitten (persian-2
months-female). for only 4 days.now i'm grieving her absence.

the idea of having a cat in my head was just curiousity..i wasn't too
serious about it.. i wanted to know how it's like to live with a cat..
now that i got it, and then returned it..

I feel so empty and guilty.. the reason i feel guilty right now, cos
i'm thinking that the poor kitten has adapted with me and my place, and
maybe she was happy with me.. then the day i decided to return it back
(i wasn't completelty satisfied about leaving the kitten) but there was
some things that forced me (now i see them as redeculas) like it kept
urinating on the carpet.. i put a box filled with sand and i put her in
it, she kept messing the carpet until the last day, then she used the
litter box twice.. that was good, so this problem was solved.. now my
mother she kept saying the cat is dirty u cannot let her bounce over ur
bed.. (some times she slept with me) also my mother wouldn't like the
sight of her bouncing over the expensive sofas and kitchen table.

inside of me i also wanted to get rid of her (only because i had
thoughts that the kitten might get hurt in my house) cos i'm not living
in a small apartment, i live in a big house.. so i think she will get
lost.. plus i think i will get exhausted of thinking that the kitten
might get hurt (it's like an obsesion) i'm afraid since we have stairs,
it might fall from that hight).


I thought that the sooner i leave her, the easier it would be, so i
wouldn't be so attached to her.i was wrong, i don't know how i got soo
attached to this kitten that it made me weep for hours, i really miss
her...

please help me, i really feel guilty of leaving the little kitten..(she
will be with a friend, then she will sell it since i didn't want her)
but i'm really having second thoughts...

i'm asking you to correct me if i'm thinking wrong:

-do you think that the kitten got used to me and adapted to me and my
place and now she's wondering where am i ? by living with me for only 4
days? are cats in general get attached with people that they get sad or
miss their owners?

-i will be out of town soon, so do u think that even if i didn't return
the cat,, and then when i come back.. the cat will not be remembering
me? or will she still recognise me?

-does this kitten get hurt easily? like could she jump from hights? or
does she know that she will get hurt if she jumps from hights?

-if i wash her every 3 days, will she still be not that clean to get in
my bed or on the couche?

-can i prevent her from getting on the kitchen table or on other spots
i don't want her to be? will she do it by simply telling her not to?
and then learn not to jump over that couche for example?

-i feel like she's sudden attacking things.. like she makes sudden
moves that she scares me sometimes, is that her just playing?

-sometimes she gets like restless, she runs every where, then suddenly
stops, then runs again (in an unnatural way) is that her searching a
place to urinate? i did put her in the litter box when i see her acts
this way. then she does it on the carpet.

-the most thing i'm afraid of is that some of my family memebers might
slam the door while she tries to get in that room, then... bam! i soo
don't want this to happen, is this accedint possible to happen?

now, i want to get her back. but those things i think about, make me
hesitate so much.. please i need your reply asap! :)
thank you soo much in advance

Dave McMahon
January 14th 05, 11:29 PM
Where was the cat returned to??? Maybe you can visit?? Kittens can be
trained to anything and will keep the mice/rats etc down especially if the
mother was a good hunter. Don't feel guilty instead make a decision. If the
place you got her from is a cattery make a donation, then her upkeep will be
covered. Cats like all animals are tough really so as long as she goes to a
good home she will be okay. You can also adopt animals and get pics and
letters sometimes. Most zoos do this.

Don't feel bad.

Dave McMahon
> wrote in message
ups.com...
Hi all...

execuse me if this thread is too long for u, but this is my broken
heart talkin.. also, English isnt my óriginal language.. so mind my
poor grammer and typos :)

right now ,i'm writing this thread and feeing soo sad, i never felt
this way, exept in goodbyes,u know how it feels...
it's been 1 day,since i returned the kitten.. and i'm still feeling
empty and lonely without my kitten. it's soo painful to be that
hesitant about whether i get the kitten back or leave her..im thinking
of this matter all day long, i even dreamt about it..

it's not like that common situation where some body owns a cat for 10
yrs, then suddenly it dies.. no. i got this kitten (persian-2
months-female). for only 4 days.now i'm grieving her absence.

the idea of having a cat in my head was just curiousity..i wasn't too
serious about it.. i wanted to know how it's like to live with a cat..
now that i got it, and then returned it..

I feel so empty and guilty.. the reason i feel guilty right now, cos
i'm thinking that the poor kitten has adapted with me and my place, and
maybe she was happy with me.. then the day i decided to return it back
(i wasn't completelty satisfied about leaving the kitten) but there was
some things that forced me (now i see them as redeculas) like it kept
urinating on the carpet.. i put a box filled with sand and i put her in
it, she kept messing the carpet until the last day, then she used the
litter box twice.. that was good, so this problem was solved.. now my
mother she kept saying the cat is dirty u cannot let her bounce over ur
bed.. (some times she slept with me) also my mother wouldn't like the
sight of her bouncing over the expensive sofas and kitchen table.

inside of me i also wanted to get rid of her (only because i had
thoughts that the kitten might get hurt in my house) cos i'm not living
in a small apartment, i live in a big house.. so i think she will get
lost.. plus i think i will get exhausted of thinking that the kitten
might get hurt (it's like an obsesion) i'm afraid since we have stairs,
it might fall from that hight).


I thought that the sooner i leave her, the easier it would be, so i
wouldn't be so attached to her.i was wrong, i don't know how i got soo
attached to this kitten that it made me weep for hours, i really miss
her...

please help me, i really feel guilty of leaving the little kitten..(she
will be with a friend, then she will sell it since i didn't want her)
but i'm really having second thoughts...

i'm asking you to correct me if i'm thinking wrong:

-do you think that the kitten got used to me and adapted to me and my
place and now she's wondering where am i ? by living with me for only 4
days? are cats in general get attached with people that they get sad or
miss their owners?

-i will be out of town soon, so do u think that even if i didn't return
the cat,, and then when i come back.. the cat will not be remembering
me? or will she still recognise me?

-does this kitten get hurt easily? like could she jump from hights? or
does she know that she will get hurt if she jumps from hights?

-if i wash her every 3 days, will she still be not that clean to get in
my bed or on the couche?

-can i prevent her from getting on the kitchen table or on other spots
i don't want her to be? will she do it by simply telling her not to?
and then learn not to jump over that couche for example?

-i feel like she's sudden attacking things.. like she makes sudden
moves that she scares me sometimes, is that her just playing?

-sometimes she gets like restless, she runs every where, then suddenly
stops, then runs again (in an unnatural way) is that her searching a
place to urinate? i did put her in the litter box when i see her acts
this way. then she does it on the carpet.

-the most thing i'm afraid of is that some of my family memebers might
slam the door while she tries to get in that room, then... bam! i soo
don't want this to happen, is this accedint possible to happen?

now, i want to get her back. but those things i think about, make me
hesitate so much.. please i need your reply asap! :)
thank you soo much in advance

January 15th 05, 12:53 AM
Dave McMahon wrote:
> Where was the cat returned to???

a friend of mine has a new mom cat. the cat gave birth to 5 kittens
maybe, she offered to sell me a kitten, so the kitten is originally
hers, but she doesn't need any more cats cos she already has one. she's
gonna sell the kitten i returned.

i'm just worried that if i get the kitten back, my house wouldn't be so
save..or she would get hurt. and if i just leave her, she will miss
me... does cats miss people they been with for 4 days?
i asked if a kitten gets hurt easily..

Margaret
January 15th 05, 02:57 AM
On 14 Jan 2005 14:39:49 -0800, wrote:

/snip/

> the idea of having a cat in my head was just curiousity..i wasn't too
> serious about it.. i wanted to know how it's like to live with a cat..

I think that was very wise of you. It sounds like you're thinking a lot
about this and you would probably be a very good cat owner.


> now that i got it, and then returned it..
>
> I feel so empty and guilty.. the reason i feel guilty right now, cos
> i'm thinking that the poor kitten has adapted with me and my place,

You could phone your friend and ask if the kitten seems sad. More likely the
kitten is happy to be back with her litter mates and her mother.

/snip/

> now my
> mother she kept saying the cat is dirty u cannot let her bounce over ur
> bed.. (some times she slept with me) also my mother wouldn't like the
> sight of her bouncing over the expensive sofas and kitchen table.

That is the only problem that sounds serious to me: your mother's attitude.
A kitten will want to bounce over everything. It could be kept off the table
but probably not off the sofas or bed.

>
> inside of me i also wanted to get rid of her (only because i had
> thoughts that the kitten might get hurt in my house) cos i'm not living
> in a small apartment, i live in a big house.. so i think she will get
> lost..

Not likely. If she gets lost, she will cry and you will find her, and she
won't get lost a second time, she will learn her way around. The bigger the
house the better, she will have room for exercise and won't get bored. If
your mother wants to shut her out of some rooms, she can play in other
rooms.


> plus i think i will get exhausted of thinking that the kitten
> might get hurt (it's like an obsesion) i'm afraid since we have stairs,
> it might fall from that hight).

Not likely to be a danger, unless perhaps the floor is very slick. You might
hang some cloth or netting over the banisters so she couldn't fall through.


> I thought that the sooner i leave her, the easier it would be, so i
> wouldn't be so attached to her.i was wrong, i don't know how i got soo
> attached to this kitten that it made me weep for hours, i really miss
> her...
>
> please help me, i really feel guilty of leaving the little kitten..(she
> will be with a friend, then she will sell it since i didn't want her)

You might talk to your friend about that. What about saying you will pay for
the kitten if the friend keeps it as long as it wants to stay with the
friend? Maybe you and your mother could visit it there, and later as it
calms down your mother would change her mind.


> but i'm really having second thoughts...
>
> i'm asking you to correct me if i'm thinking wrong:
>
> -do you think that the kitten got used to me and adapted to me and my
> place and now she's wondering where am i ? by living with me for only 4
> days? are cats in general get attached with people that they get sad or
> miss their owners?

Probably not in just four days, if it is now back with it's littermates and
its mother.

>
> -i will be out of town soon, so do u think that even if i didn't return
> the cat,, and then when i come back.. the cat will not be remembering
> me? or will she still recognise me?

How long will you be out of town? Probably it's better for the kitten to
stay with its mother while you're gone than to stay with your mother. <joke>

/snip/

> -if i wash her every 3 days, will she still be not that clean to get in
> my bed or on the couche?

That might be a problem, but it may be your mother's imagination. If the
house is clean, how would the cat get dirty? If you wash the kitten it might
catch cold. Cats and kittens usually don't need washing, they keep
themselves clean. If she is too young to keep herself clean, she should be
back with her own mother.


> -can i prevent her from getting on the kitchen table or on other spots
> i don't want her to be? will she do it by simply telling her not to?

Yes, she can be taught about tables.


> and then learn not to jump over that couche for example?

I'm not sure about that. Cats do love couches.


>
> -i feel like she's sudden attacking things.. like she makes sudden
> moves that she scares me sometimes, is that her just playing?


That's normal.

>
> -sometimes she gets like restless, she runs every where, then suddenly
> stops, then runs again (in an unnatural way) is that her searching a
> place to urinate? i did put her in the litter box when i see her acts
> this way. then she does it on the carpet.

Not sure what you mean here. Running first one way and another is playing
for kittens. Better have a vet check her.


>
> -the most thing i'm afraid of is that some of my family memebers might
> slam the door while she tries to get in that room, then... bam! i soo
> don't want this to happen, is this accedint possible to happen?

It doesn't often happen if people understand cats. What about having your
friend or someone else who knows cats visit your home with the kitten and
watch how your family acts and see if they are treating her right.

Anyway if you are leaving town, you might wait till you get back before
deciding anything. Maybe your mother will get lonesome for the kitten too.
<smile>


Good luck,
Margaret

Mary
January 15th 05, 03:33 AM
> wrote in message
oups.com...
> Dave McMahon wrote:
> > Where was the cat returned to???
>
> a friend of mine has a new mom cat. the cat gave birth to 5 kittens
> maybe, she offered to sell me a kitten, so the kitten is originally
> hers, but she doesn't need any more cats cos she already has one. she's
> gonna sell the kitten i returned.
>
> i'm just worried that if i get the kitten back, my house wouldn't be so
> save..or she would get hurt. and if i just leave her, she will miss
> me... does cats miss people they been with for 4 days?
> i asked if a kitten gets hurt easily..
>

Go back and get that cat and learn about how to
train them not to pee outside the box, and other things.
Of course the kitten misses you. They have feelings like
everyone else. Your post tells me that you want to do
the right thing. Go get her and do some reading about
how to live happily with her. She could be the light of
your life one day. Maybe your Mom's too.

Mary
January 15th 05, 03:35 AM
> wrote in message
ups.com...
Hi all...


now my
mother she kept saying the cat is dirty u cannot let her bounce over ur
bed.. (some times she slept with me) also my mother wouldn't like the
sight of her bouncing over the expensive sofas and kitchen table.


P.S.--Educate your mother. Cats are very clean. Kittens, like
other babies, need a little bit of training. You were doing that.
Good for you! (And when can you move out on your own?)

January 15th 05, 12:29 PM
Thanks Mary, and Margaret for your very satisfying answer! :)

i will be out of town for 9 days... so will she be forgetting about me
if i'm gone that long?
how about if the kitten saw the door open and wanted to get out side
the house? there are many street cats in my neighborhood..
will it take long to prevent the kitten from jumping over some spots?
i rememebr when i took her and put her in the cage, she couldn't stop
saying meos... hmm was that crying? then when i opened the cage in the
friend's apartment.. she got out and ran around... rediscovering the
place i think.. then i got out without saying goodbyes to the kitten...
i just want the kitten to be happy.. some times i just tell my self,
that's it! i'll get it back.. then 20 seconds later i think maybe it's
better without her.. and so on
i know i have a problem in not being able to decide at all..

Margaret
January 15th 05, 08:20 PM
On 15 Jan 2005 04:29:43 -0800, wrote:

> Thanks Mary, and Margaret for your very satisfying answer! :)
>
> i will be out of town for 9 days... so will she be forgetting about me
> if i'm gone that long?

Maybe, but it's better for her to be with her mother cat and littermates
till you are home and ready to spend time with her. For her to spend 9 days
without you OR her old cat-family would not be good.

/snip/

> i rememebr when i took her and put her in the cage, she couldn't stop
> saying meos... hmm was that crying?

It's normal not to like being in a cage.


> then when i opened the cage in the
> friend's apartment.. she got out and ran around... rediscovering the
> place i think.. then i got out without saying goodbyes to the kitten...
> i just want the kitten to be happy..

She's certainly happy with her own cat-family now. When you get back you can
decide.


Margaret

Mary
January 15th 05, 10:01 PM
> wrote in message
ups.com...
> Thanks Mary, and Margaret for your very satisfying answer! :)
>
> i will be out of town for 9 days... so will she be forgetting about me
> if i'm gone that long?

No, but what is the purpose of this question?


> how about if the kitten saw the door open and wanted to get out side
> the house? there are many street cats in my neighborhood..

You have to keep the door closed and keep her in.


> will it take long to prevent the kitten from jumping over some spots?
> i rememebr when i took her and put her in the cage, she couldn't stop
> saying meos... hmm was that crying? then when i opened the cage in the
> friend's apartment.. she got out and ran around... rediscovering the
> place i think.. then i got out without saying goodbyes to the kitten...
> i just want the kitten to be happy.. some times i just tell my self,
> that's it! i'll get it back.. then 20 seconds later i think maybe it's
> better without her.. and so on
> i know i have a problem in not being able to decide at all..
>

You do. Learn to take the leap and commit to something. It will
do you good. However, if you cannot commit to this kitten for
life, then leave it along.

Mary
January 15th 05, 10:02 PM
"Margaret" > wrote in message
...
> On 15 Jan 2005 04:29:43 -0800, wrote:
>
> > Thanks Mary, and Margaret for your very satisfying answer! :)
> >
> > i will be out of town for 9 days... so will she be forgetting about me
> > if i'm gone that long?
>
> Maybe, but it's better for her to be with her mother cat and littermates
> till you are home and ready to spend time with her. For her to spend 9
days
> without you OR her old cat-family would not be good.
>
> /snip/
>
> > i rememebr when i took her and put her in the cage, she couldn't stop
> > saying meos... hmm was that crying?
>
> It's normal not to like being in a cage.
>
>
> > then when i opened the cage in the
> > friend's apartment.. she got out and ran around... rediscovering the
> > place i think.. then i got out without saying goodbyes to the kitten...
> > i just want the kitten to be happy..
>
> She's certainly happy with her own cat-family now. When you get back you
can
> decide.
>
>
I think Margaret is right here.

Margaret
January 15th 05, 10:16 PM
On Sat, 15 Jan 2005 22:01:40 GMT, Mary wrote:

> > wrote in message
> ups.com...
> > Thanks Mary, and Margaret for your very satisfying answer! :)
> >
> > i will be out of town for 9 days...

/snip/

> However, if you cannot commit to this kitten for
> life, then leave it along.


Even if she does decide now to commit for life, I still think the kitten
would be better to stay with her littermates for the 9 days while Chocolate
Girl is out of town.

Sorry if my other post wasn't clear. :)


Margaret

mlbriggs
January 16th 05, 07:07 PM
On Sat, 15 Jan 2005 04:29:43 -0800, chocolate_girl_84 wrote:

> Thanks Mary, and Margaret for your very satisfying answer! :)
>
> i will be out of town for 9 days... so will she be forgetting about me
> if i'm gone that long?
> how about if the kitten saw the door open and wanted to get out side
> the house? there are many street cats in my neighborhood..
> will it take long to prevent the kitten from jumping over some spots?
> i rememebr when i took her and put her in the cage, she couldn't stop
> saying meos... hmm was that crying? then when i opened the cage in the
> friend's apartment.. she got out and ran around... rediscovering the
> place i think.. then i got out without saying goodbyes to the kitten...
> i just want the kitten to be happy.. some times i just tell my self,
> that's it! i'll get it back.. then 20 seconds later i think maybe it's
> better without her.. and so on
> i know i have a problem in not being able to decide at all..


Time for recipes!

Mary
January 18th 05, 04:39 AM
"mlbriggs" > wrote in message
...
> On Sat, 15 Jan 2005 04:29:43 -0800, chocolate_girl_84 wrote:
>
> > Thanks Mary, and Margaret for your very satisfying answer! :)
> >
> > i will be out of town for 9 days... so will she be forgetting about me
> > if i'm gone that long?
> > how about if the kitten saw the door open and wanted to get out side
> > the house? there are many street cats in my neighborhood..
> > will it take long to prevent the kitten from jumping over some spots?
> > i rememebr when i took her and put her in the cage, she couldn't stop
> > saying meos... hmm was that crying? then when i opened the cage in the
> > friend's apartment.. she got out and ran around... rediscovering the
> > place i think.. then i got out without saying goodbyes to the kitten...
> > i just want the kitten to be happy.. some times i just tell my self,
> > that's it! i'll get it back.. then 20 seconds later i think maybe it's
> > better without her.. and so on
> > i know i have a problem in not being able to decide at all..
>
>
> Time for recipes!
>

I was thinking the same thing. AFTER I got sucked in to replying, of course.
*shaking my head*