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MaryLyon
December 9th 05, 08:42 PM
Greetings:

Thanks to all who gave me such interesting advice on how to help my
husband's cat stop hating my guts. We took many of the comments to
heart and put them to use. I stopped bringing the broom with me
whenever I was around the cat - I didn't want him to see me as a
threat. We began letting the cat into the bedroom so he could lounge on
the bed all day and sleep with us at night. In addition, we spent a
lot of time with my husband petting him with me around (all three of us
on the bed), with me petting and cooing, too, so kitty would associate
me with good feelings. I also became the exclusive feeder and
treat-giver.

Things improved slightly, and kitty even cuddled up with me and purred
and made biscuits on my stomach a couple of times. I thought we had
finally solved the problem - he had access to my husband, the bed, and
lots more positive attention. But unfortunately, he has slowly become
even more brazenly aggressive. He attacked me in my face earlier this
week, slicing my eyelid and giving me a couple of nasty scratches on my
cheek. He regularly terrorizes me if I'm alone with him in the bedroom.
He will stalk me and pounce at me, tail waving and with a menacing look
on his face - definitely NOT playing. Last night, he attacked me (on
face and arm) in my SLEEP, which was really really scary. I have become
increasingly afraid of this cat, which is so uncomfortable, because I
love all animals. I do not want to even consider giving him away (which
my husband has suggested) because I believe animals are a lifetime
commitment. But I'm starting to wonder if this is beginning to cross
the line...my family - all long-time cat lovers, are appalled at the
problems I'm having with this guy (cat, not husband). I've become
almost too scared to sleep with this cat around, wondering what he'll
do to me next!

We consulted with a local cat veterinarian today, and he suggested
squirting the cat with water when he goes after me. I was surprised by
this advice, but the vet said that the cat hates me so much already,
that every time I shrink from him or allow him to run me out of the
room, he feels like he was won. He said that my feeding the cat and
giving him treats only enhances my submissive position, in the cat's
eyes. The vet suggested that this is purely a control issue, and that I
have to assert my authority with the water squirting. He also suggested
Feliway might help kitty feel less aggressive. He, like many of you,
did not want to try medication except as a last resort, which I was
very glad to hear.

Has anyone had a cat become MORE aggressive, even when everyone is
trying to make him feel more loved and welcome? I always thought
heirarchy issues were more the domain of dogs than cats. Also, what is
the line for completely intolerable behavior? I know many people would
say scratching me in the eye ( my husband, who LOVES this cat, was so
horrified when I emerrged, bleeding, from the other room), but I don't
want to give up on this guy! I believe he can be reformed, and that we
can have a nice relationship! Or am I just fooling myself?

Thanks -
Amy :)

CatNipped
December 9th 05, 08:52 PM
"MaryLyon" > wrote in message
oups.com...
> Greetings:
>
> Thanks to all who gave me such interesting advice on how to help my
> husband's cat stop hating my guts. We took many of the comments to
> heart and put them to use. I stopped bringing the broom with me
> whenever I was around the cat - I didn't want him to see me as a
> threat. We began letting the cat into the bedroom so he could lounge on
> the bed all day and sleep with us at night. In addition, we spent a
> lot of time with my husband petting him with me around (all three of us
> on the bed), with me petting and cooing, too, so kitty would associate
> me with good feelings. I also became the exclusive feeder and
> treat-giver.
>
> Things improved slightly, and kitty even cuddled up with me and purred
> and made biscuits on my stomach a couple of times. I thought we had
> finally solved the problem - he had access to my husband, the bed, and
> lots more positive attention. But unfortunately, he has slowly become
> even more brazenly aggressive. He attacked me in my face earlier this
> week, slicing my eyelid and giving me a couple of nasty scratches on my
> cheek. He regularly terrorizes me if I'm alone with him in the bedroom.
> He will stalk me and pounce at me, tail waving and with a menacing look
> on his face - definitely NOT playing. Last night, he attacked me (on
> face and arm) in my SLEEP, which was really really scary. I have become
> increasingly afraid of this cat, which is so uncomfortable, because I
> love all animals. I do not want to even consider giving him away (which
> my husband has suggested) because I believe animals are a lifetime
> commitment. But I'm starting to wonder if this is beginning to cross
> the line...my family - all long-time cat lovers, are appalled at the
> problems I'm having with this guy (cat, not husband). I've become
> almost too scared to sleep with this cat around, wondering what he'll
> do to me next!
>
> We consulted with a local cat veterinarian today, and he suggested
> squirting the cat with water when he goes after me. I was surprised by
> this advice, but the vet said that the cat hates me so much already,
> that every time I shrink from him or allow him to run me out of the
> room, he feels like he was won. He said that my feeding the cat and
> giving him treats only enhances my submissive position, in the cat's
> eyes. The vet suggested that this is purely a control issue, and that I
> have to assert my authority with the water squirting. He also suggested
> Feliway might help kitty feel less aggressive. He, like many of you,
> did not want to try medication except as a last resort, which I was
> very glad to hear.
>
> Has anyone had a cat become MORE aggressive, even when everyone is
> trying to make him feel more loved and welcome? I always thought
> heirarchy issues were more the domain of dogs than cats. Also, what is
> the line for completely intolerable behavior? I know many people would
> say scratching me in the eye ( my husband, who LOVES this cat, was so
> horrified when I emerrged, bleeding, from the other room), but I don't
> want to give up on this guy! I believe he can be reformed, and that we
> can have a nice relationship! Or am I just fooling myself?
>
> Thanks -
> Amy :)

I think he has already crossed the line. As much as I love cats, and have
put up with my "Bitch Cat From Hell" biting and scratching me, I still
wouldn't risk losing my eye or other serious injury. Not that I would give
the cat away, but you definitely need to keep him away from you until you
are sure he won't injure you again. I would seriously consider, at least
temporarily, medicating the cat. Vets now-a-days are a lot more
knowledgeable about this and yours should be able to safely prescribe
something that will keep your cat from attacking you.

Hugs,

CatNipped

Willow
December 9th 05, 09:19 PM
Cat's getting what he wants, more attention... and scaring you away when he
wants to.. why should he stop?

Gaya learned the hard way not to jump my face.. once and for all... now
she's cuddly, purring and totally loving but when she gets aggressive, one
look from me sends her looking for another victim.. generally the dog..

There's a world between beating up animals and teaching your cat that
cutting open your face is not going to go.
--
Will~

"... so that's how liberty ends, in a round of applause."

Queen Amidala, The revenge of the Syth.


"MaryLyon" > wrote in message
oups.com...
> Greetings:
>
> Thanks to all who gave me such interesting advice on how to help my
> husband's cat stop hating my guts. We took many of the comments to
> heart and put them to use. I stopped bringing the broom with me
> whenever I was around the cat - I didn't want him to see me as a
> threat. We began letting the cat into the bedroom so he could lounge on
> the bed all day and sleep with us at night. In addition, we spent a
> lot of time with my husband petting him with me around (all three of us
> on the bed), with me petting and cooing, too, so kitty would associate
> me with good feelings. I also became the exclusive feeder and
> treat-giver.
>
> Things improved slightly, and kitty even cuddled up with me and purred
> and made biscuits on my stomach a couple of times. I thought we had
> finally solved the problem - he had access to my husband, the bed, and
> lots more positive attention. But unfortunately, he has slowly become
> even more brazenly aggressive. He attacked me in my face earlier this
> week, slicing my eyelid and giving me a couple of nasty scratches on my
> cheek. He regularly terrorizes me if I'm alone with him in the bedroom.
> He will stalk me and pounce at me, tail waving and with a menacing look
> on his face - definitely NOT playing. Last night, he attacked me (on
> face and arm) in my SLEEP, which was really really scary. I have become
> increasingly afraid of this cat, which is so uncomfortable, because I
> love all animals. I do not want to even consider giving him away (which
> my husband has suggested) because I believe animals are a lifetime
> commitment. But I'm starting to wonder if this is beginning to cross
> the line...my family - all long-time cat lovers, are appalled at the
> problems I'm having with this guy (cat, not husband). I've become
> almost too scared to sleep with this cat around, wondering what he'll
> do to me next!
>
> We consulted with a local cat veterinarian today, and he suggested
> squirting the cat with water when he goes after me. I was surprised by
> this advice, but the vet said that the cat hates me so much already,
> that every time I shrink from him or allow him to run me out of the
> room, he feels like he was won. He said that my feeding the cat and
> giving him treats only enhances my submissive position, in the cat's
> eyes. The vet suggested that this is purely a control issue, and that I
> have to assert my authority with the water squirting. He also suggested
> Feliway might help kitty feel less aggressive. He, like many of you,
> did not want to try medication except as a last resort, which I was
> very glad to hear.
>
> Has anyone had a cat become MORE aggressive, even when everyone is
> trying to make him feel more loved and welcome? I always thought
> heirarchy issues were more the domain of dogs than cats. Also, what is
> the line for completely intolerable behavior? I know many people would
> say scratching me in the eye ( my husband, who LOVES this cat, was so
> horrified when I emerrged, bleeding, from the other room), but I don't
> want to give up on this guy! I believe he can be reformed, and that we
> can have a nice relationship! Or am I just fooling myself?
>
> Thanks -
> Amy :)
>

cybercat
December 9th 05, 09:28 PM
"Willow" > wrote in message
. net...
> Cat's getting what he wants, more attention... and scaring you away when
he
> wants to.. why should he stop?
>
> Gaya learned the hard way not to jump my face.. once and for all... now
> she's cuddly, purring and totally loving but when she gets aggressive, one
> look from me sends her looking for another victim.. generally the dog..
>
> There's a world between beating up animals and teaching your cat that
> cutting open your face is not going to go.
> --

I have to agree. I would have slapped this cat by now. Yes, I mean a tap
more
than anything with power behind it. But I sure would have. Beast to beast,
since
this is all she seems to understand.

whitershadeofpale
December 9th 05, 09:42 PM
MaryLyon wrote:

> Thanks -
> Amy :)

Yeah, get DH to handle this, not you.

He should defend you from her, by whatever means is appropriate.

mlbriggs
December 9th 05, 10:56 PM
On Fri, 09 Dec 2005 12:42:12 -0800, MaryLyon wrote:

> Greetings:
>
> Thanks to all who gave me such interesting advice on how to help my
> husband's cat stop hating my guts. We took many of the comments to heart
> and put them to use. I stopped bringing the broom with me whenever I was
> around the cat - I didn't want him to see me as a threat. We began letting
> the cat into the bedroom so he could lounge on the bed all day and sleep
> with us at night. In addition, we spent a lot of time with my husband
> petting him with me around (all three of us on the bed), with me petting
> and cooing, too, so kitty would associate me with good feelings. I also
> became the exclusive feeder and treat-giver.
>
> Things improved slightly, and kitty even cuddled up with me and purred and
> made biscuits on my stomach a couple of times. I thought we had finally
> solved the problem - he had access to my husband, the bed, and lots more
> positive attention. But unfortunately, he has slowly become even more
> brazenly aggressive. He attacked me in my face earlier this week, slicing
> my eyelid and giving me a couple of nasty scratches on my cheek. He
> regularly terrorizes me if I'm alone with him in the bedroom. He will
> stalk me and pounce at me, tail waving and with a menacing look on his
> face - definitely NOT playing. Last night, he attacked me (on face and
> arm) in my SLEEP, which was really really scary. I have become
> increasingly afraid of this cat, which is so uncomfortable, because I love
> all animals. I do not want to even consider giving him away (which my
> husband has suggested) because I believe animals are a lifetime
> commitment. But I'm starting to wonder if this is beginning to cross the
> line...my family - all long-time cat lovers, are appalled at the problems
> I'm having with this guy (cat, not husband). I've become almost too scared
> to sleep with this cat around, wondering what he'll do to me next!
>
> We consulted with a local cat veterinarian today, and he suggested
> squirting the cat with water when he goes after me. I was surprised by
> this advice, but the vet said that the cat hates me so much already, that
> every time I shrink from him or allow him to run me out of the room, he
> feels like he was won. He said that my feeding the cat and giving him
> treats only enhances my submissive position, in the cat's eyes. The vet
> suggested that this is purely a control issue, and that I have to assert
> my authority with the water squirting. He also suggested Feliway might
> help kitty feel less aggressive. He, like many of you, did not want to try
> medication except as a last resort, which I was very glad to hear.
>
> Has anyone had a cat become MORE aggressive, even when everyone is trying
> to make him feel more loved and welcome? I always thought heirarchy issues
> were more the domain of dogs than cats. Also, what is the line for
> completely intolerable behavior? I know many people would say scratching
> me in the eye ( my husband, who LOVES this cat, was so horrified when I
> emerrged, bleeding, from the other room), but I don't want to give up on
> this guy! I believe he can be reformed, and that we can have a nice
> relationship! Or am I just fooling myself?
>
> Thanks -
> Amy :)


IMHO Looking at the situation logically, I would give up on the cat
before giving up an eye. And again, logically, who could you give this
cat to without the possibility of it attacking another person, perhaps a
child.? Perhaps a no-kill shelter would be the answer. MLB

PawsForThought
December 9th 05, 11:03 PM
MaryLyon wrote:
I know many people would
> say scratching me in the eye ( my husband, who LOVES this cat, was so
> horrified when I emerrged, bleeding, from the other room), but I don't
> want to give up on this guy! I believe he can be reformed, and that we
> can have a nice relationship! Or am I just fooling myself?

Hi Amy,
Have you considered consulting with a professional cat behaviorist?
That's what I would recommend in your situation. Your vet should be
able to recommend someone in your area. Also, I would not let the cat
in the bedroom when you are sleeping, at least for now. It sounds much
too dangerous at this point.

Good luck. I really hope you can work this out.

Lauren

whitershadeofpale
December 9th 05, 11:33 PM
MaryLyon wrote:

> Thanks -
> Amy :)

don't be a target, she's making sport of you.

ooo! i'd suprise her good, with say..a water ballon...(condoms work
too)
pop it up next to her...on the ground

John Doe
December 9th 05, 11:42 PM
"whitershadeofpale" > wrote:

>
> MaryLyon wrote:
>
>> Thanks -
>> Amy :)
>
> don't be a target, she's making sport of you.
>
> ooo! i'd suprise her good, with say..a water ballon...(condoms work
> too)

Especially since you don't have anything better to do with them.

whitershadeofpale
December 9th 05, 11:44 PM
John Doe wrote:

> Especially since you don't have anything better to do with them.

you're the one who don't like pussy too much

why I've never heard of such!

cybercat
December 9th 05, 11:50 PM
"whitershadeofpale" > wrote in message
oups.com...
>
> John Doe wrote:
>
> > Especially since you don't have anything better to do with them.
>
> you're the one who don't like pussy too much
>
> why I've never heard of such!
>

And in a cat group, no less. Wow, that was a GREAT nap.

5cats
December 10th 05, 01:50 AM
Sure, medication isn't something to be done casually, but it really sounds
like you have tried all the right tactics, I really think it's time to try
the meds, combined with what you are already doing behaviorly, I believe
that's your best chance for a succesful outcome.

Lumpy
December 10th 05, 02:44 AM
"Diane" > wrote in message
nk.net...
> In article . com>,
> "MaryLyon" > wrote:
>
> > Has anyone had a cat become MORE aggressive, even when everyone is
> > trying to make him feel more loved and welcome? I always thought
> > heirarchy issues were more the domain of dogs than cats.
>
> I call my cat a dominant dog. I was nice to him, like you, and it did no
> good. Then I asserted myself, was very firm, put him in timeout when he
> bit, etc., and he's improved dramatically (not perfectly, but
> dramatically), even to the point of showing some submissive behaviours.
>
> Keep him away from your face, and don't try to sleep with him.
>
> And don't let him bite. It leaves scars.
>
> --

God, Diane. I have new respect for you. You really must love that cat.
Lucky Hodge, lucky you to have the capacity for that kind of love.

whitershadeofpale
December 10th 05, 03:02 AM
Lumpy wrote:

> God, Diane. I have new respect for you. You really must love that cat.
> Lucky Hodge, lucky you to have the capacity for that kind of love.

It is very interesting, how people handle things.

One sees it this way, one sees it another.

In cases that are extreme, we have to be extreme (im not saying
anything new)

I can't help but feel that a majority of cat slaves are scared of
losing the cats affection by cracking down on them..nonsense, break bad
on em. This is not about physical domination but a display of will.

December 10th 05, 03:18 AM
MaryLyon wrote:
> Greetings:

> Has anyone had a cat become MORE aggressive, even when everyone is
> trying to make him feel more loved and welcome? I always thought
> heirarchy issues were more the domain of dogs than cats. Also, what is
> the line for completely intolerable behavior? I know many people would
> say scratching me in the eye ( my husband, who LOVES this cat, was so
> horrified when I emerrged, bleeding, from the other room), but I don't
> want to give up on this guy! I believe he can be reformed, and that we
> can have a nice relationship! Or am I just fooling myself?
> Thanks -
> Amy :)

This is interesting. I have noticed with cats that are aggressive are
often declawed and use biting as a means of establishing themselves as
the new rulers. But your cat scratched you so obviously not declawed.
How big is the cat and how much does he weigh? Are you strong enough to
pick him up by the scruff of the neck? I'm not suggesting this in this
case, might be dangerous, just trying to get a handle on your unusual
problem. Are you near any professional animal trainers? I tried clicker
training with cats. Kind of works. They use it also with big cats, like
lions and tigers. And it's been used with aggressive animals. There is
a popular book, Clicker Training, but I think it would be best to
consult a professional who knows about changing behaviors. It's hard to
learn Clicker Training or any training from a book unless you have a
talent for it.

cybercat
December 10th 05, 04:08 AM
"whitershadeofpale" > wrote in message
oups.com...
>
> Lumpy wrote:
>
> > God, Diane. I have new respect for you. You really must love that cat.
> > Lucky Hodge, lucky you to have the capacity for that kind of love.
>
> It is very interesting, how people handle things.
>
> One sees it this way, one sees it another.
>
> In cases that are extreme, we have to be extreme (im not saying
> anything new)
>
> I can't help but feel that a majority of cat slaves are scared of
> losing the cats affection by cracking down on them..nonsense, break bad
> on em. This is not about physical domination but a display of will.
>
And when you display yours to a creature of equal or great will, what then?
You can break a whole lot more than you think when you follow your dick
and "break bad" on anyone to keep them in line.

cybercat
December 10th 05, 04:20 AM
"Diane" > wrote in message
nk.net...
> In article >, "Lumpy" >
> wrote:
>
> > "Diane" > wrote in message
> > nk.net...
> > > In article . com>,
> > > "MaryLyon" > wrote:
> > >
> > > > Has anyone had a cat become MORE aggressive, even when everyone is
> > > > trying to make him feel more loved and welcome? I always thought
> > > > heirarchy issues were more the domain of dogs than cats.
> > >
> > > I call my cat a dominant dog. I was nice to him, like you, and it did
no
> > > good. Then I asserted myself, was very firm, put him in timeout when
he
> > > bit, etc., and he's improved dramatically (not perfectly, but
> > > dramatically), even to the point of showing some submissive
behaviours.
> > >
> > > Keep him away from your face, and don't try to sleep with him.
> > >
> > > And don't let him bite. It leaves scars.
> > >
> > > --
> >
> > God, Diane. I have new respect for you. You really must love that cat.
>
> Actually, I feel guilty that I don't -- not nearly as much as I loved my
> Pudge, a sweet tortie who used to move in her sleep so that her head
> would stay on my arm when I moved in my sleep. She never had one
> aggressive moment in her life (except that time at 3:00 a.m. when I woke
> up to find her standing on her hind legs on the bed and shredding a map
> of Germany on the wall next to it. Hilarious!). When strangers came over
> and I left her alone with them for 30 seconds, I'd come back out and
> find her flat on her back, legs spread, getting her tummy rubbed.
>
> This is about my dad, who did not like cats in the least, and a visit
> Pudge and I made to him when I couldn't find a place for her to board:
>
> One night around 11:00, I was looking for Pudge and couldn't find her. I
> may
> have heard something; I don't know, but for some reason I went into my
> dad's room to look. He was sitting on the bed next to Pudge, who was
> lying
> on it in her favourite position -- belly up with legs sprawled. He must
> not
> have heard me at first, because he was scratching her tummy and saying
> something like, "There's a good kitty." The moment he realised I was
> standing there watching, however, an indescribable look came over his
> face.
> He withdrew his hand as though he'd been burnt and bellowed, "GET THIS
> DAMN CAT OFF MY BED!" This is one of my most cherished memories of
> him -- caught in an act of tenderness and denying it.
>
> > Lucky Hodge, lucky you to have the capacity for that kind of love.
>
> Maybe it's just a sense of responsibility or obligation.
>
> He does amuse me (lately, his attacks are tentative, where he thinks
> about biting and then veers off, which is pretty funny in and of
> itself), and he's fun to play laser point and Da Bird with. He will also
> cuddle if he's in the right mood.
>
> --

Well I got you wrong. I am in the opposite position--I had a cat for 20
years who
hated people and bit just for fun. Now I have one who likes people just fine
and
totally adores me. My little 7-lb feline soulmate.

It is so weird. In the middle of the night she seeks me out, very politely
approaches
and meows her request for permission to approach and stretch out with her
body
flush with mine, to be petted. After that, all night long she stays there,
or leaves and
comes back, so that I keep waking with my hand on her and her little face
looking at
me like, "well? Pet me!"

One night last week I she kept looking at me while I read and tried to get
sleepy.
She would not settle on her pillow at the foot of the bed, but kept staring
at me and
doing that lizard blink they do. "I am trying to TELL you something, dense
human!"
I'd read for a while and then zoom out and there she would be--looking at
me.
Slow blink. lol! Finally I pushed my pillows down as I do when I am going to
sleep,
and over, so there was room for her to stretch out against my body. I did
not turn
out the light just in case I was wrong and that is not what she wanted. But
damn if
she did not stop staring and immediately come up, meyyouing as usual, and
stretch
out beside me, doing the Boneless Cat while I petted her. What could I do
but turn out
the light? This CAT made me go to sleep when I had at least a chapter left
in me! I
was just glad I had already brushed and flossed.

Hodge is lucky to have you. They all deserve our love. They all deserve to
be just who
they are. Bless you anyway. :)

Glitter Ninja
December 10th 05, 05:05 AM
Diane > writes:

>I call my cat a dominant dog. I was nice to him, like you, and it did no
>good. Then I asserted myself, was very firm, put him in timeout when he
>bit, etc., and he's improved dramatically (not perfectly, but
>dramatically), even to the point of showing some submissive behaviours.

We have a cat who has some irritating behaviors. As a kitten he had a
virus and was all cuddly and sweet, but the minute he was cured -
WHAMMO. Troublemaker! The worst was attacking the two older cats in
their sleep, drawing blood a couple times. Time out was definitely a
good step towards managing his behavior. My husband jokes that you have
to spend all your time punishing the cat when he's bad and loving him up
when he's good ;)
But if your cat is injuring you or others, I would suggest
medications. You need to get him to a vet for a checkup (if you haven't
already) and get some calming meds for him, at least for a while.

Stacia

Lumpy
December 10th 05, 05:43 AM
> wrote in message
...
> Diane > wrote:
>
> >He doesn't sharpen his back claws with his teeth as often any more. I
> >take that's a sign he might not be as aggressive as he once was.
>
> That's normal grooming as they tug and strip the old outer sheath off
> their claws.
>

My Gracie does that all the time. It's noisy, too.

RobZip
December 10th 05, 06:15 AM
"MaryLyon" > wrote in message
oups.com...
> Greetings:
>
> Thanks to all who gave me such interesting advice on how to help my
> husband's cat stop hating my guts. <snip>

> Or am I just fooling myself?
>
> Thanks -
> Amy :)
You're fooling yourself if you think there is any diplomatic way to change
this situation. It's possible you may never be able to have a loving
relationship with this critter. The first step is asserting yourself via a
swift kick to the nutsack. This creature's respect for you must be instilled
first and since the animal has chosen the hostility route, acquiring that
respect by virtue or by fear is a rather moot point. Once he has the idea
that you will be respected, possibilities open up beyond being a target for
his misdirected aggression. The extent of any relationship may be short and
slim but let's not lose sight of the fact that this is an animal. You don't
have to endure his bull****.

Wendy
December 10th 05, 12:01 PM
"Diane" > wrote in message
nk.net...
> In article >, "cybercat" >
> wrote:
>
>> Hodge is lucky to have you. They all deserve our love. They all deserve
>> to
>> be just who
>> they are. Bless you anyway. :)
>
> The thing is, when he's aggressive all the time like when I first got
> him, he's not happy. Now in the past year or two, when he has calmed
> down, he seems much happier and much more like a normal cat, and he
> genuinely likes to be petted and get attention when he's in the mood. I
> suppose as he gets a bit older (he's probably 4-5), he'll get mellower.
>
> I think all that hostility made him miserable but he didn't know how
> else to be. I'm not sure how he got that way and am curious about it --
> also if the person who declawed him did so because he was dangerous, or
> if he became dangerous once declawed (I can see it going both ways).
>
> He doesn't sharpen his back claws with his teeth as often any more. I
> take that's a sign he might not be as aggressive as he once was.
>
> I should post the photo on my site of a paper towel that was almost
> soaked with blood after he bit me on the leg once and happened to get a
> spider vein . . . it looked awful.
>
> --
> Web site: http://www.slywy.com/
> Message board: http://www.slywy.com/phpBB2/
> Journal: http://slywy.blogspot.com/

What all did you do to get Hodge to start coming around?

We have one cat now who is showing behavior problems. She can be a sweet as
the day is long and then attack for no reason. She bit one of the women who
comes in to clean the cages and feed and play with the cats (our vet lets us
keep 6 cages in the office) the other day for no reason other than the woman
had reached in the cage to clean up.

I've got another cat here who is acting weird too. He will head butt you
like they do when they want attention. I'll pet him for a brief time and
then he bites me. He grabs me with the front teeth and then tugs almost like
I was prey and he wanted to drag me off. If it's over stimulation then he
has a very low threshold. I have a Feliway diffuser running in that room all
the time.

Both these cats came from the same place so I'm not sure what's up with that
as AFAIK they aren't related.

W

Wendy
December 10th 05, 12:05 PM
"RobZip" > wrote in message
...
>
> "MaryLyon" > wrote in message
> oups.com...
>> Greetings:
>>
>> Thanks to all who gave me such interesting advice on how to help my
>> husband's cat stop hating my guts. <snip>
>
>> Or am I just fooling myself?
>>
>> Thanks -
>> Amy :)
> You're fooling yourself if you think there is any diplomatic way to change
> this situation. It's possible you may never be able to have a loving
> relationship with this critter. The first step is asserting yourself via a
> swift kick to the nutsack. This creature's respect for you must be
> instilled
> first and since the animal has chosen the hostility route, acquiring that
> respect by virtue or by fear is a rather moot point. Once he has the idea
> that you will be respected, possibilities open up beyond being a target
> for
> his misdirected aggression. The extent of any relationship may be short
> and
> slim but let's not lose sight of the fact that this is an animal. You
> don't
> have to endure his bull****.
>
>
I don't know about a kick in the butt but a time out in the bathroom might
be in order and I wouldn't let the cat in the bedroom while I was sleeping
any more.

W

MaryL
December 10th 05, 12:48 PM
"MaryLyon" > wrote in message
oups.com...
> Greetings:
>
> Thanks to all who gave me such interesting advice on how to help my
> husband's cat stop hating my guts. We took many of the comments to
> heart and put them to use. I stopped bringing the broom with me
> whenever I was around the cat - I didn't want him to see me as a
> threat. We began letting the cat into the bedroom so he could lounge on
> the bed all day and sleep with us at night. In addition, we spent a
> lot of time with my husband petting him with me around (all three of us
> on the bed), with me petting and cooing, too, so kitty would associate
> me with good feelings. I also became the exclusive feeder and
> treat-giver.
>
> Things improved slightly, and kitty even cuddled up with me and purred
> and made biscuits on my stomach a couple of times. I thought we had
> finally solved the problem - he had access to my husband, the bed, and
> lots more positive attention. But unfortunately, he has slowly become
> even more brazenly aggressive. He attacked me in my face earlier this
> week, slicing my eyelid and giving me a couple of nasty scratches on my
> cheek. He regularly terrorizes me if I'm alone with him in the bedroom.
> He will stalk me and pounce at me, tail waving and with a menacing look
> on his face - definitely NOT playing. Last night, he attacked me (on
> face and arm) in my SLEEP, which was really really scary. I have become
> increasingly afraid of this cat, which is so uncomfortable, because I
> love all animals. I do not want to even consider giving him away (which
> my husband has suggested) because I believe animals are a lifetime
> commitment. But I'm starting to wonder if this is beginning to cross
> the line...my family - all long-time cat lovers, are appalled at the
> problems I'm having with this guy (cat, not husband). I've become
> almost too scared to sleep with this cat around, wondering what he'll
> do to me next!
>
<snip>
>
> Thanks -
> Amy :)
>

This is a serious situation (and I think your vet's "advice" is likely to
make things worse). I would like to recommend that you look into the Tufts
University Petfax Program (through their School of Veterinary Medicine).
This is a consulting service for pet behavioral problems. I have read many
positive reports about them, and my sister used the service at one time. I
think the original consultation was $198.00, but it included 3 follow-ups.
There is a report to fill out first, and the people who posted about it
stressed that it is very important to include *all details*. Here are two
links --

Tufts School of Veterinary Medicine Petfax Program:
http://www.tufts.edu/vet/petfax/
consulting service for pet behavioral problems

About the Petfax Program:
http://www.tufts.edu/vet/petfax/about.html

MaryL

blkcatgal
December 10th 05, 02:42 PM
I ditto this. I have consulted with Dr. Dodman and his staff at Tufts by
using the Petfax service and they really helped. They work with you and
your vet to try to find a solution to the problem. It may seem a bit
pricey, but it is definitely worth a try, especially if you want to try to
keep this cat. Dr. Dodman is a world reknown animal behaviorist who has
written a number of books about cat behavior.

Good luck.

Sue
"MaryL" -OUT-THE-LITTER> wrote in message
news:[email protected]
>
> "MaryLyon" > wrote in message
> oups.com...
>> Greetings:
>>
>> Thanks to all who gave me such interesting advice on how to help my
>> husband's cat stop hating my guts. We took many of the comments to
>> heart and put them to use. I stopped bringing the broom with me
>> whenever I was around the cat - I didn't want him to see me as a
>> threat. We began letting the cat into the bedroom so he could lounge on
>> the bed all day and sleep with us at night. In addition, we spent a
>> lot of time with my husband petting him with me around (all three of us
>> on the bed), with me petting and cooing, too, so kitty would associate
>> me with good feelings. I also became the exclusive feeder and
>> treat-giver.
>>
>> Things improved slightly, and kitty even cuddled up with me and purred
>> and made biscuits on my stomach a couple of times. I thought we had
>> finally solved the problem - he had access to my husband, the bed, and
>> lots more positive attention. But unfortunately, he has slowly become
>> even more brazenly aggressive. He attacked me in my face earlier this
>> week, slicing my eyelid and giving me a couple of nasty scratches on my
>> cheek. He regularly terrorizes me if I'm alone with him in the bedroom.
>> He will stalk me and pounce at me, tail waving and with a menacing look
>> on his face - definitely NOT playing. Last night, he attacked me (on
>> face and arm) in my SLEEP, which was really really scary. I have become
>> increasingly afraid of this cat, which is so uncomfortable, because I
>> love all animals. I do not want to even consider giving him away (which
>> my husband has suggested) because I believe animals are a lifetime
>> commitment. But I'm starting to wonder if this is beginning to cross
>> the line...my family - all long-time cat lovers, are appalled at the
>> problems I'm having with this guy (cat, not husband). I've become
>> almost too scared to sleep with this cat around, wondering what he'll
>> do to me next!
>>
> <snip>
>>
>> Thanks -
>> Amy :)
>>
>
> This is a serious situation (and I think your vet's "advice" is likely to
> make things worse). I would like to recommend that you look into the
> Tufts University Petfax Program (through their School of Veterinary
> Medicine). This is a consulting service for pet behavioral problems. I
> have read many positive reports about them, and my sister used the service
> at one time. I think the original consultation was $198.00, but it
> included 3 follow-ups. There is a report to fill out first, and the people
> who posted about it stressed that it is very important to include *all
> details*. Here are two links --
>
> Tufts School of Veterinary Medicine Petfax Program:
> http://www.tufts.edu/vet/petfax/
> consulting service for pet behavioral problems
>
> About the Petfax Program:
> http://www.tufts.edu/vet/petfax/about.html
>
> MaryL
>
>

Frank Pittel
December 11th 05, 11:09 PM
Wendy > wrote:

: "RobZip" > wrote in message
: ...
: >
: > "MaryLyon" > wrote in message
: > oups.com...
: >> Greetings:
: >>
: >> Thanks to all who gave me such interesting advice on how to help my
: >> husband's cat stop hating my guts. <snip>
: >
: >> Or am I just fooling myself?
: >>
: >> Thanks -
: >> Amy :)
: > You're fooling yourself if you think there is any diplomatic way to change
: > this situation. It's possible you may never be able to have a loving
: > relationship with this critter. The first step is asserting yourself via a
: > swift kick to the nutsack. This creature's respect for you must be
: > instilled
: > first and since the animal has chosen the hostility route, acquiring that
: > respect by virtue or by fear is a rather moot point. Once he has the idea
: > that you will be respected, possibilities open up beyond being a target
: > for
: > his misdirected aggression. The extent of any relationship may be short
: > and
: > slim but let's not lose sight of the fact that this is an animal. You
: > don't
: > have to endure his bull****.
: >
: >
: I don't know about a kick in the butt but a time out in the bathroom might
: be in order and I wouldn't let the cat in the bedroom while I was sleeping
: any more.


I was convinced to try the "time out" crap when my last male cat (he died at 8yrs
from FIV) and it did no good. He was as I always put it a dominant alpha male
cat. This means that if you put him together with other alpha male cats he
would come out on top!! After a bit of time I finally figured out that he was
attempting to assert his dominance over me. At that point I decided to start
"fighting back" and assert my dominance over him. When he got violent (playing
was allowed) I would thump him on the head between his ears with my forefinger.
I would hit him hard enough to make unpleasant but not hard enough to hurt him.
I would also displace him from where he was sleeping when I came near. If he was
sleeping on my coach I would pick him up and toss him off. The same went for my bed
and other chairs. At all times I was in charge and what I wanted was all that mattered.
After a short while he figured out that I was the boss and he assumed a more submissive
role. From that point on we got along well, although he would attempt to assert
dominance



--




-------------------
Keep working millions on welfare depend on you

December 12th 05, 02:09 AM
Frank Pittel wrote:
> I was convinced to try the "time out" crap when my last male cat (he died at 8yrs
> from FIV) and it did no good. He was as I always put it a dominant alpha male
> cat. This means that if you put him together with other alpha male cats he
> would come out on top!! After a bit of time I finally figured out that he was
> attempting to assert his dominance over me. At that point I decided to start
> "fighting back" and assert my dominance over him. When he got violent (playing
> was allowed) I would thump him on the head between his ears with my forefinger.
> I would hit him hard enough to make unpleasant but not hard enough to hurt him.
> I would also displace him from where he was sleeping when I came near. If he was
> sleeping on my coach I would pick him up and toss him off. The same went for my bed
> and other chairs. At all times I was in charge and what I wanted was all that mattered.
> After a short while he figured out that I was the boss and he assumed a more submissive
> role. From that point on we got along well, although he would attempt to assert
> dominance

This sounds relatively tame to what the OP was discussing. If you want
to be the supreme boss, go ahead. It's not unusual for any cat when
play fighting to get a bit aggressive. I think it's fun when my cat
takes over my bed or chair. It's way too easy to be dominant over a 10
pound feline so I like it when she asserts herself. Good for her.

Frank Pittel
December 12th 05, 05:28 AM
> wrote:

: Frank Pittel wrote:
: > I was convinced to try the "time out" crap when my last male cat (he died at 8yrs
: > from FIV) and it did no good. He was as I always put it a dominant alpha male
: > cat. This means that if you put him together with other alpha male cats he
: > would come out on top!! After a bit of time I finally figured out that he was
: > attempting to assert his dominance over me. At that point I decided to start
: > "fighting back" and assert my dominance over him. When he got violent (playing
: > was allowed) I would thump him on the head between his ears with my forefinger.
: > I would hit him hard enough to make unpleasant but not hard enough to hurt him.
: > I would also displace him from where he was sleeping when I came near. If he was
: > sleeping on my coach I would pick him up and toss him off. The same went for my bed
: > and other chairs. At all times I was in charge and what I wanted was all that mattered.
: > After a short while he figured out that I was the boss and he assumed a more submissive
: > role. From that point on we got along well, although he would attempt to assert
: > dominance

: This sounds relatively tame to what the OP was discussing. If you want
: to be the supreme boss, go ahead. It's not unusual for any cat when
: play fighting to get a bit aggressive. I think it's fun when my cat
: takes over my bed or chair. It's way too easy to be dominant over a 10
: pound feline so I like it when she asserts herself. Good for her.

No offense to the OP but I would never have allowed the situation to get that
far out of hand. The cat that I refering to wasn't getting a "bit aggressive
while play fighting" I spent many years with scratches on my hands and arms resulting
from that. I'm talking about a cat that decided my computer chair was his. When
he saw me sitting in it the result was a lot of growling which progressed into
spitting, hissing and vicous attacks. The cat was a large animal that weighed ~25lbs
and was ~3 feet long and was very aggresive. With a little work he learned his place
and came to be a very friendly cat.
--




-------------------
Keep working millions on welfare depend on you

Jason Travis
December 13th 05, 11:27 PM
Sorry to hear about your problems. Animals do have very unique psychology.

I know it's horrible, but sometimes you do have to assert authority over a
cat, and it may mean that the cat has to go if they will not submit. It's
your house, after all.

My late Grandmother's cat lived for 18 years, and adored her but would
disappear and not socialize with anyone. When a couple of us moved in to
help with Grandma's health problems, the cat rejected any attention, to the
point of growling dangerously and hiding. She was like a little buzz saw
blade if you got near her and frequently drew blood--usually my attempts to
get near her when she was hiding in an attempt to show her I wasn't a
threat. I finally gave up and assumed that she just would not ever like
me...figured she'd never been around male humans and that was probably it.

You know how cats are when you ignore them, they do eventually have to come
out from under the bed sometime, and she would cross the room petulantly and
still growl. We had established a mutual separation where she could be in
the room and we kept our distance. This was fine until the one time when
I walked into the kitchen and didn't expect her to be sitting on the chair
to the left. Even though I hadn't advanced toward her and hadn't even seen
her, she flailed out and caught the skin of the knuckle on my index finger
like a fishhook; completely unwarranted attack that was a true injury.

Something instinctual took over and I chased her all over the house with a
broom in a rage, bleeding everywhere. I chased her, yelling the entire
time, to every hidey hole she ran to and flushed her out using the broom
bristles...not hitting her, just pushing her out of her safe places for
about 4-5 minutes...I guess literally "sweeping" the territory away from her
and yelling. Finally she got tired and stopped hiding and just plopped down
on the couch in full view, exhausted.

We didn't become instant friends, but somehow that seemed to bridge the gap
and she very very slowly warmed up socially. She got to where she would
even sit on my lap. She never drew blood again -- she would thwap me with
her claw if I ticked her off or bite gently if I pet her incorrectly, but
she always kept the claws in.

whitershadeofpale
December 14th 05, 12:18 AM
you know how i feel