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View Full Version : You've probably all seen this before, but I couldn't resist posting it!


March 3rd 06, 05:07 PM
> EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY
>
> Day 180
> 8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
> 9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
> 9:40 am - OH BOY ! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
> 10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
> 11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
> 12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
> 1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
> 4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
> 5:00 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
> 5:30 pm - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
>
> Day 181
> 8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
> 9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
> 9:40 am - O H BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
> 10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
> 11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
> 12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
> 1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
> 4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
> 5:00 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
> 5:30 pm - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
>
> Day 182
> 8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
> 9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
> 9:40 a m - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
> 10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
> 11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
> 12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
> 1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
> 1:30 pm - OOOOOOOH. BATH. BUMMER!
> 4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
> 5:00 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
> 5:30 pm - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
>
> EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY
>
> DAY 183
> My captors cont inue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
> They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.
> The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild
> satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.
> Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
>
> DAY 184
> Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while
> they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of t he
> stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I
> once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair ... must try
> this on their bed.
>
> DAY 185
> Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to
> make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into
> their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little
> cat I was ... Hmmm. Not working according to plan.
>
> DAY 186
> I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was
> chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning
> foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a
> liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my
>
> teeth.
>
> DAY 187
> There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in
> solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell
>
> the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer". More importantly I
> overheard that my confinement wasdue to MY power of "allergies." Must
> learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
>
> DAY 188
> I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The
> dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is
> obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an
> informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my
> every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety
> is assured.
>
> But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...
>
>

Duke of URL
March 4th 06, 02:24 AM
@

>> EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY

Thanks. It was worth reading again.
--
Moses Lambert PO1(SW) USN(ret)
Cliologist, Philanthropologist, Prothonotary Wibbler,
Paleoconservative, Surface Warrior Squid, Itinerant Philosoph;
Subsidiary of Vitameatavegemega.com