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fredsheck
July 12th 06, 10:46 PM
my kitty, ebony, is 25 years old. no lie. he was my cat when i was in high
school. I graduated in 1983, and left for college. he was loved and cared
for (obviously well) my my parents for the next two decades. my mom passed
in 2001, and when my dad died last september, he became my cat again.

anyway, it is pretty clear that he is dying now. he's had "spells" of
extreme lethargy/weakness would become bedridden for a few days every few
months, but each time he would wake up as if from a nice long nap and say,
"where's my breakfast?" well, he's been real sick now since saturday. i
took him in to the vet on sat. afternoon. i was told what i basically
already knew--that he was super sick (maybe advanced thyroid or maybe kidney
disease), blood/urine tests and subcutaneas fluids were suggested sort of as
an aside, but that he might die in the next room or maybe not, but he
probably wouldn't bounce back this time. of couse i was advised to have him
euthenized. i was not prepared to make that decision right then, so i took
him home.

he has been peaceful, it seems, since then. He responds, minimally, to
petting and being spoken to. He has meowed quietly just a few times, but
not crying or moaning. he is peaceful still, but just a flicker of life
remains. i have to go to work again now. please please tell me that this
is ok. he is in his bed in his home. he is not eating or drinking. I
sense that he is dying, that he is peaceful and not suffering much, if any.
in another thread in this group, "toni" said:

.. . .take her home, watch her, and look deeply into her eyes when you talk
to her. She will tell you when she is ready to go.

A calm humane death (at home IMO) is the last great gift you will ever be
able to give her . . .

this feels calm, and i hope it is humane. but it is really tearing me up. i
know others out there have been there. thanks for your thoughts and
prayers.

John Ross Mc Master
July 12th 06, 10:53 PM
On Wed, 12 Jul 2006 14:46:10 -0700, "fredsheck"
> wrote:

>my kitty, ebony, is 25 years old. no lie. he was my cat when i was in high
>school. I graduated in 1983, and left for college. he was loved and cared
>for (obviously well) my my parents for the next two decades. my mom passed
>in 2001, and when my dad died last september, he became my cat again.
>
>anyway, it is pretty clear that he is dying now. he's had "spells" of
>extreme lethargy/weakness would become bedridden for a few days every few
>months, but each time he would wake up as if from a nice long nap and say,
>"where's my breakfast?" well, he's been real sick now since saturday. i
>took him in to the vet on sat. afternoon. i was told what i basically
>already knew--that he was super sick (maybe advanced thyroid or maybe kidney
>disease), blood/urine tests and subcutaneas fluids were suggested sort of as
>an aside, but that he might die in the next room or maybe not, but he
>probably wouldn't bounce back this time. of couse i was advised to have him
>euthenized. i was not prepared to make that decision right then, so i took
>him home.
>
>he has been peaceful, it seems, since then. He responds, minimally, to
>petting and being spoken to. He has meowed quietly just a few times, but
>not crying or moaning. he is peaceful still, but just a flicker of life
>remains. i have to go to work again now. please please tell me that this
>is ok. he is in his bed in his home. he is not eating or drinking. I
>sense that he is dying, that he is peaceful and not suffering much, if any.
>in another thread in this group, "toni" said:
>
>. . .take her home, watch her, and look deeply into her eyes when you talk
>to her. She will tell you when she is ready to go.
>
>A calm humane death (at home IMO) is the last great gift you will ever be
>able to give her . . .
>
>this feels calm, and i hope it is humane. but it is really tearing me up. i
>know others out there have been there. thanks for your thoughts and
>prayers.
>

If Ebony seems to be suffering, remember that vets make housecalls for
euthanasia. He can die at home without any pain.

Matthew
July 12th 06, 11:51 PM
Something I hold in my heart we lost our precious a few months ago she was
almost 20. I am sorry for your loss


Always remember We will be there even if you can't see us.
We are always Watching and Waiting. That cool puff of air you
feel across your cheek, that fleeting touch, the feeling you have
that I was walking across your bed, that moment you swear you can
hear us, that flicker of movement out of the corner of your eye.
Is just our way of saying I love you and I am with you always even
in the darkest time We Will Always Be There. Till our paws touch again
always know we love you and cherished our special time together

A Prayer for Animals

Hear our humble prayer, O God, for our friends the animals,
especially for animals who are suffering;
for animals that are overworked, underfed and cruelly treated;
for all wistful creatures in captivity that beat their wings against bars;
for any that are hunted or lost or deserted or frightened or hungry;
for all that must be put death.
We entreat for them all Thy mercy and pity,
and for those who deal with them we ask a heart of compassion
and gentle hands and kindly words.
Make us, ourselves, to be true friends to animals,
and so to share the blessings of the merciful.
by Albert Schweitzer



"fredsheck" > wrote in message
...
> my kitty, ebony, is 25 years old. no lie. he was my cat when i was in
> high
> school. I graduated in 1983, and left for college. he was loved and
> cared
> for (obviously well) my my parents for the next two decades. my mom
> passed
> in 2001, and when my dad died last september, he became my cat again.
>
> anyway, it is pretty clear that he is dying now. he's had "spells" of
> extreme lethargy/weakness would become bedridden for a few days every few
> months, but each time he would wake up as if from a nice long nap and say,
> "where's my breakfast?" well, he's been real sick now since saturday. i
> took him in to the vet on sat. afternoon. i was told what i basically
> already knew--that he was super sick (maybe advanced thyroid or maybe
> kidney
> disease), blood/urine tests and subcutaneas fluids were suggested sort of
> as
> an aside, but that he might die in the next room or maybe not, but he
> probably wouldn't bounce back this time. of couse i was advised to have
> him
> euthenized. i was not prepared to make that decision right then, so i
> took
> him home.
>
> he has been peaceful, it seems, since then. He responds, minimally, to
> petting and being spoken to. He has meowed quietly just a few times, but
> not crying or moaning. he is peaceful still, but just a flicker of life
> remains. i have to go to work again now. please please tell me that this
> is ok. he is in his bed in his home. he is not eating or drinking. I
> sense that he is dying, that he is peaceful and not suffering much, if
> any.
> in another thread in this group, "toni" said:
>
> . . .take her home, watch her, and look deeply into her eyes when you talk
> to her. She will tell you when she is ready to go.
>
> A calm humane death (at home IMO) is the last great gift you will ever be
> able to give her . . .
>
> this feels calm, and i hope it is humane. but it is really tearing me up.
> i
> know others out there have been there. thanks for your thoughts and
> prayers.
>
>

July 13th 06, 03:37 AM
fredsheck wrote:

> A calm humane death (at home IMO) is the last great gift you will ever be
> able to give her . . .
>

I don't how many people have actually witnessed a peaceful death at
home, but I have witnessed one death without vet assistance. Jasper
died in my arms at 3:06 am on July 11, 2000. Six years ago. And I burst
into tears everytime I think about that horrible night.

I knew when I got home from work that night that he was far worse and
might not make it through the night. Back then, we didn't have a 24
hour vet available, so I was hoping he would last long enough to be at
the vet when it opened. I held him him and loved him. He convulsed for
half an hour, vomiting on himself. He was either aware and in in pain,
or so out of it that he would not have known I was there. Either way is
painful for me to accept. I feel so horrible that he suffered like
that. The one thing I learned from that situation is that we do them a
great kindness by having them euthanized by a vet. They can die
peacefully, and they know we love them as we hold them in their last
moments.

I have made the decision to euthanize two cats and one dog. I felt a
little guilty about the first, wondering if I had waited for the right
time or could have done more. But after losing Jasper, I don't feel
guilty about the choice to euthanize them. It is only the one I did NOT
make the choice for, that I feel guilty about, and that is while
knowing I could not have done anything at that time of night anyway.

If you are waiting for that "peaceful death at home", please know that
it may not be peaceful at all.

I've had 3 cats and a dog all die in my arms. Three of them were
relaxed and died peacefully. They were well worth the vet costs.
Comparing those to to Jasper, I would never ever consider just waiting
for them to die at home. If their quailty of life is gone, this is your
last gift that you can give to them, and it will spare you some bad
memories too.

Deeanna
July 13th 06, 03:54 AM
hi. It has taken me some time to respond to this because I lost my
beloved kitty Rocky last July and I still grieve. He was with me 16 of
my 20 years in the Navy, he was from Naples, Italy and he travelled
with me across both the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans.

As soon as I started reading your post, I started crying because I know
all too well how you feel. I believe what you are doing is the right
thing, providing Ebony is not suffering. At least you will be able to
say good-bye to him, which is very impotant for you. I was not able to
say good-bye to Rocky because he passed away at the vet where he had
been for four days, over a weekend. I did not go visit him on Saturday
because I did not want to upset him, but now I am eaten up with guilt
because I did not go. He passed away the following day and I did not
find out until Monday morning when I went to the vet to see how he was
responding to the treatment. The words that vet tech said to me are
just as clear as now as they were a year ago. If I had it to do over
again, I would not have taken him in. He was not in pain either,
although he had quit eating and was moving really slow. I had him
cremated, as I have had all of my cats, and two hamsters, and the
clinic held his ashes hostage until we paid our bill in full. My
husband even offered to pay for the ashes alone and pay the remainder
of the bill a day or two later, but they refused.

Please do not feel guilty for keeping him home. He is comfortable at
home and with someone who loves him very much and whom he loves as
well. He will be grateful to be home and in familiar, quiet
surroundings instead of in a cage in a loud, strange place.

When he does pass away, you are going to be ever so heartbroken.
Surrounding yourself with fellow animal lovers who have been in your
shoes will help a great deal. Even though I had to go to work after I
found about Rocky, I was comforted somewhat by knowing that my
co-workers understood what I was going through. Before I went to work,
I went home and got out a bunch of pictures of Rocky and put them in a
photo album so I could look at him in all the various places we lived
and all the things he got into and it actually helped ease the sadness.
The five babies I had remaining also helped me a great deal as well,
as did the two we adopted to replace the empty space in our home Rocky
left behind.

It would help you a great deal if you can find a support group to talk
to as well. There are many on the internet or, if you like, you could
start one. I'm sure many of us will be here for you when the time
comes. I know I will be.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Deeanna






fredsheck wrote:
> my kitty, ebony, is 25 years old. no lie. he was my cat when i was in high
> school. I graduated in 1983, and left for college. he was loved and cared
> for (obviously well) my my parents for the next two decades. my mom passed
> in 2001, and when my dad died last september, he became my cat again.
>
> anyway, it is pretty clear that he is dying now. he's had "spells" of
> extreme lethargy/weakness would become bedridden for a few days every few
> months, but each time he would wake up as if from a nice long nap and say,
> "where's my breakfast?" well, he's been real sick now since saturday. i
> took him in to the vet on sat. afternoon. i was told what i basically
> already knew--that he was super sick (maybe advanced thyroid or maybe kidney
> disease), blood/urine tests and subcutaneas fluids were suggested sort of as
> an aside, but that he might die in the next room or maybe not, but he
> probably wouldn't bounce back this time. of couse i was advised to have him
> euthenized. i was not prepared to make that decision right then, so i took
> him home.
>
> he has been peaceful, it seems, since then. He responds, minimally, to
> petting and being spoken to. He has meowed quietly just a few times, but
> not crying or moaning. he is peaceful still, but just a flicker of life
> remains. i have to go to work again now. please please tell me that this
> is ok. he is in his bed in his home. he is not eating or drinking. I
> sense that he is dying, that he is peaceful and not suffering much, if any.
> in another thread in this group, "toni" said:
>
> . . .take her home, watch her, and look deeply into her eyes when you talk
> to her. She will tell you when she is ready to go.
>
> A calm humane death (at home IMO) is the last great gift you will ever be
> able to give her . . .
>
> this feels calm, and i hope it is humane. but it is really tearing me up. i
> know others out there have been there. thanks for your thoughts and
> prayers.

Bttngl
July 13th 06, 04:48 AM
Matthew wrote:
> Something I hold in my heart we lost our precious a few months ago she was
> almost 20. I am sorry for your loss
>
>
> Always remember We will be there even if you can't see us.
> We are always Watching and Waiting. That cool puff of air you
> feel across your cheek, that fleeting touch, the feeling you have
> that I was walking across your bed, that moment you swear you can
> hear us, that flicker of movement out of the corner of your eye.
> Is just our way of saying I love you and I am with you always even
> in the darkest time We Will Always Be There. Till our paws touch again
> always know we love you and cherished our special time together
>
> A Prayer for Animals
>
> Hear our humble prayer, O God, for our friends the animals,
> especially for animals who are suffering;
> for animals that are overworked, underfed and cruelly treated;
> for all wistful creatures in captivity that beat their wings against bars;
> for any that are hunted or lost or deserted or frightened or hungry;
> for all that must be put death.
> We entreat for them all Thy mercy and pity,
> and for those who deal with them we ask a heart of compassion
> and gentle hands and kindly words.
> Make us, ourselves, to be true friends to animals,
> and so to share the blessings of the merciful.
> by Albert Schweitzer
>


bttngl wrote:
THAT's BEAUTIFUL!! Both of them!! Matthew, God bless you in Your
loss.


"fredsheck" > wrote in message:
> ...
> > my kitty, ebony, is 25 years old. no lie..... . my mom passed
> > in 2001, and when my dad died last september, he became my cat again.

bttngl wrote:
Fred, I am very sorry for the loss of your parents, God have mercy on
you in
your sorrow and give you strength.

Fred wrote:
> > i was advised to have him euthenized. i was not prepared to make that
> > decision right then, so i took him home....

> > this feels calm, and i hope it is humane. but it is really tearing me up.
> > i know others out there have been there. thanks for your thoughts and
> > prayers.

bttngl wrote:
It is SO hard to watch one so sick and it is SO hard to watch one be
"put down".
When "the time" comes where the cat is suffering and hope is gone, with
humans
we have little choice but to keep suffering until our time comes
naturally. Whereas
with animals when all possibility of survival is gone, a painless
release is offered.

It would be so nice to drift away in a soft sound sleep as a human
being when our time
comes, NATURALLY. However, it does not always come in the master "plan"
it seems. People "pass away" in all sorts of manners of ways and times
of life. And, so it is with
animals.

Do you have pain medication to ease the suffering of your cat? If
mine was able to be
kept FREE from PAIN, and still take nourishment and do what she has to
do, even with
help. I too could NOT put her down. As long as she was NOT suffering
in intractable
PAIN. An elderly cat has arthritis and aches and pains like humans do,
are there meds
for such?

I really am touched by your pain and anguish and all and hope you find
peace of heart,
laughter and JOY back in your life soon.....bttngl

Matthew
July 13th 06, 05:16 AM
"Bttngl" > wrote in message
ups.com...
>
> Matthew wrote:
>> Something I hold in my heart we lost our precious a few months ago she
>> was
>> almost 20. I am sorry for your loss
>>
>>
>> Always remember We will be there even if you can't see us.
>> We are always Watching and Waiting. That cool puff of air you
>> feel across your cheek, that fleeting touch, the feeling you have
>> that I was walking across your bed, that moment you swear you can
>> hear us, that flicker of movement out of the corner of your eye.
>> Is just our way of saying I love you and I am with you always even
>> in the darkest time We Will Always Be There. Till our paws touch again
>> always know we love you and cherished our special time together
>>
>> A Prayer for Animals
>>
>> Hear our humble prayer, O God, for our friends the animals,
>> especially for animals who are suffering;
>> for animals that are overworked, underfed and cruelly treated;
>> for all wistful creatures in captivity that beat their wings against
>> bars;
>> for any that are hunted or lost or deserted or frightened or hungry;
>> for all that must be put death.
>> We entreat for them all Thy mercy and pity,
>> and for those who deal with them we ask a heart of compassion
>> and gentle hands and kindly words.
>> Make us, ourselves, to be true friends to animals,
>> and so to share the blessings of the merciful.
>> by Albert Schweitzer
>>
>
>
> bttngl wrote:
> THAT's BEAUTIFUL!! Both of them!! Matthew, God bless you in Your
> loss.
>
The first one was wrote by myself to add to the rainbow bridge poem which I
thought was incomplete
a friend from another cat group has it posted on his website I did it when
I was know as No More Retail for my display name
http://members.shaw.ca/black-sky/rainbow-bridge.html

the other I saw posted on my vets wall and it is one I will always remember

22brix
July 13th 06, 06:12 AM
Matthew,

Every time I read the first one I cry--it's beautifully written. Thank you
for sharing it with us.

Bonnie

"Matthew" > wrote in message
...
>
> "Bttngl" > wrote in message
> ups.com...
>>
>> Matthew wrote:
>>> Something I hold in my heart we lost our precious a few months ago she
>>> was
>>> almost 20. I am sorry for your loss
>>>
>>>
>>> Always remember We will be there even if you can't see us.
>>> We are always Watching and Waiting. That cool puff of air you
>>> feel across your cheek, that fleeting touch, the feeling you have
>>> that I was walking across your bed, that moment you swear you can
>>> hear us, that flicker of movement out of the corner of your eye.
>>> Is just our way of saying I love you and I am with you always even
>>> in the darkest time We Will Always Be There. Till our paws touch again
>>> always know we love you and cherished our special time together
>>>
>>> A Prayer for Animals
>>>
>>> Hear our humble prayer, O God, for our friends the animals,
>>> especially for animals who are suffering;
>>> for animals that are overworked, underfed and cruelly treated;
>>> for all wistful creatures in captivity that beat their wings against
>>> bars;
>>> for any that are hunted or lost or deserted or frightened or hungry;
>>> for all that must be put death.
>>> We entreat for them all Thy mercy and pity,
>>> and for those who deal with them we ask a heart of compassion
>>> and gentle hands and kindly words.
>>> Make us, ourselves, to be true friends to animals,
>>> and so to share the blessings of the merciful.
>>> by Albert Schweitzer
>>>
>>
>>
>> bttngl wrote:
>> THAT's BEAUTIFUL!! Both of them!! Matthew, God bless you in Your
>> loss.
>>
> The first one was wrote by myself to add to the rainbow bridge poem which
> I thought was incomplete
> a friend from another cat group has it posted on his website I did it
> when I was know as No More Retail for my display name
> http://members.shaw.ca/black-sky/rainbow-bridge.html
>
> the other I saw posted on my vets wall and it is one I will always
> remember
>

Matthew
July 13th 06, 06:16 AM
I wrote it from my heart that is how I truly feel about my children with
four legs they mean the world to me and I will do what ever it takes to
makes sure they have a long and healthy life with me.

"22brix" > wrote in message
...
> Matthew,
>
> Every time I read the first one I cry--it's beautifully written. Thank
> you for sharing it with us.
>
> Bonnie
>
> "Matthew" > wrote in message
> ...
>>
>> "Bttngl" > wrote in message
>> ups.com...
>>>
>>> Matthew wrote:
>>>> Something I hold in my heart we lost our precious a few months ago
>>>> she was
>>>> almost 20. I am sorry for your loss
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Always remember We will be there even if you can't see us.
>>>> We are always Watching and Waiting. That cool puff of air you
>>>> feel across your cheek, that fleeting touch, the feeling you have
>>>> that I was walking across your bed, that moment you swear you can
>>>> hear us, that flicker of movement out of the corner of your eye.
>>>> Is just our way of saying I love you and I am with you always even
>>>> in the darkest time We Will Always Be There. Till our paws touch again
>>>> always know we love you and cherished our special time together
>>>>
>>>> A Prayer for Animals
>>>>
>>>> Hear our humble prayer, O God, for our friends the animals,
>>>> especially for animals who are suffering;
>>>> for animals that are overworked, underfed and cruelly treated;
>>>> for all wistful creatures in captivity that beat their wings against
>>>> bars;
>>>> for any that are hunted or lost or deserted or frightened or hungry;
>>>> for all that must be put death.
>>>> We entreat for them all Thy mercy and pity,
>>>> and for those who deal with them we ask a heart of compassion
>>>> and gentle hands and kindly words.
>>>> Make us, ourselves, to be true friends to animals,
>>>> and so to share the blessings of the merciful.
>>>> by Albert Schweitzer
>>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> bttngl wrote:
>>> THAT's BEAUTIFUL!! Both of them!! Matthew, God bless you in Your
>>> loss.
>>>
>> The first one was wrote by myself to add to the rainbow bridge poem
>> which I thought was incomplete
>> a friend from another cat group has it posted on his website I did it
>> when I was know as No More Retail for my display name
>> http://members.shaw.ca/black-sky/rainbow-bridge.html
>>
>> the other I saw posted on my vets wall and it is one I will always
>> remember
>>
>
>

22brix
July 13th 06, 06:27 AM
I know what you mean--I don't have kids and my cats and dogs are my
children. What's hard to take is their shorter life-span--you end up
grieving over and over again. And it really doesn't get any easier. Bonnie

"Matthew" > wrote in message
...
>I wrote it from my heart that is how I truly feel about my children with
>four legs they mean the world to me and I will do what ever it takes to
>makes sure they have a long and healthy life with me.
>
> "22brix" > wrote in message
> ...
>> Matthew,
>>
>> Every time I read the first one I cry--it's beautifully written. Thank
>> you for sharing it with us.
>>
>> Bonnie
>>
>> "Matthew" > wrote in message
>> ...
>>>
>>> "Bttngl" > wrote in message
>>> ups.com...
>>>>
>>>> Matthew wrote:
>>>>> Something I hold in my heart we lost our precious a few months ago
>>>>> she was
>>>>> almost 20. I am sorry for your loss
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> Always remember We will be there even if you can't see us.
>>>>> We are always Watching and Waiting. That cool puff of air you
>>>>> feel across your cheek, that fleeting touch, the feeling you have
>>>>> that I was walking across your bed, that moment you swear you can
>>>>> hear us, that flicker of movement out of the corner of your eye.
>>>>> Is just our way of saying I love you and I am with you always even
>>>>> in the darkest time We Will Always Be There. Till our paws touch again
>>>>> always know we love you and cherished our special time together
>>>>>
>>>>> A Prayer for Animals
>>>>>
>>>>> Hear our humble prayer, O God, for our friends the animals,
>>>>> especially for animals who are suffering;
>>>>> for animals that are overworked, underfed and cruelly treated;
>>>>> for all wistful creatures in captivity that beat their wings against
>>>>> bars;
>>>>> for any that are hunted or lost or deserted or frightened or hungry;
>>>>> for all that must be put death.
>>>>> We entreat for them all Thy mercy and pity,
>>>>> and for those who deal with them we ask a heart of compassion
>>>>> and gentle hands and kindly words.
>>>>> Make us, ourselves, to be true friends to animals,
>>>>> and so to share the blessings of the merciful.
>>>>> by Albert Schweitzer
>>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> bttngl wrote:
>>>> THAT's BEAUTIFUL!! Both of them!! Matthew, God bless you in Your
>>>> loss.
>>>>
>>> The first one was wrote by myself to add to the rainbow bridge poem
>>> which I thought was incomplete
>>> a friend from another cat group has it posted on his website I did it
>>> when I was know as No More Retail for my display name
>>> http://members.shaw.ca/black-sky/rainbow-bridge.html
>>>
>>> the other I saw posted on my vets wall and it is one I will always
>>> remember
>>>
>>
>>
>
>

fredsheck
July 13th 06, 08:59 AM
thank you matthew.

"Matthew" > wrote in message
...
> Something I hold in my heart we lost our precious a few months ago she
was
> almost 20. I am sorry for your loss
>
>
> Always remember We will be there even if you can't see us.
> We are always Watching and Waiting. That cool puff of air you
> feel across your cheek, that fleeting touch, the feeling you have
> that I was walking across your bed, that moment you swear you can
> hear us, that flicker of movement out of the corner of your eye.
> Is just our way of saying I love you and I am with you always even
> in the darkest time We Will Always Be There. Till our paws touch again
> always know we love you and cherished our special time together
>
> A Prayer for Animals
>
> Hear our humble prayer, O God, for our friends the animals,
> especially for animals who are suffering;
> for animals that are overworked, underfed and cruelly treated;
> for all wistful creatures in captivity that beat their wings against bars;
> for any that are hunted or lost or deserted or frightened or hungry;
> for all that must be put death.
> We entreat for them all Thy mercy and pity,
> and for those who deal with them we ask a heart of compassion
> and gentle hands and kindly words.
> Make us, ourselves, to be true friends to animals,
> and so to share the blessings of the merciful.
> by Albert Schweitzer
>
>
>
> "fredsheck" > wrote in message
> ...
> > my kitty, ebony, is 25 years old. no lie. he was my cat when i was in
> > high
> > school. I graduated in 1983, and left for college. he was loved and
> > cared
> > for (obviously well) my my parents for the next two decades. my mom
> > passed
> > in 2001, and when my dad died last september, he became my cat again.
> >
> > anyway, it is pretty clear that he is dying now. he's had "spells" of
> > extreme lethargy/weakness would become bedridden for a few days every
few
> > months, but each time he would wake up as if from a nice long nap and
say,
> > "where's my breakfast?" well, he's been real sick now since saturday.
i
> > took him in to the vet on sat. afternoon. i was told what i basically
> > already knew--that he was super sick (maybe advanced thyroid or maybe
> > kidney
> > disease), blood/urine tests and subcutaneas fluids were suggested sort
of
> > as
> > an aside, but that he might die in the next room or maybe not, but he
> > probably wouldn't bounce back this time. of couse i was advised to have
> > him
> > euthenized. i was not prepared to make that decision right then, so i
> > took
> > him home.
> >
> > he has been peaceful, it seems, since then. He responds, minimally, to
> > petting and being spoken to. He has meowed quietly just a few times,
but
> > not crying or moaning. he is peaceful still, but just a flicker of life
> > remains. i have to go to work again now. please please tell me that
this
> > is ok. he is in his bed in his home. he is not eating or drinking. I
> > sense that he is dying, that he is peaceful and not suffering much, if
> > any.
> > in another thread in this group, "toni" said:
> >
> > . . .take her home, watch her, and look deeply into her eyes when you
talk
> > to her. She will tell you when she is ready to go.
> >
> > A calm humane death (at home IMO) is the last great gift you will ever
be
> > able to give her . . .
> >
> > this feels calm, and i hope it is humane. but it is really tearing me
up.
> > i
> > know others out there have been there. thanks for your thoughts and
> > prayers.
> >
> >
>
>

fredsheck
July 13th 06, 09:27 AM
"Bttngl" > wrote
> "fredsheck" > wrote
> > > my kitty, ebony, is 25 years old. no lie..... . my mom passed
> > > in 2001, and when my dad died last september, he became my cat again.
>
> bttngl wrote:
> Fred, I am very sorry for the loss of your parents, God have mercy on
> you in
> your sorrow and give you strength.

thank you for that. ebony knew my parents very well--better i guess than
anyone else alive other than my sister and i. he loved them and they loved
him. my mother frequently said that she thought he was an angel.

>
> Fred wrote:
> > > i was advised to have him euthenized. i was not prepared to make
that
> > > decision right then, so i took him home....
>
> > > this feels calm, and i hope it is humane. but it is really tearing me
up.
> > > i know others out there have been there. thanks for your thoughts and
> > > prayers.
>
> bttngl wrote:
> It is SO hard to watch one so sick and it is SO hard to watch one be
> "put down".
> When "the time" comes where the cat is suffering and hope is gone, with
> humans
> we have little choice but to keep suffering until our time comes
> naturally. Whereas
> with animals when all possibility of survival is gone, a painless
> release is offered.
>
> It would be so nice to drift away in a soft sound sleep as a human
> being when our time
> comes, NATURALLY. However, it does not always come in the master "plan"
> it seems. People "pass away" in all sorts of manners of ways and times
> of life. And, so it is with
> animals.
>
> Do you have pain medication to ease the suffering of your cat? If
> mine was able to be
> kept FREE from PAIN, and still take nourishment and do what she has to
> do, even with
> help. I too could NOT put her down. As long as she was NOT suffering
> in intractable
> PAIN. An elderly cat has arthritis and aches and pains like humans do,
> are there meds
> for such?
>
> I really am touched by your pain and anguish and all and hope you find
> peace of heart,
> laughter and JOY back in your life soon.....bttngl
>

thank you for your kind words. ebony shows no indication of pain now. he
woke me up in distress saturday a.m.--moaning terribly, unable to get up.
but since then he has been very quiet. he has always been extremely verbal
kitty. so if he is suffering in there, i sure can't tell. i pray that he
is not. he is just fading, ever so slowly.

Bttngl
July 13th 06, 09:42 AM
YES, but, during their short span don't you laugh a heck of a lot more
during their short span? and are they easier to care for when you get
down to it during those short years of laughter? When you sign on to
have a pet you also have to know the final lines in the tiny small
print that you have see in magnification because at that point all you
can see is "KITTY" "CAN I KEEP IT???" I have to believe in a
"beyond" and in my "beyond" I will have all of my pets who are "passed
on" and are waiting for me ( who don't pee, poop, age, get sick, or any
of that!! hahhahaha)


22brix wrote:
> I know what you mean--I don't have kids and my cats and dogs are my
> children. What's hard to take is their shorter life-span--you end up
> grieving over and over again. And it really doesn't get any easier. Bonnie

fredsheck
July 13th 06, 09:50 AM
"Deeanna" > wrote in message
oups.com...
> hi. It has taken me some time to respond to this because I lost my
> beloved kitty Rocky last July and I still grieve. He was with me 16 of
> my 20 years in the Navy, he was from Naples, Italy and he travelled
> with me across both the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans.

> As soon as I started reading your post, I started crying because I know
> all too well how you feel. I believe what you are doing is the right
> thing, providing Ebony is not suffering.


thank you. I don't sense that he is . . . but i'm afraid that he might be
or will be in the future. i' had very nearly decided to take him in
tomarrow . . .


>At least you will be able to
> say good-bye to him, which is very impotant for you. I was not able to
> say good-bye to Rocky because he passed away at the vet where he had
> been for four days, over a weekend. I did not go visit him on Saturday
> because I did not want to upset him, but now I am eaten up with guilt
> because I did not go. He passed away the following day and I did not
> find out until Monday morning when I went to the vet to see how he was
> responding to the treatment. The words that vet tech said to me are
> just as clear as now as they were a year ago. If I had it to do over
> again, I would not have taken him in. He was not in pain either,
> although he had quit eating and was moving really slow.


yep, sure sounds familiar. this is such a heart-wrenching decision.
thanks for your thoughts.


>I had him
> cremated, as I have had all of my cats, and two hamsters, and the
> clinic held his ashes hostage until we paid our bill in full. My
> husband even offered to pay for the ashes alone and pay the remainder
> of the bill a day or two later, but they refused.
>
> Please do not feel guilty for keeping him home. He is comfortable at
> home and with someone who loves him very much and whom he loves as
> well. He will be grateful to be home and in familiar, quiet
> surroundings instead of in a cage in a loud, strange place.
>
> When he does pass away, you are going to be ever so heartbroken.
> Surrounding yourself with fellow animal lovers who have been in your
> shoes will help a great deal.


this (posting here) has actually helped quite a bit already.


>Even though I had to go to work after I
> found about Rocky, I was comforted somewhat by knowing that my
> co-workers understood what I was going through. Before I went to work,
> I went home and got out a bunch of pictures of Rocky and put them in a
> photo album so I could look at him in all the various places we lived
> and all the things he got into and it actually helped ease the sadness.
> The five babies I had remaining also helped me a great deal as well,
> as did the two we adopted to replace the empty space in our home Rocky
> left behind.
>
> It would help you a great deal if you can find a support group to talk
> to as well. There are many on the internet or, if you like, you could
> start one. I'm sure many of us will be here for you when the time
> comes. I know I will be.
>
> You are in my thoughts and prayers.
> Deeanna
>


Deeanna, your comments mean so much i really appreciate them.




> fredsheck wrote:
> > my kitty, ebony, is 25 years old. no lie. he was my cat when i was in
high
> > school. I graduated in 1983, and left for college. he was loved and
cared
> > for (obviously well) my my parents for the next two decades. my mom
passed
> > in 2001, and when my dad died last september, he became my cat again.
> >
> > anyway, it is pretty clear that he is dying now. he's had "spells" of
> > extreme lethargy/weakness would become bedridden for a few days every
few
> > months, but each time he would wake up as if from a nice long nap and
say,
> > "where's my breakfast?" well, he's been real sick now since saturday.
i
> > took him in to the vet on sat. afternoon. i was told what i basically
> > already knew--that he was super sick (maybe advanced thyroid or maybe
kidney
> > disease), blood/urine tests and subcutaneas fluids were suggested sort
of as
> > an aside, but that he might die in the next room or maybe not, but he
> > probably wouldn't bounce back this time. of couse i was advised to have
him
> > euthenized. i was not prepared to make that decision right then, so i
took
> > him home.
> >
> > he has been peaceful, it seems, since then. He responds, minimally, to
> > petting and being spoken to. He has meowed quietly just a few times,
but
> > not crying or moaning. he is peaceful still, but just a flicker of life
> > remains. i have to go to work again now. please please tell me that
this
> > is ok. he is in his bed in his home. he is not eating or drinking. I
> > sense that he is dying, that he is peaceful and not suffering much, if
any.
> > in another thread in this group, "toni" said:
> >
> > . . .take her home, watch her, and look deeply into her eyes when you
talk
> > to her. She will tell you when she is ready to go.
> >
> > A calm humane death (at home IMO) is the last great gift you will ever
be
> > able to give her . . .
> >
> > this feels calm, and i hope it is humane. but it is really tearing me
up. i
> > know others out there have been there. thanks for your thoughts and
> > prayers.
>

Bttngl
July 13th 06, 09:54 AM
You are more than welcome.

> > bttngl wrote:
> > Fred, I am very sorry for the loss of your parents, God have mercy on
> > you in
> > your sorrow and give you strength.
>
> thank you for that. ebony knew my parents very well--better i guess than
> anyone else alive other than my sister and i. he loved them and they loved
> him. my mother frequently said that she thought he was an angel.
>

I 3-way called my parents and my daughter today and they said it was
the 1st time the contact was such between them in 9 years (same as how
long we've seen my parents). It was a very good talk. My granddaughter
was busy playing or else we could've had 4 generations on. I said all
that to say, every day I call Mom and Dad 1-3 x daily depending on
their health or mine because it is getting 'down to it' so to speak.
My heart goes out to you as I said as I feel my own grief for my own
folks leaving and they haven't quite gone yet, but they talk of it
every day. Dad says he just wants to go "home".

When animals sense it is "time", I have found over the years, my pets
lots of times will disappear (when they were outside pets on a chicken
farm we worked on). I had heard that they go off into the woods when
it is "time" and find an "alone" spot and lay down and go to sleep -
and don't wake up. I have heard old indians do that too....???

> > Fred wrote:
> > > > i was advised to have him euthenized. i was not prepared to make
> that
> > > > decision right then, so i took him home....
> >
> > > > this feels calm, and i hope it is humane. but it is really tearing me
> up.
> > > > i know others out there have been there. thanks for your thoughts and
> > > > prayers.
> >
> > bttngl wrote:
> > It is SO hard to watch one so sick and it is SO hard to watch one be
> > "put down".
> > When "the time" comes where the cat is suffering and hope is gone, with
> > humans
> > we have little choice but to keep suffering until our time comes
> > naturally. Whereas
> > with animals when all possibility of survival is gone, a painless
> > release is offered.
> >
> > It would be so nice to drift away in a soft sound sleep as a human
> > being when our time
> > comes, NATURALLY. However, it does not always come in the master "plan"
> > it seems. People "pass away" in all sorts of manners of ways and times
> > of life. And, so it is with
> > animals.
> >
> > Do you have pain medication to ease the suffering of your cat? If
> > mine was able to be
> > kept FREE from PAIN, and still take nourishment and do what she has to
> > do, even with
> > help. I too could NOT put her down. As long as she was NOT suffering
> > in intractable
> > PAIN. An elderly cat has arthritis and aches and pains like humans do,
> > are there meds
> > for such?
> >
> > I really am touched by your pain and anguish and all and hope you find
> > peace of heart,
> > laughter and JOY back in your life soon.....bttngl
> >
>
> thank you for your kind words. ebony shows no indication of pain now. he
> woke me up in distress saturday a.m.--moaning terribly, unable to get up.
> but since then he has been very quiet. he has always been extremely verbal
> kitty. so if he is suffering in there, i sure can't tell. i pray that he
> is not. he is just fading, ever so slowly.

fredsheck
July 13th 06, 02:40 PM
"fredsheck" > wrote in message
...
> my kitty, ebony, is 25 years old. no lie. he was my cat when i was in
high
> school. I graduated in 1983, and left for college. he was loved and
cared
> for (obviously well) my my parents for the next two decades. my mom
passed
> in 2001, and when my dad died last september, he became my cat again.
>
> anyway, it is pretty clear that he is dying now. he's had "spells" of
> extreme lethargy/weakness would become bedridden for a few days every few
> months, but each time he would wake up as if from a nice long nap and say,
> "where's my breakfast?" well, he's been real sick now since saturday. i
> took him in to the vet on sat. afternoon. i was told what i basically
> already knew--that he was super sick (maybe advanced thyroid or maybe
kidney
> disease), blood/urine tests and subcutaneas fluids were suggested sort of
as
> an aside, but that he might die in the next room or maybe not, but he
> probably wouldn't bounce back this time. of couse i was advised to have
him
> euthenized. i was not prepared to make that decision right then, so i
took
> him home.
>
> he has been peaceful, it seems, since then. He responds, minimally, to
> petting and being spoken to. He has meowed quietly just a few times, but
> not crying or moaning. he is peaceful still, but just a flicker of life
> remains. i have to go to work again now. please please tell me that this
> is ok. he is in his bed in his home. he is not eating or drinking. I
> sense that he is dying, that he is peaceful and not suffering much, if
any.
> in another thread in this group, "toni" said:
>
> . . .take her home, watch her, and look deeply into her eyes when you talk
> to her. She will tell you when she is ready to go.
>
> A calm humane death (at home IMO) is the last great gift you will ever be
> able to give her . . .
>
> this feels calm, and i hope it is humane. but it is really tearing me up.
i
> know others out there have been there. thanks for your thoughts and
> prayers.
>
>

ebony died peacefully in the night. thanks for all who responded.

Bttngl
July 13th 06, 02:52 PM
I'm terribly sorry for your loss. Sending you prayers and heartfelt
thoughts. I know it hurts. May God bless you. bttngl

fredsheck wrote:
> "fredsheck" > wrote in message
> ...
> > my kitty, ebony, is 25 years old. no lie. he was my cat when i was in
> high
> > school. I graduated in 1983, and left for college. he was loved and
> cared
> > for (obviously well) my my parents for the next two decades. my mom
> passed
> > in 2001, and when my dad died last september, he became my cat again.
> >
> > anyway, it is pretty clear that he is dying now. he's had "spells" of
> > extreme lethargy/weakness would become bedridden for a few days every few
> > months, but each time he would wake up as if from a nice long nap and say,
> > "where's my breakfast?" well, he's been real sick now since saturday. i
> > took him in to the vet on sat. afternoon. i was told what i basically
> > already knew--that he was super sick (maybe advanced thyroid or maybe
> kidney
> > disease), blood/urine tests and subcutaneas fluids were suggested sort of
> as
> > an aside, but that he might die in the next room or maybe not, but he
> > probably wouldn't bounce back this time. of couse i was advised to have
> him
> > euthenized. i was not prepared to make that decision right then, so i
> took
> > him home.
> >
> > he has been peaceful, it seems, since then. He responds, minimally, to
> > petting and being spoken to. He has meowed quietly just a few times, but
> > not crying or moaning. he is peaceful still, but just a flicker of life
> > remains. i have to go to work again now. please please tell me that this
> > is ok. he is in his bed in his home. he is not eating or drinking. I
> > sense that he is dying, that he is peaceful and not suffering much, if
> any.
> > in another thread in this group, "toni" said:
> >
> > . . .take her home, watch her, and look deeply into her eyes when you talk
> > to her. She will tell you when she is ready to go.
> >
> > A calm humane death (at home IMO) is the last great gift you will ever be
> > able to give her . . .
> >
> > this feels calm, and i hope it is humane. but it is really tearing me up.
> i
> > know others out there have been there. thanks for your thoughts and
> > prayers.
> >
> >
>
> ebony died peacefully in the night. thanks for all who responded.

Bttngl
July 13th 06, 02:52 PM
I'm terribly sorry for your loss. Sending you prayers and heartfelt
thoughts. I know it hurts. May God bless you. bttngl

fredsheck wrote:
> "fredsheck" > wrote in message
> ...
> > my kitty, ebony, is 25 years old. no lie. he was my cat when i was in
> high
> > school. I graduated in 1983, and left for college. he was loved and
> cared
> > for (obviously well) my my parents for the next two decades. my mom
> passed
> > in 2001, and when my dad died last september, he became my cat again.
> >
> > anyway, it is pretty clear that he is dying now. he's had "spells" of
> > extreme lethargy/weakness would become bedridden for a few days every few
> > months, but each time he would wake up as if from a nice long nap and say,
> > "where's my breakfast?" well, he's been real sick now since saturday. i
> > took him in to the vet on sat. afternoon. i was told what i basically
> > already knew--that he was super sick (maybe advanced thyroid or maybe
> kidney
> > disease), blood/urine tests and subcutaneas fluids were suggested sort of
> as
> > an aside, but that he might die in the next room or maybe not, but he
> > probably wouldn't bounce back this time. of couse i was advised to have
> him
> > euthenized. i was not prepared to make that decision right then, so i
> took
> > him home.
> >
> > he has been peaceful, it seems, since then. He responds, minimally, to
> > petting and being spoken to. He has meowed quietly just a few times, but
> > not crying or moaning. he is peaceful still, but just a flicker of life
> > remains. i have to go to work again now. please please tell me that this
> > is ok. he is in his bed in his home. he is not eating or drinking. I
> > sense that he is dying, that he is peaceful and not suffering much, if
> any.
> > in another thread in this group, "toni" said:
> >
> > . . .take her home, watch her, and look deeply into her eyes when you talk
> > to her. She will tell you when she is ready to go.
> >
> > A calm humane death (at home IMO) is the last great gift you will ever be
> > able to give her . . .
> >
> > this feels calm, and i hope it is humane. but it is really tearing me up.
> i
> > know others out there have been there. thanks for your thoughts and
> > prayers.
> >
> >
>
> ebony died peacefully in the night. thanks for all who responded.

22brix
July 13th 06, 04:23 PM
I'm so sorry--it's hard to let them go. Ebony lived an incredibly long time
and was obviously well loved. I think you did the right thing--he died
peacefully in his favorite place and in his time. You have many years of
memories and I hope they comfort you.

Hugs, Bonnie

Val
July 13th 06, 04:37 PM
Fred, I am currently going through the same thing, only with a
6-week-old kitten I am fostering. It's never easy tos ay goodbye.
Take comfort in what my supervisor just told me: he could have died a
terrible death alone, outside, unloved and uncared for like so many
kitties do. He is home, warm, loved, and comfortable, and you gave him
a lifelong gift that is beyond worth.

God Bless You For Caring!

The bestest gift you could give to him is to help a homeless kitty who
needs your love out there somewhere. Don't be afraid to love again.

Valerie


fredsheck wrote:
> my kitty, ebony, is 25 years old. no lie. he was my cat when i was in high
> school. I graduated in 1983, and left for college. he was loved and cared
> for (obviously well) my my parents for the next two decades. my mom passed
> in 2001, and when my dad died last september, he became my cat again.
>
> anyway, it is pretty clear that he is dying now. he's had "spells" of
> extreme lethargy/weakness would become bedridden for a few days every few
> months, but each time he would wake up as if from a nice long nap and say,
> "where's my breakfast?" well, he's been real sick now since saturday. i
> took him in to the vet on sat. afternoon. i was told what i basically
> already knew--that he was super sick (maybe advanced thyroid or maybe kidney
> disease), blood/urine tests and subcutaneas fluids were suggested sort of as
> an aside, but that he might die in the next room or maybe not, but he
> probably wouldn't bounce back this time. of couse i was advised to have him
> euthenized. i was not prepared to make that decision right then, so i took
> him home.
>
> he has been peaceful, it seems, since then. He responds, minimally, to
> petting and being spoken to. He has meowed quietly just a few times, but
> not crying or moaning. he is peaceful still, but just a flicker of life
> remains. i have to go to work again now. please please tell me that this
> is ok. he is in his bed in his home. he is not eating or drinking. I
> sense that he is dying, that he is peaceful and not suffering much, if any.
> in another thread in this group, "toni" said:
>
> . . .take her home, watch her, and look deeply into her eyes when you talk
> to her. She will tell you when she is ready to go.
>
> A calm humane death (at home IMO) is the last great gift you will ever be
> able to give her . . .
>
> this feels calm, and i hope it is humane. but it is really tearing me up. i
> know others out there have been there. thanks for your thoughts and
> prayers.

fredsheck
July 13th 06, 05:25 PM
"Val" > wrote in message
ups.com...
> Fred, I am currently going through the same thing, only with a
> 6-week-old kitten I am fostering. It's never easy tos ay goodbye.
> Take comfort in what my supervisor just told me: he could have died a
> terrible death alone, outside, unloved and uncared for like so many
> kitties do. He is home, warm, loved, and comfortable, and you gave him
> a lifelong gift that is beyond worth.
>
> God Bless You For Caring!
>
> The bestest gift you could give to him is to help a homeless kitty who
> needs your love out there somewhere. Don't be afraid to love again.
>
> Valerie
> \

val, thank you words, they really are comforting.

i read your post about your dying baby. i can really relate to the going to
work part--saying goodbye and telling him that its ok to go, then trying to
function at work and then come home and try to prepare myself for how i
might find him. i did that four times and each time i came home i found him
barely alive, still. he finally let go sometime last night after i put him
to bed at 3:00 a.m. and when i woke to check on him at 6:30. couldn't have
been more peaceful, and i had plenty of opportunity to love him and say
goodbye. so for this i am thankful.

fredsheck
July 13th 06, 06:24 PM
thank you all for being with me last night and this morning. who knew that
the internet could be such a warm place.

we'll have a little funeral and bury him in the garden. rest in peace,
ebony.

Matthew
July 13th 06, 06:31 PM
There is one thing that no matter what color, sex, culture, ethic
choosing, etc. We the true cat slaves all love cats with all our hearts
that makes us a brotherhood and sisterhood no matter what we are. And when
one of our family is in pain we are there to wrap our arms around them or
place a strong hand on your shoulder to say it will be ok.


"fredsheck" > wrote in message
...
> thank you all for being with me last night and this morning. who knew
> that
> the internet could be such a warm place.
>
> we'll have a little funeral and bury him in the garden. rest in peace,
> ebony.
>
>

Michael Lane
July 14th 06, 12:15 AM
Fredsheck wrote:

we'll have a little funeral and bury him in the garden. rest in peace,
ebony.
-----------------------------------------------

A clink of the glass to Ebony. A faithful friend. You will see him at
the Bridge .
No words can ease the pain you feel.

Michael Lane

" in vino veritas "
Pliny 100 A D

fredsheck
July 14th 06, 04:50 AM
"Deeanna" > wrote

> It would help you a great deal if you can find a support group to talk
> to as well. There are many on the internet or, if you like, you could
> start one. I'm sure many of us will be here for you when the time
> comes. I know I will be.

well i guess that time has come. when you say support groups do you mean
like alt.support . . . ? (i haven't searched them).

John Ross Mc Master
July 14th 06, 05:58 AM
On Thu, 13 Jul 2006 20:50:34 -0700, "fredsheck"
> wrote:

>
>"Deeanna" > wrote
>
>> It would help you a great deal if you can find a support group to talk
>> to as well. There are many on the internet or, if you like, you could
>> start one. I'm sure many of us will be here for you when the time
>> comes. I know I will be.
>
>well i guess that time has come. when you say support groups do you mean
>like alt.support . . . ? (i haven't searched them).
>

I think he's talking about a grief support group in the real world.
Some cities have them.

http://www.petloss.com/groups.htm

The main page of http://www.petloss.com has many useful links.

fredsheck
July 14th 06, 08:46 PM
"John Ross Mc Master" > wrote in message
...
> On Thu, 13 Jul 2006 20:50:34 -0700, "fredsheck"
> > wrote:
>
> >
> >"Deeanna" > wrote
> >
> >> It would help you a great deal if you can find a support group to talk
> >> to as well. There are many on the internet or, if you like, you could
> >> start one. I'm sure many of us will be here for you when the time
> >> comes. I know I will be.
> >
> >well i guess that time has come. when you say support groups do you mean
> >like alt.support . . . ? (i haven't searched them).
> >
>
> I think he's talking about a grief support group in the real world.
> Some cities have them.
>
> http://www.petloss.com/groups.htm
>
> The main page of http://www.petloss.com has many useful links.

thank you for that site it seems to have a lot of good stuff. i did find a
support group in my area but it meets only once a month.

i buryed ebony yesterday. i'm been pretty out of it since, and today has
been very painful. i know it will ease with time.

cybercat
July 14th 06, 08:54 PM
"fredsheck" > wrote in message
...
>
> "John Ross Mc Master" > wrote in message
> ...
> > On Thu, 13 Jul 2006 20:50:34 -0700, "fredsheck"
> > > wrote:
> >
> > >
> > >"Deeanna" > wrote
> > >
> > >> It would help you a great deal if you can find a support group to
talk
> > >> to as well. There are many on the internet or, if you like, you
could
> > >> start one. I'm sure many of us will be here for you when the time
> > >> comes. I know I will be.
> > >
> > >well i guess that time has come. when you say support groups do you
mean
> > >like alt.support . . . ? (i haven't searched them).
> > >
> >
> > I think he's talking about a grief support group in the real world.
> > Some cities have them.
> >
> > http://www.petloss.com/groups.htm
> >
> > The main page of http://www.petloss.com has many useful links.
>
> thank you for that site it seems to have a lot of good stuff. i did find
a
> support group in my area but it meets only once a month.
>
> i buryed ebony yesterday. i'm been pretty out of it since, and today has
> been very painful. i know it will ease with time.
>
Fred, just be good to yourself, as good as you can be.

When you can, think about helping another cat. There are so many that needs
homes, and you have so much to give. It took me two months after my cat died
to go to a shelter and look for another, but I am so glad I did. There was
only one Ebony and nobody can replace her. But they each are wonderful in
their own way. Adopting an adult means you get to skip the "kitten crazies,"
too.

fredsheck
July 14th 06, 09:21 PM
"cybercat" > wrote in message
...
>
> "fredsheck" > wrote in message
> ...
> >
> > "John Ross Mc Master" > wrote in message
> > ...
> > > On Thu, 13 Jul 2006 20:50:34 -0700, "fredsheck"
> > > > wrote:
> > >
> > > >
> > > >"Deeanna" > wrote
> > > >
> > > >> It would help you a great deal if you can find a support group to
> talk
> > > >> to as well. There are many on the internet or, if you like, you
> could
> > > >> start one. I'm sure many of us will be here for you when the time
> > > >> comes. I know I will be.
> > > >
> > > >well i guess that time has come. when you say support groups do you
> mean
> > > >like alt.support . . . ? (i haven't searched them).
> > > >
> > >
> > > I think he's talking about a grief support group in the real world.
> > > Some cities have them.
> > >
> > > http://www.petloss.com/groups.htm
> > >
> > > The main page of http://www.petloss.com has many useful links.
> >
> > thank you for that site it seems to have a lot of good stuff. i did
find
> a
> > support group in my area but it meets only once a month.
> >
> > i buryed ebony yesterday. i'm been pretty out of it since, and today
has
> > been very painful. i know it will ease with time.
> >
> Fred, just be good to yourself, as good as you can be.
>
> When you can, think about helping another cat. There are so many that
needs
> homes, and you have so much to give. It took me two months after my cat
died
> to go to a shelter and look for another, but I am so glad I did. There was
> only one Ebony and nobody can replace her. But they each are wonderful in
> their own way. Adopting an adult means you get to skip the "kitten
crazies,"
> too.
>
>

thanks, cc i am definately thinking about that. one problem is that i would
need to move to a place that takes pets. yep, ebony was my illegal roommate
here. i'm sure my neighbors knew, but even though one guy works for
management no one was gonna rat us out. ebony was not exactly the quiet and
demure type. especially when he was saying, "get out there and get me some
NEW food, we had this LAST night." now i know why there are so many
varieties and flavors of cat food. not like dog food, which as far as i can
tell is pretty much "dog food"-flavored!

Deeanna
July 14th 06, 11:20 PM
Hi Fred. I am so sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you
because I have been there so many times, as have others in this thread.
I had no idea it would come so quickly.

I agree with Valerie; don't be afraid to love again. I have heard so
many people say they just can't get another because they know they will
lose him/her; I am the complete opposite; I lose one and I get two
more, even though I still have some. It is not to replace the one who
is gone; afterall, they are not replacable since each one has its own
unique personality, habits and sounds; it is to replace that absence of
the 3rd, 5th, or 10th kitty who has gone to rainbow heaven. When you
are used to having a certain presence in your home then it is taken
from you, it leaves a void in the heart as well the soul.

I hope you continue to post here. We are here for you. Eventually, I
hope you start sharing some stories about Ebony and all that he got
into when he was young. Remembering and talking about him helps the
grieving process.
Deeanna
fredsheck wrote:
> thank you all for being with me last night and this morning. who knew that
> the internet could be such a warm place.
>
> we'll have a little funeral and bury him in the garden. rest in peace,
> ebony.

Eva Quesnell
July 16th 06, 09:49 PM
On Wed, 12 Jul 2006, fredsheck wrote:

> my kitty, ebony, is 25 years old. no lie. he was my cat when i was in high
> school. I graduated in 1983, and left for college. he was loved and cared
> for (obviously well) my my parents for the next two decades. my mom passed
> in 2001, and when my dad died last september, he became my cat again.
>
> anyway, it is pretty clear that he is dying now. he's had "spells" of
> extreme lethargy/weakness would become bedridden for a few days every few
> months, but each time he would wake up as if from a nice long nap and say,
> "where's my breakfast?" well, he's been real sick now since saturday. i
> took him in to the vet on sat. afternoon. i was told what i basically
> already knew--that he was super sick (maybe advanced thyroid or maybe kidney
> disease), blood/urine tests and subcutaneas fluids were suggested sort of as
> an aside, but that he might die in the next room or maybe not, but he
> probably wouldn't bounce back this time. of couse i was advised to have him
> euthenized. i was not prepared to make that decision right then, so i took
> him home.
>
> he has been peaceful, it seems, since then. He responds, minimally, to
> petting and being spoken to. He has meowed quietly just a few times, but
> not crying or moaning. he is peaceful still, but just a flicker of life
> remains. i have to go to work again now. please please tell me that this
> is ok. he is in his bed in his home. he is not eating or drinking. I
> sense that he is dying, that he is peaceful and not suffering much, if any.
> in another thread in this group, "toni" said:
>
> . . .take her home, watch her, and look deeply into her eyes when you talk
> to her. She will tell you when she is ready to go.
>
> A calm humane death (at home IMO) is the last great gift you will ever be
> able to give her . . .
>
> this feels calm, and i hope it is humane. but it is really tearing me up. i
> know others out there have been there. thanks for your thoughts and
> prayers.

I think that you will know just what to do by the end of this poem:

IF IT SHOULD BE

If it should be that I grow frail and weak,
and pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then you must do what must be done,
For this last battle cannot be won.

You will be sad, I understand.
Don't let your grief then stay your hand.
For this day, more than the rest,
Your love and friendship stands the test.

We've had so many happy years,
What is to come can hold no fears.
Would you want me to suffer so?
When that time comes, please let me go.

Take me where my needs they'll tend,
But stay beside me to the end.
Hold me firm and speak to me,
Until my eyes no longer see.

I know in time you that you will see,
The kindness that you do for me.
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I've been saved.

Do not grieve -- it must be you,
Who must decide this thing to do.
We've been so close we two these years,
Remember joy amongst your tears.

Anonymous

Eva Quesnell
July 16th 06, 09:55 PM
On Thu, 13 Jul 2006, fredsheck wrote:

>
> ebony died peacefully in the night. thanks for all who responded.

Awww, I'm so sorry. I sent my poem too late. But I am glad it was
peaceful and you were there. Cry it out. It's all you can do. Then go
on and love another little cat. ;'(

Eva

Deeanna
July 17th 06, 02:51 PM
Hi Fred. Sorry I haven't been online; I was visiting my mother this
weekend and she does not have the internet.

You can find support groups both online and locally. There are many
out there as I have ran across them while searching the internet. Try
www.catchannel.com. You can find a place that supports chat rooms
which also offer privacy and start one of your own. Locally, you can
check with Petco, Petsmart, the humane society or other shelters to see
if they have a pet bereavement group or if they know of one.

I was fortunate to have my husband and friends as my support group when
Rocky passed away. Because they knew how I felt about my furry "son",
they all understood my loss. Even now, when I talk about him and start
crying, they understand. Anyone who loves animals and/or who has
compassion will always understand. Ignore the people who say "it was
just a cat" or "it was just a dog"; in fact, stay as far away from
folks like that as you can. They have no compassion whatsoever and
will never understand your grief.
Deeanna


fredsheck wrote:
> "Deeanna" > wrote
>
> > It would help you a great deal if you can find a support group to talk
> > to as well. There are many on the internet or, if you like, you could
> > start one. I'm sure many of us will be here for you when the time
> > comes. I know I will be.
>
> well i guess that time has come. when you say support groups do you mean
> like alt.support . . . ? (i haven't searched them).

Deeanna
July 17th 06, 09:40 PM
Eva,
This is just beautiful. It brought tears to my eyes as i thought of
all my babies and their last days.
Deeanna


Eva Quesnell wrote:
> On Wed, 12 Jul 2006, fredsheck wrote:
>
> > my kitty, ebony, is 25 years old. no lie. he was my cat when i was in high
> > school. I graduated in 1983, and left for college. he was loved and cared
> > for (obviously well) my my parents for the next two decades. my mom passed
> > in 2001, and when my dad died last september, he became my cat again.
> >
> > anyway, it is pretty clear that he is dying now. he's had "spells" of
> > extreme lethargy/weakness would become bedridden for a few days every few
> > months, but each time he would wake up as if from a nice long nap and say,
> > "where's my breakfast?" well, he's been real sick now since saturday. i
> > took him in to the vet on sat. afternoon. i was told what i basically
> > already knew--that he was super sick (maybe advanced thyroid or maybe kidney
> > disease), blood/urine tests and subcutaneas fluids were suggested sort of as
> > an aside, but that he might die in the next room or maybe not, but he
> > probably wouldn't bounce back this time. of couse i was advised to have him
> > euthenized. i was not prepared to make that decision right then, so i took
> > him home.
> >
> > he has been peaceful, it seems, since then. He responds, minimally, to
> > petting and being spoken to. He has meowed quietly just a few times, but
> > not crying or moaning. he is peaceful still, but just a flicker of life
> > remains. i have to go to work again now. please please tell me that this
> > is ok. he is in his bed in his home. he is not eating or drinking. I
> > sense that he is dying, that he is peaceful and not suffering much, if any.
> > in another thread in this group, "toni" said:
> >
> > . . .take her home, watch her, and look deeply into her eyes when you talk
> > to her. She will tell you when she is ready to go.
> >
> > A calm humane death (at home IMO) is the last great gift you will ever be
> > able to give her . . .
> >
> > this feels calm, and i hope it is humane. but it is really tearing me up. i
> > know others out there have been there. thanks for your thoughts and
> > prayers.
>
> I think that you will know just what to do by the end of this poem:
>
> IF IT SHOULD BE
>
> If it should be that I grow frail and weak,
> and pain should keep me from my sleep,
> Then you must do what must be done,
> For this last battle cannot be won.
>
> You will be sad, I understand.
> Don't let your grief then stay your hand.
> For this day, more than the rest,
> Your love and friendship stands the test.
>
> We've had so many happy years,
> What is to come can hold no fears.
> Would you want me to suffer so?
> When that time comes, please let me go.
>
> Take me where my needs they'll tend,
> But stay beside me to the end.
> Hold me firm and speak to me,
> Until my eyes no longer see.
>
> I know in time you that you will see,
> The kindness that you do for me.
> Although my tail its last has waved,
> From pain and suffering I've been saved.
>
> Do not grieve -- it must be you,
> Who must decide this thing to do.
> We've been so close we two these years,
> Remember joy amongst your tears.
>
> Anonymous