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View Full Version : Apologies To All - I'm a Christian Now! PRAISE GOD


Mrs. Dash must die -
September 3rd 06, 03:58 PM
I just got saved, I became a Christian last night, now I love Jesus and
Im sorry for being such a miserable troll.

Now that I love Jesus more than life itself, I'd rather be dead than
offend anyone.

Im not going to curse anymore either.

Im leaving usent for a while, but if you don't miss I do completely
understand.

I really am sorry for being such a troll and an interruption. I am not
even worthy if you are reading my apology.

The truth is, my Dad paid my way through college (which I flunked
out)...
My mom can barely stand to take my calls any more (when I can find a
phone to call her)

I am currently living with my sister in PA, but hope to get my old job
back as a flight attendant. T'he money is ok, but I still like to
travel.

Im in tears right now JESUS SAVED MY SOUL! AND THANK GOD HE DID

I was headed to hell in a hand basket.

Yes! I have seen the light. I was thinking about offing myself last
night, but I turned the televison on,, and some back woods preacher
kept saying, "Jesus can save your soul"
he just kept saying it.

Everytime he would say it, the Holy Ghost would drive those words into
my heart, till it drove me to my knees.

I SHOUTED "YES LORD I BELIEVE, SAVE ME". and right there, right here
last night, I got saved.

I am sorry for the way I have antagonized chung. in fact this is the
last time Ill use his email.
It was just devilish of me.

God has bigger plans for me now, once again I am sorry for my ugliness
in front of everyone.

Thanks for listening

Benedict Corpuz

<i am amazed how the tears just keep flowing from my eyes, something
good is happening on the inside of me, the more I cry, the more the
bitterness and hurt leaves me>

nancree
September 3rd 06, 04:20 PM
Mrs. Dash must die - wrote:
> I just got saved, I became a Christian last night, now I love Jesus and
> Im sorry for being such a miserable troll.
>
>
-------------------------------------
Hmm-mm. Chung in wolf's clothing??
N>

Nancy Young
September 3rd 06, 04:23 PM
"nancree" > wrote

> Hmm-mm. ***** in wolf's clothing??

Don't say that name

angel
September 3rd 06, 04:34 PM
Your post has a hint of sarcasm. But if you really decided against ctb
and giving life another try then good for you :) I'm happy for you :)


Mrs. Dash must die - wrote:
> I just got saved, I became a Christian last night, now I love Jesus and
> Im sorry for being such a miserable troll.
>
> Now that I love Jesus more than life itself, I'd rather be dead than
> offend anyone.
>
> Im not going to curse anymore either.
>
> Im leaving usent for a while, but if you don't miss I do completely
> understand.
>
> I really am sorry for being such a troll and an interruption. I am not
> even worthy if you are reading my apology.
>
> The truth is, my Dad paid my way through college (which I flunked
> out)...
> My mom can barely stand to take my calls any more (when I can find a
> phone to call her)
>
> I am currently living with my sister in PA, but hope to get my old job
> back as a flight attendant. T'he money is ok, but I still like to
> travel.
>
> Im in tears right now JESUS SAVED MY SOUL! AND THANK GOD HE DID
>
> I was headed to hell in a hand basket.
>
> Yes! I have seen the light. I was thinking about offing myself last
> night, but I turned the televison on,, and some back woods preacher
> kept saying, "Jesus can save your soul"
> he just kept saying it.
>
> Everytime he would say it, the Holy Ghost would drive those words into
> my heart, till it drove me to my knees.
>
> I SHOUTED "YES LORD I BELIEVE, SAVE ME". and right there, right here
> last night, I got saved.
>
> I am sorry for the way I have antagonized chung. in fact this is the
> last time Ill use his email.
> It was just devilish of me.
>
> God has bigger plans for me now, once again I am sorry for my ugliness
> in front of everyone.
>
> Thanks for listening
>
> Benedict Corpuz
>
> <i am amazed how the tears just keep flowing from my eyes, something
> good is happening on the inside of me, the more I cry, the more the
> bitterness and hurt leaves me>

The Polish-Kraut
September 3rd 06, 04:36 PM
>
> Im leaving usent for a while, but if you don't miss I do completely
> understand.
>


DON'T HURRY BACK !!!

cybercat
September 3rd 06, 05:21 PM
"angel" > wrote in message
ups.com...
> Your post has a hint of sarcasm. But if you really decided against ctb
> and giving life another try then good for you :) I'm happy for you :)

What is "ctb?"



>
>
> Mrs. Dash must die - wrote:
> > I just got saved, I became a Christian last night, now I love Jesus and
> > Im sorry for being such a miserable troll.
> >
> > Now that I love Jesus more than life itself, I'd rather be dead than
> > offend anyone.
> >
> > Im not going to curse anymore either.
> >
> > Im leaving usent for a while, but if you don't miss I do completely
> > understand.
> >
> > I really am sorry for being such a troll and an interruption. I am not
> > even worthy if you are reading my apology.
> >
> > The truth is, my Dad paid my way through college (which I flunked
> > out)...
> > My mom can barely stand to take my calls any more (when I can find a
> > phone to call her)
> >
> > I am currently living with my sister in PA, but hope to get my old job
> > back as a flight attendant. T'he money is ok, but I still like to
> > travel.
> >
> > Im in tears right now JESUS SAVED MY SOUL! AND THANK GOD HE DID
> >
> > I was headed to hell in a hand basket.
> >
> > Yes! I have seen the light. I was thinking about offing myself last
> > night, but I turned the televison on,, and some back woods preacher
> > kept saying, "Jesus can save your soul"
> > he just kept saying it.
> >
> > Everytime he would say it, the Holy Ghost would drive those words into
> > my heart, till it drove me to my knees.
> >
> > I SHOUTED "YES LORD I BELIEVE, SAVE ME". and right there, right here
> > last night, I got saved.
> >
> > I am sorry for the way I have antagonized chung. in fact this is the
> > last time Ill use his email.
> > It was just devilish of me.
> >
> > God has bigger plans for me now, once again I am sorry for my ugliness
> > in front of everyone.
> >
> > Thanks for listening
> >
> > Benedict Corpuz
> >
> > <i am amazed how the tears just keep flowing from my eyes, something
> > good is happening on the inside of me, the more I cry, the more the
> > bitterness and hurt leaves me>
>



--
Posted via a free Usenet account from http://www.teranews.com

Dave Smith
September 3rd 06, 05:34 PM
"Mrs. Dash must die -" wrote:

> I just got saved, I became a Christian last night, now I love Jesus and
> Im sorry for being such a miserable troll.
>
> Now that I love Jesus more than life itself, I'd rather be dead than
> offend anyone.
>
> Im not going to curse anymore either.
>
> Im leaving usent for a while, but if you don't miss I do completely
> understand.
>
> I really am sorry for being such a troll and an interruption. I am not
> even worthy if you are reading my apology.
>
> The truth is, my Dad paid my way through college (which I flunked
> out)...
> My mom can barely stand to take my calls any more (when I can find a
> phone to call her)
>
> I am currently living with my sister in PA, but hope to get my old job
> back as a flight attendant. T'he money is ok, but I still like to
> travel.
>
> Im in tears right now JESUS SAVED MY SOUL! AND THANK GOD HE DID
>
> I was headed to hell in a hand basket.
>
> Yes! I have seen the light. I was thinking about offing myself last
> night, but I turned the televison on,, and some back woods preacher
> kept saying, "Jesus can save your soul"
> he just kept saying it.
>
> Everytime he would say it, the Holy Ghost would drive those words into
> my heart, till it drove me to my knees.
>
> I SHOUTED "YES LORD I BELIEVE, SAVE ME". and right there, right here
> last night, I got saved.
>
> I am sorry for the way I have antagonized chung. in fact this is the
> last time Ill use his email.
> It was just devilish of me.
>
> God has bigger plans for me now, once again I am sorry for my ugliness
> in front of everyone.
>
> Thanks for listening
>
> Benedict Corpuz
>
> <i am amazed how the tears just keep flowing from my eyes, something
> good is happening on the inside of me, the more I cry, the more the
> bitterness and hurt leaves me>

This pathetic post reminds me of an episode of the short live Fridays show
on NBC where that pathetically unfunny Andy Kaufman carried on about having
found Jesus and being born again. I would be pretty tacky for someone to
take an opportunity like that show to preach his new found religion to an
unreceptive audience. It is equally inappropriate to poke fun at the
religious attitude of others.

There are special Christmas cards for people like this. On the front it
says "Jesus Loves You" and inside it says "Everyone else thinks you are an
asshole". That about sums it up.

aem
September 3rd 06, 05:44 PM
Dave Smith wrote:

> There are special Christmas cards for people like this. On the front it
> says "Jesus Loves You" and inside it says "Everyone else thinks you are an
> asshole". That about sums it up.

The perfect line for the ultimate troll. -aem

Sam E
September 3rd 06, 07:42 PM
On 3 Sep 2006 07:58:41 -0700, "spam name snipped" <spam address
snipped> wrote:

>I just got saved, I became a Christian last night, now I love Jesus and
>Im sorry for being such a miserable troll.
>

No, you're not. If you were you WOULDN'T HAVE HIT SEND after writing
all that garbage. You know there's no evidence for God/Santa
Claus/Jesus/Easter Bunny/Satan/Tooth Fairy/Holy Ghost/etc except what
comes out of people's distorted imaginations.

[snip]

ensenadajim
September 3rd 06, 09:03 PM
On 3 Sep 2006 07:58:41 -0700, "Mrs. Dash must die -"
> wrote:

>I just got saved, I became a Christian last night, now I love Jesus and
>Im sorry for being such a miserable troll.

Just in time, because your post proves you are brain dead.


jim

The Cat Whisperer
September 3rd 06, 09:35 PM
DITTO

GW is the king of "I make no mistakes, jesus told me to do it, how can I be
wrong"

What a stupid asshat



> wrote in message
...
> On 3 Sep 2006 07:58:41 -0700, "Mrs. Dash must die -"
> > wrote:
>
>>I just got saved, I became a Christian last night, now I love Jesus and
>>Im sorry for being such a miserable troll.
>>
>
> I doubt that.
> REAL Christians never apologize for bad behavior, they make excuses.
> Haven't you
> learned anything from Jimmy Swaggart and GWBush?



--
Posted via a free Usenet account from http://www.teranews.com

cybercat
September 3rd 06, 09:51 PM
"The Cat Whisperer" > wrote in message
.. .
> DITTO
>
> GW is the king of "I make no mistakes, jesus told me to do it, how can I
be
> wrong"
>
> What a stupid asshat

Whoa, you can be a good Christian and still know that GWB is an asshat!


>
>
>
> > wrote in message
> ...
> > On 3 Sep 2006 07:58:41 -0700, "Mrs. Dash must die -"
> > > wrote:
> >
> >>I just got saved, I became a Christian last night, now I love Jesus and
> >>Im sorry for being such a miserable troll.
> >>
> >
> > I doubt that.
> > REAL Christians never apologize for bad behavior, they make excuses.
> > Haven't you
> > learned anything from Jimmy Swaggart and GWBush?
>
>
>
> --
> Posted via a free Usenet account from http://www.teranews.com
>



--
Posted via a free Usenet account from http://www.teranews.com

46erjoe
September 3rd 06, 10:09 PM
Well good for you. Now go out and learn what true evangelism is.



On 3 Sep 2006 07:58:41 -0700, "Mrs. Dash must die -"
> wrotF:

>I just got saved, I became a Christian last night, now I love Jesus and
>Im sorry for being such a miserable troll.
>
>Now that I love Jesus more than life itself, I'd rather be dead than
>offend anyone.
>
>Im not going to curse anymore either.
>
>Im leaving usent for a while, but if you don't miss I do completely
>understand.
>
>I really am sorry for being such a troll and an interruption. I am not
>even worthy if you are reading my apology.
>
>The truth is, my Dad paid my way through college (which I flunked
>out)...
>My mom can barely stand to take my calls any more (when I can find a
>phone to call her)
>
>I am currently living with my sister in PA, but hope to get my old job
>back as a flight attendant. T'he money is ok, but I still like to
>travel.
>
>Im in tears right now JESUS SAVED MY SOUL! AND THANK GOD HE DID
>
>I was headed to hell in a hand basket.
>
>Yes! I have seen the light. I was thinking about offing myself last
>night, but I turned the televison on,, and some back woods preacher
>kept saying, "Jesus can save your soul"
>he just kept saying it.
>
>Everytime he would say it, the Holy Ghost would drive those words into
>my heart, till it drove me to my knees.
>
>I SHOUTED "YES LORD I BELIEVE, SAVE ME". and right there, right here
>last night, I got saved.
>
>I am sorry for the way I have antagonized chung. in fact this is the
>last time Ill use his email.
>It was just devilish of me.
>
>God has bigger plans for me now, once again I am sorry for my ugliness
>in front of everyone.
>
>Thanks for listening
>
>Benedict Corpuz
>
><i am amazed how the tears just keep flowing from my eyes, something
>good is happening on the inside of me, the more I cry, the more the
>bitterness and hurt leaves me>

Mordechai Housman
September 4th 06, 12:23 AM
"Nancy Young" > wrote in message
. ..
>
> "nancree" > wrote
>
>> Hmm-mm. ***** in wolf's clothing??
>
> Don't say that name

The devil we won't!!

Oh, wait, I'm Jewish. We don't believe in the devil. Oh damn. Uh,
wait....

Oh, never mind.

angel
September 4th 06, 07:50 PM
cybercat wrote:
> "angel" > wrote in message
> ups.com...
> > Your post has a hint of sarcasm. But if you really decided against ctb
> > and giving life another try then good for you :) I'm happy for you :)
>
> What is "ctb?"

Stands for "Catching The Bus". A mild term to kill yourself. I feel
euthansia is a much nicer term :)

John Doe
September 4th 06, 07:57 PM
Why would God need your praise?

Off-topic crossposted troll.


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From: "Mrs. Dash must die -" <chungismybeyotchi yahoo.com>
Newsgroups: rec.food.cooking,rec.pets.cats.health+behav,alt.ho me.repair,alt.suicide.holiday
Subject: Apologies To All - I'm a Christian Now! PRAISE GOD
Date: 3 Sep 2006 07:58:41 -0700
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I just got saved, I became a Christian last night, now I love Jesus and
Im sorry for being such a miserable troll.

Now that I love Jesus more than life itself, I'd rather be dead than
offend anyone.

Im not going to curse anymore either.

Im leaving usent for a while, but if you don't miss I do completely
understand.

I really am sorry for being such a troll and an interruption. I am not
even worthy if you are reading my apology.

The truth is, my Dad paid my way through college (which I flunked
out)...
My mom can barely stand to take my calls any more (when I can find a
phone to call her)

I am currently living with my sister in PA, but hope to get my old job
back as a flight attendant. T'he money is ok, but I still like to
travel.

Im in tears right now JESUS SAVED MY SOUL! AND THANK GOD HE DID

I was headed to hell in a hand basket.

Yes! I have seen the light. I was thinking about offing myself last
night, but I turned the televison on,, and some back woods preacher
kept saying, "Jesus can save your soul"
he just kept saying it.

Everytime he would say it, the Holy Ghost would drive those words into
my heart, till it drove me to my knees.

I SHOUTED "YES LORD I BELIEVE, SAVE ME". and right there, right here
last night, I got saved.

I am sorry for the way I have antagonized chung. in fact this is the
last time Ill use his email.
It was just devilish of me.

God has bigger plans for me now, once again I am sorry for my ugliness
in front of everyone.

Thanks for listening

Benedict Corpuz

<i am amazed how the tears just keep flowing from my eyes, something
good is happening on the inside of me, the more I cry, the more the
bitterness and hurt leaves me>

someone
September 4th 06, 09:19 PM
On Mon, 04 Sep 2006 18:57:52 GMT, John Doe >
wrote:

>Why would God need your praise?
>

Constant praise is his only means of support, considering that he
exists only in perverted imaginations. Any reasonable being wants
praise only when it's appropriate.

[snip]

DWACON
September 4th 06, 11:51 PM
"someone" > wrote in message
...
> On Mon, 04 Sep 2006 18:57:52 GMT, John Doe >
> wrote:
>
>>Why would God need your praise?
>>
>
> Constant praise is his only means of support, considering that he
> exists only in perverted imaginations. Any reasonable being wants
> praise only when it's appropriate.
>
> [snip]


The delicious ribs I had... marinated in a fine Australian merlot and slow
roasted to perfection... are reason enough for praise!


--
The generation that used acid to escape reality
is now using antacid to deal with reality
http://www.dwacon.com