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HillaryN08
January 21st 07, 08:36 PM
Hello,

I have a two year old, human companion, male, feline friend.

As a stern vegetarian and animal rights (PeTA) activist, I want to provide
completetly natural care for my companion.

He is an outdoor-only companion, as I believe animals are most happy and
healthy when they are in their own natural environments. I don't want him
indoors where he would be subjected to human materialism. Plus, he is
tramautized when he sees George W. Bush on TV. Whenever he sees that mad
man on TV, he hisses, growls, and bats at the TV. Smart kitty!

Unfortunetly, my human companion feline was tainted by some neocon
tendencies. When he was a child, I used to leave a radio on outside for
him. I kept the radio tuned to NPR Public Radio for his emotional and
mental growth, but unfortunetly one day the radio was inadvertently tuned to
the Rush Limbaugh Show. He immiedietly developed rabid necon behavior, such
as racist hissing and growling at Asian-American (Siamese) felines and
African-American (black) felines. Worse yet, he even developed speciest
behavor and began commiting hate crimes against birds and chimpmunks. I had
no choice but to declaw him.

He is un-neutered, as I believe he should be allowed to openly explore his
sexuality no different than I do. Run with it, kitty! Run like a child in
a field!

What is the recommended diet for the vegetarian, un-neutered, declawed,
outdoor-only, human companion, feline?

I currently feed him meal made from soybean and onions, followed by
chocolate pudding as dessert.

Thanks!

mlbriggs
January 21st 07, 09:09 PM
On Sun, 21 Jan 2007 14:36:56 -0500, HillaryN08 wrote:

> Hello,
>
> I have a two year old, human companion, male, feline friend.
>
> As a stern vegetarian and animal rights (PeTA) activist, I want to provide
> completetly natural care for my companion.
>
> He is an outdoor-only companion, as I believe animals are most happy and
> healthy when they are in their own natural environments. I don't want him
> indoors where he would be subjected to human materialism. Plus, he is
> tramautized when he sees George W. Bush on TV. Whenever he sees that mad
> man on TV, he hisses, growls, and bats at the TV. Smart kitty!
>
> Unfortunetly, my human companion feline was tainted by some neocon
> tendencies. When he was a child, I used to leave a radio on outside for
> him. I kept the radio tuned to NPR Public Radio for his emotional and
> mental growth, but unfortunetly one day the radio was inadvertently tuned to
> the Rush Limbaugh Show. He immiedietly developed rabid necon behavior, such
> as racist hissing and growling at Asian-American (Siamese) felines and
> African-American (black) felines. Worse yet, he even developed speciest
> behavor and began commiting hate crimes against birds and chimpmunks. I had
> no choice but to declaw him.
>
> He is un-neutered, as I believe he should be allowed to openly explore his
> sexuality no different than I do. Run with it, kitty! Run like a child in
> a field!
>
> What is the recommended diet for the vegetarian, un-neutered, declawed,
> outdoor-only, human companion, feline?
>
> I currently feed him meal made from soybean and onions, followed by
> chocolate pudding as dessert.
>
> Thanks!


TROLL!!!!!!!

Lynne
January 21st 07, 09:29 PM
on Sun, 21 Jan 2007 20:09:06 GMT, mlbriggs > wrote:

> TROLL!!!!!!!

Yep.

--
Lynne

Mark Edwards
January 21st 07, 09:29 PM
[a few snips]

No cluons were harmed when HillaryN08 wrote:

>I have a two year old, human companion, male, feline friend.

I hope you meant Human-companion rather than someone who dresses up as a
"furry".

>As a stern vegetarian and animal rights (PeTA) activist, I want to
>provide completetly natural
>care for my companion.

Does this mean you're a B&D or S&M kind of vegetarian? Can we see your
whip? Also, Serutan™ is "Natures" spelled backwards.

If you want completely natural, you will make him kill his own prey. Of
course, my four claim that "natural" means waiting on them hand and paw.


>He is an outdoor-only companion, as I believe animals are most
>happy and healthy when they are in their own natural environments.
>I don't want him indoors where he would be subjected to human
> materialism.

Nothing worse than a running-dog capitalist feline lackey.


>Plus, he is tramautized when he sees George W. Bush on TV. Whenever
>he sees that mad man on TV, he hisses, growls, and bats at the
>TV. Smart kitty!

As we all know, politics is the catnip of the masses (yeah, yeah,
religion, blah, blah) and makes everyone crazy. In fact, this behavior
sounds like my father during an election year.


>... and began commiting hate crimes against birds and chimpmunks.
>I had no choice but to declaw him.

What a shame. We had ours deboned instead. It's still inhumane, but our
cats go where we want, and STAY there. Also, it adds a new dimension to
that Bonzai Kitty hoax.


>He is un-neutered, as I believe he should be allowed to openly
>explore his sexuality no different than I do. Run with it, kitty!
>Run like a child in a field!

Ahem. *I* have been snipped, and it hasn't kept *me* from "exploring my
sexuality" at all. In fact, I'm exploring my sexuality RIGHT NOW, BAYBEEE.
Oh wait, did I just say that out loud?


>What is the recommended diet for the vegetarian, un-neutered,
> declawed, outdoor-only, human companion, feline?

Buffalo wings, chocolate, stuffed jalapeños and a nice cold beer. Or a
live antelope with ranch-style dressing.


>I currently feed him meal made from soybean and onions,
>followed by chocolate pudding as dessert.

As long as you're going to poison your companion, don't forget the herbal
poinsettia and lily extracts.


Hugs and satirical Purrs,
Mark
--
Proof of Sanity Forged Upon Request

Enfilade
January 21st 07, 10:45 PM
> >Plus, he is tramautized when he sees George W. Bush on TV. Whenever
> >he sees that mad man on TV, he hisses, growls, and bats at the
> >TV. Smart kitty!

Wow...so all I need to do to get Nox to stop attempting to overthrow
the white humans in the household in place of an all-black all-feline
government is to stop leaving copies of Malcolm X lying around?!

--Fil

January 22nd 07, 01:16 AM
mlbriggs wrote:
> On Sun, 21 Jan 2007 14:36:56 -0500, HillaryN08 wrote:
>
> > Hello,
> >
> > I have a two year old, human companion, male, feline friend.
> >
> > As a stern vegetarian and animal rights (PeTA) activist, I want to provide
> > completetly natural care for my companion.
> >
> > He is an outdoor-only companion, as I believe animals are most happy and
> > healthy when they are in their own natural environments. I don't want him
> > indoors where he would be subjected to human materialism. Plus, he is
> > tramautized when he sees George W. Bush on TV. Whenever he sees that mad
> > man on TV, he hisses, growls, and bats at the TV. Smart kitty!
> >
> > Unfortunetly, my human companion feline was tainted by some neocon
> > tendencies. When he was a child, I used to leave a radio on outside for
> > him. I kept the radio tuned to NPR Public Radio for his emotional and
> > mental growth, but unfortunetly one day the radio was inadvertently tuned to
> > the Rush Limbaugh Show. He immiedietly developed rabid necon behavior, such
> > as racist hissing and growling at Asian-American (Siamese) felines and
> > African-American (black) felines. Worse yet, he even developed speciest
> > behavor and began commiting hate crimes against birds and chimpmunks. I had
> > no choice but to declaw him.
> >
> > He is un-neutered, as I believe he should be allowed to openly explore his
> > sexuality no different than I do. Run with it, kitty! Run like a child in
> > a field!
> >
> > What is the recommended diet for the vegetarian, un-neutered, declawed,
> > outdoor-only, human companion, feline?
> >
> > I currently feed him meal made from soybean and onions, followed by
> > chocolate pudding as dessert.
> >
> > Thanks!
>
>
> TROLL!!!!!!!

Heh. Well, yeah, but I give this post an 8 on the Troll-O-Meter, for
originaility.

Sherry

cybercat
January 22nd 07, 01:56 AM
>
>
> Heh. Well, yeah, but I give this post an 8 on the Troll-O-Meter, for
> originaility.
>

I have to agree.

badwilson
January 22nd 07, 02:12 AM
LOL! A very well thought out and researched troll post. You have hit
on all the major points:
1- indoor/outdoor
2- declawing
3- politics
4- PETA
5- foods harmful to cats
6- racism
It is quite a feat to fit all these points into a single, reasonably
short post.
But I am disappointed that you have neglected to mention anything about
the muu muu wearing readers of this NG and have not posted a link to
your website where we can all view some interesting pics of you in
diapers...
--
Britta
Purring is an automatic safety valve device for dealing with happiness
overflow.
Check out pictures of Vino at:
http://picasaweb.google.com/badwilson



HillaryN08 wrote:
> Hello,
>
> I have a two year old, human companion, male, feline friend.
>
> As a stern vegetarian and animal rights (PeTA) activist, I want to
> provide completetly natural care for my companion.
>
> He is an outdoor-only companion, as I believe animals are most happy
> and healthy when they are in their own natural environments. I don't
> want him indoors where he would be subjected to human materialism.
> Plus, he is tramautized when he sees George W. Bush on TV. Whenever
> he sees that mad man on TV, he hisses, growls, and bats at the TV.
> Smart kitty!
> Unfortunetly, my human companion feline was tainted by some neocon
> tendencies. When he was a child, I used to leave a radio on outside
> for him. I kept the radio tuned to NPR Public Radio for his
> emotional and mental growth, but unfortunetly one day the radio was
> inadvertently tuned to the Rush Limbaugh Show. He immiedietly
> developed rabid necon behavior, such as racist hissing and growling
> at Asian-American (Siamese) felines and African-American (black)
> felines. Worse yet, he even developed speciest behavor and began
> commiting hate crimes against birds and chimpmunks. I had no choice
> but to declaw him.
> He is un-neutered, as I believe he should be allowed to openly
> explore his sexuality no different than I do. Run with it, kitty! Run
> like a child in a field!
>
> What is the recommended diet for the vegetarian, un-neutered,
> declawed, outdoor-only, human companion, feline?
>
> I currently feed him meal made from soybean and onions, followed by
> chocolate pudding as dessert.
>
> Thanks!

January 22nd 07, 02:16 AM
badwilson > wrote:

> LOL! A very well thought out and researched troll post. You have hit
> on all the major points:

> 1- indoor/outdoor
> 2- declawing
> 3- politics
> 4- PETA
> 5- foods harmful to cats
> 6- racism

And (7) lack of neutering - can't forget that one.

> But I am disappointed that you have neglected to mention anything about
> the muu muu wearing readers of this NG and have not posted a link to
> your website where we can all view some interesting pics of you in
> diapers...

Bring back the muu muu man! Bring back the muu muu man!

Joyce

Stormin Mormon
January 22nd 07, 03:33 AM
First, I think it's essential to respect your feline master at
all levels. At cat's natural state of being is as a predator.
So, it's important to respect your cat's self esteem by providing
plenty of mice, rats, and cockroaches for your cat to play with.

Second, I do believe it's important to respect your feline
master's historical context. You see, no one in the historic
feline kingdom has ever used machined or manufactured goods. So
it's essential for you when you approach your feline master, to
completely avoid any manufactured goods. This means you should
shower in warm water, to remove all artificial scents. Using only
scent free baking soda as a scrub. Never dry yourself with a
towel, as this will risk the manufactured scent. And never wear
any shoes or clothes when going out to feed your feline master.

Always greet your feline master by rubbing noses, and then
licking him all over from head to toe. In the most friendly
greeting fashion. Expect him to do the same, as is their custom.
Be sure to then lay on your back, and let him sniff and explore
any part of your body which he wants. It's only right, after all
we have done to his ancestors. You wouldn't want to traumatize
him!

--

Christopher A. Young
You can't shout down a troll.
You have to starve them.
..

"HillaryN08" > wrote in message
...
> Hello,
>
> I have a two year old, human companion, male, feline friend.
>
> As a stern vegetarian and animal rights (PeTA) activist, I want
to provide
> completetly natural care for my companion.
>
> He is an outdoor-only companion, as I believe animals are most
happy and
> healthy when they are in their own natural environments. I
don't want him
> indoors where he would be subjected to human materialism.
Plus, he is
> tramautized when he sees George W. Bush on TV. Whenever he
sees that mad
> man on TV, he hisses, growls, and bats at the TV. Smart kitty!
>
> Unfortunetly, my human companion feline was tainted by some
neocon
> tendencies. When he was a child, I used to leave a radio on
outside for
> him. I kept the radio tuned to NPR Public Radio for his
emotional and
> mental growth, but unfortunetly one day the radio was
inadvertently tuned to
> the Rush Limbaugh Show. He immiedietly developed rabid necon
behavior, such
> as racist hissing and growling at Asian-American (Siamese)
felines and
> African-American (black) felines. Worse yet, he even developed
speciest
> behavor and began commiting hate crimes against birds and
chimpmunks. I had
> no choice but to declaw him.
>
> He is un-neutered, as I believe he should be allowed to openly
explore his
> sexuality no different than I do. Run with it, kitty! Run
like a child in
> a field!
>
> What is the recommended diet for the vegetarian, un-neutered,
declawed,
> outdoor-only, human companion, feline?
>
> I currently feed him meal made from soybean and onions,
followed by
> chocolate pudding as dessert.
>
> Thanks!
>
>
>
>

EvelynVogtGamble(Divamanque)
January 22nd 07, 08:56 PM
HillaryN08 wrote:

(Trolling nonsense snipped)

P-L-O-N-K!

meeee
January 22nd 07, 10:07 PM
"HillaryN08" > wrote in message
...
> Hello,
>
> I have a two year old, human companion, male, feline friend.
>
> As a stern vegetarian and animal rights (PeTA) activist, I want to provide
> completetly natural care for my companion.
>
> He is an outdoor-only companion, as I believe animals are most happy and
> healthy when they are in their own natural environments. I don't want him
> indoors where he would be subjected to human materialism. Plus, he is
> tramautized when he sees George W. Bush on TV. Whenever he sees that mad
> man on TV, he hisses, growls, and bats at the TV. Smart kitty!
>
> Unfortunetly, my human companion feline was tainted by some neocon
> tendencies. When he was a child, I used to leave a radio on outside for
> him. I kept the radio tuned to NPR Public Radio for his emotional and
> mental growth, but unfortunetly one day the radio was inadvertently tuned
> to the Rush Limbaugh Show. He immiedietly developed rabid necon behavior,
> such as racist hissing and growling at Asian-American (Siamese) felines
> and African-American (black) felines. Worse yet, he even developed
> speciest behavor and began commiting hate crimes against birds and
> chimpmunks. I had no choice but to declaw him.
>
> He is un-neutered, as I believe he should be allowed to openly explore his
> sexuality no different than I do. Run with it, kitty! Run like a child
> in a field!
>
> What is the recommended diet for the vegetarian, un-neutered, declawed,
> outdoor-only, human companion, feline?
>
> I currently feed him meal made from soybean and onions, followed by
> chocolate pudding as dessert.
>
> Thanks!
>
>
>
>

Oh well, at least this one has a sense of humour.....and do I detect hints
of intelligent life?