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View Full Version : New Female & 2 Existing Males - Please Help!


January 28th 07, 01:07 AM
Last weekend I found a little female that was living outside and being
fed by a neighbor. That person didn't want to take her in even though
she was really sweet and let the woman pick her up. It was 20 degrees
F - I couldn't leave her out there so I took her in and then to the
vet. By Wednesday the vet had contacted someone based on her
microchip and determined no one wanted her.

I have had Calvin and Claude since they were 8 weeks old. While they
come from different litters, they are just like brothers. Both are
very laid back.

After getting her up to date with shots, I brought her home. It has
been crazy ever since. Cate, when alone is ok. She'll come sit on my
lap, purr like crazy and when she's really happy will curl over onto
her belly. But without warning she'll turn and hiss, bite or hit.
When she even thinks that she can sense the "boys" she is 10 times
worse. It has gotten to the point that I cannot even touch her
without a hiss and growl. I am scared to pet her. She wants to sit
on my lap but doesn't want to be pet.

My boys have seen her and do not really care. They sit by the door
and purr. She sits on the other side and just hisses and growls. The
boys interact with me like she isn't here - they smell her on me I
know but just let me pet them and treat them as normal. If she hisses
loudly, my shy guy (Claude) will hiss back but I haven't seen Cal or
Claude initiate anything. Everything I read says its the existing cat
that is the problem and the new cat will just adapt - this is the
exact opposite.

I went to the store today and got Feliway - lots of it. I use it when
going to the vet, but I bought two of those plug in versions - one in
the living room and one in her room (hall bathroom). I'm hoping the
Feliway will at least take the edge off.

What am I doing wrong here? I have NEVER had a cat on such a hair
trigger before. Before Cal and Claude, I had Boris who was 19 when he
passed. The only time Boris acted like this was when I was 8 and
accidentally shut his tail in the door.

Are there any recommendations for books or articles on how to gain a
cat's trust? I'm not sure how long she was outside, but she does know
how to use a litter box, eats well and uses the scratching post so she
was in a house environment for a while. I do not want to dump her
like everyone else has. I'm willing to be as patient as needed, but
I'd feel better if I had a bit of a game plan because playing by ear
isn't working so well.

Thanks!

Gail
January 28th 07, 01:18 AM
You need to isolate the new cat in a room by herself with bed, food, water,
and litter. Quietly sit inside the room with her and feed her. She will
gradually feel safe in the room and safe with you. Let the boys smell a
towel that has her smell on it. You must integrate her SLOWLY into your
household. She is very scared and this is why she is having this reaction.
Over time, you can open the door to the room and let her go outside of the
room by herself. Always supervise her and put her back into the room after a
time. Time and patience is the key. You are wonderful to take her in.
Gail
> wrote in message
ups.com...
> Last weekend I found a little female that was living outside and being
> fed by a neighbor. That person didn't want to take her in even though
> she was really sweet and let the woman pick her up. It was 20 degrees
> F - I couldn't leave her out there so I took her in and then to the
> vet. By Wednesday the vet had contacted someone based on her
> microchip and determined no one wanted her.
>
> I have had Calvin and Claude since they were 8 weeks old. While they
> come from different litters, they are just like brothers. Both are
> very laid back.
>
> After getting her up to date with shots, I brought her home. It has
> been crazy ever since. Cate, when alone is ok. She'll come sit on my
> lap, purr like crazy and when she's really happy will curl over onto
> her belly. But without warning she'll turn and hiss, bite or hit.
> When she even thinks that she can sense the "boys" she is 10 times
> worse. It has gotten to the point that I cannot even touch her
> without a hiss and growl. I am scared to pet her. She wants to sit
> on my lap but doesn't want to be pet.
>
> My boys have seen her and do not really care. They sit by the door
> and purr. She sits on the other side and just hisses and growls. The
> boys interact with me like she isn't here - they smell her on me I
> know but just let me pet them and treat them as normal. If she hisses
> loudly, my shy guy (Claude) will hiss back but I haven't seen Cal or
> Claude initiate anything. Everything I read says its the existing cat
> that is the problem and the new cat will just adapt - this is the
> exact opposite.
>
> I went to the store today and got Feliway - lots of it. I use it when
> going to the vet, but I bought two of those plug in versions - one in
> the living room and one in her room (hall bathroom). I'm hoping the
> Feliway will at least take the edge off.
>
> What am I doing wrong here? I have NEVER had a cat on such a hair
> trigger before. Before Cal and Claude, I had Boris who was 19 when he
> passed. The only time Boris acted like this was when I was 8 and
> accidentally shut his tail in the door.
>
> Are there any recommendations for books or articles on how to gain a
> cat's trust? I'm not sure how long she was outside, but she does know
> how to use a litter box, eats well and uses the scratching post so she
> was in a house environment for a while. I do not want to dump her
> like everyone else has. I'm willing to be as patient as needed, but
> I'd feel better if I had a bit of a game plan because playing by ear
> isn't working so well.
>
> Thanks!
>

cybercat
January 28th 07, 01:27 AM
> wrote in message
ups.com...
> Last weekend I found a little female that was living outside and being
> fed by a neighbor. That person didn't want to take her in even though
> she was really sweet and let the woman pick her up. It was 20 degrees
> F - I couldn't leave her out there so I took her in and then to the
> vet. By Wednesday the vet had contacted someone based on her
> microchip and determined no one wanted her.
>

You're an angel to take her in. What kind of cretin has the cat chipped
then abandons her? Ugh.

What Gail says has merit. Confining her will ensure she is clear on where
her box is, and will probably comfort her as she will not have to contend
with other cats as well as a new owner and place to live. Make her a nice
little space, and visit her but let her come to you. Patience is all you
need.
You are her guardian angel. She might have frozen to death without you.

LB
January 31st 07, 01:10 AM
On Jan 27, 8:07 pm, wrote:
> [...] I'm willing to be as patient as needed, but
> I'd feel better if I had a bit of a game plan because playing by ear
> isn't working so well.
------------------
You are WONDERFUL! As the prior folks have mentioned, it takes
t.i.m.e.

Good news is, your boys aren't beating up on her--you are all very
lucky. It's just a matter of helping her adjust, and isolating her
then reintroducing her slowly will teach her over time that she's not
in danger.

Don't worry about petting her right away. Sit with her, let her climb
on you, and leave the petting for later, when she seems to invite it.
Even then, don't overdo, or she'll show you when she's had enough!

If you get clobbered a couple of times, don't take it personally--
she's going to be skittish for a while.

My Butch was a shelter fellow. He was always a love, but would get
spooked out of nowhere even months after I had him, and I have scars
to prove it. He seemed to realize mid-bite or scratch that he was
attacking the wrong creature, and he'd run off quickly--you could
almost hear him swearing, "Oh, $hit! I did it agAin!" Sympathy never
stopped me from yelling after him, "Now I know WHY you were in a
shelter!" ...but not once did I consider sending him back.

Enjoy your new challenges--and embrace the boys often. They're making
this all a lot easier on you than most cats would.

IBen Getiner
January 31st 07, 11:10 AM
On Jan 27, 8:07�pm, wrote:
> Last weekend I found a little female that was living outside and being
> fed by a neighbor. *That person didn't want to take her in even though
> she was really sweet and let the woman pick her up. *It was 20 degrees
> F - I couldn't leave her out there so I took her in and then to the
> vet. *By Wednesday the vet had contacted someone based on her
> microchip and determined no one wanted her.
>
> I have had Calvin and Claude since they were 8 weeks old. *While they
> come from different litters, they are just like brothers. *Both are
> very laid back.
>
> After getting her up to date with shots, I brought her home. *It has
> been crazy ever since. *Cate, when alone is ok. *She'll come sit on my
> lap, purr like crazy and when she's really happy will curl over onto
> her belly. *But without warning she'll turn and hiss, bite or hit. *
> When she even thinks that she can sense the "boys" she is 10 times
> worse. *It has gotten to the point that I cannot even touch her
> without a hiss and growl. *I am scared to pet her. *She wants to sit
> on my lap but doesn't want to be pet.
>
> My boys have seen her and do not really care. *They sit by the door
> and purr. *She sits on the other side and just hisses and growls. *The
> boys interact with me like she isn't here - they smell her on me I
> know but just let me pet them and treat them as normal. *If she hisses
> loudly, my shy guy (Claude) will hiss back but I haven't seen Cal or
> Claude initiate anything. *Everything I read says its the existing cat
> that is the problem and the new cat will just adapt - this is the
> exact opposite.
>
> I went to the store today and got Feliway - lots of it. *I use it when
> going to the vet, but I bought two of those plug in versions - one in
> the living room and one in her room (hall bathroom). *I'm hoping the
> Feliway will at least take the edge off.
>
> What am I doing wrong here? *I have NEVER had a cat on such a hair
> trigger before. *Before Cal and Claude, I had Boris who was 19 when he
> passed. *The only time Boris acted like this was when I was 8 and
> accidentally shut his tail in the door.
>
> Are there any recommendations for books or articles on how to gain a
> cat's trust? *I'm not sure how long she was outside, but she does know
> how to use a litter box, eats well and uses the scratching post so she
> was in a house environment for a while. *I do not want to dump her
> like everyone else has. *I'm willing to be as patient as needed, but
> I'd feel better if I had a bit of a game plan because playing by ear
> isn't working so well.
>
> Thanks!

Be careful that you do not allow your other kats to eat or drink or
even come face-to-face with the new arrival. She may very well have
feline leukemia or feline AIDS. Both of which can prove mortal. It
almost happened to us. We found the cutest and happiest little stray.
I wanted it really bad, but my ever-mindful wife put her hand out like
a traffic cop. And she was right. We got him tested and he pas
positive for AIDS. A real bummer.
Good luck...... And next time, keep your post brief, would you
please?? We ain't got all nite here...

IBen

LB
January 31st 07, 11:33 PM
On Jan 31, 6:10 am, "IBen Getiner" > wrote:
[...]
> Good luck...... And next time, keep your post brief, would you
> please?? We ain't got all nite here...
----------------
Your point about the feline leukemia is valid and should be well taken
by anyone who does not wish to infect their cats. Your sling about
brevity, however, fails to recognize that anything posted or read here
is entirely voluntary....

IBen Getiner
February 1st 07, 12:38 PM
On Jan 31, 6:33�pm, "LB" > wrote:
> On Jan 31, 6:10 am, "IBen Getiner" > wrote:
> [...]> Good luck...... *And next time, keep your post brief, would you
> > please?? We ain't got all nite here...
>
> ----------------
> Your point about the feline leukemia is valid and should be well taken
> by anyone who does not wish to infect their cats. Your sling about
> brevity, however, fails to recognize that anything posted or read here
> is entirely voluntary....


Yes. And may I also remind you that this kind of angry retort is also
voluntary. Agressive and judgmental dialog in these here discussion
groups kan get quite nasty, and rather quickly, too. Especially when
pointed at the wrong poster :)


IBen Getiner