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Scott
February 17th 07, 07:06 PM
I've owned a number of cats over the years (but never more than two at
once) and unlike the one we have now, they've all been the opposite of
the stereotype.

They've all been affectionate. They'd frequently curl up with you in
bed or on the couch, or they'd sit in your lap.

"Ellie" the cat we have now, does none of this. And if you try to hold
her she is immediately resistant (so I obviously let her go).

Our previous cat *loved* being held.

I realize no two cats are the same, I guess we've just had luck in the
past.

The frustrating thing in this situation though is that she seems
flat-out selfish.

She expects affection (but gives nothing back) and she seems to want
more and more of it every day.

This one *loves* having her tummy rubbed and what was once a
twice-a-day routine has now become a 4-5X a day routine.

Well actually, it still remains twice a day, but she frequently nags
for it throughout the day.

I get rather tired of that, so I don't "cave to her demands". Twice a
day is all I give her, period.

What makes it more frustrating is she gives nothing back, affection
wise.

She exhibits loving behavior (she will roll over on her back in our
presence, which I understand to be her way of saying "I love you"
based on FAQS I've read) but she doesn't want to be in physical
contact unless it's "by request" and it's her getting the attention.

I suppose if I want guaranteed adoration, I should get a dog. :0)

On a related note, often times she will come into the room I'm in and
start meowing like she wants something. If I'm busy, I'll ignore her
for a bit till the tone changes and it sounds as if she's pleading or
crying.

But when I get up and she takes off, she doesn't make it obvious as to
what she wants and since I don't speak "meow" I have no idea.

She doesn't take you to her food bowl (which I'll still check anyway).
She doesn't lead you to a door (she's an indoor cat but she often
likes looking outside through the screen door).

She's (surprisingly) not asking for affection (when she does, she runs
to her "spot" on an end table in the living room).

I really feel bad about it at times. It's a somewhat helpless
feeling.

But I digress....

cybercat
February 17th 07, 07:17 PM
"Scott" > wrote
> What makes it more frustrating is she gives nothing back, affection
> wise.
>
> She exhibits loving behavior (she will roll over on her back in our
> presence, which I understand to be her way of saying "I love you"
> based on FAQS I've read) but she doesn't want to be in physical
> contact unless it's "by request" and it's her getting the attention.

My first cat was like this, only worse. I adored her. I had no idea
what a nice cat was like! She lived to be 20, and as she got older,
she became slightly more affectionate. She would at least come to
me if I was upset, and be affectionate. She also responded to pretty
songs by seeking affection in her later years. (Stuff with piano and
acoustic guitare, pretty vocals, that sort of thing.)

>
> I suppose if I want guaranteed adoration, I should get a dog. :0)

I call my current cat a puppycat, because she dogs me, follows
me everywhere, has to be touching me, or sits at my feet.

When I found her at the shelter, she leaned into my hand. She
chose me.

> On a related note, often times she will come into the room I'm in and
> start meowing like she wants something. If I'm busy, I'll ignore her
> for a bit till the tone changes and it sounds as if she's pleading or
> crying.
>
> But when I get up and she takes off, she doesn't make it obvious as to
> what she wants and since I don't speak "meow" I have no idea.
>
> She doesn't take you to her food bowl (which I'll still check anyway).
> She doesn't lead you to a door (she's an indoor cat but she often
> likes looking outside through the screen door).
>
> She's (surprisingly) not asking for affection (when she does, she runs
> to her "spot" on an end table in the living room).
>
> I really feel bad about it at times. It's a somewhat helpless
> feeling.
>

So, you don't know what she wants?

Scott
February 17th 07, 07:38 PM
On Sat, 17 Feb 2007 14:17:25 -0500, "cybercat" >
wrote:

>
>"Scott" > wrote
>> What makes it more frustrating is she gives nothing back, affection
>> wise.
>>
>> She exhibits loving behavior (she will roll over on her back in our
>> presence, which I understand to be her way of saying "I love you"
>> based on FAQS I've read) but she doesn't want to be in physical
>> contact unless it's "by request" and it's her getting the attention.
>
>My first cat was like this, only worse. I adored her. I had no idea
>what a nice cat was like! She lived to be 20, and as she got older,
>she became slightly more affectionate. She would at least come to
>me if I was upset, and be affectionate. She also responded to pretty
>songs by seeking affection in her later years. (Stuff with piano and
>acoustic guitare, pretty vocals, that sort of thing.)

This one is close to 2 1/2 now. Perhaps it will change when she gets
older. Although one of our past cats was *very* affectionate from day
one. She often would make a beeline for my lap when she came in the
room I was in. :-)

>
>>
>> I suppose if I want guaranteed adoration, I should get a dog. :0)
>
>I call my current cat a puppycat, because she dogs me, follows
>me everywhere, has to be touching me, or sits at my feet.

One of my mom's cats would follow her everywhere and loved for her to
hold him (he didn't have much interest in me). I called him a "wussy
mamma's boy". ;-)

>
>When I found her at the shelter, she leaned into my hand. She
>chose me.
>
>> On a related note, often times she will come into the room I'm in and
>> start meowing like she wants something. If I'm busy, I'll ignore her
>> for a bit till the tone changes and it sounds as if she's pleading or
>> crying.
>>
>> But when I get up and she takes off, she doesn't make it obvious as to
>> what she wants and since I don't speak "meow" I have no idea.
>>
>> She doesn't take you to her food bowl (which I'll still check anyway).
>> She doesn't lead you to a door (she's an indoor cat but she often
>> likes looking outside through the screen door).
>>
>> She's (surprisingly) not asking for affection (when she does, she runs
>> to her "spot" on an end table in the living room).
>>
>> I really feel bad about it at times. It's a somewhat helpless
>> feeling.
>>
>
>So, you don't know what she wants?

No. And sometimes I feel just awful. I get paranoid and wonder if I
should take her to the vet to see if there's some sort of health
problem.

But maybe she's fine health-wise and is just wants something and I
just can't figure it out.

dgk
February 17th 07, 10:09 PM
On Sat, 17 Feb 2007 19:38:58 GMT, Scott >
wrote:

>On Sat, 17 Feb 2007 14:17:25 -0500, "cybercat" >
>wrote:
>
>>
>>"Scott" > wrote
>>> What makes it more frustrating is she gives nothing back, affection
>>> wise.
>>>
>>> She exhibits loving behavior (she will roll over on her back in our
>>> presence, which I understand to be her way of saying "I love you"
>>> based on FAQS I've read) but she doesn't want to be in physical
>>> contact unless it's "by request" and it's her getting the attention.
>>
....

You just described a combination of my two cats (maybe about to be 3),
Nipsy and Espy. Nipsy is ok being petted and held, but often whines
like he wants something and I have no idea what it is. Epsy is smart
and a handful, but will not tolerate being touched or picked up. He
will almost never sit in my lap. But, once in a while he will climb
into my lap and my SO and I realize that we've been awarded a top
honor. Somehow the rareness of the event makes it all the more
special.

Let's face it. Cats are weird.

cybercat
February 17th 07, 10:29 PM
"Scott" > wrote
>>So, you don't know what she wants?
>
> No. And sometimes I feel just awful. I get paranoid and wonder if I
> should take her to the vet to see if there's some sort of health
> problem.

Know what? Your instincts might be right on. Our tuxedo cat howled
like that, and as it turns out her thyroid levels are sky high. She is on
medicine now and just fine, but untreated it can cause a stroke. It
also makes them hyperactive (kind of hypervigilant, jumpier than usual)
and irritable. But one of the chief symptoms is vocaliziing like that,
seemingly for no reason.

>
> But maybe she's fine health-wise and is just wants something and I
> just can't figure it out.

I think you should take her in. At my vet it costs $40-$50 to get
thyroid levels checked.

Nicolaas Hawkins
February 17th 07, 10:32 PM
On Sat, 17 Feb 2007 17:09:02 -0500, dgk >
wrote in >:

> On Sat, 17 Feb 2007 19:38:58 GMT, Scott >
> wrote:
>
>>On Sat, 17 Feb 2007 14:17:25 -0500, "cybercat" >
>>wrote:
>>
>>>
>>>"Scott" > wrote
>>>> What makes it more frustrating is she gives nothing back, affection
>>>> wise.
>>>>
>>>> She exhibits loving behavior (she will roll over on her back in our
>>>> presence, which I understand to be her way of saying "I love you"
>>>> based on FAQS I've read) but she doesn't want to be in physical
>>>> contact unless it's "by request" and it's her getting the attention.
>>>
> ...
>
> You just described a combination of my two cats (maybe about to be 3),
> Nipsy and Espy. Nipsy is ok being petted and held, but often whines
> like he wants something and I have no idea what it is. Epsy is smart
> and a handful, but will not tolerate being touched or picked up. He
> will almost never sit in my lap. But, once in a while he will climb
> into my lap and my SO and I realize that we've been awarded a top
> honor. Somehow the rareness of the event makes it all the more
> special.
>
> Let's face it. Cats are weird.

Thank your deity that they cannot talk, or your ears might change colour!

--
Regards,
Nicolaas.

2007 Pricelessware CD now available. 600Mb of the best of the best in
Freeware. E-Mail me for details.




.... Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.

William Graham
February 17th 07, 10:55 PM
"Scott" > wrote in message
...
> I've owned a number of cats over the years (but never more than two at
> once) and unlike the one we have now, they've all been the opposite of
> the stereotype.
>
> They've all been affectionate. They'd frequently curl up with you in
> bed or on the couch, or they'd sit in your lap.
>
> "Ellie" the cat we have now, does none of this. And if you try to hold
> her she is immediately resistant (so I obviously let her go).
>
> Our previous cat *loved* being held.
>
> I realize no two cats are the same, I guess we've just had luck in the
> past.
>
> The frustrating thing in this situation though is that she seems
> flat-out selfish.
>
> She expects affection (but gives nothing back) and she seems to want
> more and more of it every day.
>
> This one *loves* having her tummy rubbed and what was once a
> twice-a-day routine has now become a 4-5X a day routine.
>
> Well actually, it still remains twice a day, but she frequently nags
> for it throughout the day.
>
> I get rather tired of that, so I don't "cave to her demands". Twice a
> day is all I give her, period.
>
> What makes it more frustrating is she gives nothing back, affection
> wise.
>
> She exhibits loving behavior (she will roll over on her back in our
> presence, which I understand to be her way of saying "I love you"
> based on FAQS I've read) but she doesn't want to be in physical
> contact unless it's "by request" and it's her getting the attention.
>
> I suppose if I want guaranteed adoration, I should get a dog. :0)
>
> On a related note, often times she will come into the room I'm in and
> start meowing like she wants something. If I'm busy, I'll ignore her
> for a bit till the tone changes and it sounds as if she's pleading or
> crying.
>
> But when I get up and she takes off, she doesn't make it obvious as to
> what she wants and since I don't speak "meow" I have no idea.
>
> She doesn't take you to her food bowl (which I'll still check anyway).
> She doesn't lead you to a door (she's an indoor cat but she often
> likes looking outside through the screen door).
>
> She's (surprisingly) not asking for affection (when she does, she runs
> to her "spot" on an end table in the living room).
>
> I really feel bad about it at times. It's a somewhat helpless
> feeling.
>
> But I digress...

It's frequently hard to know what they want....We have one who likes to
sleep in the clothes dryer....She yowls and complains if my wife leaves it
closed by mistake. Another comes into the kitchen and mews when there is
lots of food available, because she wants a little milk....As soon as she
gets some fresh milk, she will stop complaining and go back to her usual
activity.... (sleeping)

William Graham
February 17th 07, 11:01 PM
"Nicolaas Hawkins" > wrote in message
...
> >
> Thank your deity that they cannot talk, or your ears might change colour!
>
They are said to have an extensive "vocabulary" of cat sounds that other
cats understand....I know that they can growl so quietly that only another
cat will hear them and run away. Maybe someday we will develop a microphone
and computer program that can tell us what sound they are making and what
they probably want or are saying........

Nicolaas Hawkins
February 18th 07, 12:32 AM
On Sat, 17 Feb 2007 15:01:23 -0800, William Graham >
wrote in >:

> "Nicolaas Hawkins" > wrote in message
> ...
>>>
>> Thank your deity that they cannot talk, or your ears might change colour!
>>
> They are said to have an extensive "vocabulary" of cat sounds that other
> cats understand....I know that they can growl so quietly that only another
> cat will hear them and run away. Maybe someday we will develop a microphone
> and computer program that can tell us what sound they are making and what
> they probably want or are saying........

Whilst I have often thought it would be interesting to know what they are
saying, greater sense has prevailed and I have come to the conclusion that
it is better for our own peace of mind that we not know, lest our personal
delusions of grandeur are forever shattered by the utterances of our
beloved fur-babies.

--
Regards,
Nicolaas.

2007 Pricelessware CD now available. 600Mb of the best of the best in
Freeware. E-Mail me for details.




.... Vole Light - All the flavour of voles, only half the calories, and
none of the fur, teeth, or claws to get stuck half-way down (or back up,
as the case may be).

Lynne
February 18th 07, 12:51 AM
on Sun, 18 Feb 2007 00:32:13 GMT, Nicolaas Hawkins >
wrote:

> Whilst I have often thought it would be interesting to know what they
> are saying, greater sense has prevailed and I have come to the
> conclusion that it is better for our own peace of mind that we not
> know, lest our personal delusions of grandeur are forever shattered by
> the utterances of our beloved fur-babies.

I completely agree.

--
Lynne

Spot
February 18th 07, 02:28 AM
You know I have an older male cat who was like this the first 7 years of his
life he wasn't much of a lap cat. And there was no way in hell you were
holding him. That changed about 3 years ago and now the second I sit down
he's on my lap.

Give it time.............she's a cat!!!!!!! They are funny that way.
Besides you are there to serve her didn't you know that?

Celeste

mlbriggs
February 18th 07, 05:49 AM
On Sat, 17 Feb 2007 19:06:43 +0000, Scott wrote:

> I've owned a number of cats over the years (but never more than two at
> once) and unlike the one we have now, they've all been the opposite of
> the stereotype.
>
> They've all been affectionate. They'd frequently curl up with you in
> bed or on the couch, or they'd sit in your lap.
>
> "Ellie" the cat we have now, does none of this. And if you try to hold
> her she is immediately resistant (so I obviously let her go).
>
> Our previous cat *loved* being held.
>
> I realize no two cats are the same, I guess we've just had luck in the
> past.
>
> The frustrating thing in this situation though is that she seems
> flat-out selfish.
>
> She expects affection (but gives nothing back) and she seems to want
> more and more of it every day.
>
> This one *loves* having her tummy rubbed and what was once a
> twice-a-day routine has now become a 4-5X a day routine.
>
> Well actually, it still remains twice a day, but she frequently nags
> for it throughout the day.
>
> I get rather tired of that, so I don't "cave to her demands". Twice a
> day is all I give her, period.
>
> What makes it more frustrating is she gives nothing back, affection
> wise.
>
> She exhibits loving behavior (she will roll over on her back in our
> presence, which I understand to be her way of saying "I love you"
> based on FAQS I've read) but she doesn't want to be in physical
> contact unless it's "by request" and it's her getting the attention.
>
> I suppose if I want guaranteed adoration, I should get a dog. :0)
>
> On a related note, often times she will come into the room I'm in and
> start meowing like she wants something. If I'm busy, I'll ignore her
> for a bit till the tone changes and it sounds as if she's pleading or
> crying.
>
> But when I get up and she takes off, she doesn't make it obvious as to
> what she wants and since I don't speak "meow" I have no idea.
>
> She doesn't take you to her food bowl (which I'll still check anyway).
> She doesn't lead you to a door (she's an indoor cat but she often
> likes looking outside through the screen door).
>
> She's (surprisingly) not asking for affection (when she does, she runs
> to her "spot" on an end table in the living room).
>
> I really feel bad about it at times. It's a somewhat helpless
> feeling.
>
> But I digress....


IMHO she just wants a little conversation. Cats also like routine. Do
you have a routine that you stray from? If so, she will probably remind
you what you should be doing.

William Graham
February 18th 07, 07:34 AM
"mlbriggs" > wrote in message
...
> On Sat, 17 Feb 2007 19:06:43 +0000, Scott wrote:
>
>> I've owned a number of cats over the years (but never more than two at
>> once) and unlike the one we have now, they've all been the opposite of
>> the stereotype.
>>
>> They've all been affectionate. They'd frequently curl up with you in
>> bed or on the couch, or they'd sit in your lap.
>>
>> "Ellie" the cat we have now, does none of this. And if you try to hold
>> her she is immediately resistant (so I obviously let her go).
>>
>> Our previous cat *loved* being held.
>>
>> I realize no two cats are the same, I guess we've just had luck in the
>> past.
>>
>> The frustrating thing in this situation though is that she seems
>> flat-out selfish.
>>
>> She expects affection (but gives nothing back) and she seems to want
>> more and more of it every day.
>>
>> This one *loves* having her tummy rubbed and what was once a
>> twice-a-day routine has now become a 4-5X a day routine.
>>
>> Well actually, it still remains twice a day, but she frequently nags
>> for it throughout the day.
>>
>> I get rather tired of that, so I don't "cave to her demands". Twice a
>> day is all I give her, period.
>>
>> What makes it more frustrating is she gives nothing back, affection
>> wise.
>>
>> She exhibits loving behavior (she will roll over on her back in our
>> presence, which I understand to be her way of saying "I love you"
>> based on FAQS I've read) but she doesn't want to be in physical
>> contact unless it's "by request" and it's her getting the attention.
>>
>> I suppose if I want guaranteed adoration, I should get a dog. :0)
>>
>> On a related note, often times she will come into the room I'm in and
>> start meowing like she wants something. If I'm busy, I'll ignore her
>> for a bit till the tone changes and it sounds as if she's pleading or
>> crying.
>>
>> But when I get up and she takes off, she doesn't make it obvious as to
>> what she wants and since I don't speak "meow" I have no idea.
>>
>> She doesn't take you to her food bowl (which I'll still check anyway).
>> She doesn't lead you to a door (she's an indoor cat but she often
>> likes looking outside through the screen door).
>>
>> She's (surprisingly) not asking for affection (when she does, she runs
>> to her "spot" on an end table in the living room).
>>
>> I really feel bad about it at times. It's a somewhat helpless
>> feeling.
>>
>> But I digress....
>
>
> IMHO she just wants a little conversation. Cats also like routine. Do
> you have a routine that you stray from? If so, she will probably remind
> you what you should be doing.
>
Yes. Cats are very conservative....They don't like anything to change,
because they are OK the way things are, and they fear that change will be
for the worst......Sometimes when our cats cry for no apparent reason it's
because they want a little milk, which is a treat for them. Sometimes it's
because the path to their favorite sleeping spot is blocked.....

Doug
February 22nd 07, 07:05 AM
I know some humans like that too ;^)

"William Graham" > wrote in message
...
>
> Yes. Cats are very conservative....They don't like anything to change,
> because they are OK the way things are, and they fear that change will be
> for the worst......Sometimes when our cats cry for no apparent reason it's
> because they want a little milk, which is a treat for them. Sometimes it's
> because the path to their favorite sleeping spot is blocked.....
>