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CindyBreninger
October 21st 07, 05:07 AM
Hi,
We have two cats and while one ignores us unless he wants attention,
the other freezes up. She is fine when it is just me and will play
and sit in my lap, but the second my kids come home, she hides. When
we find her, she goes limp and hides her head. The kids have never
hurt her, but she just seems to be afraid. We have had her a few
months and they love her so much, but wonder why she acts like this.
Cindy Breninger
www.adayinthelifeofcindy.blogspot.com

cybercat
October 21st 07, 07:18 AM
"CindyBreninger" > wrote in message
oups.com...
> Hi,
> We have two cats and while one ignores us unless he wants attention,
> the other freezes up. She is fine when it is just me and will play
> and sit in my lap, but the second my kids come home, she hides. When
> we find her, she goes limp and hides her head. The kids have never
> hurt her, but she just seems to be afraid. We have had her a few
> months and they love her so much, but wonder why she acts like this.
> Cindy Breninger
> www.adayinthelifeofcindy.blogspot.com
>

Give her some time and put some thought into making your place more friendly
to her. Stop hunting her down and let her come to you, for starters.

CindyBreninger
October 21st 07, 11:30 PM
On Oct 21, 9:00 am, "Matthew" > wrote:
> Sorry but it sounds like your kid are not as nice as you think. Sounds like
> the second kid has someway hurt, or abused the furball and is on going.
> You many not like to hear that but if it is true and it is the other kid
> some help hurting small animal is a sure sign of worse things to come.
>
> "CindyBreninger" > wrote in message
>
> oups.com...
>
>
>
> > Hi,
> > We have two cats and while one ignores us unless he wants attention,
> > the other freezes up. She is fine when it is just me and will play
> > and sit in my lap, but the second my kids come home, she hides. When
> > we find her, she goes limp and hides her head. The kids have never
> > hurt her, but she just seems to be afraid. We have had her a few
> > months and they love her so much, but wonder why she acts like this.
> > Cindy Breninger
> >www.adayinthelifeofcindy.blogspot.com- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

Wow, I have never HUNTED HER DOWN and no, my kids have never hurt her.
My son once rescued a moth because it had a broken wing. They even
have crickets as pets as they can't stand that people feed them to
other animals so he wants to save the crickets. Are you guys
serious??? She is just scared and was when we first got her. Jeeze, I
don't think I want to be on here after being called an animal abuser
or my kids. Do you people even have kids? To accuse someone of that
is pretty crappy. We don't hunt her down or hurt her and never have.
Wow. Personally it makes me sick you guys would accuse us of ever
hurting an animal. I came for advice on how to make her feel more
comfortable and now you think I hunt her down and the kids abuse her.
That is BS.
Cindy

cybercat
October 21st 07, 11:33 PM
"CindyBreninger" > wrote
> Wow, I have never HUNTED HER DOWN and no, my kids have never hurt her.
> My son once rescued a moth because it had a broken wing. They even
> have crickets as pets as they can't stand that people feed them to
> other animals so he wants to save the crickets. Are you guys
> serious??? She is just scared and was when we first got her. Jeeze, I
> don't think I want to be on here after being called an animal abuser
> or my kids. Do you people even have kids? To accuse someone of that
> is pretty crappy. We don't hunt her down or hurt her and never have.
> Wow. Personally it makes me sick you guys would accuse us of ever
> hurting an animal. I came for advice on how to make her feel more
> comfortable and now you think I hunt her down and the kids abuse her.
> That is BS.
> Cindy
>

Most of us have had kids and all of us have had cats. So I guess we're
just assholes.

Nevertheless, your cat is acting like she is less than comfortable with you
and there is a reason. You are not doing everything you can to put her
at ease, at the very least.

CindyBreninger
October 22nd 07, 01:13 AM
On Oct 21, 4:54 pm, "Matthew" > wrote:
> "CindyBreninger" >
> <snipped
>
>
>
> Sometimes the truth hurts deal with it. I also said if it is true and
> sounds like.The Op asked if you were sure.
>
> What you described is how I called it. If the shoes fits deal with the
> problems if not than it was a possibility. IT happens when children live in
> a home with animals. But Mommy and Daddy never want to believe it.
> DO we live in your house?.
> DO we know you personally?.
> DO we have a video or seen the cat do what you described.
>
> You posted your comments and from what I read I said what could be a
> problem. OPs asked the same thing about your kids.
>
> Lets see the second the kids come home she hides. Ok that happens with loud
> kids.
> .
> We find her she goes limp and hides her head. That means someone else is
> with you more in likely the kids. Sounds like a problem to me that is not a
> normal reaction for a cat .
>
> Since their is no voice behind the words. How do you think people who have
> done rescue work will take it what you wrote. Or are we supposed to be mind
> readers. You ask why the behavior was happening not how to help deal with
> it.
>
> Please don't let the doorknob hit you where the god lord split ya if you
> don't want opinions when you post.

I do want opinions, just not to be attacked and called an animal
abuser. If anything, I would never hurt an animal. We just got her
and I thought maybe something was wrong and I was worried about her.
You guys keep attacking me. I would never treat anyone as rudely as
you guys have treated me. She is a new cat, no one has hurt her. If
my kids did, they would get in a lot of trouble. They aren't really
loud as we live in an apartment and have neighbors so we try to be
respectful of them. They don't run or yell in the apartment, they go
outside to play. I would never be so rude to any of you if you were
asking my advice on how to help an animal. The cat was like that at
the place where we got her and I just wanted a few suggestions on how
to help her, not be attacked for asking for help. When we got her, it
was from a college dorm where there were several people and they said
she was the same way. Geeze, talk about making someone feel like crap
for asking for help. I won't make that mistake again. I am amazed.
If you own children or friends had the same question and wanted to
help their cat, would attack them the way you attacked me and call
them an animal abuser? It was unnecessary and rude. I don't know how
you feel, but that is very insulting and I would never hurt an animal.
I was just looking for a way to help a cat that I thought needed help.
I thought that was what this group was for-TO ASK CAT QUESTIONS AND
GET EDUCATED ANSWERS. I didn't know it was to be rude to those who
were seeking information. By the way, the cat is sitting on my
daughter's lap right now and is purring. Some days she does go limp,
but not all the time. She is happy and they are sitting on the couch
together. You don't know me or my kids so the truth does not hurt as
it is not the truth. Please don't reply if you are going to insult or
attack me. We are good people, we love our cats, and try to be nice to
people. I was just looking for a way to help her. Sorry I asked...

CindyBreninger
October 22nd 07, 01:21 AM
On Oct 21, 5:08 pm, Cheryl > wrote:
> On Sun 21 Oct 2007 07:54:08p, Matthew wrote in
> rec.pets.cats.health+behav
> >:
>
>
>
>
>
> > "CindyBreninger" >
> > <snipped
>
> > Sometimes the truth hurts deal with it. I also said if it is
> > true and sounds like.The Op asked if you were sure.
>
> > What you described is how I called it. If the shoes fits deal
> > with the problems if not than it was a possibility. IT happens
> > when children live in a home with animals. But Mommy and Daddy
> > never want to believe it.
> > DO we live in your house?.
> > DO we know you personally?.
> > DO we have a video or seen the cat do what you described.
>
> > You posted your comments and from what I read I said what could
> > be a
> > problem. OPs asked the same thing about your kids.
>
> > Lets see the second the kids come home she hides. Ok that
> > happens with loud
> > kids.
> > .
> > We find her she goes limp and hides her head. That means
> > someone else is with you more in likely the kids. Sounds like a
> > problem to me that is not a normal reaction for a cat .
>
> > Since their is no voice behind the words. How do you think
> > people who have done rescue work will take it what you wrote.
> > Or are we supposed to be mind readers. You ask why the behavior
> > was happening not how to help deal with it.
>
> > Please don't let the doorknob hit you where the god lord split
> > ya if you don't want opinions when you post.
>
> None of this was fair to Cindy. No, we don't have a crystal ball
> into her world, but seriously, some cats just don't like kids
> regardless of how they are treated. We don't know the ages of her
> kids. I think it is very unfair of you to immediately jump to the
> conclusion that her cat is abused and she should be worried about
> one of her kids growing up to abuse animals or worse.
>
> Cindy, some cats just don't like kids. Some cats bond to one
> person, and in your case this could be you.
>
> That said, how old are your kids? Are they supervised around the
> pets?
>
> --
> Cheryl- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

Thank you Cheryl. My daughter is 7 and my son is 9. They have always
loved animals and like I said, my son even rescued a moth! :) He
loves them. We also have a tortoise, a stick bug, and a hampster.
They are in school most of the day and when we come home, they do
homework, have dinner and then can play for a little bit. They are
nice kids. Thanks again! :) Cindy

Cheryl
October 22nd 07, 01:32 AM
On Sun 21 Oct 2007 08:21:56p, CindyBreninger wrote in
rec.pets.cats.health+behav
oups.com>:

> Thank you Cheryl. My daughter is 7 and my son is 9. They have
> always loved animals and like I said, my son even rescued a
> moth! :) He loves them. We also have a tortoise, a stick bug,
> and a hampster. They are in school most of the day and when we
> come home, they do homework, have dinner and then can play for a
> little bit. They are nice kids. Thanks again! :) Cindy

You might want to limit her time with them until she comes out of
her shell. You haven't had her long, and something in her history
could be causing red flags to be raised when kids are present. You
don't indicate her age, the age of the other cat (did you get them
both at the same time?) and if they were from a shelter or a
breeder or if they were raised together or just adopted/bought
together. More info please!

:))


--
Cheryl

CindyBreninger
October 22nd 07, 01:39 AM
On Oct 21, 5:32 pm, Cheryl > wrote:
> On Sun 21 Oct 2007 08:21:56p, CindyBreninger wrote in
> rec.pets.cats.health+behav
> oups.com>:
>
> > Thank you Cheryl. My daughter is 7 and my son is 9. They have
> > always loved animals and like I said, my son even rescued a
> > moth! :) He loves them. We also have a tortoise, a stick bug,
> > and a hampster. They are in school most of the day and when we
> > come home, they do homework, have dinner and then can play for a
> > little bit. They are nice kids. Thanks again! :) Cindy
>
> You might want to limit her time with them until she comes out of
> her shell. You haven't had her long, and something in her history
> could be causing red flags to be raised when kids are present. You
> don't indicate her age, the age of the other cat (did you get them
> both at the same time?) and if they were from a shelter or a
> breeder or if they were raised together or just adopted/bought
> together. More info please!
>
> :))
>
> --
> Cheryl

The cats are a brother and sister, two years old. They lived in a
college dorm and who knows what could have happened. They are indoor
cats and litterbox trained. They are mellow and nice cats, just
scared. They always have been. I was just wondering if anyone had
ideas on how to make them feel more comfortable. Should I buy cat
treats? Get them a new cat house? Right now they sleep with the kids
at night and the boy cat crawls up with my son and the girl with my
daughter. At night, they both purr and seem happy. Somehow they both
end up on my bed in the morning. But, during the day, they will hide
and the girl cat acts scared. Other times, she is fine. It is weird.

Cheryl
October 22nd 07, 01:52 AM
On Sun 21 Oct 2007 08:39:28p, CindyBreninger wrote in
rec.pets.cats.health+behav
oups.com>:

> The cats are a brother and sister, two years old. They lived in
> a college dorm and who knows what could have happened. They are
> indoor cats and litterbox trained. They are mellow and nice
> cats, just scared. They always have been. I was just wondering
> if anyone had ideas on how to make them feel more comfortable.
> Should I buy cat treats? Get them a new cat house? Right now
> they sleep with the kids at night and the boy cat crawls up with
> my son and the girl with my daughter. At night, they both purr
> and seem happy. Somehow they both end up on my bed in the
> morning. But, during the day, they will hide and the girl cat
> acts scared. Other times, she is fine. It is weird.

Not wierd at all! :) I have a former feral and she is as scared
as can be. Most of the time. Been here 4 years, but she came from
the outside and had to fend for herself before coming here. To
this day, I can't pick her up. She seeks out affection on her own
terms, but probably will never be a lap cat. She freaks out when
two hands come toward her, but is fine when its just one. She
sleeps on my bed, but is hesitant to jump on the couch to sit next
to me. She will sit at my feet and allow my feet to pet her more
than allow my hands to pet her.

Cats are quirky. They both obviously trust your kids if they will
sleep with them. Maybe encourage them to sit on the floor and play
gently with cat toys with them? Like the toys with feathers on
sticks. The cats are young, so they'd probably love to chase
feathers. I'd encourage the kids to stay low, offer some treats
(if the cats are not overweight) and maybe teach a game of fetch.
Yes, cats can learn fetch games! After some time, I'd imagine
that both cats will be more comfortable with the kids, though
don't expect it to happen overnight. And be prepared for setbacks.
But it sounds like they will be fine.

--
Cheryl

CindyBreninger
October 22nd 07, 02:02 AM
On Oct 21, 5:52 pm, Cheryl > wrote:
> On Sun 21 Oct 2007 08:39:28p, CindyBreninger wrote in
> rec.pets.cats.health+behav
> oups.com>:
>
> > The cats are a brother and sister, two years old. They lived in
> > a college dorm and who knows what could have happened. They are
> > indoor cats and litterbox trained. They are mellow and nice
> > cats, just scared. They always have been. I was just wondering
> > if anyone had ideas on how to make them feel more comfortable.
> > Should I buy cat treats? Get them a new cat house? Right now
> > they sleep with the kids at night and the boy cat crawls up with
> > my son and the girl with my daughter. At night, they both purr
> > and seem happy. Somehow they both end up on my bed in the
> > morning. But, during the day, they will hide and the girl cat
> > acts scared. Other times, she is fine. It is weird.
>
> Not wierd at all! :) I have a former feral and she is as scared
> as can be. Most of the time. Been here 4 years, but she came from
> the outside and had to fend for herself before coming here. To
> this day, I can't pick her up. She seeks out affection on her own
> terms, but probably will never be a lap cat. She freaks out when
> two hands come toward her, but is fine when its just one. She
> sleeps on my bed, but is hesitant to jump on the couch to sit next
> to me. She will sit at my feet and allow my feet to pet her more
> than allow my hands to pet her.
>
> Cats are quirky. They both obviously trust your kids if they will
> sleep with them. Maybe encourage them to sit on the floor and play
> gently with cat toys with them? Like the toys with feathers on
> sticks. The cats are young, so they'd probably love to chase
> feathers. I'd encourage the kids to stay low, offer some treats
> (if the cats are not overweight) and maybe teach a game of fetch.
> Yes, cats can learn fetch games! After some time, I'd imagine
> that both cats will be more comfortable with the kids, though
> don't expect it to happen overnight. And be prepared for setbacks.
> But it sounds like they will be fine.
>
> --
> Cheryl

Thanks! I think somehow I started off on the wrong foot here. This is
a good group and very interesting...do over? hehe Ok, that's what my
kids say when we just want to start over. I think it might apply
here. :)

CindyBreninger
October 22nd 07, 02:18 AM
On Oct 21, 6:15 pm, Cheryl > wrote:
> On Sun 21 Oct 2007 09:02:36p, CindyBreninger wrote in
> rec.pets.cats.health+behav
> oups.com>:
>
> > Thanks! I think somehow I started off on the wrong foot here.
> > This is a good group and very interesting...do over? hehe Ok,
> > that's what my kids say when we just want to start over. I
> > think it might apply here. :)
>
> Do overs are good! :) Best of luck with your kitties. They're
> lucky to have you. I don't think many in your position would take
> much notice, or even try to fix it. I read some of your blog.
>
> --
> Cheryl

I hope you liked it! :)

CindyBreninger
October 22nd 07, 05:05 AM
On Oct 21, 8:55 pm, Galloping Clippers > wrote:
> CindyBreninger wrote:
> > On Oct 21, 9:00 am, "Matthew" > wrote:
>
> >>Sorry but it sounds like your kid are not as nice as you think. Sounds like
> >>the second kid has someway hurt, or abused the furball and is on going.
> >>You many not like to hear that but if it is true and it is the other kid
> >>some help hurting small animal is a sure sign of worse things to come.
>
> >>"CindyBreninger" > wrote in message
>
> oups.com...
>
> >>>Hi,
> >>>We have two cats and while one ignores us unless he wants attention,
> >>>the other freezes up. She is fine when it is just me and will play
> >>>and sit in my lap, but the second my kids come home, she hides. When
> >>>we find her, she goes limp and hides her head. The kids have never
> >>>hurt her, but she just seems to be afraid. We have had her a few
> >>>months and they love her so much, but wonder why she acts like this.
> >>>Cindy Breninger
> >>>www.adayinthelifeofcindy.blogspot.com-Hide quoted text -
>
> >>- Show quoted text -
>
> > Wow, I have never HUNTED HER DOWN and no, my kids have never hurt her.
> > My son once rescued a moth because it had a broken wing. They even
> > have crickets as pets as they can't stand that people feed them to
> > other animals so he wants to save the crickets. Are you guys
> > serious??? She is just scared and was when we first got her. Jeeze, I
> > don't think I want to be on here after being called an animal abuser
> > or my kids. Do you people even have kids? To accuse someone of that
> > is pretty crappy. We don't hunt her down or hurt her and never have.
> > Wow. Personally it makes me sick you guys would accuse us of ever
> > hurting an animal. I came for advice on how to make her feel more
> > comfortable and now you think I hunt her down and the kids abuse her.
> > That is BS.
> > Cindy
>
> You came here for advice, not reassurement. We don;t know anything
> about you or your kids. In most cases like you describe, something has
> been done to make the cat shy away.- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

Yes, I did come for advice, but was not given advice, just assumptions
or accusations...you can read the past posts. But, things turned
around and I was given some suggestions and advice. :) I don't know
what happened to the cats before they came to live with us and no way
to contact the people, I can only hope to give them a good life.
Anyway, I will keep you guys updated and see if things change. They
really are nice cats and we love them a lot. My daughter even named
hers Daisy May Roses Princess PIggy. (She loves pigs so that is a
compliment) We call her Daisy May for short. She said her cat was so
cute it needed more than one name for all its cuteness!
Cindy

CatNipped[_2_]
October 22nd 07, 03:58 PM
"CindyBreninger" > wrote in message
oups.com...
> Hi,
> We have two cats and while one ignores us unless he wants attention,
> the other freezes up. She is fine when it is just me and will play
> and sit in my lap, but the second my kids come home, she hides. When
> we find her, she goes limp and hides her head. The kids have never
> hurt her, but she just seems to be afraid. We have had her a few
> months and they love her so much, but wonder why she acts like this.
> Cindy Breninger
> www.adayinthelifeofcindy.blogspot.com
>

Neither reaction is unusual. How long have you had the cats? Cats usually
need a slow, careful introduction - and even then some cats never "warm up"
to people. I have a *gorgeous* pure white, long-haired cat that we rescued
when she was 6 weeks old. We know she has never been abused or even spoken
to loudly (there's just me and my husband in our household and we both love
cats). She is now 9 years old, and she *still* runs and hides whenever we
go near her.

We have 5 cats altogether. Demi, described above; Jessie, a *very*
independent, sassy short-hair tortoiseshell girl cat who hangs on my husband
constantly and follows him from room to room like a puppy; Sammy, a gorgeous
Maine Coon-like long-hair girl cat, who is friendly and stays in whatever
room I'm in, but doesn't like to be picked up; and two orange-stripey boy
cats, 5 months old, who are the terror of our household.

All that to say that every cat is different, and the only "constant" thing
about cats is that no two are ever alike personality-wise.

My advice would be to take it slowly, ask your children not to stare
directly at the cats (they take that as a "challenge" and will be frightened
away), sit in the same room without focusing on the cats and speak softly.
Entice them with treats and toys. And most of all, just be patient.

Hugs,

CatNipped

supercat
October 22nd 07, 10:26 PM
Hi Cindy,
One quick line.
If one is having a problem integrating....... go out of your way to
IGNORE it.
Put its food down etc as normal, but dont pressure it.
This way I have quickly gained a strong bond with older (10+) cats.
They will wonder why you aren't paying them
attention and want to get near to you basically to find out what YOU
are about. Then the love can blossom.
If they are getting a little TOO much attention (from people they dont
FULLY trust) it un-nerves them.
Ignore the other people with the hate.
Life is too short to worry about those sort.
Tim.

CindyBreninger
October 23rd 07, 12:44 AM
On Oct 22, 2:26 pm, supercat > wrote:
> Hi Cindy,
> One quick line.
> If one is having a problem integrating....... go out of your way to
> IGNORE it.
> Put its food down etc as normal, but dont pressure it.
> This way I have quickly gained a strong bond with older (10+) cats.
> They will wonder why you aren't paying them
> attention and want to get near to you basically to find out what YOU
> are about. Then the love can blossom.
> If they are getting a little TOO much attention (from people they dont
> FULLY trust) it un-nerves them.
> Ignore the other people with the hate.
> Life is too short to worry about those sort.
> Tim.

Hi, I will try that. It is just strange as during the day, they act
weird, but when we go to bed, they climb up into bed with the kids and
they are fine. Funny little cats. :)
Cindy

November 7th 07, 10:28 AM
Hi! I'm involved in rescue work and also capturing, spaying /
neutering feral cats. I also have two 5 month old fearful kittens
that I just adopted.
I can tell you that I've seen adopted fearful / feral cats that will
go completely limp sometimes for no known reason. Cats are like
people, they can have all of the quirks that people do. One of my
kittens becomes completely terriifed of me after I exercise....as
scaried as a cat can get....hissing, urinating, freezing, howling,
curling up in a ball kind of scared. However, once I take a shower
she's fine, doesn't like the smell of me or something.

In a nutshell, going limp doesn't mean abuse has happened, however it
is on the checklist for possible causes. This could just be a quirk
in your cat's behavior.


On Oct 22, 3:44 pm, CindyBreninger > wrote:
> On Oct 22, 2:26 pm, supercat > wrote:
>
> > Hi Cindy,
> > One quick line.
> > If one is having a problem integrating....... go out of your way to
> > IGNORE it.
> > Put its food down etc as normal, but dont pressure it.
> > This way I have quickly gained a strong bond with older (10+) cats.
> > They will wonder why you aren't paying them
> > attention and want to get near to you basically to find out what YOU
> > are about. Then the love can blossom.
> > If they are getting a little TOO much attention (from people they dont
> > FULLY trust) it un-nerves them.
> > Ignore the other people with the hate.
> > Life is too short to worry about those sort.
> > Tim.
>
> Hi, I will try that. It is just strange as during the day, they act
> weird, but when we go to bed, they climb up into bed with the kids and
> they are fine. Funny little cats. :)
> Cindy

honeybunch
November 7th 07, 03:19 PM
On Nov 7, 4:28 am, wrote:
> Hi! I'm involved in rescue work and also capturing, spaying /
> neutering feral cats. I also have two 5 month old fearful kittens
> that I just adopted.
> I can tell you that I've seen adopted fearful / feral cats that will
> go completely limp sometimes for no known reason. Cats are like
> people, they can have all of the quirks that people do. One of my
> kittens becomes completely terriifed of me after I exercise....as
> scaried as a cat can get....hissing, urinating, freezing, howling,
> curling up in a ball kind of scared. However, once I take a shower
> she's fine, doesn't like the smell of me or something.
>
> In a nutshell, going limp doesn't mean abuse has happened, however it
> is on the checklist for possible causes. This could just be a quirk
> in your cat's behavior.
>
> On Oct 22, 3:44 pm, CindyBreninger > wrote:
>
> > On Oct 22, 2:26 pm, supercat > wrote:
>
> > > Hi Cindy,
> > > One quick line.
> > > If one is having a problem integrating....... go out of your way to
> > > IGNORE it.
> > > Put its food down etc as normal, but dont pressure it.
> > > This way I have quickly gained a strong bond with older (10+) cats.
> > > They will wonder why you aren't paying them
> > > attention and want to get near to you basically to find out what YOU
> > > are about. Then the love can blossom.
> > > If they are getting a little TOO much attention (from people they dont
> > > FULLY trust) it un-nerves them.
> > > Ignore the other people with the hate.
> > > Life is too short to worry about those sort.
> > > Tim.
>
> > Hi, I will try that. It is just strange as during the day, they act
> > weird, but when we go to bed, they climb up into bed with the kids and
> > they are fine. Funny little cats. :)
> > Cindy


Oh my, just let cats be cats is all I can say here. Your cats are
healthy and not doing anything destructive. Cats all have their own
personalities. If they are sleeping with you and the kids, they can't
be really afraid of you. It think it takes about a year for a cat to
really feel at home. I have a nice friend with a cat that absolutely
flees from visitors to her apartment. For no reason. So dont worry
so much.