View Full Version : some funnies

December 13th 07, 02:35 AM
since I see some jokes have been posted plus I only seem to ask for
help thought It'd be nice if I did something different

yeah some are corny but I laughed and I don't do that much these days
they're from Prairie Home Companion

This man is walking by an insane asylum and he hears the inmates
inside chanting inside "Thirteen, thirteen, thirteen..." He is so
fascinated that he walks up to the door and puts his eye up the
keyhole and somebody pokes him in the eye with a sharp stick and the
inmates start changing "Fourteen, fourteen, fourteen..."

I woke up this morning and I felt so bad that I tried to kill myself
by taking a thousand aspirin. But after the first two, I felt better

What do you get if you cross a Jehovah's Witness and a Unitarian: Some
one who goes around knocking on doors but isn't sure why.

So these two penguins are standing on an iceberg. One penguin says to
the other: You look like you're wearing a tuxedo. The other penguin
replies: Who says I'm not?

A blonde wanted to buy personalized license plates but she couldn't
afford them. So she changed her name to JKM345.

What's the nicest thing about a nudist wedding?
You don't have to ask - you can see who the best man is.

What should you do if your boyfriend starts smoking?
Slow down

Hillary Clinton finds out from her doctor that she's pregnant. She is
furious. Here she's in her first term as Senator of New York and she
calls home, gets Bill on the starts screaming. "How could you have let
this happen? You go and get me pregnant! How could you? It is all your
fault!!!" she screams. And Bill says, "Who is this?"

What were George W. Bush's three hardest years? Second

I got an A in philosophy last semester by proving that my professor
doesn't exist.

Copy-editing is a very stressful line of work. Every time one of us
misses a period, we get really nervous.


Why does an archeologist make a good husband? Because the older you
get, the more interested he is in you.

"Hey. Nice earring. How long have you been wearing an earring?" "Ever
since my wife found it in the car."

My wife came home the other night and told me to take off her blouse.
Then she told me to take off her skirt. Then she told me never to wear
her clothes again.

Did you hear about the exhibitionist who was going to retire?
He changed his mind, and decided to stick it out for one more year.

A man walked out of the bar and got in his car and a policeman came
over and said, "Sir, your eyes seem to be bloodshot. Have you been
drinking?" The man looked at the police officer and replied, "Officer,
your eyes seem to be glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?"

December 13th 07, 02:25 PM
Response to ensoul >:


<whispers "Cat jokes.">

(Needless to say I smiled at more than one. Thanks.)

Remove the extra words to reply by e-mail. Don't e-mail me. I am
kidding. No I am not.