PDA

View Full Version : The stigma of owning a cat.


David McCracken
December 20th 07, 04:46 PM
Hi everyone:

I haven't posted in this forum in a long while, but have always found it
full of great people with much knowledge and love for cats. So I
immediately thought of this newsgroup when I wanted to share this
perspective about cat ownership.

One of my two 10-year-old cats suddenly became ill over the last weekend and
she's been in the hospital for the last few days. The vet says her immune
system is attacking her red blood cells and platelets, so they've put her on
steroids and IV fluids. They've stabilized her enough that I'm about to
pick her up in about a half hour. She stopped eating once she got to the
vet, so their hope is that she'll start back up once she returns home and
gets back to her routine. Otherwise, she may be returning to the vet and
spending the holidays there.

What I really want to discuss is what I've had to endure over the past few
days with friends and co-workers as I deal with my pet's health crisis. I
suppose I could be imagining much of this, so bear with me. My general
impression is that most dog people or non-pet owners don't seem to
understand the need to, for example, stay home from work babysitting a sick
cat. I get the feeling as though cat ownership is less valid of an excuse
to be at home vs. a sick child or even a sick dog.

Jokes typically come up when I discuss how much I've already spent on my cat
(about $700 this week). Someone had commented that they're not even sure
they'd spend that much on their own child, let alone a cat. I realize they
were just ribbing me about it, but you know what they say about there always
being a shred of truth behind every joke. On some base level, I think they
were actually being sincere. I should point out that these are otherwise
good co-workers with whom I get along fine.

I'm wondering first if this is just my imagination...if other cat owners out
there have felt the sting of this stigma. Perhaps people just have a hard
time linking a 6 foot, 2-inch, 235-pound male to two little kitties instead
of, say, a Doberman. ;)

Would appreciate any thoughts or experiences.

Thanks again and happy holidays.

bookie
December 20th 07, 05:44 PM
On Dec 20, 4:46 pm, "David McCracken" >
wrote:
> Hi everyone:
>
> I haven't posted in this forum in a long while, but have always found it
> full of great people with much knowledge and love for cats. So I
> immediately thought of this newsgroup when I wanted to share this
> perspective about cat ownership.
>
> One of my two 10-year-old cats suddenly became ill over the last weekend and
> she's been in the hospital for the last few days. The vet says her immune
> system is attacking her red blood cells and platelets, so they've put her on
> steroids and IV fluids. They've stabilized her enough that I'm about to
> pick her up in about a half hour. She stopped eating once she got to the
> vet, so their hope is that she'll start back up once she returns home and
> gets back to her routine. Otherwise, she may be returning to the vet and
> spending the holidays there.
>
> What I really want to discuss is what I've had to endure over the past few
> days with friends and co-workers as I deal with my pet's health crisis. I
> suppose I could be imagining much of this, so bear with me. My general
> impression is that most dog people or non-pet owners don't seem to
> understand the need to, for example, stay home from work babysitting a sick
> cat. I get the feeling as though cat ownership is less valid of an excuse
> to be at home vs. a sick child or even a sick dog.
>
> Jokes typically come up when I discuss how much I've already spent on my cat
> (about $700 this week). Someone had commented that they're not even sure
> they'd spend that much on their own child, let alone a cat. I realize they
> were just ribbing me about it, but you know what they say about there always
> being a shred of truth behind every joke. On some base level, I think they
> were actually being sincere. I should point out that these are otherwise
> good co-workers with whom I get along fine.
>
> I'm wondering first if this is just my imagination...if other cat owners out
> there have felt the sting of this stigma. Perhaps people just have a hard
> time linking a 6 foot, 2-inch, 235-pound male to two little kitties instead
> of, say, a Doberman. ;)
>
> Would appreciate any thoughts or experiences.
>
> Thanks again and happy holidays.

unfortunately i have had to endure simliar, as have a couple of my
friends.
When i was working as a teacher I had to take my old cat at the time
(jasper, bless him) into the vets sometime between 8 and 8.30am at
their main surgery in the next town. for most people this would not be
an issue as they woudl just roll in to work a little bit later but
obviously with teachign and schools everything works to a strict
timetable and the kids have to be supervised at all times and if you
are gong to be late you have get your missed lessons covered and have
a damn good excuse for doing so (for example , you have just died or
something). Anyway i asked if someone could cover my morning
registration period for my tutor group which woudl start at 8.35 am
until 8.55am as i could not guarantee that with all the rush hour
traffic around at that time that i would be in school in time. when i
asked the assistant head for this he looked at me as though i had just
landed from mars or something, and repeated "you want someone to cover
your morning registration whilst you take your cat to the vet!!!!! are
you having a laugh??!!!", and i had to point out that the cat could
not very well take itself to the vets so i had to do it and i had to
drop him off in that particular window of time. Basically i was made
to feel as though i was aksing the earth of them and when i got back
to school by 9am after much stressfull rushing about and going through
red lights to get there, i was really made to feel as though i had
really 'let the side down' by a number of people for just not being
there for some poxy 20 minute registration time (which for the
uninitiated is just when you call the register and read out notices to
your class, no actual teaching occurs).

What made me more annoyed was that for the next 3 days of that week
another woman in my dept took the rest of the week off whilst we had
to cover her lessons for her, and why? cos her snotty nosed kid had a
cold and so of course she has to stay at home tolook after him. when i
raised an objection i was told 'it is a sick child and you could not
possibly understand'. remember that the woman herself was not ill,
just her smelly kid.


it happens time and again, and it ****es me off, how else was jasper
supposed to get the vets in time to be sedated for his op and dental?
he had to be there as early as possible. how dare they give me grief
over that, but the *******s did.

another time, i had a phone call form my dad tellign me that he had
jusy had to take tegan (childhood cat, my chocolate tortie princess,
had her since she was a kitten) to the vet as she had thrown up blood
and that they had found a massive tumour in her stomach and they were
advising to have her put to sleep the next day. Well that was a no
brainer for me, i just rang up the school and told them that i would
not be in the next day because I had a sick cat and was going to take
it to the vet to be put to sleep, i was not going to ASK for
permission to take the day off, i was goin to TELL themn that was what
i was going to do, SOD 'EM!!!!! i had to take the day off anyway cos i
had to drive down to my dad's place and then on to the vet's and I
wanted to spend some time with tegan to say goodbye and even if they
had done it in the mornign there was NO WAY i woudl have gone back
into school to deal with all those nasty little hooligans in there
inthe state i knew i would be in, i woudl be a wreck. if it had been a
human family member then noone woudl have said anythign and i woudl
have probably been allowed the week off or something, but with a cat,
who to me and my dad and brother was as much a part of our family as
anyone else and who we had had around for 17 years, is often
considered nothing to get worked up about, apparantly. If i had asked
for the day off to go and say goodbye they woudl have said 'no', which
is why i just told them that i was going to take it, no argument.

in the end I am glad i did because tegan got a stay of execution and
when i went into the vets she perked up and i persuaded them to let
her live for a bit longer (ok we did string it out too long inthe end
but she did not need to be put down that day, her quality of life was
ok at the time). yes i got some vicious comments the next day but
quite frankly they can **** off, and i took great pleasure in tellign
them how much more valuable a creature and individual little Tegan was
compared to some of the lowlifes i had to work with and teach in that
school and that i woud have no qualms in doing the same again, and
that she had contributed much more love to the world around her than
some of th destructive humans i had ever encountered in my life.

I pains me to say it but you really are not alone, i have encountered
such arseholes myself, but now i just ignore them cos they are all
******s basically and have their priorities all wrong. these are the
people who say that cats are aloof and unfriendly, well they obviously
have not spent any time in the company of a cat as they woudln't come
out with that crap if they had.
i could call my cats many things (mad, deranged, bonkers, greedy,
dopey, loving, insane, playful, adoring) but never aloof.

keep your chin up mate, we are here for you and we do understand what
you are goin g through

purrs to your poor little mistress, hope she gets better soon
bookie

December 20th 07, 09:55 PM
I know that feeling, though I know some people who take the care of
their cats a bit too far.

My mom and I used to run a pet-sitting business and were on good terms
with a kitty named "wilbur" who we had sat for a few times. Early in
my collge years my mom called me out of the blue and told me that he
had died. I started crying just as if a family member had died and my
roommate was confused to why I was expending so much effort over a
cat.

On the other hand, however, one can get so wrapped up in a cat that
you lose sight of its better health trying to keep it alive. My
parents have a kitty who is most likely completely deaf and is going
blind and shes probably 16 years old by now. Though there isn't
anything severely wrong with her health, she spends most of the night
yowling for someone because she can't hear anything and I think that
the cat has actually gone crazy in her old age. I can't tell my
parents but they really should put the poor kitty to sleep instead of
going to the vet and dumping money on her over an over. I love the
cat, but.. enough is enough.

Mara
December 20th 07, 11:43 PM
On Thu, 20 Dec 2007 11:46:56 -0500, "David McCracken"
> wrote:

<unlurk>

<snip>
>I'm wondering first if this is just my imagination...if other cat owners out
>there have felt the sting of this stigma. Perhaps people just have a hard
>time linking a 6 foot, 2-inch, 235-pound male to two little kitties instead
>of, say, a Doberman. ;)
>
>Would appreciate any thoughts or experiences.

No, it isn't just your imagination. I have 7 cats and get it all the time. The
eldest two are 10 years old, too. My own father, who had dogs all the time he
was growing up and at 80 still talks about them, used to tell me I should take
them out and shoot them whenever I had to take one to the vet. And no, he wasn't
kidding.

I lost my littlest one Sunday evening. If he knew about it, he'd laugh. To me,
that indicates something wrong with *him*, not me. I get it from lots of people
at work, too. So, sadly, you're not alone.

<relurk>

>Thanks again and happy holidays.
>
>

--
In Memoriam
For Roz, Oct. 1, 2007 - 12/16/07
"Rise slowly, angel - it's hard to let you go."

mlbriggs
December 21st 07, 01:25 AM
On Thu, 20 Dec 2007 17:43:28 -0600, Mara wrote:

> On Thu, 20 Dec 2007 11:46:56 -0500, "David McCracken"
> > wrote:
>
> <unlurk>
>
> <snip>
>>I'm wondering first if this is just my imagination...if other cat owners
>>out there have felt the sting of this stigma. Perhaps people just have a
>>hard time linking a 6 foot, 2-inch, 235-pound male to two little kitties
>>instead of, say, a Doberman. ;)
>>
>>Would appreciate any thoughts or experiences.
>
> No, it isn't just your imagination. I have 7 cats and get it all the time.
> The eldest two are 10 years old, too. My own father, who had dogs all the
> time he was growing up and at 80 still talks about them, used to tell me I
> should take them out and shoot them whenever I had to take one to the vet.
> And no, he wasn't kidding.
>
> I lost my littlest one Sunday evening. If he knew about it, he'd laugh. To
> me, that indicates something wrong with *him*, not me. I get it from lots
> of people at work, too. So, sadly, you're not alone.
>
> <relurk>
>
>>Thanks again and happy holidays.
>>
>>"....Rise up slowly, Angel. It's hard to let you go..."
MLB

jmc
December 21st 07, 06:58 AM
Suddenly, without warning, David McCracken exclaimed (12/21/2007 2:16 AM):
> Hi everyone:
>
> I haven't posted in this forum in a long while, but have always found it
> full of great people with much knowledge and love for cats. So I
> immediately thought of this newsgroup when I wanted to share this
> perspective about cat ownership.
>
> I'm wondering first if this is just my imagination...if other cat owners out
> there have felt the sting of this stigma. Perhaps people just have a hard
> time linking a 6 foot, 2-inch, 235-pound male to two little kitties instead
> of, say, a Doberman. ;)
>
> Would appreciate any thoughts or experiences.
>
> Thanks again and happy holidays.
>
>
>

Not just cats. I got a lot of grief from one of my bosses because I had
to leave work to deal with a colicky horse.

Fortunately, the people I work with now are very understanding, many of
them are "furkids only" families, so they understand the importance of a
pet when there's no kids in the house.

jmc

blkcatgal
December 21st 07, 04:16 PM
I make a point of discussing my pets, etc. only with co-workers and friends
that I know would understand. Two years ago, when my cat became very ill
and I had to have him put to sleep, I think there was only one person at
work that I could really confide in. Sure, others would have been
sympathetic, but I don't think they would truly understand how painful that
time was for me.

Sue

"David McCracken" > wrote in message
...
> Hi everyone:
>
> I haven't posted in this forum in a long while, but have always found it
> full of great people with much knowledge and love for cats. So I
> immediately thought of this newsgroup when I wanted to share this
> perspective about cat ownership.
>
> One of my two 10-year-old cats suddenly became ill over the last weekend
> and she's been in the hospital for the last few days. The vet says her
> immune system is attacking her red blood cells and platelets, so they've
> put her on steroids and IV fluids. They've stabilized her enough that I'm
> about to pick her up in about a half hour. She stopped eating once she
> got to the vet, so their hope is that she'll start back up once she
> returns home and gets back to her routine. Otherwise, she may be
> returning to the vet and spending the holidays there.
>
> What I really want to discuss is what I've had to endure over the past few
> days with friends and co-workers as I deal with my pet's health crisis. I
> suppose I could be imagining much of this, so bear with me. My general
> impression is that most dog people or non-pet owners don't seem to
> understand the need to, for example, stay home from work babysitting a
> sick cat. I get the feeling as though cat ownership is less valid of an
> excuse to be at home vs. a sick child or even a sick dog.
>
> Jokes typically come up when I discuss how much I've already spent on my
> cat (about $700 this week). Someone had commented that they're not even
> sure they'd spend that much on their own child, let alone a cat. I
> realize they were just ribbing me about it, but you know what they say
> about there always being a shred of truth behind every joke. On some base
> level, I think they were actually being sincere. I should point out that
> these are otherwise good co-workers with whom I get along fine.
>
> I'm wondering first if this is just my imagination...if other cat owners
> out there have felt the sting of this stigma. Perhaps people just have a
> hard time linking a 6 foot, 2-inch, 235-pound male to two little kitties
> instead of, say, a Doberman. ;)
>
> Would appreciate any thoughts or experiences.
>
> Thanks again and happy holidays.
>
>
>

Paul M. Cook
December 21st 07, 07:05 PM
> I'm wondering first if this is just my imagination...if other cat owners
out
> there have felt the sting of this stigma. Perhaps people just have a hard
> time linking a 6 foot, 2-inch, 235-pound male to two little kitties
instead
> of, say, a Doberman. ;)
>
> Would appreciate any thoughts or experiences.

You aren't imagining it. It's a social stereotype.

I'm a 6 foot 1 inch 280 pound man with a Grizzly Adams beard and size 13EE
shoes who some say would look more at home on a Harley than in my poofy
little Jag. I'm a big, hulking SOB as some have called me and damn it I am
supposed to have a big hulking dog as a pet. Men "like us" have Bull
Mastiffs or German Shepherds or huge Labrador retrievers. Cats are - well -
sissy.

And I have lost 2 cats in 2 months and I will be damned if I am telling
anybody but a couple of friends and my immediate family.

That is because I went though what you are going through when I had a sick
cat back in 2000. He was dying of cancer and before that we had a crisis
with a huge tumor near his heart. All I am going to say is that I am glad I
am a man of peace or some very obnoxious *******s would not be around now.
The comments I got ranged from rude, to cruel to knowingly abusive and
antagonizing. My ordeal brought out a side of people that we all know is
there but are nonetheless shocked to see first hand.

To all of them I say screw 'em, They aren't worth the dynamite it would
take to blow them to hell.

Sorry for the coarse talk, but your post hit home. And yes, us big guys
have hearts too and just because we are not some cute little kid or a woman
or a "non threatening male" doesn't mean we don't have love and compassion
for animals and feel a huge sense of loss when they die. I like dogs but I
love cats. Simple as that.

The prejudices people harbor are a product of permanent adolescence. Our
society does not require anyone to grow up anymore, preferring a state of
permanent childhood to over being an adult and along with that comes the
same crap you'd expect from an adolescent.. People react they do not think.
And they will judge you and they will ostracize you for putting your cats
needs first. I lost a job over a sick cat once because my boss and fellow
employees were aghast that I took time off to care for my cat. They needed
a "team player" as they said. But I would do it again and to hell with what
people think.

Paul

David McCracken
December 22nd 07, 03:52 AM
"Paul M. Cook" > wrote in message
news:[email protected]

> You aren't imagining it. It's a social stereotype.
>
> I'm a 6 foot 1 inch 280 pound man with a Grizzly Adams beard and size 13EE
> shoes who some say would look more at home on a Harley than in my poofy
> little Jag. I'm a big, hulking SOB as some have called me and damn it I
> am
> supposed to have a big hulking dog as a pet. Men "like us" have Bull
> Mastiffs or German Shepherds or huge Labrador retrievers. Cats are -
> well -
> sissy.
>
> And I have lost 2 cats in 2 months and I will be damned if I am telling
> anybody but a couple of friends and my immediate family.
>
> That is because I went though what you are going through when I had a sick
> cat back in 2000. He was dying of cancer and before that we had a crisis
> with a huge tumor near his heart. All I am going to say is that I am glad
> I
> am a man of peace or some very obnoxious *******s would not be around now.
> The comments I got ranged from rude, to cruel to knowingly abusive and
> antagonizing. My ordeal brought out a side of people that we all know is
> there but are nonetheless shocked to see first hand.
>
> To all of them I say screw 'em, They aren't worth the dynamite it would
> take to blow them to hell.
>
> Sorry for the coarse talk, but your post hit home. And yes, us big guys
> have hearts too and just because we are not some cute little kid or a
> woman
> or a "non threatening male" doesn't mean we don't have love and compassion
> for animals and feel a huge sense of loss when they die. I like dogs but
> I
> love cats. Simple as that.
>
> The prejudices people harbor are a product of permanent adolescence. Our
> society does not require anyone to grow up anymore, preferring a state of
> permanent childhood to over being an adult and along with that comes the
> same crap you'd expect from an adolescent.. People react they do not
> think.
> And they will judge you and they will ostracize you for putting your cats
> needs first. I lost a job over a sick cat once because my boss and fellow
> employees were aghast that I took time off to care for my cat. They
> needed
> a "team player" as they said. But I would do it again and to hell with
> what
> people think.
>
> Paul
>
>

Hi Paul:

Thank you so much for this. Your comments are exactly the shot in the arm I
needed, as were all the replies so far. Your thoughts particularly mirror
my own and I appreciate it. I'm glad we're all not alone in this.

Lesley
December 22nd 07, 06:12 PM
On 20 Dec, 08:46, "David McCracken" >
wrote:
> Hi everyone:
>
> I haven't posted in this forum in a long while, but have always found it
> full of great people with much knowledge and love for cats. *So I
> immediately thought of this newsgroup when I wanted to share this
> perspective about cat ownership.
>
>
You are far from alone when we had to have Fugazi put to sleep I had
to go to work the next day but my then boss, a slave himself couldn't
have been nicer- he sent me home early, covered me when I needed to go
and cry, placed the phone at my disposal should I wish to call home
and check on Dave and my other cat and repeatedly told me that if we
weren't short staffed he wouldn't have expected me to come in and he
would have told the management it was "compassionate leave"

He got a fair bit of stick when the managers found out through..One of
them said to "How old was she?" (I think he was trying to be nice) and
I said she was twelve, (as if it made a difference) his reply was "Is
that old for one of them?" As I say I guess he was trying to be nice
because he then followed it up with "I really don't know anything
about cats"

His boss was all for putting my boss and me on a disciplinary over it
since he didn't regard being upset over "a mere cat" (his words) just
cause to expect me to do less work for one day and get away with it
(as he saw it). Fortunately we were both very good at our jobs and
each made it perfectly clear we would walk out in support of the other
so he let the matter drop

the all-time winner through is my mother, when I told her Isis had
died she shrugged and said "I suppose you get fond of the things"

Lesley

Slave of the Fabulous Furballs

cybercat
December 22nd 07, 07:10 PM
"Lesley" > wrote
>the all-time winner through is my mother, when I told her Isis had
>died she shrugged and said "I suppose you get fond of the things"


OMG

22brix
December 22nd 07, 10:35 PM
"Lesley" > wrote in message
news:88679488-7c22-43d2-a23f-the all-time winner through is my mother, when
I told her Isis had
died she shrugged and said "I suppose you get fond of the things"

Lesley

Reminds me of my mother-in-law; when she found out one of mine had to be put
to sleep she said "Good--you have too many!" Needless to say, this did not
particularly endear her to me!

Bonnie

cybercat
December 23rd 07, 12:18 AM
"22brix" > wrote in message
...
>
> "Lesley" > wrote in message
> news:88679488-7c22-43d2-a23f-the all-time winner through is my mother,
> when I told her Isis had
> died she shrugged and said "I suppose you get fond of the things"
>
> Lesley
>
> Reminds me of my mother-in-law; when she found out one of mine had to be
> put to sleep she said "Good--you have too many!" Needless to say, this
> did not particularly endear her to me!
>
Jesus.

Sheelagh>\o\
December 23rd 07, 04:41 PM
On Dec 22, 7:10*pm, "cybercat" > wrote:
> "Lesley" > wrote
>
> >the all-time winner through is my mother, when I told her Isis had
> >died she shrugged and said "I suppose you get fond of the things"
>
> OMG

People who don't have cat's of their own, simply *Do not wish to
understand*, over here. It is a terrible shame, but it is the truth.

Sheelagh>"o"<

cybercat
December 23rd 07, 04:58 PM
"Sheelagh>"o"<" > wrote in message
...
On Dec 22, 7:10 pm, "cybercat" > wrote:
> "Lesley" > wrote
>
> >the all-time winner through is my mother, when I told her Isis had
> >died she shrugged and said "I suppose you get fond of the things"
>
> OMG

>People who don't have cat's of their own, simply *Do not wish to
>understand*, over here. It is a terrible shame, but it is the >truth.

Yes, and unfortunately some people who DO have cats don't see them as
members of the family. I feel sorry for those who cannot appreciate them for
what they are.

Phil P.
December 24th 07, 11:44 AM
"cindys" > wrote in message
...
> To me, one of the most touching sights in the world is being in the
> supermarket and seeing a man buying cat food.

I think a lot of women must feel the same way because I've met more women in
pet stores than anywhere else. I just don't have the time to do anything
about it. lol

The first thing I look for in a woman is cat hair on her clothes!

Happy Holidays,

Phil

"Cats are a great warm-up to a successful marriage;

they teach you your place in the household".

--Paul Gallico

Phil P.
December 24th 07, 11:56 AM
"David McCracken" > wrote in message
...
>
> I'm wondering first if this is just my imagination...if other cat owners
out
> there have felt the sting of this stigma. Perhaps people just have a hard
> time linking a 6 foot, 2-inch, 235-pound male to two little kitties
instead
> of, say, a Doberman. ;)
>
> Would appreciate any thoughts or experiences.
>
> Thanks again and happy holidays.

I think this will make you feel better:


"Confessions of a Cat Guy.

Authors: Kollus, Brad

Source: Cats Magazine; Dec99, Vol. 55 Issue 12, p66, 1p, 1c

CONFESSIONS OF A CAT GUY Am I crazy?

I'm a very eligible, professional, straight male in his early 30s who loves
cats. What's wrong

with that? You'd think my caring, sensitive and nurturing nature would be an
instant chick

magnet. But no, it's not considered "manly," I'm told.

Just because I love my two kids (er, kitties), Scotty and Spanky, buy Cats
magazine and wear

a silver cat ring, I get tagged as "weird." So what if I'm constantly
tripping over catnip mice or

that I've taught my cats how to play tetherball? Who cares if my cats have
health insurance or

that I have a cat shrine (complete with cat candies) or that I carry
miniature portraits of my

kitties in my wallet? After all, the guy next to me is showing
off--woo-hoo!--yet another

drooling baby picture. I think it's a testament to my sympathetic side that
I have a cat license

plate, own the Franklin Mint's Egyptian Cat Goddess Bast Statute, brush my
cats' teeth and

have an extensive library of cat books. Does this all make me odd?

Don't answer.

If I went to golf shows, bought Golf Digest, spent every weekend golfing,
had hundreds of

dollars in golf accessories, a golf book library and a membership to a
country club, would I be

weird? I think so. But it would be socially acceptable and that's just not
right.

I've tried to meet the right woman. I placed a personal ad in the paper and
included that I like

cats. I made a date with a veterinarian who owned two cats. C'mon, this had
to work. But she'd

had four years of vet school and I had to correct her all the time. She
didn't even brush her

cats' teeth. I had no choice but to stop seeing her.

Then there was Shelter Girl. She worked at the local animal shelter, owned
nine cats, had her

own pet-sitting business and worked part-time at a pet store. Paradise, I
thought. We'd grow

old together, she and me and our cats. We'd volunteer at the shelter and
hold hands while

scooping cat litter--two cat-lovers in love. But alas, she broke it off. "I
don't have time for a

man," she said. Her cats took it all up.

On another date, I tried to impress a woman by telling her how I had taught
my cats to play

tetherball and that we were invited to appear on the Late Show with David
Letterman.

(Unfortunately, I had to turn that offer down since my cats were too
neurotic to perform in

public.) "It's so cute that you taught your cats to play baseball," she said
politely

EBSCOhost
http://web.ebscohost.com/ehost/delivery?vid=20&hid=15&sid=820cd52...

"Baseball!" I bellowed. "Cats playing baseball? That's absurd. Ever seen a
cat hold a bat? No

honey, my cats play tetherball." She never returned my calls.

Then, I met Kate. rd finally met the right woman. I spent our time together
feeling as though I

was floating on the ceiling. I perused jewelry shop windows. Then one night
after watching

Shakespeare in Love, she ripped out my still-beating heart. She just (ouch!)
wanted to be

friends.

After months of agonizing, I bumped into her. I swore nothing she could say
would shake me.

"By the way, Brad," she said, "I'm allergic to cats." I felt salt pouring
afresh into my wounds.

Sometimes I think I should give up my loves to be "normal." Then Scotty
crawls on my chest

and Spanky on my lap and I realize it's not an option. There's nothing wrong
with a guy who

loves cats. Maybe there's something wrong with a world that devalues such a
relationship. I'm

not crazy I'm not.

OK, maybe t am. But just a little.

There's nothing wrong with a guy who loves his cats.

~~~~~~~~

By Brad Kollus

Brad Kollus lives in Columbus, Ohio. Matchmakers may send letters to Brad
care of Cats magazine."



Happy Holidays,

Phil

"I have found my love of cats most helpful

in understanding women'

--John Simon

PawsForThought
December 24th 07, 02:43 PM
When I lost my last cat, my employer could not understand why I was so
upset. In his favor, he did send flowers though and let me take time
off from work. But he still didn't and to this day doesn't understand
my feelings. Then another person at work started wtih "so are you
getting a new cat now?"

I live on a dirt road and in the spring and summer months, it gets
quite dusty. I have a cat with asthma. I have to call the city for
them to come spray the road, otherwise, they hardly do it. So when I
call I always tell them my "daughter's" asthma has been very bad, can
they please come spray the road. Now when I call they recognize me
and say "oh, you're the lady with the asthmatic daughter." (I know
the city wouldn't care if I said I had an asthmatic cat.)

As to men and cats, I find a man who loves cats to be much sexier and
more of a man than men who don't like cats. My husband is extremely
manly when he lets our cat Mickey nurse on his beard :)

Lesley
December 24th 07, 03:43 PM
On 23 Dec, 08:41, "Sheelagh>\"o\"<" > wrote:

> People who don't have cat's of their own, simply *Do not wish to
> understand*, over here. It is a terrible shame, but it is the truth.
>

I had completely forgotten the worse one
(probably because it's a painful memory)...I used to play in a game on
a Wednesday and one week I turned up and had the following
conversation with the DM;

DM "I don't know if I should let you play- you missed the last two
weeks"

Me "The week before last I told you I had to work late"

DM "Yes that's okay but what's your excuse for last week?"

Me: "I had to take one of my cats to the vet"

DM "And what time was that?"

Me: "Six thirty"

DM "So you could have still made the game we don't start until 8.00"

Me: (voice quavering) "But I had to have her put to sleep, we were
both very upset"

DM "Okay I'll let you back in the game but under probation, I don't
know if you're really that dedicated to the game, I wouldn't have let
something as trivial as a dead cat make me miss a game"

I am forever grateful to a friend and his dear wife who simply took
one of my shoulders each turned me round and walked me away from the
guy or else I would be typing from prison. I've never seen red like it
before or since. This charming speciment went pale when he saw my face
after he said that and then to add insult to injury he went round
telling people I was "mental". That, however rebounded when he told
this other guy whose game he really wanted to be in that "She went
mental over a dead cat" and got the reply that when he had his cat put
to sleep he couldn't face the World for a week and stayed at home so
"she's really good to come out and she certainly doesn't need a moron
like you slagging her off"

Lesley

Slave of the Fabulous Furballs

bookie
December 24th 07, 03:47 PM
On Dec 24, 11:56*am, "Phil P." > wrote:
> "David McCracken" > wrote in message
>
> ...
>
>
>
> > I'm wondering first if this is just my imagination...if other cat owners
> out
> > there have felt the sting of this stigma. *Perhaps people just have a hard
> > time linking a 6 foot, 2-inch, 235-pound male to two little kitties
> instead
> > of, say, a Doberman. ;)
>
> > Would appreciate any thoughts or experiences.
>
> > Thanks again and happy holidays.
>
> I think this will make you feel better:
>
> "Confessions of a Cat Guy.
>
> Authors: Kollus, Brad
>
> Source: Cats Magazine; Dec99, Vol. 55 Issue 12, p66, 1p, 1c
>
> CONFESSIONS OF A CAT GUY Am I crazy?
>
> I'm a very eligible, professional, straight male in his early 30s who loves
> cats. What's wrong
>
> with that? You'd think my caring, sensitive and nurturing nature would be an
> instant chick
>
> magnet. But no, it's not considered "manly," I'm told.
>
> Just because I love my two kids (er, kitties), Scotty and Spanky, buy Cats
> magazine and wear
>
> a silver cat ring, I get tagged as "weird." So what if I'm constantly
> tripping over catnip mice or
>
> that I've taught my cats how to play tetherball? Who cares if my cats have
> health insurance or
>
> that I have a cat shrine (complete with cat candies) or that I carry
> miniature portraits of my
>
> kitties in my wallet? After all, the guy next to me is showing
> off--woo-hoo!--yet another
>
> drooling baby picture. I think it's a testament to my sympathetic side that
> I have a cat license
>
> plate, own the Franklin Mint's Egyptian Cat Goddess Bast Statute, brush my
> cats' teeth and
>
> have an extensive library of cat books. Does this all make me odd?
>
> Don't answer.
>
> If I went to golf shows, bought Golf Digest, spent every weekend golfing,
> had hundreds of
>
> dollars in golf accessories, a golf book library and a membership to a
> country club, would I be
>
> weird? I think so. But it would be socially acceptable and that's just not
> right.
>
> I've tried to meet the right woman. I placed a personal ad in the paper and
> included that I like
>
> cats. I made a date with a veterinarian who owned two cats. C'mon, this had
> to work. But she'd
>
> had four years of vet school and I had to correct her all the time. She
> didn't even brush her
>
> cats' teeth. I had no choice but to stop seeing her.
>
> Then there was Shelter Girl. She worked at the local animal shelter, owned
> nine cats, had her
>
> own pet-sitting business and worked part-time at a pet store. Paradise, I
> thought. We'd grow
>
> old together, she and me and our cats. We'd volunteer at the shelter and
> hold hands while
>
> scooping cat litter--two cat-lovers in love. But alas, she broke it off. "I
> don't have time for a
>
> man," she said. Her cats took it all up.
>
> On another date, I tried to impress a woman by telling her how I had taught
> my cats to play
>
> tetherball and that we were invited to appear on the Late Show with David
> Letterman.
>
> (Unfortunately, I had to turn that offer down since my cats were too
> neurotic to perform in
>
> public.) "It's so cute that you taught your cats to play baseball," she said
> politely
>
> EBSCOhosthttp://web.ebscohost.com/ehost/delivery?vid=20&hid=15&sid=820cd52...
>
> "Baseball!" I bellowed. "Cats playing baseball? That's absurd. Ever seen a
> cat hold a bat? No
>
> honey, my cats play tetherball." She never returned my calls.
>
> Then, I met Kate. rd finally met the right woman. I spent our time together
> feeling as though I
>
> was floating on the ceiling. I perused jewelry shop windows. Then one night
> after watching
>
> Shakespeare in Love, she ripped out my still-beating heart. She just (ouch!)
> wanted to be
>
> friends.
>
> After months of agonizing, I bumped into her. I swore nothing she could say
> would shake me.
>
> "By the way, Brad," she said, "I'm allergic to cats." I felt salt pouring
> afresh into my wounds.
>
> Sometimes I think I should give up my loves to be "normal." Then Scotty
> crawls on my chest
>
> and Spanky on my lap and I realize it's not an option. There's nothing wrong
> with a guy who
>
> loves cats. Maybe there's something wrong with a world that devalues such a
> relationship. I'm
>
> not crazy I'm not.
>
> OK, maybe t am. But just a little.
>
> There's nothing wrong with a guy who loves his cats.
>
> ~~~~~~~~
>
> By Brad Kollus
>
> Brad Kollus lives in Columbus, Ohio. Matchmakers may send letters to Brad
> care of Cats magazine."
>
> Happy Holidays,
>
> Phil
>
> "I have found my love of cats most helpful
>
> * * * * * * *in understanding women'
>
> * * * * * * * * * * * *--John Simon

where can i find this man? what's his number? he is the man for
me!!!!!

unless he is really ugly or fat of course

i have to say those men who think that taking a baby out to the park
or something is going to attract women are completely wrong; any
single girl will just assume that you are already taken (hence the
kid, it is probably yours and you are only taking it out cos you have)
and give you a very wide berth. You want to walk a dog or something,
doesn't show that you are already burdened with kids and a woman, but
you are (a) a caring animal lover and (b) may be single

obviously if one could walk a cat inthe park that would be better, but
that is tricky.

anyway, al those people who claim they are allergic to cats YOU ARE
TALKING ********, no such thing as far as i am concerned, just get
over it wahtever it is, my dad's cat used to make my eyes itch and
water a lot but i got over it and so should you. it is just a sad
excuse used by horrible people who are not in touch with their feline
side and anyone who claims that they are allergic to cats should be
avoided at all costs

and phil, my clothes are covered in cat hair

bookie

Lesley
December 24th 07, 07:15 PM
On 24 Dec, 07:47, bookie > wrote:

> anyway, al those people who claim they are allergic to cats YOU ARE
> TALKING ********,

Not strictly true a friend of mine nearly died because cat hair gave
her asthma so badly she stopped breathing luckily in the ambulance

However making eyes stream and sting is not in the same league- a guy
I know was allergic to cat dander but his fiancee was a cat lover so
he took anithistamines and said "The cost of loving her is I have to
get used to cats"

Now they have 7 and his allergies are a lot better through he still
has to keep them out of the bedroom

Lesley

Slave of the Fabulous Furballs

bookie
December 24th 07, 10:07 PM
On Dec 24, 3:43*pm, Lesley > wrote:
> On 23 Dec, 08:41, "Sheelagh>\"o\"<" > wrote:
>
> > People who don't have cat's of their own, simply *Do not wish to
> > understand*, over here. It is a terrible shame, but it is the truth.
>
> I had completely forgotten the worse one
> (probably because it's a painful memory)...I used to play in a game on
> a Wednesday and one week I turned up and had the following
> conversation with the DM;
>
> DM "I don't know if I should let you play- you missed the last two
> weeks"
>
> Me "The week before last I told you I had to work late"
>
> DM "Yes that's okay but what's your excuse for last week?"
>
> Me: "I had to take one of my cats to the vet"
>
> DM "And what time was that?"
>
> Me: "Six thirty"
>
> DM "So you could have still made the game we don't start until 8.00"
>
> Me: (voice quavering) "But I had to have her put to sleep, we were
> both very upset"
>
> DM "Okay I'll let you back in the game but under probation, I don't
> know if you're really that dedicated to the game, I wouldn't have let
> something as trivial as a dead cat make me miss a game"
>
> I am forever grateful to a friend and his dear wife who simply took
> one of my shoulders each turned me round and walked me away from the
> guy or else I would be typing from prison. I've never seen red like it
> before or since. This charming speciment went pale when he saw my face
> after he said that and then to add insult to injury he went round
> telling people I was "mental". That, however rebounded when he told
> this other guy whose game he really wanted to be in that "She went
> mental over a dead cat" and got the reply that when he had his cat put
> to sleep he couldn't face the World for a week and stayed at home so
> "she's really good to come out and she certainly doesn't need a moron
> like you slagging her off"
>
> Lesley
>
> Slave of the Fabulous Furballs

what a complete **** that chap was, what 'game' do you mean?

i woudl have given him the full force of my wrath with both barrels,
nasty little turd

hopefully he got just what he deserved later on in life, that is
exactly the kind of nasty thoughtless and vicious comment that i think
we have all been subjected to at some point or other and just goes to
show how pointless most of the human race really is and why cats are
so much better company

that bloke would not be walking if he had said that to me.

grrrr...
bookie

bookie
December 24th 07, 10:19 PM
On Dec 24, 7:15*pm, Lesley > wrote:
> On 24 Dec, 07:47, bookie > wrote:
>
> > anyway, al those people who claim they are allergic to cats YOU ARE
> > TALKING ********,
>
> Not strictly true a friend of mine nearly died because cat hair gave
> her asthma so badly she stopped breathing luckily in the ambulance
>
> However making eyes stream and sting is not in the same league- a guy
> I know was allergic to cat dander but his fiancee was a cat lover so
> he took anithistamines and said "The cost of loving her is I have to
> get used to cats"
>
> Now they have 7 and his allergies are a lot better through he still
> has to keep them out of the bedroom
>
> Lesley
>
> Slave of the Fabulous Furballs

'allergies' are caused by proteins in the cats saliva which set off
one's immune system to overreact, thinking that the invading alien
proteins are somehow harmfull and thus the usual symptoms of running
eyes, itching, sneezing etc are triggered off. asthma is something
else entirely and would not be sorted by antihistamines. i do applaud
your friend who took them though, after a while he may have got used
to the proteins and his immune system might have calmed down, is he
stil taking the medication? might find he does not need it anymore.

anyway, reason i am soooo peeved by people and their alleged allergies
is that i am looking for a new home and whenever i mention to
potential housemates that i would want to bring my cats to live there
too (well obviously i am going nowhere without them, unthinkable!)
some precious a-hole comes out with "oh but i am allergic!!!" which is
really starting to **** me off something chronic. the instances of cat
allergy amongst tenants in shared houses is unbelievably high, so high
that i do not believe them, and usually comes after sillly questions
like "but won't she chase off all the birds from the garden?" or "but
won't she pee everywhere?" or "but she will bite us won't
she?" (jessie has no teeth!!!!) or any other questions designed to
produce an answer which will lead them to say "ooooh no then we can't
let you bring a cat with you".

i'm all worked up now i have to go and cuddle a cat, it's just not
fair with it being christmas now and all that

bookie

Lesley
December 25th 07, 04:50 PM
On 24 Dec, 14:07, bookie > wrote:
>
> what a complete **** that chap was, what 'game' do you mean?
>
The game was Advanced Dungeons and Dragons- you do sometimes get
pillocks with no social skills playing them then again in my current
club our commitee of four can boast six cats between three of us (and
the other one's allergic to cats!). Our chairman Hugh, recently found
a kitten in the middle of the road at midnight and took her home
swearing he couldn't afford another cat, he lasted a few hours before
it went to "If she's not claimed I'll probably keep her", then about
24 hours after he found her "She's called Bandit" then within 48 hours
his flatmate had changed from "We can't have another cat" to "I
suppose you're going to keep her and I can live with that"

That was about 7 weeks ago, guess where a kitten called Bandit lives
now?

Lesley

Slave of the Fabulous Furballs

Lesley
December 25th 07, 05:06 PM
On 24 Dec, 14:19, bookie > wrote:
or any other questions designed to
> produce an answer which will lead them to say "ooooh no then we can't
> let you bring a cat with you".


If they don't want a cat all they have to do when you phone to ask
about the flat is politely say something like "No pets sorry" they can
even dress it up as "the landlord won't allow it"
I always think people who say "I don;t like cats" have either not yet
met the right cat (happened to a friend of mine who said "They're okay
but not for me"- I think because his ex-wife was mad about cats and
he's got a lot of bad memories about that time. Then one day he was
sitting in his living room and a cat walked in, looked round and
settled down-just like that and now he's looking for a new place to
live and can't move into somewhere that won't take Fuzzbutt....) or
there is just something wrong with their personality I feel sorry for
them obviously they will never settle down for a night's sleep and
have a warm purring bundle of joy snuggled next to them or find
themselves laughing at something the cat just did and is currently
giving the "I meant to do that" look (which makes it even funnier) or
just staring in amazement at how something that small can jump that
far or well....everyone here can fill in their special moments when
they realise how extra wonderful their cats are to them

Okay these people will never clean litter trays or wipe up after a
furball (I've actually heard that as an excuse for not having a cat
from a woman with two children- sorry? You could change a nappy but
it's beyond you to grab a bit of kitchen towel and wipe up a furball?
I can't stand human's being sick, I nearly join in but all I think
when a cat throws up is "Are you okay?")

Mind you the strangest reason I have heard for not liking cats has now
been told to me by three ladies from the West Indies so perhaps it's a
cultural thing and that is that cats are creatures of Satan and you
can tell because "At night you can see Satan shining out from their
eyes"

I tried explaining why a cats eye shines in the dark but they wouldn;t
have it all I got was a story from one of them about her cousin who
was about to go for a drive and a cat walked across his path and they
all said, he shouldn't make the journey because the "devil cat" has
cursed him and he laughed and drove off....and ,of course, there was a
terrible accident they found his brain 6 feet from the car...I think
she's quoting an urban legend but she insisted it happened to a cousin
of hers

Lesley

Slave of the Fabulous Furballs

birdsong
December 27th 07, 05:15 PM
Hi there,

So sorry to hear what you are going through.

I had a similar experience with friends in college after the loss of a
pet. After seeing how many people did not understand my tears that day
when I explained I lost a pet, I decided from that moment on that
anyone who didn't "get it" was then told, "I'm sorry, I lost a dear
friend today." They understood. I never had to tell them the species
of my friend.

Perhaps you can do the same...a friend or family member is in the
hospital. Anyone who hans't loved a cat will never quite "get it." For
those of us who have, we can't see it any other way but that it is a
true friend and family member.

Hope your cat will be okay. You must be so worried.

Donna in CT

IBen Getiner[_2_]
December 30th 07, 09:24 AM
On Dec 20, 11:46�am, "David McCracken"
> wrote:
> Hi everyone:
>
> I haven't posted in this forum in a long while, but have always found it
> full of great people with much knowledge and love for cats. �So I
> immediately thought of this newsgroup when I wanted to share this
> perspective about cat ownership.
>
> One of my two 10-year-old cats suddenly became ill over the last weekend and
> she's been in the hospital for the last few days. �The vet says her immune
> system is attacking her red blood cells and platelets, so they've put her on
> steroids and IV fluids. �They've stabilized her enough that I'm about to
> pick her up in about a half hour. �She stopped eating once she got to the
> vet, so their hope is that she'll start back up once she returns home and
> gets back to her routine. �Otherwise, she may be returning to the vet and
> spending the holidays there.
>
> What I really want to discuss is what I've had to endure over the past few
> days with friends and co-workers as I deal with my pet's health crisis. �I
> suppose I could be imagining much of this, so bear with me. �My general
> impression is that most dog people or non-pet owners don't seem to
> understand the need to, for example, stay home from work babysitting a sick
> cat. �I get the feeling as though cat ownership is less valid of an excuse
> to be at home vs. a sick child or even a sick dog.
>
> Jokes typically come up when I discuss how much I've already spent on my cat
> (about $700 this week). �Someone had commented that they're not even sure
> they'd spend that much on their own child, let alone a cat. �I realize they
> were just ribbing me about it, but you know what they say about there always
> being a shred of truth behind every joke. �On some base level, I think they
> were actually being sincere. �I should point out that these are otherwise
> good co-workers with whom I get along fine.
>
> I'm wondering first if this is just my imagination...if other cat owners out
> there have felt the sting of this stigma. �Perhaps people just have a hard
> time linking a 6 foot, 2-inch, 235-pound male to two little kitties instead
> of, say, a Doberman. ;)
>
> Would appreciate any thoughts or experiences.
>
> Thanks again and happy holidays.

YOU are a NUT. What 'men' like you need MORE THAN ANYTHING is to be
thrust up to the front lines over in Iraq, with a gun in your hand and
a target painted on your chest. Or better yet, they should do it to
your CHILD (assuming you're not a queer, which something tells
me....)This would REALLY help put things into their proper
perspectives! All this BULLKRAP about 'staying homes with the sick
baby' bullkrap.
Bullkrap.

IBen Getiner[_2_]
December 30th 07, 09:26 AM
On Dec 20, 11:46�am, "David McCracken"
> wrote:
> Hi everyone:
>
> I haven't posted in this forum in a long while,


Your record shows NEVER

http://groups.google.com/groups/profile?enc_user=M2Ko3R4AAAAWDpBLqRntuiIpneYsgb80z CEIiRdHGZMCIHZ5OvvJcg

T
December 30th 07, 03:40 PM
In article <9132a1a4-9a26-403f-a5aa-fe9f7cf64433
@n20g2000hsh.googlegroups.com>, says...
> On Dec 20, 11:46=3Fam, "David McCracken"
> > wrote:
> > Hi everyone:
> >
> > I haven't posted in this forum in a long while,
>
>
> Your record shows NEVER
>
> http://groups.google.com/groups/profile?enc_user=M2Ko3R4AAAAWDpBLqRntuiIpneYsgb80z CEIiRdHGZMCIHZ5OvvJcg
>

Got to love Google as rap sheet.

Sheelagh>\o\
December 30th 07, 06:14 PM
On Dec 30, 9:24*am, IBen Getiner > wrote:
> On Dec 20, 11:46�am, "David McCracken"
>
>
>
>
>
> > wrote:
> > Hi everyone:
>
> > I haven't posted in this forum in a long while, but have always found it
> > full of great people with much knowledge and love for cats. �So I
> > immediately thought of this newsgroup when I wanted to share this
> > perspective about cat ownership.
>
> > One of my two 10-year-old cats suddenly became ill over the last weekend and
> > she's been in the hospital for the last few days. �The vet says her immune
> > system is attacking her red blood cells and platelets, so they've put her on
> > steroids and IV fluids. �They've stabilized her enough that I'm about to
> > pick her up in about a half hour. �She stopped eating once she got to the
> > vet, so their hope is that she'll start back up once she returns home and
> > gets back to her routine. �Otherwise, she may be returning to the vet and
> > spending the holidays there.
>
> > What I really want to discuss is what I've had to endure over the past few
> > days with friends and co-workers as I deal with my pet's health crisis. �I
> > suppose I could be imagining much of this, so bear with me. �My general
> > impression is that most dog people or non-pet owners don't seem to
> > understand the need to, for example, stay home from work babysitting a sick
> > cat. �I get the feeling as though cat ownership is less valid of an excuse
> > to be at home vs. a sick child or even a sick dog.
>
> > Jokes typically come up when I discuss how much I've already spent on my cat
> > (about $700 this week). �Someone had commented that they're not even sure
> > they'd spend that much on their own child, let alone a cat. �I realize they
> > were just ribbing me about it, but you know what they say about there always
> > being a shred of truth behind every joke. �On some base level, I think they
> > were actually being sincere. �I should point out that these are otherwise
> > good co-workers with whom I get along fine.
>
> > I'm wondering first if this is just my imagination...if other cat owners out
> > there have felt the sting of this stigma. �Perhaps people just have a hard
> > time linking a 6 foot, 2-inch, 235-pound male to two little kitties instead
> > of, say, a Doberman. ;)
>
> > Would appreciate any thoughts or experiences.
>
> > Thanks again and happy holidays.

<Snipped so others don't have to tolerate you>


Big words with little action.
Nothing, would please me more than seeing you lead by example......

Sheelagh>"o"<

December 31st 07, 10:21 AM
Hi David~~I know just want you are going through, but first, how is
your little one? Any better? Is he eating now?
I actually changed jobs at one point because the chiropractor that I
worked for told me..."from now on tell your cats to die on a
Thursday.." Thursdays are customary days for chiropractors offices to
be closed. This family of chiropractors was in the business of
'healing' but had no compassion for anything past thier checkbooks!
I work for the school system now and fortunately have sick and
personnal days but I have always felt the stigma of being a cat owner
and still feel compelled to white lie about my time off. Of course,
if I was at work, I could not keep my mind on my job knowing I had a
sick one at home.
Even parents of human children fell compelled to lie when it comes to
saying home with their sick kids. Or worse, they can't stand being
home with them, so they send them to school or day care just to be rid
of them for the day, they get sicker, spread their nasty germs and
create an epidemic! I'll take my cats, anyday!
Thanks for opening the subject line and hope all is well!
Happy New Year...Lorraine, Toms River, NJ


On Dec 20, 11:46*am, "David McCracken"
> wrote:
> Hi everyone:
>
> I haven't posted in this forum in a long while, but have always found it
> full of great people with much knowledge and love for cats. *So I
> immediately thought of this newsgroup when I wanted to share this
> perspective about cat ownership.
>
> One of my two 10-year-old cats suddenly became ill over the last weekend and
> she's been in the hospital for the last few days. *The vet says her immune
> system is attacking her red blood cells and platelets, so they've put her on
> steroids and IV fluids. *They've stabilized her enough that I'm about to
> pick her up in about a half hour. *She stopped eating once she got to the
> vet, so their hope is that she'll start back up once she returns home and
> gets back to her routine. *Otherwise, she may be returning to the vet and
> spending the holidays there.
>
> What I really want to discuss is what I've had to endure over the past few
> days with friends and co-workers as I deal with my pet's health crisis. *I
> suppose I could be imagining much of this, so bear with me. *My general
> impression is that most dog people or non-pet owners don't seem to
> understand the need to, for example, stay home from work babysitting a sick
> cat. *I get the feeling as though cat ownership is less valid of an excuse
> to be at home vs. a sick child or even a sick dog.
>
> Jokes typically come up when I discuss how much I've already spent on my cat
> (about $700 this week). *Someone had commented that they're not even sure
> they'd spend that much on their own child, let alone a cat. *I realize they
> were just ribbing me about it, but you know what they say about there always
> being a shred of truth behind every joke. *On some base level, I think they
> were actually being sincere. *I should point out that these are otherwise
> good co-workers with whom I get along fine.
>
> I'm wondering first if this is just my imagination...if other cat owners out
> there have felt the sting of this stigma. *Perhaps people just have a hard
> time linking a 6 foot, 2-inch, 235-pound male to two little kitties instead
> of, say, a Doberman. ;)
>
> Would appreciate any thoughts or experiences.
>
> Thanks again and happy holidays.

June 12th 14, 06:56 PM
On Saturday, December 22, 2007 6:05:34 PM UTC-7, cindys wrote:
> To me, one of the most touching sights in the world is being in the
> supermarket and seeing a man buying cat food.
> Best regards,
> ---Cindy S.
>
>
> "Paul M. Cook" > wrote in message
> news:[email protected]
> >
> >> I'm wondering first if this is just my imagination...if other cat owners
> > out
> >> there have felt the sting of this stigma. Perhaps people just have a
> >> hard
> >> time linking a 6 foot, 2-inch, 235-pound male to two little kitties
> > instead
> >> of, say, a Doberman. ;)
> >>
> >> Would appreciate any thoughts or experiences.
> >
> > You aren't imagining it. It's a social stereotype.
> >
> > I'm a 6 foot 1 inch 280 pound man with a Grizzly Adams beard and size 13EE
> > shoes who some say would look more at home on a Harley than in my poofy
> > little Jag. I'm a big, hulking SOB as some have called me and damn it I
> > am
> > supposed to have a big hulking dog as a pet. Men "like us" have Bull
> > Mastiffs or German Shepherds or huge Labrador retrievers. Cats are -
> > well -
> > sissy.
> >
> > And I have lost 2 cats in 2 months and I will be damned if I am telling
> > anybody but a couple of friends and my immediate family.
> >
> > That is because I went though what you are going through when I had a sick
> > cat back in 2000. He was dying of cancer and before that we had a crisis
> > with a huge tumor near his heart. All I am going to say is that I am glad
> > I
> > am a man of peace or some very obnoxious *******s would not be around now.
> > The comments I got ranged from rude, to cruel to knowingly abusive and
> > antagonizing. My ordeal brought out a side of people that we all know is
> > there but are nonetheless shocked to see first hand.
> >
> > To all of them I say screw 'em, They aren't worth the dynamite it would
> > take to blow them to hell.
> >
> > Sorry for the coarse talk, but your post hit home. And yes, us big guys
> > have hearts too and just because we are not some cute little kid or a
> > woman
> > or a "non threatening male" doesn't mean we don't have love and compassion
> > for animals and feel a huge sense of loss when they die. I like dogs but
> > I
> > love cats. Simple as that.
> >
> > The prejudices people harbor are a product of permanent adolescence. Our
> > society does not require anyone to grow up anymore, preferring a state of
> > permanent childhood to over being an adult and along with that comes the
> > same crap you'd expect from an adolescent.. People react they do not
> > think.
> > And they will judge you and they will ostracize you for putting your cats
> > needs first. I lost a job over a sick cat once because my boss and fellow
> > employees were aghast that I took time off to care for my cat. They
> > needed
> > a "team player" as they said. But I would do it again and to hell with
> > what
> > people think.
> >
> > Paul
> >
> >

Here Here!!!

Mack A. Damia
June 12th 14, 07:42 PM
On Thu, 12 Jun 2014 10:56:58 -0700 (PDT), wrote:

>On Saturday, December 22, 2007 6:05:34 PM UTC-7, cindys wrote:
>> To me, one of the most touching sights in the world is being in the
>> supermarket and seeing a man buying cat food.
>> Best regards,
>> ---Cindy S.
>>
>>
>> "Paul M. Cook" > wrote in message
>> news:[email protected]
>> >
>> >> I'm wondering first if this is just my imagination...if other cat owners
>> > out
>> >> there have felt the sting of this stigma. Perhaps people just have a
>> >> hard
>> >> time linking a 6 foot, 2-inch, 235-pound male to two little kitties
>> > instead
>> >> of, say, a Doberman. ;)
>> >>
>> >> Would appreciate any thoughts or experiences.
>> >
>> > You aren't imagining it. It's a social stereotype.
>> >
>> > I'm a 6 foot 1 inch 280 pound man with a Grizzly Adams beard and size 13EE
>> > shoes who some say would look more at home on a Harley than in my poofy
>> > little Jag. I'm a big, hulking SOB as some have called me and damn it I
>> > am
>> > supposed to have a big hulking dog as a pet. Men "like us" have Bull
>> > Mastiffs or German Shepherds or huge Labrador retrievers. Cats are -
>> > well -
>> > sissy.
>> >
>> > And I have lost 2 cats in 2 months and I will be damned if I am telling
>> > anybody but a couple of friends and my immediate family.
>> >
>> > That is because I went though what you are going through when I had a sick
>> > cat back in 2000. He was dying of cancer and before that we had a crisis
>> > with a huge tumor near his heart. All I am going to say is that I am glad
>> > I
>> > am a man of peace or some very obnoxious *******s would not be around now.
>> > The comments I got ranged from rude, to cruel to knowingly abusive and
>> > antagonizing. My ordeal brought out a side of people that we all know is
>> > there but are nonetheless shocked to see first hand.
>> >
>> > To all of them I say screw 'em, They aren't worth the dynamite it would
>> > take to blow them to hell.
>> >
>> > Sorry for the coarse talk, but your post hit home. And yes, us big guys
>> > have hearts too and just because we are not some cute little kid or a
>> > woman
>> > or a "non threatening male" doesn't mean we don't have love and compassion
>> > for animals and feel a huge sense of loss when they die. I like dogs but
>> > I
>> > love cats. Simple as that.
>> >
>> > The prejudices people harbor are a product of permanent adolescence. Our
>> > society does not require anyone to grow up anymore, preferring a state of
>> > permanent childhood to over being an adult and along with that comes the
>> > same crap you'd expect from an adolescent.. People react they do not
>> > think.
>> > And they will judge you and they will ostracize you for putting your cats
>> > needs first. I lost a job over a sick cat once because my boss and fellow
>> > employees were aghast that I took time off to care for my cat. They
>> > needed
>> > a "team player" as they said. But I would do it again and to hell with
>> > what
>> > people think.
>> >
>> > Paul
>> >
>> >
>
>Here Here!!!

Always remember - it matters not what others think; that is their
problem. It only matters what you think and how you act.

--
Mack (owner of two sweethearts!)

August 8th 14, 04:27 PM
On Thursday, December 20, 2007 11:46:56 AM UTC-5, David McCracken wrote:
> Hi everyone:
>
> I haven't posted in this forum in a long while, but have always found it
> full of great people with much knowledge and love for cats. So I
> immediately thought of this newsgroup when I wanted to share this
> perspective about cat ownership.
>
> One of my two 10-year-old cats suddenly became ill over the last weekend and
> she's been in the hospital for the last few days. The vet says her immune
> system is attacking her red blood cells and platelets, so they've put her on
> steroids and IV fluids. They've stabilized her enough that I'm about to
> pick her up in about a half hour. She stopped eating once she got to the
> vet, so their hope is that she'll start back up once she returns home and
> gets back to her routine. Otherwise, she may be returning to the vet and
> spending the holidays there.
>
> What I really want to discuss is what I've had to endure over the past few
> days with friends and co-workers as I deal with my pet's health crisis. I
> suppose I could be imagining much of this, so bear with me. My general
> impression is that most dog people or non-pet owners don't seem to
> understand the need to, for example, stay home from work babysitting a sick
> cat. I get the feeling as though cat ownership is less valid of an excuse
> to be at home vs. a sick child or even a sick dog.
>
> Jokes typically come up when I discuss how much I've already spent on my cat
> (about $700 this week). Someone had commented that they're not even sure
> they'd spend that much on their own child, let alone a cat. I realize they
> were just ribbing me about it, but you know what they say about there always
> being a shred of truth behind every joke. On some base level, I think they
> were actually being sincere. I should point out that these are otherwise
> good co-workers with whom I get along fine.
>
> I'm wondering first if this is just my imagination...if other cat owners out
> there have felt the sting of this stigma. Perhaps people just have a hard
> time linking a 6 foot, 2-inch, 235-pound male to two little kitties instead
> of, say, a Doberman. ;)
>
> Would appreciate any thoughts or experiences.
>
> Thanks again and happy holidays.


I see what you are saying, and I have noticed similar things. What I have found is that the responses you are referring to are based upon people's more common interactions with cats - - with owners that do not attend to their needs with as much care as many of the people in this forum.

That is, many people see a cat as an "almost-dog." People on this forum tend to see cats as an "almost-person," or more.

When dogs run loose and do property damage or injury, the owner is assailed.. This is proper because the dog is behaving according to what is in its DNA.

When cats run loose and do property damage or injury, people seem more permissive of it - - they are also hardwired for this type behavior. But the bar of expectations is not set as high for cat owners.

In my county, cats are bound by the same domestic pet ordinances as dogs. Still, people are more inclined to report a loose dog than a loose cat.

So, in that sense, it isn't all bad. Socially, your neighbors will expect you to be much more attentive to a dog than a cat.

I always thought that this translated into people believing that cat owners were less committed to the relationship with the animal: your schedule isn't necessarily as restricted by the needs of your pet.

However, this should not be taken as callous indifference towards your pet (cat), just someone's misinterpretation of the outwardly observable dynamics and how they differ.