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Tim J.
January 11th 08, 08:16 AM
My daughter's cat, now 10 months old, has become almost unbearable.
When we first got Yoshi at 6 weeks, she was very loving. Even after
her spaying a few weeks later, her personality was great. Although
she's always been partial to my daughter, she used to jump up in my
lap to be petted. We know the history of this cat since birth, as
well as her parents (and grandparents), and all were well treated.

The problems started not long after our trip to Florida during the
summer. We left her at my mother's house. She also has a female cat,
about 3 years old. Yoshi came in and took charge, basically ejecting
my mother's cat from the house for the entire week we were gone.
During that time, Yoshi would follow my mother around and jump up into
her lap wanting attention. My mother has always spoiled her cats, and
she treated Yoshi no differently.

After we got her home, my daughter stayed with a friend of hers for
about a month until school started back. She took Yoshi with her.
They had a small dog, and Yoshi seemed to get along well with it. But
when my daughter moved back home, Yoshi's personality had changed
dramatically. When I went to put her in the carrier to come home, she
fought me and scratched my arm up pretty good. Now, when my daughter
is home, Yoshi basically ignores me. When my daughter is not here,
Yoshi will come into the living room meowing at me, but runs when I
try to touch her. I tried ignoring her when she comes into the room
until she starts rubbing up against my leg, but she still bolts when I
reach down to pet her. Now it's to the point where she stays in my
daughter's room most of the time, only coming out to growl and hiss at
me. Any attempt by me to touch her results in her swatting and
clawing at me, sometimes with some serious scratches and puncture
wounds on my hands and arms. Thankfully, the only things she hasn't
been doing are biting and using the bathroom outside of her litter
box. When my daughter is holding Yoshi and she comes near me, Yoshi
starts growling and clinging to my daughter as though I'm going to do
her harm. My daughter hasn't been completely spared from Yoshi's
wrath, but she doesn't get near the reaction from Yoshi that I do.

I've had cats for most of my life, and I've never had one act this
way. I don't know of anyone who has abused her, and don't know why
she seems to hate me so much. The only thing I can think of which may
have set her off is when we had to take her to the vet soon after our
trip because her spaying incision didn't appear to be healing
properly. She fought me ferociously as I took her out of the carrier,
and the vet had to call in extra help to restrain her. Once his
assistants took over, I stepped back and let them do their job. Once
in a while, my daughter can lay Yoshi down next to me and she will
stay as long as I scratch between her ears, but she does so very
reluctantly, with ears back and her growling most of the time. She
then jumps up and runs within seconds after I stop scratching her. If
I go into my daughter's room, Yoshi will hiss and growl at me while
crouching down next to her litter box.

Any ideas how I can reverse this odd behavior from Yoshi?

cybercat
January 11th 08, 04:28 PM
"Tim J." > wrote in message
...
> My daughter's cat, now 10 months old, has become almost unbearable.
> When we first got Yoshi at 6 weeks, she was very loving. Even after
> her spaying a few weeks later, her personality was great. Although
> she's always been partial to my daughter, she used to jump up in my
> lap to be petted. We know the history of this cat since birth, as
> well as her parents (and grandparents), and all were well treated.
>
> The problems started not long after our trip to Florida during the
> summer. We left her at my mother's house. She also has a female cat,
> about 3 years old. Yoshi came in and took charge, basically ejecting
> my mother's cat from the house for the entire week we were gone.
> During that time, Yoshi would follow my mother around and jump up into
> her lap wanting attention. My mother has always spoiled her cats, and
> she treated Yoshi no differently.
>
> After we got her home, my daughter stayed with a friend of hers for
> about a month until school started back. She took Yoshi with her.
> They had a small dog, and Yoshi seemed to get along well with it. But
> when my daughter moved back home, Yoshi's personality had changed
> dramatically. When I went to put her in the carrier to come home, she
> fought me and scratched my arm up pretty good. Now, when my daughter
> is home, Yoshi basically ignores me. When my daughter is not here,
> Yoshi will come into the living room meowing at me, but runs when I
> try to touch her. I tried ignoring her when she comes into the room
> until she starts rubbing up against my leg, but she still bolts when I
> reach down to pet her. Now it's to the point where she stays in my
> daughter's room most of the time, only coming out to growl and hiss at
> me. Any attempt by me to touch her results in her swatting and
> clawing at me, sometimes with some serious scratches and puncture
> wounds on my hands and arms. Thankfully, the only things she hasn't
> been doing are biting and using the bathroom outside of her litter
> box. When my daughter is holding Yoshi and she comes near me, Yoshi
> starts growling and clinging to my daughter as though I'm going to do
> her harm. My daughter hasn't been completely spared from Yoshi's
> wrath, but she doesn't get near the reaction from Yoshi that I do.
>
> I've had cats for most of my life, and I've never had one act this
> way. I don't know of anyone who has abused her, and don't know why
> she seems to hate me so much. The only thing I can think of which may
> have set her off is when we had to take her to the vet soon after our
> trip because her spaying incision didn't appear to be healing
> properly. She fought me ferociously as I took her out of the carrier,
> and the vet had to call in extra help to restrain her. Once his
> assistants took over, I stepped back and let them do their job. Once
> in a while, my daughter can lay Yoshi down next to me and she will
> stay as long as I scratch between her ears, but she does so very
> reluctantly, with ears back and her growling most of the time. She
> then jumps up and runs within seconds after I stop scratching her. If
> I go into my daughter's room, Yoshi will hiss and growl at me while
> crouching down next to her litter box.
>
> Any ideas how I can reverse this odd behavior from Yoshi?
>

When you keep ripping your cat out of familiar environments and
leaving her at others' homes where there are other animals, how
do you expect her to behave? Cats are not objects, they have emotions
and minds, albeit little tiny one. lol

She needs stability, she is new to you, and look at what you have done
to her. Instead of providing a stable, loving home, you keep picking her
up and taking her to stay with others. You have NO idea what happened
with the dog, other cat, or the people in those homes where you left your
cat. Shame on you. Stop carrying Yoshi around like she's some kind
of accessory for your daughter and you will see a different cat, if you
have not completely ruined her by now.

bookie
January 11th 08, 08:11 PM
On 11 Jan, 16:28, "cybercat" > wrote:
> "Tim J." > wrote in message
>
> ...
>
>
>
>
>
> > My daughter's cat, now 10 months old, has become almost unbearable.
> > When we first got Yoshi at 6 weeks, she was very loving. *Even after
> > her spaying a few weeks later, her personality was great. *Although
> > she's always been partial to my daughter, she used to jump up in my
> > lap to be petted. *We know the history of this cat since birth, as
> > well as her parents (and grandparents), and all were well treated.
>
> > The problems started not long after our trip to Florida during the
> > summer. *We left her at my mother's house. *She also has a female cat,
> > about 3 years old. *Yoshi came in and took charge, basically ejecting
> > my mother's cat from the house for the entire week we were gone.
> > During that time, Yoshi would follow my mother around and jump up into
> > her lap wanting attention. *My mother has always spoiled her cats, and
> > she treated Yoshi no differently.
>
> > After we got her home, my daughter stayed with a friend of hers for
> > about a month until school started back. *She took Yoshi with her.
> > They had a small dog, and Yoshi seemed to get along well with it. *But
> > when my daughter moved back home, Yoshi's personality had changed
> > dramatically. *When I went to put her in the carrier to come home, she
> > fought me and scratched my arm up pretty good. *Now, when my daughter
> > is home, Yoshi basically ignores me. *When my daughter is not here,
> > Yoshi will come into the living room meowing at me, but runs when I
> > try to touch her. *I tried ignoring her when she comes into the room
> > until she starts rubbing up against my leg, but she still bolts when I
> > reach down to pet her. *Now it's to the point where she stays in my
> > daughter's room most of the time, only coming out to growl and hiss at
> > me. *Any attempt by me to touch her results in her swatting and
> > clawing at me, sometimes with some serious scratches and puncture
> > wounds on my hands and arms. *Thankfully, the only things she hasn't
> > been doing are biting and using the bathroom outside of her litter
> > box. *When my daughter is holding Yoshi and she comes near me, Yoshi
> > starts growling and clinging to my daughter as though I'm going to do
> > her harm. *My daughter hasn't been completely spared from Yoshi's
> > wrath, but she doesn't get near the reaction from Yoshi that I do.
>
> > I've had cats for most of my life, and I've never had one act this
> > way. *I don't know of anyone who has abused her, and don't know why
> > she seems to hate me so much. *The only thing I can think of which may
> > have set her off is when we had to take her to the vet soon after our
> > trip because her spaying incision didn't appear to be healing
> > properly. *She fought me ferociously as I took her out of the carrier,
> > and the vet had to call in extra help to restrain her. *Once his
> > assistants took over, I stepped back and let them do their job. *Once
> > in a while, my daughter can lay Yoshi down next to me and she will
> > stay as long as I scratch between her ears, but she does so very
> > reluctantly, with ears back and her growling most of the time. *She
> > then jumps up and runs within seconds after I stop scratching her. *If
> > I go into my daughter's room, Yoshi will hiss and growl at me while
> > crouching down next to her litter box.
>
> > Any ideas how I can reverse this odd behavior from Yoshi?
>
> When you keep ripping your cat out of familiar environments and
> leaving her at others' homes where there are other animals, how
> do you expect her to behave? Cats are not objects, they have emotions
> and minds, albeit little tiny one. lol
>
> She needs stability, she is new to you, and look at what you have done
> to her. Instead of providing a stable, loving home, you keep picking her
> up and taking her to stay with others. You have NO idea what happened
> with the dog, other cat, or the people in those homes where you left your
> cat. Shame on you. Stop carrying Yoshi around like she's some kind
> of accessory for your daughter and you will see a different cat, if you
> have not completely ruined her by now.- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

couldn't agree more! i am constantly amazed by these people who shift
their cats around as though they were little dogs, cat are veru
territorial and are more likely to attach to a place than a person. if
yoshi had stayed at her proper home when your daughter went off to her
friend's house then she would have had a more stable start in life and
would probably not have missed your daughter too much you might have
found, why on earth did you let your daughter take her to this
friend's house where there was a dog anyway? what a bizarre thing to
do anyway.

also why on earth did you get a small young vat and then bugger off on
a trip to florida and leave her with someone else? it may have been
your mother but the cat doesn;t know that and was there any need to
shift her out of the home and environment she was already trying to
get used (and failing thanks to you) why on earth did you not just
leave her at home and get someone to cat and house sit for you? or
better still not go away on your trip and have a holiday at home
getting ot know your new furry friend and help her to settle in
better. If you had a new baby woudl you dump it with a relative and
sod off on holiday? no i doubt it, so why do it with a young and
impressionable cat?

i ahve recently had 2 trips away abroad but both times i have
organised these to be at times when my housemates will be here to feed
and pamper my furbabies so they suffer as little disruption as
possible to their routine. the one time there woudl have been none
here to look after my precious jasper (RB july 2005) cos we were all
away at the same time i got a good friend who knew jasper well to stay
inthe huose for a week as there was going to be no question of jasper
being uprooted and going to a cattery. As he had come form a rescue
centre after his previous mum died i think that putting him in a
cattery would have been the end of him and i was not goign to upset
him. If i coud not get anyone suitable to live in our house then i
would have cancelled my trip away, no question.

jasper's welfare, health and emotional well being were my
responsibiility just as yoshi's is yours and i have to say that i
think you let her down by shunting her about in her formative years
from pillar to post. i do not knwo really what you canb do knwo to
remedy matters but i hope you do not do this again to yoshi or to
another young cat who is depending on you to provide a stable home for
them.

i despair of some people, i really do

bookie

January 11th 08, 09:49 PM
On Jan 11, 12:11 pm, bookie > wrote:
> On 11 Jan, 16:28, "cybercat" > wrote:
>
>
>
> > "Tim J." > wrote in message
>
> ...
>
> > > My daughter's cat, now 10 months old, has become almost unbearable.
> > > When we first got Yoshi at 6 weeks, she was very loving. Even after
> > > her spaying a few weeks later, her personality was great. Although
> > > she's always been partial to my daughter, she used to jump up in my
> > > lap to be petted. We know the history of this cat since birth, as
> > > well as her parents (and grandparents), and all were well treated.
>
> > > The problems started not long after our trip to Florida during the
> > > summer. We left her at my mother's house. She also has a female cat,
> > > about 3 years old. Yoshi came in and took charge, basically ejecting
> > > my mother's cat from the house for the entire week we were gone.
> > > During that time, Yoshi would follow my mother around and jump up into
> > > her lap wanting attention. My mother has always spoiled her cats, and
> > > she treated Yoshi no differently.
>
> > > After we got her home, my daughter stayed with a friend of hers for
> > > about a month until school started back. She took Yoshi with her.
> > > They had a small dog, and Yoshi seemed to get along well with it. But
> > > when my daughter moved back home, Yoshi's personality had changed
> > > dramatically. When I went to put her in the carrier to come home, she
> > > fought me and scratched my arm up pretty good. Now, when my daughter
> > > is home, Yoshi basically ignores me. When my daughter is not here,
> > > Yoshi will come into the living room meowing at me, but runs when I
> > > try to touch her. I tried ignoring her when she comes into the room
> > > until she starts rubbing up against my leg, but she still bolts when I
> > > reach down to pet her. Now it's to the point where she stays in my
> > > daughter's room most of the time, only coming out to growl and hiss at
> > > me. Any attempt by me to touch her results in her swatting and
> > > clawing at me, sometimes with some serious scratches and puncture
> > > wounds on my hands and arms. Thankfully, the only things she hasn't
> > > been doing are biting and using the bathroom outside of her litter
> > > box. When my daughter is holding Yoshi and she comes near me, Yoshi
> > > starts growling and clinging to my daughter as though I'm going to do
> > > her harm. My daughter hasn't been completely spared from Yoshi's
> > > wrath, but she doesn't get near the reaction from Yoshi that I do.
>
> > > I've had cats for most of my life, and I've never had one act this
> > > way. I don't know of anyone who has abused her, and don't know why
> > > she seems to hate me so much. The only thing I can think of which may
> > > have set her off is when we had to take her to the vet soon after our
> > > trip because her spaying incision didn't appear to be healing
> > > properly. She fought me ferociously as I took her out of the carrier,
> > > and the vet had to call in extra help to restrain her. Once his
> > > assistants took over, I stepped back and let them do their job. Once
> > > in a while, my daughter can lay Yoshi down next to me and she will
> > > stay as long as I scratch between her ears, but she does so very
> > > reluctantly, with ears back and her growling most of the time. She
> > > then jumps up and runs within seconds after I stop scratching her. If
> > > I go into my daughter's room, Yoshi will hiss and growl at me while
> > > crouching down next to her litter box.
>
> > > Any ideas how I can reverse this odd behavior from Yoshi?
>
> > When you keep ripping your cat out of familiar environments and
> > leaving her at others' homes where there are other animals, how
> > do you expect her to behave? Cats are not objects, they have emotions
> > and minds, albeit little tiny one. lol
>
> > She needs stability, she is new to you, and look at what you have done
> > to her. Instead of providing a stable, loving home, you keep picking her
> > up and taking her to stay with others. You have NO idea what happened
> > with the dog, other cat, or the people in those homes where you left your
> > cat. Shame on you. Stop carrying Yoshi around like she's some kind
> > of accessory for your daughter and you will see a different cat, if you
> > have not completely ruined her by now.- Hide quoted text -
>
> > - Show quoted text -
>
> couldn't agree more! i am constantly amazed by these people who shift
> their cats around as though they were little dogs, cat are veru
> territorial and are more likely to attach to a place than a person. if
> yoshi had stayed at her proper home when your daughter went off to her
> friend's house then she would have had a more stable start in life and
> would probably not have missed your daughter too much you might have
> found, why on earth did you let your daughter take her to this
> friend's house where there was a dog anyway? what a bizarre thing to
> do anyway.
>
> also why on earth did you get a small young vat and then bugger off on
> a trip to florida and leave her with someone else? it may have been
> your mother but the cat doesn;t know that and was there any need to
> shift her out of the home and environment she was already trying to
> get used (and failing thanks to you) why on earth did you not just
> leave her at home and get someone to cat and house sit for you?

That is what the people in canada did when their cat was killed in a
microwave.

PET ADMIN
January 12th 08, 01:34 AM
On Jan 11, 1:49 pm, wrote:
> On Jan 11, 12:11 pm, bookie > wrote:
>
>
>
> > On 11 Jan, 16:28, "cybercat" > wrote:
>
> > > "Tim J." > wrote in message
>
> > ...
>
> > > > My daughter's cat, now 10 months old, has become almost unbearable.
> > > > When we first got Yoshi at 6 weeks, she was very loving. Even after
> > > > her spaying a few weeks later, her personality was great. Although
> > > > she's always been partial to my daughter, she used to jump up in my
> > > > lap to be petted. We know the history of this cat since birth, as
> > > > well as her parents (and grandparents), and all were well treated.
>
> > > > The problems started not long after our trip to Florida during the
> > > > summer. We left her at my mother's house. She also has a female cat,
> > > > about 3 years old. Yoshi came in and took charge, basically ejecting
> > > > my mother's cat from the house for the entire week we were gone.
> > > > During that time, Yoshi would follow my mother around and jump up into
> > > > her lap wanting attention. My mother has always spoiled her cats, and
> > > > she treated Yoshi no differently.
>
> > > > After we got her home, my daughter stayed with a friend of hers for
> > > > about a month until school started back. She took Yoshi with her.
> > > > They had a small dog, and Yoshi seemed to get along well with it. But
> > > > when my daughter moved back home, Yoshi's personality had changed
> > > > dramatically. When I went to put her in the carrier to come home, she
> > > > fought me and scratched my arm up pretty good. Now, when my daughter
> > > > is home, Yoshi basically ignores me. When my daughter is not here,
> > > > Yoshi will come into the living room meowing at me, but runs when I
> > > > try to touch her. I tried ignoring her when she comes into the room
> > > > until she starts rubbing up against my leg, but she still bolts when I
> > > > reach down to pet her. Now it's to the point where she stays in my
> > > > daughter's room most of the time, only coming out to growl and hiss at
> > > > me. Any attempt by me to touch her results in her swatting and
> > > > clawing at me, sometimes with some serious scratches and puncture
> > > > wounds on my hands and arms. Thankfully, the only things she hasn't
> > > > been doing are biting and using the bathroom outside of her litter
> > > > box. When my daughter is holding Yoshi and she comes near me, Yoshi
> > > > starts growling and clinging to my daughter as though I'm going to do
> > > > her harm. My daughter hasn't been completely spared from Yoshi's
> > > > wrath, but she doesn't get near the reaction from Yoshi that I do.
>
> > > > I've had cats for most of my life, and I've never had one act this
> > > > way. I don't know of anyone who has abused her, and don't know why
> > > > she seems to hate me so much. The only thing I can think of which may
> > > > have set her off is when we had to take her to the vet soon after our
> > > > trip because her spaying incision didn't appear to be healing
> > > > properly. She fought me ferociously as I took her out of the carrier,
> > > > and the vet had to call in extra help to restrain her. Once his
> > > > assistants took over, I stepped back and let them do their job. Once
> > > > in a while, my daughter can lay Yoshi down next to me and she will
> > > > stay as long as I scratch between her ears, but she does so very
> > > > reluctantly, with ears back and her growling most of the time. She
> > > > then jumps up and runs within seconds after I stop scratching her. If
> > > > I go into my daughter's room, Yoshi will hiss and growl at me while
> > > > crouching down next to her litter box.
>
> > > > Any ideas how I can reverse this odd behavior from Yoshi?
>
> > > When you keep ripping your cat out of familiar environments and
> > > leaving her at others' homes where there are other animals, how
> > > do you expect her to behave? Cats are not objects, they have emotions
> > > and minds, albeit little tiny one. lol
>
> > > She needs stability, she is new to you, and look at what you have done
> > > to her. Instead of providing a stable, loving home, you keep picking her
> > > up and taking her to stay with others. You have NO idea what happened
> > > with the dog, other cat, or the people in those homes where you left your
> > > cat. Shame on you. Stop carrying Yoshi around like she's some kind
> > > of accessory for your daughter and you will see a different cat, if you
> > > have not completely ruined her by now.- Hide quoted text -
>
> > > - Show quoted text -
>
> > couldn't agree more! i am constantly amazed by these people who shift
> > their cats around as though they were little dogs, cat are veru
> > territorial and are more likely to attach to a place than a person. if
> > yoshi had stayed at her proper home when your daughter went off to her
> > friend's house then she would have had a more stable start in life and
> > would probably not have missed your daughter too much you might have
> > found, why on earth did you let your daughter take her to this
> > friend's house where there was a dog anyway? what a bizarre thing to
> > do anyway.
>
> > also why on earth did you get a small young vat and then bugger off on
> > a trip to florida and leave her with someone else? it may have been
> > your mother but the cat doesn;t know that and was there any need to
> > shift her out of the home and environment she was already trying to
> > get used (and failing thanks to you) why on earth did you not just
> > leave her at home and get someone to cat and house sit for you?
>
> That is what the people in canada did when their cat was killed in a
> microwave.

I see no reasoning behind the microwave incident. There are many
things that should be done to those individuals however, and my vote
is the same treatment they gave the cat. Although the environment may
be an issue, there is probably more to it as well, including acting
out for attention or some weird testing phase due to abandonment
issues by the cat. I wonder what might have been done while you were
away and how serious your sitters took her care.

Troy
www.petadministration.com

Xarri
January 12th 08, 01:51 AM
> wrote in message
...
> On Jan 11, 12:11 pm, bookie > wrote:
>> On 11 Jan, 16:28, "cybercat" > wrote:
>>
>>
>>
>> > "Tim J." > wrote in message
>>
>> ...
>>
>> > > My daughter's cat, now 10 months old, has become almost unbearable.
>> > > When we first got Yoshi at 6 weeks, she was very loving. Even after
>> > > her spaying a few weeks later, her personality was great. Although
>> > > she's always been partial to my daughter, she used to jump up in my
>> > > lap to be petted. We know the history of this cat since birth, as
>> > > well as her parents (and grandparents), and all were well treated.
>>
>> > > The problems started not long after our trip to Florida during the
>> > > summer. We left her at my mother's house. She also has a female
>> > > cat,
>> > > about 3 years old. Yoshi came in and took charge, basically ejecting
>> > > my mother's cat from the house for the entire week we were gone.
>> > > During that time, Yoshi would follow my mother around and jump up
>> > > into
>> > > her lap wanting attention. My mother has always spoiled her cats,
>> > > and
>> > > she treated Yoshi no differently.
>>
>> > > After we got her home, my daughter stayed with a friend of hers for
>> > > about a month until school started back. She took Yoshi with her.
>> > > They had a small dog, and Yoshi seemed to get along well with it.
>> > > But
>> > > when my daughter moved back home, Yoshi's personality had changed
>> > > dramatically. When I went to put her in the carrier to come home,
>> > > she
>> > > fought me and scratched my arm up pretty good. Now, when my daughter
>> > > is home, Yoshi basically ignores me. When my daughter is not here,
>> > > Yoshi will come into the living room meowing at me, but runs when I
>> > > try to touch her. I tried ignoring her when she comes into the room
>> > > until she starts rubbing up against my leg, but she still bolts when
>> > > I
>> > > reach down to pet her. Now it's to the point where she stays in my
>> > > daughter's room most of the time, only coming out to growl and hiss
>> > > at
>> > > me. Any attempt by me to touch her results in her swatting and
>> > > clawing at me, sometimes with some serious scratches and puncture
>> > > wounds on my hands and arms. Thankfully, the only things she hasn't
>> > > been doing are biting and using the bathroom outside of her litter
>> > > box. When my daughter is holding Yoshi and she comes near me, Yoshi
>> > > starts growling and clinging to my daughter as though I'm going to do
>> > > her harm. My daughter hasn't been completely spared from Yoshi's
>> > > wrath, but she doesn't get near the reaction from Yoshi that I do.
>>
>> > > I've had cats for most of my life, and I've never had one act this
>> > > way. I don't know of anyone who has abused her, and don't know why
>> > > she seems to hate me so much. The only thing I can think of which
>> > > may
>> > > have set her off is when we had to take her to the vet soon after our
>> > > trip because her spaying incision didn't appear to be healing
>> > > properly. She fought me ferociously as I took her out of the
>> > > carrier,
>> > > and the vet had to call in extra help to restrain her. Once his
>> > > assistants took over, I stepped back and let them do their job. Once
>> > > in a while, my daughter can lay Yoshi down next to me and she will
>> > > stay as long as I scratch between her ears, but she does so very
>> > > reluctantly, with ears back and her growling most of the time. She
>> > > then jumps up and runs within seconds after I stop scratching her.
>> > > If
>> > > I go into my daughter's room, Yoshi will hiss and growl at me while
>> > > crouching down next to her litter box.
>>
>> > > Any ideas how I can reverse this odd behavior from Yoshi?
>>
>> > When you keep ripping your cat out of familiar environments and
>> > leaving her at others' homes where there are other animals, how
>> > do you expect her to behave? Cats are not objects, they have emotions
>> > and minds, albeit little tiny one. lol
>>
>> > She needs stability, she is new to you, and look at what you have done
>> > to her. Instead of providing a stable, loving home, you keep picking
>> > her
>> > up and taking her to stay with others. You have NO idea what happened
>> > with the dog, other cat, or the people in those homes where you left
>> > your
>> > cat. Shame on you. Stop carrying Yoshi around like she's some kind
>> > of accessory for your daughter and you will see a different cat, if you
>> > have not completely ruined her by now.- Hide quoted text -
>>
>> > - Show quoted text -
>>
>> couldn't agree more! i am constantly amazed by these people who shift
>> their cats around as though they were little dogs, cat are veru
>> territorial and are more likely to attach to a place than a person. if
>> yoshi had stayed at her proper home when your daughter went off to her
>> friend's house then she would have had a more stable start in life and
>> would probably not have missed your daughter too much you might have
>> found, why on earth did you let your daughter take her to this
>> friend's house where there was a dog anyway? what a bizarre thing to
>> do anyway.
>>
>> also why on earth did you get a small young vat and then bugger off on
>> a trip to florida and leave her with someone else? it may have been
>> your mother but the cat doesn;t know that and was there any need to
>> shift her out of the home and environment she was already trying to
>> get used (and failing thanks to you) why on earth did you not just
>> leave her at home and get someone to cat and house sit for you?
>
> That is what the people in canada did when their cat was killed in a
> microwave.


aloon...

go back and read again....there was NO house sitter there, it was the
neighbor stopping in to take care of feeding the cat. and must we keep
bringing up that horrible event? it's not that i want to forget it happened
but all you're doing is upsetting many people over and over again :(*

Tim J.
January 12th 08, 11:27 AM
On Fri, 11 Jan 2008 12:11:49 -0800 (PST), bookie
> wrote:

>On 11 Jan, 16:28, "cybercat" > wrote:
>> "Tim J." > wrote in message
>>
>> ...
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> > My daughter's cat, now 10 months old, has become almost unbearable.
>> > When we first got Yoshi at 6 weeks, she was very loving. *Even after
>> > her spaying a few weeks later, her personality was great. *Although
>> > she's always been partial to my daughter, she used to jump up in my
>> > lap to be petted. *We know the history of this cat since birth, as
>> > well as her parents (and grandparents), and all were well treated.
>>
>> > The problems started not long after our trip to Florida during the
>> > summer. *We left her at my mother's house. *She also has a female cat,
>> > about 3 years old. *Yoshi came in and took charge, basically ejecting
>> > my mother's cat from the house for the entire week we were gone.
>> > During that time, Yoshi would follow my mother around and jump up into
>> > her lap wanting attention. *My mother has always spoiled her cats, and
>> > she treated Yoshi no differently.
>>
>> > After we got her home, my daughter stayed with a friend of hers for
>> > about a month until school started back. *She took Yoshi with her.
>> > They had a small dog, and Yoshi seemed to get along well with it. *But
>> > when my daughter moved back home, Yoshi's personality had changed
>> > dramatically. *When I went to put her in the carrier to come home, she
>> > fought me and scratched my arm up pretty good. *Now, when my daughter
>> > is home, Yoshi basically ignores me. *When my daughter is not here,
>> > Yoshi will come into the living room meowing at me, but runs when I
>> > try to touch her. *I tried ignoring her when she comes into the room
>> > until she starts rubbing up against my leg, but she still bolts when I
>> > reach down to pet her. *Now it's to the point where she stays in my
>> > daughter's room most of the time, only coming out to growl and hiss at
>> > me. *Any attempt by me to touch her results in her swatting and
>> > clawing at me, sometimes with some serious scratches and puncture
>> > wounds on my hands and arms. *Thankfully, the only things she hasn't
>> > been doing are biting and using the bathroom outside of her litter
>> > box. *When my daughter is holding Yoshi and she comes near me, Yoshi
>> > starts growling and clinging to my daughter as though I'm going to do
>> > her harm. *My daughter hasn't been completely spared from Yoshi's
>> > wrath, but she doesn't get near the reaction from Yoshi that I do.
>>
>> > I've had cats for most of my life, and I've never had one act this
>> > way. *I don't know of anyone who has abused her, and don't know why
>> > she seems to hate me so much. *The only thing I can think of which may
>> > have set her off is when we had to take her to the vet soon after our
>> > trip because her spaying incision didn't appear to be healing
>> > properly. *She fought me ferociously as I took her out of the carrier,
>> > and the vet had to call in extra help to restrain her. *Once his
>> > assistants took over, I stepped back and let them do their job. *Once
>> > in a while, my daughter can lay Yoshi down next to me and she will
>> > stay as long as I scratch between her ears, but she does so very
>> > reluctantly, with ears back and her growling most of the time. *She
>> > then jumps up and runs within seconds after I stop scratching her. *If
>> > I go into my daughter's room, Yoshi will hiss and growl at me while
>> > crouching down next to her litter box.
>>
>> > Any ideas how I can reverse this odd behavior from Yoshi?
>>
>> When you keep ripping your cat out of familiar environments and
>> leaving her at others' homes where there are other animals, how
>> do you expect her to behave? Cats are not objects, they have emotions
>> and minds, albeit little tiny one. lol
>>
>> She needs stability, she is new to you, and look at what you have done
>> to her. Instead of providing a stable, loving home, you keep picking her
>> up and taking her to stay with others. You have NO idea what happened
>> with the dog, other cat, or the people in those homes where you left your
>> cat. Shame on you. Stop carrying Yoshi around like she's some kind
>> of accessory for your daughter and you will see a different cat, if you
>> have not completely ruined her by now.- Hide quoted text -
>>
>> - Show quoted text -
>
>couldn't agree more! i am constantly amazed by these people who shift
>their cats around as though they were little dogs, cat are veru
>territorial and are more likely to attach to a place than a person. if
>yoshi had stayed at her proper home when your daughter went off to her
>friend's house then she would have had a more stable start in life and
>would probably not have missed your daughter too much you might have
>found, why on earth did you let your daughter take her to this
>friend's house where there was a dog anyway? what a bizarre thing to
>do anyway.
>
>also why on earth did you get a small young vat and then bugger off on
>a trip to florida and leave her with someone else? it may have been
>your mother but the cat doesn;t know that and was there any need to
>shift her out of the home and environment she was already trying to
>get used (and failing thanks to you) why on earth did you not just
>leave her at home and get someone to cat and house sit for you? or
>better still not go away on your trip and have a holiday at home
>getting ot know your new furry friend and help her to settle in
>better. If you had a new baby woudl you dump it with a relative and
>sod off on holiday? no i doubt it, so why do it with a young and
>impressionable cat?
>
>i ahve recently had 2 trips away abroad but both times i have
>organised these to be at times when my housemates will be here to feed
>and pamper my furbabies so they suffer as little disruption as
>possible to their routine. the one time there woudl have been none
>here to look after my precious jasper (RB july 2005) cos we were all
>away at the same time i got a good friend who knew jasper well to stay
>inthe huose for a week as there was going to be no question of jasper
>being uprooted and going to a cattery. As he had come form a rescue
>centre after his previous mum died i think that putting him in a
>cattery would have been the end of him and i was not goign to upset
>him. If i coud not get anyone suitable to live in our house then i
>would have cancelled my trip away, no question.
>
>jasper's welfare, health and emotional well being were my
>responsibiility just as yoshi's is yours and i have to say that i
>think you let her down by shunting her about in her formative years
>from pillar to post. i do not knwo really what you canb do knwo to
>remedy matters but i hope you do not do this again to yoshi or to
>another young cat who is depending on you to provide a stable home for
>them.
>
>i despair of some people, i really do
>
>bookie

I guess I can appreciate the comments, even if some of them are quite
presumptive, and to be honest, a bit condescending.

First, it wasn't like we just dumped her off at my mother's house
without any preparation. On our vet's advice, we took her over for
several short visits so she could be around my mother and her cat
without the stress of being without us. Those visits went
exceptionally well. The arrangements were made for her to stay at my
mother's house because my mother has some difficulty getting into and
out of my property, due to reduced night vision, and her perceived
inability to get her car in and out of my driveway. In short, I was
trying to accommodate someone who was doing us a favor. And quite
frankly, I wouldn't trust anyone else in my house while I'm gone. We
also felt it better that Yoshi be around someone 24/7 with whom she
was familiar rather than to be left alone, save for short visits by
someone to check in on her. I trust you'll agree that was a far
better option than boarding her at some kennel. As for "buggering off
on a trip to Florida", what's done is done. It wasn't planned that
way, but the opportunity came up, and with my health problems of late,
I decided, upon doctor's advice, to take my first real vacation in
over 14 years. But that's not when her personality changed.

Second, it was not my wish, desire, nor with my approval that my
daughter so selfishly and thoughtlessly decided to "move out" for a
month. But in this state at her age, she is legally considered an
adult, and I had very little say in the matter. In fact, it was done
without my prior knowledge. I arrived home from running errands one
day to a note saying she and Yoshi were staying with her friend until
school started back. I've already expressed my extreme displeasure
over that situation many times with her, and I think I've impressed
upon her the potential damage that has been done to Yoshi. I doubt
her mistake will be repeated.

But even tonight, with my daughter not at home, Yoshi is being quite a
bit more receptive to me. She comes into the same room with me, and
I've even had her chasing her red laser dot around the walls,
something she seems to enjoy quite a bit. She starts "complaining"
when I stop. And yes, I'm quite careful to make sure it isn't shined
anywhere near her eyes. She still grumbles when I pet her, but at
least she tolerates it. One thing I failed to mention previously is
ever since the vet visit, she HATES being touched on her back near her
tail. Her biggest fight at the vet was while the vet took her rectal
temperature, and it appears to me she's afraid any time anyone touches
her "back there", because she thinks she's going to go through that
again. I keep going back to that vet visit because that's when I
first noticed the personality change. It occurred during my
daughter's stay at her friend's house. And her personality now is
akin to how belligerent she was when she came home from being spayed,
but that episode only lasted a day or so.

So given the fact that Yoshi is now home to stay (she hasn't left this
house in over 4 months now), I welcome any suggestions that might help
her become re-acclamated to her home environment. I just feel
additional piling on of criticism at this point would be unproductive.

Outsider
January 12th 08, 02:35 PM
Tim J. > wrote in
:

> On Fri, 11 Jan 2008 12:11:49 -0800 (PST), bookie
> > wrote:
>
>>On 11 Jan, 16:28, "cybercat" > wrote:
>>> "Tim J." > wrote in message
>>>
>>> ...
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> > My daughter's cat, now 10 months old, has become almost
>>> > unbearable. When we first got Yoshi at 6 weeks, she was very
>>> > loving. *Even after her spaying a few weeks later, her personality
>>> > was great. *Although she's always been partial to my daughter, she
>>> > used to jump up in my lap to be petted. *We know the history of
>>> > this cat since birth, as well as her parents (and grandparents),
>>> > and all were well treated.
>>>
>>> > The problems started not long after our trip to Florida during the
>>> > summer. *We left her at my mother's house. *She also has a female
>>> > cat, about 3 years old. *Yoshi came in and took charge, basically
>>> > ejecting my mother's cat from the house for the entire week we
>>> > were gone. During that time, Yoshi would follow my mother around
>>> > and jump up into her lap wanting attention. *My mother has always
>>> > spoiled her cats, and she treated Yoshi no differently.
>>>
>>> > After we got her home, my daughter stayed with a friend of hers
>>> > for about a month until school started back. *She took Yoshi with
>>> > her. They had a small dog, and Yoshi seemed to get along well with
>>> > it. *But when my daughter moved back home, Yoshi's personality had
>>> > changed dramatically. *When I went to put her in the carrier to
>>> > come home, she fought me and scratched my arm up pretty good.
>>> > *Now, when my daughter is home, Yoshi basically ignores me. *When
>>> > my daughter is not here, Yoshi will come into the living room
>>> > meowing at me, but runs when I try to touch her. *I tried ignoring
>>> > her when she comes into the room until she starts rubbing up
>>> > against my leg, but she still bolts when I reach down to pet her.
>>> > *Now it's to the point where she stays in my daughter's room most
>>> > of the time, only coming out to growl and hiss at me. *Any attempt
>>> > by me to touch her results in her swatting and clawing at me,
>>> > sometimes with some serious scratches and puncture wounds on my
>>> > hands and arms. *Thankfully, the only things she hasn't been doing
>>> > are biting and using the bathroom outside of her litter box. *When
>>> > my daughter is holding Yoshi and she comes near me, Yoshi starts
>>> > growling and clinging to my daughter as though I'm going to do
>>> > her harm. *My daughter hasn't been completely spared from Yoshi's
>>> > wrath, but she doesn't get near the reaction from Yoshi that I do.
>>>
>>> > I've had cats for most of my life, and I've never had one act this
>>> > way. *I don't know of anyone who has abused her, and don't know
>>> > why she seems to hate me so much. *The only thing I can think of
>>> > which may have set her off is when we had to take her to the vet
>>> > soon after our trip because her spaying incision didn't appear to
>>> > be healing properly. *She fought me ferociously as I took her out
>>> > of the carrier, and the vet had to call in extra help to restrain
>>> > her. *Once his assistants took over, I stepped back and let them
>>> > do their job. *Once in a while, my daughter can lay Yoshi down
>>> > next to me and she will stay as long as I scratch between her
>>> > ears, but she does so very reluctantly, with ears back and her
>>> > growling most of the time. *She then jumps up and runs within
>>> > seconds after I stop scratching her. *If I go into my daughter's
>>> > room, Yoshi will hiss and growl at me while crouching down next to
>>> > her litter box.
>>>
>>> > Any ideas how I can reverse this odd behavior from Yoshi?
>>>
>>> When you keep ripping your cat out of familiar environments and
>>> leaving her at others' homes where there are other animals, how
>>> do you expect her to behave? Cats are not objects, they have
>>> emotions and minds, albeit little tiny one. lol
>>>
>>> She needs stability, she is new to you, and look at what you have
>>> done to her. Instead of providing a stable, loving home, you keep
>>> picking her up and taking her to stay with others. You have NO idea
>>> what happened with the dog, other cat, or the people in those homes
>>> where you left your cat. Shame on you. Stop carrying Yoshi around
>>> like she's some kind of accessory for your daughter and you will see
>>> a different cat, if you have not completely ruined her by now.- Hide
>>> quoted text -
>>>
>>> - Show quoted text -
>>
>>couldn't agree more! i am constantly amazed by these people who shift
>>their cats around as though they were little dogs, cat are veru
>>territorial and are more likely to attach to a place than a person. if
>>yoshi had stayed at her proper home when your daughter went off to her
>>friend's house then she would have had a more stable start in life and
>>would probably not have missed your daughter too much you might have
>>found, why on earth did you let your daughter take her to this
>>friend's house where there was a dog anyway? what a bizarre thing to
>>do anyway.
>>
>>also why on earth did you get a small young vat and then bugger off on
>>a trip to florida and leave her with someone else? it may have been
>>your mother but the cat doesn;t know that and was there any need to
>>shift her out of the home and environment she was already trying to
>>get used (and failing thanks to you) why on earth did you not just
>>leave her at home and get someone to cat and house sit for you? or
>>better still not go away on your trip and have a holiday at home
>>getting ot know your new furry friend and help her to settle in
>>better. If you had a new baby woudl you dump it with a relative and
>>sod off on holiday? no i doubt it, so why do it with a young and
>>impressionable cat?
>>
>>i ahve recently had 2 trips away abroad but both times i have
>>organised these to be at times when my housemates will be here to feed
>>and pamper my furbabies so they suffer as little disruption as
>>possible to their routine. the one time there woudl have been none
>>here to look after my precious jasper (RB july 2005) cos we were all
>>away at the same time i got a good friend who knew jasper well to stay
>>inthe huose for a week as there was going to be no question of jasper
>>being uprooted and going to a cattery. As he had come form a rescue
>>centre after his previous mum died i think that putting him in a
>>cattery would have been the end of him and i was not goign to upset
>>him. If i coud not get anyone suitable to live in our house then i
>>would have cancelled my trip away, no question.
>>
>>jasper's welfare, health and emotional well being were my
>>responsibiility just as yoshi's is yours and i have to say that i
>>think you let her down by shunting her about in her formative years
>>from pillar to post. i do not knwo really what you canb do knwo to
>>remedy matters but i hope you do not do this again to yoshi or to
>>another young cat who is depending on you to provide a stable home for
>>them.
>>
>>i despair of some people, i really do
>>
>>bookie
>
> I guess I can appreciate the comments, even if some of them are quite
> presumptive, and to be honest, a bit condescending.
>
> First, it wasn't like we just dumped her off at my mother's house
> without any preparation. On our vet's advice, we took her over for
> several short visits so she could be around my mother and her cat
> without the stress of being without us. Those visits went
> exceptionally well. The arrangements were made for her to stay at my
> mother's house because my mother has some difficulty getting into and
> out of my property, due to reduced night vision, and her perceived
> inability to get her car in and out of my driveway. In short, I was
> trying to accommodate someone who was doing us a favor. And quite
> frankly, I wouldn't trust anyone else in my house while I'm gone. We
> also felt it better that Yoshi be around someone 24/7 with whom she
> was familiar rather than to be left alone, save for short visits by
> someone to check in on her. I trust you'll agree that was a far
> better option than boarding her at some kennel. As for "buggering off
> on a trip to Florida", what's done is done. It wasn't planned that
> way, but the opportunity came up, and with my health problems of late,
> I decided, upon doctor's advice, to take my first real vacation in
> over 14 years. But that's not when her personality changed.
>
> Second, it was not my wish, desire, nor with my approval that my
> daughter so selfishly and thoughtlessly decided to "move out" for a
> month. But in this state at her age, she is legally considered an
> adult, and I had very little say in the matter. In fact, it was done
> without my prior knowledge. I arrived home from running errands one
> day to a note saying she and Yoshi were staying with her friend until
> school started back. I've already expressed my extreme displeasure
> over that situation many times with her, and I think I've impressed
> upon her the potential damage that has been done to Yoshi. I doubt
> her mistake will be repeated.
>
> But even tonight, with my daughter not at home, Yoshi is being quite a
> bit more receptive to me. She comes into the same room with me, and
> I've even had her chasing her red laser dot around the walls,
> something she seems to enjoy quite a bit. She starts "complaining"
> when I stop. And yes, I'm quite careful to make sure it isn't shined
> anywhere near her eyes. She still grumbles when I pet her, but at
> least she tolerates it. One thing I failed to mention previously is
> ever since the vet visit, she HATES being touched on her back near her
> tail. Her biggest fight at the vet was while the vet took her rectal
> temperature, and it appears to me she's afraid any time anyone touches
> her "back there", because she thinks she's going to go through that
> again. I keep going back to that vet visit because that's when I
> first noticed the personality change. It occurred during my
> daughter's stay at her friend's house. And her personality now is
> akin to how belligerent she was when she came home from being spayed,
> but that episode only lasted a day or so.
>
> So given the fact that Yoshi is now home to stay (she hasn't left this
> house in over 4 months now), I welcome any suggestions that might help
> her become re-acclamated to her home environment. I just feel
> additional piling on of criticism at this point would be unproductive.
>
>


You need to give her much more time. She may never "come around" as much
as you hope but you seem to understand how she might feel so you know it
will take time for her to see you as a protector and a friend. She does
sound like she is warming up if slowly. I would also get a "fishing
pole" type toy; the ones with a "prey" on a line that you dangle from a
pole. That way she gets to catch it now and then. The red dot is great
but they never get the fun of grabbing it and giving it a good thrashing.
She will also associate it with you more than she might the laser dot.

Andy

[yes Matthew, I am taking my own advice also]

bookie
January 13th 08, 02:24 AM
On 12 Jan, 01:51, "Xarri" > wrote:
> > wrote in message
>
> ...
>
>
>
>
>
> > On Jan 11, 12:11 pm, bookie > wrote:
> >> On 11 Jan, 16:28, "cybercat" > wrote:
>
> >> > "Tim J." > wrote in message
>
> >> ...
>
> >> > > My daughter's cat, now 10 months old, has become almost unbearable.
> >> > > When we first got Yoshi at 6 weeks, she was very loving. *Even after
> >> > > her spaying a few weeks later, her personality was great. *Although
> >> > > she's always been partial to my daughter, she used to jump up in my
> >> > > lap to be petted. *We know the history of this cat since birth, as
> >> > > well as her parents (and grandparents), and all were well treated.
>
> >> > > The problems started not long after our trip to Florida during the
> >> > > summer. *We left her at my mother's house. *She also has a female
> >> > > cat,
> >> > > about 3 years old. *Yoshi came in and took charge, basically ejecting
> >> > > my mother's cat from the house for the entire week we were gone.
> >> > > During that time, Yoshi would follow my mother around and jump up
> >> > > into
> >> > > her lap wanting attention. *My mother has always spoiled her cats,
> >> > > and
> >> > > she treated Yoshi no differently.
>
> >> > > After we got her home, my daughter stayed with a friend of hers for
> >> > > about a month until school started back. *She took Yoshi with her..
> >> > > They had a small dog, and Yoshi seemed to get along well with it.
> >> > > But
> >> > > when my daughter moved back home, Yoshi's personality had changed
> >> > > dramatically. *When I went to put her in the carrier to come home,
> >> > > she
> >> > > fought me and scratched my arm up pretty good. *Now, when my daughter
> >> > > is home, Yoshi basically ignores me. *When my daughter is not here,
> >> > > Yoshi will come into the living room meowing at me, but runs when I
> >> > > try to touch her. *I tried ignoring her when she comes into the room
> >> > > until she starts rubbing up against my leg, but she still bolts when
> >> > > I
> >> > > reach down to pet her. *Now it's to the point where she stays in my
> >> > > daughter's room most of the time, only coming out to growl and hiss
> >> > > at
> >> > > me. *Any attempt by me to touch her results in her swatting and
> >> > > clawing at me, sometimes with some serious scratches and puncture
> >> > > wounds on my hands and arms. *Thankfully, the only things she hasn't
> >> > > been doing are biting and using the bathroom outside of her litter
> >> > > box. *When my daughter is holding Yoshi and she comes near me, Yoshi
> >> > > starts growling and clinging to my daughter as though I'm going to do
> >> > > her harm. *My daughter hasn't been completely spared from Yoshi's
> >> > > wrath, but she doesn't get near the reaction from Yoshi that I do.
>
> >> > > I've had cats for most of my life, and I've never had one act this
> >> > > way. *I don't know of anyone who has abused her, and don't know why
> >> > > she seems to hate me so much. *The only thing I can think of which
> >> > > may
> >> > > have set her off is when we had to take her to the vet soon after our
> >> > > trip because her spaying incision didn't appear to be healing
> >> > > properly. *She fought me ferociously as I took her out of the
> >> > > carrier,
> >> > > and the vet had to call in extra help to restrain her. *Once his
> >> > > assistants took over, I stepped back and let them do their job. *Once
> >> > > in a while, my daughter can lay Yoshi down next to me and she will
> >> > > stay as long as I scratch between her ears, but she does so very
> >> > > reluctantly, with ears back and her growling most of the time. *She
> >> > > then jumps up and runs within seconds after I stop scratching her.
> >> > > If
> >> > > I go into my daughter's room, Yoshi will hiss and growl at me while
> >> > > crouching down next to her litter box.
>
> >> > > Any ideas how I can reverse this odd behavior from Yoshi?
>
> >> > When you keep ripping your cat out of familiar environments and
> >> > leaving her at others' homes where there are other animals, how
> >> > do you expect her to behave? Cats are not objects, they have emotions
> >> > and minds, albeit little tiny one. lol
>
> >> > She needs stability, she is new to you, and look at what you have done
> >> > to her. Instead of providing a stable, loving home, you keep picking
> >> > her
> >> > up and taking her to stay with others. You have NO idea what happened
> >> > with the dog, other cat, or the people in those homes where you left
> >> > your
> >> > cat. Shame on you. Stop carrying Yoshi around like she's some kind
> >> > of accessory for your daughter and you will see a different cat, if you
> >> > have not completely ruined her by now.- Hide quoted text -
>
> >> > - Show quoted text -
>
> >> couldn't agree more! i am constantly amazed by these people who shift
> >> their cats around as though they were little dogs, cat are veru
> >> territorial and are more likely to attach to a place than a person. if
> >> yoshi had stayed at her proper home when your daughter went off to her
> >> friend's house then she would have had a more stable start in life and
> >> would probably not have missed your daughter too much you might have
> >> found, why on earth did you let your daughter take her to this
> >> friend's house where there was a dog anyway? what a bizarre thing to
> >> do anyway.
>
> >> also why on earth did you get a small young vat and then bugger off on
> >> a trip to florida and leave her with someone else? it may have been
> >> your mother but the cat doesn;t know that and was there any need to
> >> shift her out of the home and environment she was already trying to
> >> get used (and failing thanks to you) why on earth did you not just
> >> leave her at home and get someone to cat and house sit for you?
>
> > That is what the people in canada did when their cwas killed in a
> > microwave.
>
> aloon...
>
> go back and read again....there was NO house sitter there, it was the
> neighbor stopping in to take care of feeding the cat. *and must we keep
> bringing up that horrible event? *it's not that i want to forget it happened
> but all you're doing is upsetting many people over and over again *:(*- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

quite! i had someone actually living inthis house, actually it was my
old housemate who had been living in this house with me before he went
abroad and he stayed here for a the week during a return trip. he was
in most of the time and he is a big chap, quite capable of seeing off
any intruders.

if i was not going to be certain of my cats safety with this friend
who is very conscientious when it comes to cats i woudl not have gone
away as i said before.

bookie

bookie
January 13th 08, 02:28 AM
On 12 Jan, 11:27, Tim J. > wrote:
> On Fri, 11 Jan 2008 12:11:49 -0800 (PST), bookie
>
> > wrote:
> >On 11 Jan, 16:28, "cybercat" > wrote:
> >> "Tim J." > wrote in message
>
> ...
>
> >> > My daughter's cat, now 10 months old, has become almost unbearable.
> >> > When we first got Yoshi at 6 weeks, she was very loving. *Even after
> >> > her spaying a few weeks later, her personality was great. *Although
> >> > she's always been partial to my daughter, she used to jump up in my
> >> > lap to be petted. *We know the history of this cat since birth, as
> >> > well as her parents (and grandparents), and all were well treated.
>
> >> > The problems started not long after our trip to Florida during the
> >> > summer. *We left her at my mother's house. *She also has a female cat,
> >> > about 3 years old. *Yoshi came in and took charge, basically ejecting
> >> > my mother's cat from the house for the entire week we were gone.
> >> > During that time, Yoshi would follow my mother around and jump up into
> >> > her lap wanting attention. *My mother has always spoiled her cats, and
> >> > she treated Yoshi no differently.
>
> >> > After we got her home, my daughter stayed with a friend of hers for
> >> > about a month until school started back. *She took Yoshi with her.
> >> > They had a small dog, and Yoshi seemed to get along well with it. *But
> >> > when my daughter moved back home, Yoshi's personality had changed
> >> > dramatically. *When I went to put her in the carrier to come home, she
> >> > fought me and scratched my arm up pretty good. *Now, when my daughter
> >> > is home, Yoshi basically ignores me. *When my daughter is not here,
> >> > Yoshi will come into the living room meowing at me, but runs when I
> >> > try to touch her. *I tried ignoring her when she comes into the room
> >> > until she starts rubbing up against my leg, but she still bolts when I
> >> > reach down to pet her. *Now it's to the point where she stays in my
> >> > daughter's room most of the time, only coming out to growl and hiss at
> >> > me. *Any attempt by me to touch her results in her swatting and
> >> > clawing at me, sometimes with some serious scratches and puncture
> >> > wounds on my hands and arms. *Thankfully, the only things she hasn't
> >> > been doing are biting and using the bathroom outside of her litter
> >> > box. *When my daughter is holding Yoshi and she comes near me, Yoshi
> >> > starts growling and clinging to my daughter as though I'm going to do
> >> > her harm. *My daughter hasn't been completely spared from Yoshi's
> >> > wrath, but she doesn't get near the reaction from Yoshi that I do.
>
> >> > I've had cats for most of my life, and I've never had one act this
> >> > way. *I don't know of anyone who has abused her, and don't know why
> >> > she seems to hate me so much. *The only thing I can think of which may
> >> > have set her off is when we had to take her to the vet soon after our
> >> > trip because her spaying incision didn't appear to be healing
> >> > properly. *She fought me ferociously as I took her out of the carrier,
> >> > and the vet had to call in extra help to restrain her. *Once his
> >> > assistants took over, I stepped back and let them do their job. *Once
> >> > in a while, my daughter can lay Yoshi down next to me and she will
> >> > stay as long as I scratch between her ears, but she does so very
> >> > reluctantly, with ears back and her growling most of the time. *She
> >> > then jumps up and runs within seconds after I stop scratching her. *If
> >> > I go into my daughter's room, Yoshi will hiss and growl at me while
> >> > crouching down next to her litter box.
>
> >> > Any ideas how I can reverse this odd behavior from Yoshi?
>
> >> When you keep ripping your cat out of familiar environments and
> >> leaving her at others' homes where there are other animals, how
> >> do you expect her to behave? Cats are not objects, they have emotions
> >> and minds, albeit little tiny one. lol
>
> >> She needs stability, she is new to you, and look at what you have done
> >> to her. Instead of providing a stable, loving home, you keep picking her
> >> up and taking her to stay with others. You have NO idea what happened
> >> with the dog, other cat, or the people in those homes where you left your
> >> cat. Shame on you. Stop carrying Yoshi around like she's some kind
> >> of accessory for your daughter and you will see a different cat, if you
> >> have not completely ruined her by now.- Hide quoted text -
>
> >> - Show quoted text -
>
> >couldn't agree more! i am constantly amazed by these people who shift
> >their cats around as though they were little dogs, cat are veru
> >territorial and are more likely to attach to a place than a person. if
> >yoshi had stayed at her proper home when your daughter went off to her
> >friend's house then she would have had a more stable start in life and
> >would probably not have missed your daughter too much you might have
> >found, why on earth did you let your daughter take her to this
> >friend's house where there was a dog anyway? what a bizarre thing to
> >do anyway.
>
> >also why on earth did you get a small young vat and then bugger off on
> >a trip to florida and leave her with someone else? it may have been
> >your mother but the cat doesn;t know that and was there any need to
> >shift her out of the home and environment she was already trying to
> >get used (and failing thanks to you) why on earth did you not just
> >leave her at home and get someone to cat and house sit for you? or
> >better still not go away on your trip and have a holiday at home
> >getting ot know your new furry friend and help her to settle in
> >better. *If you had a new baby woudl you dump it with a relative and
> >sod off on holiday? no i doubt it, so why do it with a young and
> >impressionable cat?
>
> >i ahve recently had 2 trips away abroad but both times i have
> >organised these to be at times when my housemates will be here to feed
> >and pamper my furbabies so they suffer as little disruption as
> >possible to their routine. the one time there woudl have been none
> >here to look after my precious jasper (RB july 2005) cos we were all
> >away at the same time i got a good friend who knew jasper well to stay
> >inthe huose for a week as there was going to be no question of jasper
> >being uprooted and going to a cattery. As he had come form a rescue
> >centre after his previous mum died i think that putting him in a
> >cattery would have been the end of him and i was not goign to upset
> >him. If i coud not get anyone suitable to live in our house then i
> >would have cancelled my trip away, no question.
>
> >jasper's welfare, health and emotional well being were my
> >responsibiility just as yoshi's is yours and i have to say that i
> >think you let her down by shunting her about in her formative years
> >from pillar to post. i do not knwo really what you canb do knwo to
> >remedy matters but i hope you do not do this again to yoshi or to
> >another young cat who is depending on you to provide a stable home for
> >them.
>
> >i despair of some people, i really do
>
> >bookie
>
> I guess I can appreciate the comments, even if some of them are quite
> presumptive, and to be honest, a bit condescending.
>
> First, it wasn't like we just dumped her off at my mother's house
> without any preparation. *On our vet's advice, we took her over for
> several short visits so she could be around my mother and her cat
> without the stress of being without us. *Those visits went
> exceptionally well. *The arrangements were made for her to stay at my
> mother's house because my mother has some difficulty getting into and
> out of my property, due to reduced night vision, and her perceived
> inability to get her car in and out of my driveway. *In short, I was
> trying to accommodate someone who was doing us a favor. *And quite
> frankly, I wouldn't trust anyone else in my house while I'm gone. *We
> also felt it better that Yoshi be around someone 24/7 with whom she
> was familiar rather than to be left alone, save for short visits by
> someone to check in on her. * I trust you'll agree that was a far
> better option than boarding her at some kennel. *As for "buggering off
> on a trip to Florida", what's done is done. *It wasn't planned that
> way, but the opportunity came up, and with my health problems of late,
> I decided, upon doctor's advice, to take my first real vacation in
> over 14 years. *But that's not when her personality changed.
>
> Second, it was not my wish, desire, nor with my approval that my
> daughter so selfishly and thoughtlessly decided to "move out" for a
> month. *But in this state at her age, she is legally considered an
> adult, and I had very little say in the matter. *In fact, it was done
> without my prior knowledge. *I arrived home from running errands one
> day to a note saying she and Yoshi were staying with her friend until
> school started back. *I've already expressed my extreme displeasure
> over that situation many times with her, and I think I've impressed
> upon her the potential damage that has been done to Yoshi. *I doubt
> her mistake will be repeated.
>
> But even tonight, with my daughter not at home, Yoshi is being quite a
> bit more receptive to me. *She comes into the same room with me, and
> I've even had her chasing her red laser dot around the walls,
> something she seems to enjoy quite a bit. *She starts "complaining"
> when I stop. *And yes, I'm quite careful to make sure it isn't shined
> anywhere near her eyes. *She still grumbles when I pet her, but at
> least she tolerates it. *One thing I failed to mention previously is
> ever since the vet visit, she HATES being touched on her back near her
> tail. *Her biggest fight at the vet was while the vet took her rectal
> temperature, and it appears to me she's afraid any time anyone touches
> her "back there", because she thinks she's going to go through that
> again. *I keep going back to that vet visit because that's when I
> first noticed the personality change. *It occurred during my
> daughter's stay at her friend's house. *And her personality now is
> akin to how belligerent she was when she came home from being spayed,
> but that episode only lasted a day or so.
>
> So given the fact that Yoshi is now home to stay (she hasn't left this
> house in over 4 months now), I welcome any suggestions that might help
> her become re-acclamated to her home environment. *I just feel
> additional piling on of criticism at this point would be unproductive.

consult a cat behaviourist and don't post on sites like this if you
can't take a bit of grief

oh and don't leave your daughter (who obviously has little
consideration for any cats welfare when it might compromise her own
comfort) alone with the cat again

Tim J.
January 16th 08, 02:52 AM
On Sat, 12 Jan 2008 14:35:49 GMT, Outsider >
wrote:

>You need to give her much more time. She may never "come around" as much
>as you hope but you seem to understand how she might feel so you know it
>will take time for her to see you as a protector and a friend. She does
>sound like she is warming up if slowly.

Sometimes it seems to be a rather warm relationship, then she turns
cold almost instantly. One thing I've learned is, when my daughter is
gone for the weekends, she takes care of emptying Yoshi's litter box
and refilling her food and water bowls before leaving. I leave Yoshi
to wander as she pleases, but usually sometime late Saturday
afternoon, Yoshi will come into the living room with a certain meow
that I've learned to mean, "Hey you, my food bowl is empty!" I don't
go back there until Yoshi comes in and "asks" me to.

>I would also get a "fishing
>pole" type toy; the ones with a "prey" on a line that you dangle from a
>pole. That way she gets to catch it now and then.

Been there, done that. She tore up three of them in the first month,
then didn't care about them anymore. Next were the plastic and fabric
balls with the bells in them. We could throw them down the hall and
Yoshi would literally fetch them and bring them back to us. One thing
we caught her doing was stopping a little further from us each time
she retrieved them, sort of like she was expecting us to fetch for
her. When I'm sitting at the computer, I cannot keep getting up and
fetching for her, so I started ignoring her until she brought the
balls back within my easy reach. But once the laser came out, she
forgot completely about the balls.

>The red dot is great
>but they never get the fun of grabbing it and giving it a good thrashing.
>She will also associate it with you more than she might the laser dot.

Strangely, it seems she associates the laser with me, since I'm the
only one who uses it with her. She'll leave my daughter's room (with
my daughter in there) and comes and sits on the back of the couch and
does her "Play with me now!" meow. She's now doing that 10-12 times a
day. The laser is good for her in that it lets her get a good bit of
exercise, since she's not allowed outdoors. I can run her around the
living room 6 or 7 times at full speed before she starts tiring. Then
20 minutes later, she's wanting to chase the dot again. We've tried
to reintroduce the balls to her, but she's not interested. She still
won't let me pick her up, but I've just stopped trying until she shows
a little more warming to me.

Tim J.
January 16th 08, 02:54 AM
On Sat, 12 Jan 2008 18:28:19 -0800 (PST), bookie
> wrote:

>consult a cat behaviourist and don't post on sites like this if you
>can't take a bit of grief

Precisely my point. You obviously see your role as the disher of
grief.

>oh and don't leave your daughter (who obviously has little
>consideration for any cats welfare when it might compromise her own
>comfort) alone with the cat again

She's fine alone with her. The cat loves her to death, and I'm
certain she loves Yoshi, too. But thank you for your concerns.

IBen Getiner
January 16th 08, 05:14 AM
On Jan 11, 3:16�am, Tim J. > wrote:
> My daughter's cat, now 10 months old, has become almost unbearable.
> When we first got Yoshi at 6 weeks, she was very loving. �Even after
> her spaying a few weeks later, her personality was great. �Although
> she's always been partial to my daughter, she used to jump up in my
> lap to be petted. �We know the history of this cat since birth, as
> well as her parents (and grandparents), and all were well treated.
>
> The problems started not long after our trip to Florida during the
> summer. �We left her at my mother's house. �She also has a female cat,
> about 3 years old. �Yoshi came in and took charge, basically ejecting
> my mother's cat from the house for the entire week we were gone.
> During that time, Yoshi would follow my mother around and jump up into
> her lap wanting attention. �My mother has always spoiled her cats, and
> she treated Yoshi no differently.
>
> After we got her home, my daughter stayed with a friend of hers for
> about a month until school started back. �She took Yoshi with her.
> They had a small dog, and Yoshi seemed to get along well with it. �But
> when my daughter moved back home, Yoshi's personality had changed
> dramatically. �When I went to put her in the carrier to come home, she
> fought me and scratched my arm up pretty good. �Now, when my daughter
> is home, Yoshi basically ignores me. �When my daughter is not here,
> Yoshi will come into the living room meowing at me, but runs when I
> try to touch her. �I tried ignoring her when she comes into the room
> until she starts rubbing up against my leg, but she still bolts when I
> reach down to pet her. �Now it's to the point where she stays in my
> daughter's room most of the time, only coming out to growl and hiss at
> me. �Any attempt by me to touch her results in her swatting and
> clawing at me, sometimes with some serious scratches and puncture
> wounds on my hands and arms. �Thankfully, the only things she hasn't
> been doing are biting and using the bathroom outside of her litter
> box. �When my daughter is holding Yoshi and she comes near me, Yoshi
> starts growling and clinging to my daughter as though I'm going to do
> her harm. �My daughter hasn't been completely spared from Yoshi's
> wrath, but she doesn't get near the reaction from Yoshi that I do.
>
> I've had cats for most of my life, and I've never had one act this
> way. �I don't know of anyone who has abused her, and don't know why
> she seems to hate me so much. �The only thing I can think of which may
> have set her off is when we had to take her to the vet soon after our
> trip because her spaying incision didn't appear to be healing
> properly. �She fought me ferociously as I took her out of the carrier,
> and the vet had to call in extra help to restrain her. �Once his
> assistants took over, I stepped back and let them do their job. �Once
> in a while, my daughter can lay Yoshi down next to me and she will
> stay as long as I scratch between her ears, but she does so very
> reluctantly, with ears back and her growling most of the time. �She
> then jumps up and runs within seconds after I stop scratching her. �If
> I go into my daughter's room, Yoshi will hiss and growl at me while
> crouching down next to her litter box.
>
> Any ideas how I can reverse this odd behavior from Yoshi?

You had her spayed. That's the problem. You ripped out her ovaries...
The very things she needed to keep her hormones in balance. No wonder
she's going koo-koo. Did you ever stop to think that cats are mammals
just like people? And they will SUFFER just like people when their
private parts are tampered with? I'll bet you thought you were doing
the right thing, too. Didn't you? Just like you're listening to these
looney women in this group right now. You see... they too were
'spayed''. Most of them. And they can't have another orgasm for the
rest of their lives. Nor do they wish to get off their fat asses an
give one, either. And I'll bet that their husbands, those who are
still hanging in there, think they've gone nuts as well. And they
have. And from the very same cause.
So THINK the next time you feel like doing the 'stylish thing' .
Before you jump on the neuter and spay band-wagon. Before you ruin
another little life.


IBene Getiner

bookie
January 17th 08, 05:25 PM
On 16 Jan, 02:54, Tim J. > wrote:
> On Sat, 12 Jan 2008 18:28:19 -0800 (PST), bookie
>
> > wrote:
> >consult a cat behaviourist and don't post on sites like this if you
> >can't take a bit of grief
>
> Precisely my point. *You obviously see your role as the disher of
> grief.
>
> >oh and don't leave your daughter (who obviously has little
> >consideration for any cats welfare when it might compromise her own
> >comfort) alone with the cat again
>
> She's fine alone with her. *The cat loves her to death, and I'm
> certain she loves Yoshi, too. *But thank you for your concerns.

people onthis group will give advice but we generally lace with a good
sprinkle of grief and "i told you so" too for good measure, just to
ensure you don't dowhatever stupid thing it is you do again. Your vet
may be able to recommend a cat behaviourist if you ask.

also sometimes we hurt the ones we loves and dragging a cat about the
place just cos you say you love it may not be the best thing for the
cat, as we have seen here

cybercat
January 17th 08, 05:54 PM
"bookie" > wrote in message
...
On 16 Jan, 02:54, Tim J. > wrote:
> On Sat, 12 Jan 2008 18:28:19 -0800 (PST), bookie
>
> > wrote:
> >consult a cat behaviourist and don't post on sites like this if you
> >can't take a bit of grief
>
> Precisely my point. You obviously see your role as the disher of
> grief.
>
> >oh and don't leave your daughter (who obviously has little
> >consideration for any cats welfare when it might compromise her own
> >comfort) alone with the cat again
>
> She's fine alone with her. The cat loves her to death, and I'm
> certain she loves Yoshi, too. But thank you for your concerns.

people onthis group will give advice but we generally lace with a good
sprinkle of grief and "i told you so" too for good measure, just to
ensure you don't dowhatever stupid thing it is you do again. Your vet
may be able to recommend a cat behaviourist if you ask.

>also sometimes we hurt the ones we loves and dragging a >cat about the
>place just cos you say you love it may not be the best >thing for the
>cat, as we have seen here

Well said.

bookie
January 17th 08, 06:25 PM
On 17 Jan, 17:54, "cybercat" > wrote:
> "bookie" > wrote in message
>
> ...
> On 16 Jan, 02:54, Tim J. > wrote:
>
> > On Sat, 12 Jan 2008 18:28:19 -0800 (PST), bookie
>
> > > wrote:
> > >consult a cat behaviourist and don't post on sites like this if you
> > >can't take a bit of grief
>
> > Precisely my point. You obviously see your role as the disher of
> > grief.
>
> > >oh and don't leave your daughter (who obviously has little
> > >consideration for any cats welfare when it might compromise her own
> > >comfort) alone with the cat again
>
> > She's fine alone with her. The cat loves her to death, and I'm
> > certain she loves Yoshi, too. But thank you for your concerns.
>
> people onthis group will give advice but we generally lace with a good
> sprinkle of grief and "i told you so" too for good measure, just to
> ensure you don't dowhatever stupid thing it is you do again. Your vet
> may be able to recommend a cat behaviourist if you ask.
>
> >also sometimes we hurt the ones we loves and dragging a >cat about the
> >place just cos you say you love it may not be the best >thing for the
> >cat, as we have seen here
>
> Well said.

which bit?

cybercat
January 17th 08, 08:45 PM
"bookie" > wrote
>> Well said.
>
> which bit?

All of it, but particularly:

>> >also sometimes we hurt the ones we loves and dragging a >cat about the
>> >place just cos you say you love it may not be the best >thing for the
>> >cat, as we have seen here
>>