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View Full Version : Point-Counterpoint: Cats Are Better Than Dogs (from _The Onion_)


Noon Cat Nick
February 14th 08, 05:32 PM
http://www.theonion.com/content/point/cats_are_better_than_dogs

POINT
-----
Cats Are Better Than Dogs
BY ANITA KERWICKI

I've always been a fan of felines. As far as pets go, you can't beat
them! I have three myself, and I couldn't adore them more. I don't care
what you say, cats are clearly better than dogs. I can't even list all
the reasons here, so I'll just stick with my favorites.

First of all, cats are about a thousand times easier to care for. You
don't have to walk them or bathe them because they're smart enough to
figure out all that stuff on their own (unlike some other domestic
mammals I don't care to mention). Plus, they have the common courtesy to
do their business in the litter box, instead of all over your house and
yard. Just one of the many reasons cats rule and dogs - quite literally
- drool.

Second, cats have all sorts of personality! Take my cat Smarty for
instance. He's a total ham, always jumping from lap to lap when company
comes, with a look on his face like, "Hey, everybody! Pay attention."
And when they don't, boy does he get pouty! Then there's Boopie, who's
more chilled out and kind of does his own thing. I won't even get into
Meatball, because he'd kill me if I ever wrote about him!

In comparison, every dog I've ever met is exactly the same: dumb, hyper,
and obsessed with chasing tennis balls. It's like they're not even
trying. Now I know all those dog people are going to argue with me on
this and try to tell me all dogs are unique, but frankly, I just haven't
seen it. Maybe someday I'll meet a dog with one-tenth the personality
your average cat has in his left hind paw, but I highly doubt it.

Ever seen a cat eat its own poop?

Not to mention, cats are so much more independent than dogs. They can
disappear for hours, having their own little adventures, and then pop up
again just when you least expect it. It's like running into a long-lost
friend on the street, but in your house! Meanwhile, those big, dumb
slobbery dogs just plod around after you whether you want them to or
not. They can't do anything for themselves. Unless it's eating your shoes!

Nope. You'll never convince me that dogs are superior to cats in any
way. So just stop trying.

I could go on all day about how great cats are. They don't make noise,
their breath doesn't stink, and they're *adorable* as kittens - but I
don't think that's necessary. Anyone with sense can see that they're
simply the better pet, hands down. So, in conclusion, I would like to
say that, no matter how good dogs are at catching Frisbees and swimming,
they simply can't compete with the world's best furry companion. The
one, the only, the cat.

* * * * * * * * *

COUNTERPOINT
------------
Fine
BY DOMINIC MCMEEL

Sure, whatever.

mc
February 15th 08, 01:14 AM
I like dogs, I do... But I would rather have a cat :-)

LOL :-)

Thanks :-)

Phil P.
February 15th 08, 06:16 PM
"mc" > wrote in message
...
> I like dogs, I do... But I would rather have a cat :-)
>
> LOL :-)
>
> Thanks :-)

Just remember- Dogs have masters- but cats have staff!

Phil

dgk
February 15th 08, 08:57 PM
On Thu, 14 Feb 2008 17:32:05 GMT, Noon Cat Nick
> wrote:

>http://www.theonion.com/content/point/cats_are_better_than_dogs
>
>POINT
>-----
>Cats Are Better Than Dogs
>BY ANITA KERWICKI
>
>I've always been a fan of felines. As far as pets go, you can't beat
>them! I have three myself, and I couldn't adore them more. I don't care
>what you say, cats are clearly better than dogs. I can't even list all
>the reasons here, so I'll just stick with my favorites.
>
....

I sort of like dogs but they are so annoying. Every time I go to my
cousin's house I get attacked by their, well, dog. It's a little one
but hyperactive. I think the thyroid should be removed. Now she is
cute and has adoring eyes, but I think she would adore a hamster if it
would play with her.

We go through the ball throwing (nothing like picking up a tennis ball
covered with drool) routine, followed by the "try to get the drool
covered ball out of my mouth" routine.

I come home and my cats look at me, and clearly they're thinking, "I
know this guy, he gives us food. I think I'll sniff him to see if that
dog drooled on him". Then they calmly lead me to the cat food for some
dinner.