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View Full Version : My new kitten hates me


Paul M. Cook[_2_]
October 1st 08, 06:12 AM
About 10 days ago a skinny little tabby kitten came running up to me like he
knew me his whole life (8 months or so). He wanted to be friends so I took
him in and he took to my place very quickly. My other 3 cats were pretty
cool with it though my 2 year old female cat put him in his place often. He
seemed to take it as well as could be expected.

So last Saturday my big adult male cat Jack got all worked up seeing a stray
cat in the yard. He huffed and puffed trying to push through the window
glass then assaulted the youngster and beat him up pretty badly. Tonight I
called the vet because he was not coming around. He is depressed. He
doesn't want to socialize or play - not even the squeaky mouse toy which he
could hardly put down before this happened. They found a small abscess and
drained it and treated him for ear mites. Also took blood for his tests.
But now his personality is completely gone and has been for 3 days now.

Well things have gone from bad to worse. He wants nothing to do with me and
tosses a fit when I try to pet him. He growls and hisses fiercely at me
when I pick him up. He truly hates me. He is seeing me as a threat and an
enemy. He took the vet visit fairly well, though. They had no trouble
handling him and he was quiet the whole time. But now here at home, he
wants nothing to do with me at all. I just gave him his Amoxy drops and he
tolerated it but the howling and hissing was breaking my heart.

I suppose he must be a sensitive little guy. He is not as resilient as most
other cats I have known and kept. Is there hope for a reconciliation? Do
these things become permanent and they hate you for life? He just is so
depressed and miserable and now so am I. For now he has a comfy room all to
himself with food and a litterbox and soft places to sleep. I've just never
known them to be this way for this long, a few hours sure, but not 3 days.
Granted we have not bonded and he's only been with me for less than 2 weeks.

Thanks.

cybercat
October 1st 08, 06:40 AM
"Paul M. Cook" > wrote

>For now he has a comfy room all to himself with food and a litterbox and
>soft places to sleep. I've just never known them to be this way for this
>long, a few hours sure, but not 3 days. Granted we have not bonded and he's
>only been with me for less than 2 weeks.
>
I imagine this hurts, but give it some time. The baby will settle down.

Rene S.
October 1st 08, 02:03 PM
First of all, kudos to you for taking in this baby. Think of all he's
been through in his short life--probably a lot. He's just had a
traumatic experience and needs time to recover. Give him lots of love
and attention and he will come around. If he doesn't like you to touch
him, talk to him softly and play with him. Get a couple of Feliway
diffusers and plug one in his room and the other where Jack is to ease
the tension. You can also play talk radio softly in the room while
you're away.

Keep reaching out. He'll come around.

barb
October 1st 08, 02:37 PM
That's so sad! I've had cats where if they spotted another cat out the
window or any place they'd go berserk and end up attacking each other. It
could be days before they would come around and be themselves. I couldn't
go near them when they were in these moods. They do come around after a
while.

Barb

Phil P.
October 1st 08, 06:13 PM
"Paul M. Cook" > wrote in message
...
> About 10 days ago a skinny little tabby kitten came running up to me like
he
> knew me his whole life (8 months or so). He wanted to be friends so I
took
> him in and he took to my place very quickly. My other 3 cats were pretty
> cool with it though my 2 year old female cat put him in his place often.
He
> seemed to take it as well as could be expected.
>
> So last Saturday my big adult male cat Jack got all worked up seeing a
stray
> cat in the yard. He huffed and puffed trying to push through the window
> glass then assaulted the youngster and beat him up pretty badly.


That's called redirected aggression. It happens when a cat gets worked up
from seeing another cat that he can't get at- so he attacks a cat or even
human that is close to him.


Tonight I
> called the vet because he was not coming around. He is depressed. He
> doesn't want to socialize or play - not even the squeaky mouse toy which
he
> could hardly put down before this happened.


That's not unusual after an attack- especially if the attack was traumatic
for the victim. There's also a possibility the victim will develop a fear of
the attacker and become defensively aggressive towards him whenever he sees
him. So, be on the lookout for future fights and try to head them off before
they start. If you see a fight brewing, don't try to touch either cat.
Instead, try to break their concentration with a loud noise. If you
absolutely must separate them, use blanket or towel. In this state of
arousal, either cat can inflict serious injuries to each other and you.
Remember, if one of them bites you and the wound requires medical attention,
the doctor or hospital is required by law report the incident to the health
department. If you don't don't have current rabies certificates, the cat
could (probably) be quarantined- usually in the municipal or county shelter
for 10 days. Whenever I get bit, I always say the cat was a stray I never
saw before or after.


They found a small abscess and
> drained it and treated him for ear mites. Also took blood for his tests.
> But now his personality is completely gone and has been for 3 days now.
>
> Well things have gone from bad to worse. He wants nothing to do with me
and
> tosses a fit when I try to pet him. He growls and hisses fiercely at me
> when I pick him up. He truly hates me. He is seeing me as a threat and
an
> enemy. He took the vet visit fairly well, though. They had no trouble
> handling him and he was quiet the whole time. But now here at home, he
> wants nothing to do with me at all. I just gave him his Amoxy drops and
he
> tolerated it but the howling and hissing was breaking my heart.
>
> I suppose he must be a sensitive little guy. He is not as resilient as
most
> other cats I have known and kept. Is there hope for a reconciliation? Do
> these things become permanent and they hate you for life? He just is so
> depressed and miserable and now so am I. For now he has a comfy room all
to
> himself with food and a litterbox and soft places to sleep. I've just
never
> known them to be this way for this long, a few hours sure, but not 3 days.
> Granted we have not bonded and he's only been with me for less than 2
weeks.

Give him some time. Don't force yourself on him or try to pet or hold him
for awhile. When you go into feed him, just hang out with him for awhile.
Sit or lie down on the floor and read a book or take a nap or something.
Just don't make any moves towards him. Don't stare at him or make direct
eye contact for more a second or two. When you look at him, take long blinks
and turn your head away. Give him a lot of treats. He'll come around when
he ready.

How's the situation between him and the attacker?

Phil

Cheryl
October 2nd 08, 03:22 AM
"Paul M. Cook" > wrote in message
...
>
> I suppose he must be a sensitive little guy. He is not as resilient as
> most other cats I have known and kept. Is there hope for a
> reconciliation? Do these things become permanent and they hate you for
> life? He just is so depressed and miserable and now so am I.

He detects your misery. Animals don't think in terms of permanent. They
live in the now. They also pick up on your emotions. Just give him his
space and do things to get him interested in you. Like sitting on the floor
and ignoring him. Or toss a few toys sort of nonchalantly. He'll come
around.

Paul M. Cook[_2_]
October 2nd 08, 07:46 AM
"Phil P." > wrote in message
...
>
> "Paul M. Cook" > wrote in message
> ...
>> About 10 days ago a skinny little tabby kitten came running up to me like
> he
>> knew me his whole life (8 months or so). He wanted to be friends so I
> took
>> him in and he took to my place very quickly. My other 3 cats were pretty
>> cool with it though my 2 year old female cat put him in his place often.
> He
>> seemed to take it as well as could be expected.
>>
>> So last Saturday my big adult male cat Jack got all worked up seeing a
> stray
>> cat in the yard. He huffed and puffed trying to push through the window
>> glass then assaulted the youngster and beat him up pretty badly.
>
>
> That's called redirected aggression. It happens when a cat gets worked up
> from seeing another cat that he can't get at- so he attacks a cat or even
> human that is close to him.
>
>
> Tonight I
>> called the vet because he was not coming around. He is depressed. He
>> doesn't want to socialize or play - not even the squeaky mouse toy which
> he
>> could hardly put down before this happened.
>
>
> That's not unusual after an attack- especially if the attack was traumatic
> for the victim. There's also a possibility the victim will develop a fear
> of
> the attacker and become defensively aggressive towards him whenever he
> sees
> him. So, be on the lookout for future fights and try to head them off
> before
> they start. If you see a fight brewing, don't try to touch either cat.
> Instead, try to break their concentration with a loud noise. If you
> absolutely must separate them, use blanket or towel. In this state of
> arousal, either cat can inflict serious injuries to each other and you.
> Remember, if one of them bites you and the wound requires medical
> attention,
> the doctor or hospital is required by law report the incident to the
> health
> department. If you don't don't have current rabies certificates, the cat
> could (probably) be quarantined- usually in the municipal or county
> shelter
> for 10 days. Whenever I get bit, I always say the cat was a stray I never
> saw before or after.
>
>
> They found a small abscess and
>> drained it and treated him for ear mites. Also took blood for his tests.
>> But now his personality is completely gone and has been for 3 days now.
>>
>> Well things have gone from bad to worse. He wants nothing to do with me
> and
>> tosses a fit when I try to pet him. He growls and hisses fiercely at me
>> when I pick him up. He truly hates me. He is seeing me as a threat and
> an
>> enemy. He took the vet visit fairly well, though. They had no trouble
>> handling him and he was quiet the whole time. But now here at home, he
>> wants nothing to do with me at all. I just gave him his Amoxy drops and
> he
>> tolerated it but the howling and hissing was breaking my heart.
>>
>> I suppose he must be a sensitive little guy. He is not as resilient as
> most
>> other cats I have known and kept. Is there hope for a reconciliation?
>> Do
>> these things become permanent and they hate you for life? He just is so
>> depressed and miserable and now so am I. For now he has a comfy room all
> to
>> himself with food and a litterbox and soft places to sleep. I've just
> never
>> known them to be this way for this long, a few hours sure, but not 3
>> days.
>> Granted we have not bonded and he's only been with me for less than 2
> weeks.
>
> Give him some time. Don't force yourself on him or try to pet or hold him
> for awhile. When you go into feed him, just hang out with him for awhile.
> Sit or lie down on the floor and read a book or take a nap or something.
> Just don't make any moves towards him. Don't stare at him or make direct
> eye contact for more a second or two. When you look at him, take long
> blinks
> and turn your head away. Give him a lot of treats. He'll come around when
> he ready.
>
> How's the situation between him and the attacker?

Jack is a really good cat, but he does have this thing about redirected
aggression. He is cool with the little guy and gives him no other trouble.
Salvador, the kitten, is pretty scared of him. He recognizes his aggressor.

We're doing better tonight. He is slowly coming around. His personality is
showing signs of coming back. He's not his exuberant and joyful self yet,
but this is good progress. I guess I have a sensitive kitty on my hands.
I'll just have to be very careful to supervise them for the time being. For
now, Sal goes in the bedroom when I have to go out. He doesn't seem to
mind, in fact I think he likes the feeling of safety. I'm thinking that
abscess must have hurt a lot so now that it's on the mend perhaps his
spirits will improve and surely getting rid of those ear mites is bound to
be helping. At least he's easy to get the medicine into.

He's being more social tonight. No play but he's here with me watching TV
and keeping a cautious eye on the others.

Paul

>
> Phil
>
>

cybercat
October 2nd 08, 04:45 PM
"Paul M. Cook" > wrote
> He's being more social tonight. No play but he's here with me watching TV
> and keeping a cautious eye on the others.
>
Yay, Salvadore!

Rene S.
October 2nd 08, 05:21 PM
> We're doing better tonight. *He is slowly coming around. *His personality is
> showing signs of coming back. *He's not his exuberant and joyful self yet,
> but this is good progress. *I guess I have a sensitive kitty on my hands.
> I'll just have to be very careful to supervise them for the time being. *For
> now, Sal goes in the bedroom when I have to go out. *He doesn't seem to
> mind, in fact I think he likes the feeling of safety. *I'm thinking that
> abscess must have hurt a lot so now that it's on the mend perhaps his
> spirits will improve and surely getting rid of those ear mites is bound to
> be helping. *At least he's easy to get the medicine into.

Hooray!

I think it's a good idea to keep them separated when you're away. Take
it slow with re-introducing to the other cats, and don't force
anything.

barb
October 3rd 08, 02:46 PM
Glad he's coming around!

Barb

Phil P.
October 3rd 08, 03:18 PM
"Paul M. Cook" > wrote in message
...
>
> "Phil P." > wrote in message
> ...
> >
> > "Paul M. Cook" > wrote in message
> > ...
> >> About 10 days ago a skinny little tabby kitten came running up to me
like
> > he
> >> knew me his whole life (8 months or so). He wanted to be friends so I
> > took
> >> him in and he took to my place very quickly. My other 3 cats were
pretty
> >> cool with it though my 2 year old female cat put him in his place
often.
> > He
> >> seemed to take it as well as could be expected.
> >>
> >> So last Saturday my big adult male cat Jack got all worked up seeing a
> > stray
> >> cat in the yard. He huffed and puffed trying to push through the
window
> >> glass then assaulted the youngster and beat him up pretty badly.
> >
> >
> > That's called redirected aggression. It happens when a cat gets worked
up
> > from seeing another cat that he can't get at- so he attacks a cat or
even
> > human that is close to him.
> >
> >
> > Tonight I
> >> called the vet because he was not coming around. He is depressed. He
> >> doesn't want to socialize or play - not even the squeaky mouse toy
which
> > he
> >> could hardly put down before this happened.
> >
> >
> > That's not unusual after an attack- especially if the attack was
traumatic
> > for the victim. There's also a possibility the victim will develop a
fear
> > of
> > the attacker and become defensively aggressive towards him whenever he
> > sees
> > him. So, be on the lookout for future fights and try to head them off
> > before
> > they start. If you see a fight brewing, don't try to touch either cat.
> > Instead, try to break their concentration with a loud noise. If you
> > absolutely must separate them, use blanket or towel. In this state of
> > arousal, either cat can inflict serious injuries to each other and you.

> > Remember, if one of them bites you and the wound requires medical
> > attention,
> > the doctor or hospital is required by law report the incident to the
> > health
> > department. If you don't don't have current rabies certificates, the cat
> > could (probably) be quarantined- usually in the municipal or county
> > shelter
> > for 10 days. Whenever I get bit, I always say the cat was a stray I
never
> > saw before or after.
> >
> >
> > They found a small abscess and
> >> drained it and treated him for ear mites. Also took blood for his
tests.
> >> But now his personality is completely gone and has been for 3 days now.
> >>
> >> Well things have gone from bad to worse. He wants nothing to do with
me
> > and
> >> tosses a fit when I try to pet him. He growls and hisses fiercely at
me
> >> when I pick him up. He truly hates me. He is seeing me as a threat
and
> > an
> >> enemy. He took the vet visit fairly well, though. They had no trouble
> >> handling him and he was quiet the whole time. But now here at home, he
> >> wants nothing to do with me at all. I just gave him his Amoxy drops
and
> > he
> >> tolerated it but the howling and hissing was breaking my heart.
> >>
> >> I suppose he must be a sensitive little guy. He is not as resilient as
> > most
> >> other cats I have known and kept. Is there hope for a reconciliation?
> >> Do
> >> these things become permanent and they hate you for life? He just is
so
> >> depressed and miserable and now so am I. For now he has a comfy room
all
> > to
> >> himself with food and a litterbox and soft places to sleep. I've just
> > never
> >> known them to be this way for this long, a few hours sure, but not 3
> >> days.
> >> Granted we have not bonded and he's only been with me for less than 2
> > weeks.
> >
> > Give him some time. Don't force yourself on him or try to pet or hold
him
> > for awhile. When you go into feed him, just hang out with him for
awhile.
> > Sit or lie down on the floor and read a book or take a nap or something.
> > Just don't make any moves towards him. Don't stare at him or make
direct
> > eye contact for more a second or two. When you look at him, take long
> > blinks
> > and turn your head away. Give him a lot of treats. He'll come around
when
> > he ready.
> >
> > How's the situation between him and the attacker?
>
> Jack is a really good cat, but he does have this thing about redirected
> aggression. He is cool with the little guy and gives him no other
trouble.
> Salvador, the kitten, is pretty scared of him. He recognizes his
aggressor.
>
> We're doing better tonight. He is slowly coming around. His personality
is
> showing signs of coming back. He's not his exuberant and joyful self yet,
> but this is good progress. I guess I have a sensitive kitty on my hands.
> I'll just have to be very careful to supervise them for the time being.
For
> now, Sal goes in the bedroom when I have to go out. He doesn't seem to
> mind, in fact I think he likes the feeling of safety. I'm thinking that
> abscess must have hurt a lot so now that it's on the mend perhaps his
> spirits will improve and surely getting rid of those ear mites is bound to
> be helping. At least he's easy to get the medicine into.
>
> He's being more social tonight. No play but he's here with me watching TV
> and keeping a cautious eye on the others.
>
> Paul


Sounds like he's on the road to a full recovery. I'm glad you're
supervising them when they're together.

Good luck,

Phil

Paul M. Cook[_2_]
October 9th 08, 10:35 PM
It took a full week but he finally came out of his shell. He is now back to
his old self. I do feel sorry for him because the female, Noel, is not very
happy with him. She seems to want to shove him around when she can. Just
today I heard a loud growl then a brief tussle and Noel came running inside
with her fur all puffed up. Then Sal came inside looking scared. She
doesn't so much attack him as she bullies him. If he growls at her she
can't resist the urge to smack him. He seems to handle it OK but still he
looks kind of depressed afterwards. Then he gets the urge to give it back
to her and if she say walks near him he will give her a soft paw smack. So
he hasn't learned to avoid her.

Is there hope that eventually they'll get along? He's young but I can tell
from his paws he will be a large cat when he grows up. Perhaps she will be
less bullying when he is bigger and more capable of defending himself? Noel
is a surprisingly rugged and strong cat. She's built like a tank and is
quite independent. I just fear she may go overboard someday. I know they
are cats and this must all be part of their existence but I still hold out
hope they'll get along better some day.

Paul