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bertoiaj
January 28th 09, 03:38 AM
I have a unique problem. I was given a 5 year old neutered female cat
from a relative who got remarried and his wife is allergic to cats.
He warned me that she was very timid (she used to be feral but did
move into his house and he did befriend her.) I already have a
cat...another female three years old. It was thought that the two
girls would become friends an keep each other company....but since I
got the new cat in late December she has been living in a spare room
under a bed....she eats and uses the litter box, but whenever I enter
the room she is hidden under the bed. I have gotten her out a number
of times and she purrs and does like to be petted and brushed, but the
moment I let go of her she hides under the bed. So, it does not
look like the two girls are going to be making friends soon...I did
have them in the same room together the other night...my cat was not
pleased...and hissed and growled. The new cat just hid under a
coffee table. ( I live alone and work until 5 each day,so I have
limited time to spend with the cats.

So I am at a loss....I want the new cat to have a better quality of
life than hiding under the bed 24/7.....any advice?
Recommendations?

honeybunch
January 28th 09, 04:17 AM
On Jan 27, 9:38*pm, bertoiaj > wrote:
> I have a unique problem. *I was given a 5 year old neutered female cat
> from a relative who got remarried and his wife is allergic to cats.
> He warned me that she was very timid (she used to be feral but did
> move into his house and he did befriend her.) * * I already have a
> cat...another female three years old. *It was thought that the two
> girls would become friends an keep each other company....but since I
> got the new cat in late December she has been living in a spare room
> under a bed....she eats and uses the litter box, but whenever I enter
> the room she is hidden under the bed. *I have gotten her out a number
> of times and she purrs and does like to be petted and brushed, but the
> moment I let go of her she hides under the bed. * * * *So, it does not
> look like the two girls are going to be making friends soon...I did
> have them in the same room together the other night...my cat was not
> pleased...and hissed and growled. * The new cat just hid under a
> coffee table. * ( I live alone and work until 5 each day,so I have
> limited time to spend with the cats.
>
> So I am at a loss....I want the new cat to have a better quality of
> life than hiding under the bed 24/7.....any advice?
> Recommendations?

I suggest you move into the spare room.

Gandalf
January 28th 09, 07:16 AM
On Tue, 27 Jan 2009 19:17:19 -0800 (PST), honeybunch
> wrote:

>On Jan 27, 9:38*pm, bertoiaj > wrote:
>> I have a unique problem. *I was given a 5 year old neutered female cat
>> from a relative who got remarried and his wife is allergic to cats.
>> He warned me that she was very timid (she used to be feral but did
>> move into his house and he did befriend her.) * * I already have a
>> cat...another female three years old. *It was thought that the two
>> girls would become friends an keep each other company....but since I
>> got the new cat in late December she has been living in a spare room
>> under a bed....she eats and uses the litter box, but whenever I enter
>> the room she is hidden under the bed. *I have gotten her out a number
>> of times and she purrs and does like to be petted and brushed, but the
>> moment I let go of her she hides under the bed. * * * *So, it does not
>> look like the two girls are going to be making friends soon...I did
>> have them in the same room together the other night...my cat was not
>> pleased...and hissed and growled. * The new cat just hid under a
>> coffee table. * ( I live alone and work until 5 each day,so I have
>> limited time to spend with the cats.
>>
>> So I am at a loss....I want the new cat to have a better quality of
>> life than hiding under the bed 24/7.....any advice?
>> Recommendations?
>
>I suggest you move into the spare room.

I would go one step further, and move the cat into your bedroom.

Remember to keep her food and water dishes as far from the litter box as
possible.

She may get more used to you, while you are sleeping, and are not a
threat of any kind to her.

Someday, you may wake up and find her on the bed with you.

January 28th 09, 12:44 PM
On Jan 27, 9:38*pm, bertoiaj > wrote:
> I have a unique problem. *I was given a 5 year old neutered female cat
> from a relative who got remarried and his wife is allergic to cats.
> He warned me that she was very timid (she used to be feral but did
> move into his house and he did befriend her.) * * I already have a
> cat...another female three years old. *It was thought that the two
> girls would become friends an keep each other company....but since I
> got the new cat in late December she has been living in a spare room
> under a bed....she eats and uses the litter box, but whenever I enter
> the room she is hidden under the bed. *I have gotten her out a number
> of times and she purrs and does like to be petted and brushed, but the
> moment I let go of her she hides under the bed. * * * *So, it does not
> look like the two girls are going to be making friends soon...I did
> have them in the same room together the other night...my cat was not
> pleased...and hissed and growled. * The new cat just hid under a
> coffee table. * ( I live alone and work until 5 each day,so I have
> limited time to spend with the cats.
>
> So I am at a loss....I want the new cat to have a better quality of
> life than hiding under the bed 24/7.....any advice?
> Recommendations?

I had a feral cat that lived with me for three months unseen - perfect
litter habits, ate like a trooper but only when no one was home.

Then, one night, there was a cold nose in my face and very, very loud
purrs. From that moment he was one of the most affectionate cats I
have ever had. That was 30 years ago but he will be long-remembered.

Peter Wieck
Melrose Park, PA

Poe
January 28th 09, 04:36 PM
bertoiaj wrote:
> I have a unique problem. I was given a 5 year old neutered female cat
> from a relative who got remarried and his wife is allergic to cats.
> He warned me that she was very timid (she used to be feral but did
> move into his house and he did befriend her.) I already have a
> cat...another female three years old. It was thought that the two
> girls would become friends an keep each other company....but since I
> got the new cat in late December she has been living in a spare room
> under a bed....she eats and uses the litter box, but whenever I enter
> the room she is hidden under the bed. I have gotten her out a number
> of times and she purrs and does like to be petted and brushed, but the
> moment I let go of her she hides under the bed. So, it does not
> look like the two girls are going to be making friends soon...I did
> have them in the same room together the other night...my cat was not
> pleased...and hissed and growled. The new cat just hid under a
> coffee table. ( I live alone and work until 5 each day,so I have
> limited time to spend with the cats.
>
> So I am at a loss....I want the new cat to have a better quality of
> life than hiding under the bed 24/7.....any advice?
> Recommendations?


This takes patience. I worked at a shelter and adopted a scared cat from
there who lived under a blanket all day every day like that for months.
I gradually got her to come out of her shell but it's a gradual process.

You might try using catnip to get her to come out from under the bed, or
some really yummy stinky food like tuna will draw her out for a bit - or
maybe carry her around the house in your arms so she gets used to going
out of the bedroom. Maybe carry her into your room and place her on the
bed to be petted and brushed, even if after you let go she runs back,
she'll start getting familiar with other places.

I'd just keep at it but don't expect miracles. I am not a cat behavior
expert, but I am not sure I'd shut her out of the spare room entirely,
at least not for any length of time. It sounds like she feels safe
there. December isn't very long ago - the process of drawing a timid cat
out of its shell can take years based on what I've seen, and the process
is gradual. I wouldn't force the cats to be together. Cats will do that
in their own time, or not. I have had cats live their entire lives
hating each other's guts :-/ On the up-side, I think they secretly enjoy
starling at each other and copping attitudes!

Poe
January 28th 09, 04:40 PM
Poe wrote:

> starling at each other and copping attitudes!
>


Err.. I meant "snarling" at each other. I think they'd like starling
too, though, for a snack ;-)

Spot[_2_]
January 28th 09, 05:00 PM
I had a shy cat years ago that was very aloof with my other two, didn't like
petted and hid anytime anyone came by. I had to moved and gave her to my
sister and her personality came out. She went from being shy to being a
pushy loving cat. She did so much better by herself as a lone cat in the
household. Maybe she should be in a one cat household. I would look to
rehome her in a home with maybe an elderly couple.

Celeste



--
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"bertoiaj" > wrote in message
...
>I have a unique problem. I was given a 5 year old neutered female cat
> from a relative who got remarried and his wife is allergic to cats.
> He warned me that she was very timid (she used to be feral but did
> move into his house and he did befriend her.) I already have a
> cat...another female three years old. It was thought that the two
> girls would become friends an keep each other company....but since I
> got the new cat in late December she has been living in a spare room
> under a bed....she eats and uses the litter box, but whenever I enter
> the room she is hidden under the bed. I have gotten her out a number
> of times and she purrs and does like to be petted and brushed, but the
> moment I let go of her she hides under the bed. So, it does not
> look like the two girls are going to be making friends soon...I did
> have them in the same room together the other night...my cat was not
> pleased...and hissed and growled. The new cat just hid under a
> coffee table. ( I live alone and work until 5 each day,so I have
> limited time to spend with the cats.
>
> So I am at a loss....I want the new cat to have a better quality of
> life than hiding under the bed 24/7.....any advice?
> Recommendations?

Rene S.
January 28th 09, 08:18 PM
*It was thought that the two
> girls would become friends an keep each other company....but since I
> got the new cat in late December she has been living in a spare room
> under a bed....she eats and uses the litter box, but whenever I enter
> the room she is hidden under the bed. *

I have a friend who is very experienced (and successful) at
socializing scared/feral cats. I ran this scenario by her. Her advice
is to a) Take the bed off the frame, so the cat doesn't have an
inaccessable place to hide. b) get the cat an alternative space, such
as a box turned on its side with the flap down with some towels
inside. The cat will still have a safe place to hide but you will have
easier access to her. c) NEVER leave food out. Feed this cat a canned
diet on a 12 hour schedule. Right now, this cat really doesn't need
you for anything. It has a place to hide, access to food at all times,
and has no reason to come out and interact with you. You'd be amazed
how quickly cats can come around once they realize you equal a good
meal. d) Make a point of spending time in the room in a non-
threatening way, such as reading, watching tv, softly talking to her,
etc. so the cat learns that your presence is not a threat. e) Leave a
radio on softly with a classical music station. f) Patience. Some of
these cats can take months, sometimes even a year, to make good
progress. There is no rush. Take it slowly.

Richard Evans
January 28th 09, 10:07 PM
"Rene S." > wrote:

> *It was thought that the two
>> girls would become friends an keep each other company....but since I
>> got the new cat in late December she has been living in a spare room
>> under a bed....she eats and uses the litter box, but whenever I enter
>> the room she is hidden under the bed. *
>
>I have a friend who is very experienced (and successful) at
>socializing scared/feral cats. I ran this scenario by her. Her advice
>is to a) Take the bed off the frame, so the cat doesn't have an
>inaccessable place to hide. b) get the cat an alternative space, such
>as a box turned on its side with the flap down with some towels
>inside. The cat will still have a safe place to hide but you will have
>easier access to her. c) NEVER leave food out. Feed this cat a canned
>diet on a 12 hour schedule.


In addition, stay in the room while she comes out to eat. Keep
whatever distance she's comfortable with. As days go by, move closer
to her as she eats. Eventually, you want to end up with her eating
from the food bowl in your lap.

cshenk
January 28th 09, 11:26 PM
"bertoiaj" wrote

> cat...another female three years old. It was thought that the two
> girls would become friends an keep each other company....but since I

Not so fast, especially if she or your other cat are 'only cats'. That
means one who prefers to be the only cat in the house. My adoptive cat
Daisy is like that and we knew it in advance from the shelter when we picked
her.

Daisy will tolerate another cat at a distance, but thats it. Weirdly, she
bonds to dogs so I got a cat and dog, sleeping in sin together.

> got the new cat in late December she has been living in a spare room
> under a bed....she eats and uses the litter box, but whenever I enter
> the room she is hidden under the bed. I have gotten her out a number
> of times and she purrs and does like to be petted and brushed, but the
> moment I let go of her she hides under the bed. So, it does not

Give her time. This can take at least 3 months. That she comes out for
you, is a good sign.

Daisy was a no-see'um cat for 3 weeks. Then, she came out one night to paw
my lap. Next night, we saw her playing with the dog but she ran when we
came in for another month.

A year later, she bitches at me if I don't go to bed when she wants me to be
there to make the bed warmer. Huffs off and curls up with the dog....

I agree that you've given her little need to walk out as of yet, but I see
no need to rush it by dismantling 'her hidy hole'. I also don't see picking
her up and walking around with her, unless she tolerates that well. Daisy
still can not be picked up. If your new lady does tolerate that, then it's
fine to do so.

> have them in the same room together the other night...my cat was not
> pleased...and hissed and growled. The new cat just hid under a
> coffee table. ( I live alone and work until 5 each day,so I have
> limited time to spend with the cats.

Let them work it out without forcing it. It seems to me you have a
'dominance issue' which is not abnormal. The new cat hiding this long means
'uncle' or 'I give' but the pre-existing one will occasionally remind the
new one 'I'm Boss Cat'.

> So I am at a loss....I want the new cat to have a better quality of
> life than hiding under the bed 24/7.....any advice?

Time. It was just December you say and this is just late Jan.

When we got Daisy, the foster folks and the adoption agency both said 'you
will not find this cat for 2 months at least and may be longer'.

It did take 3 weeks but after that it was pretty straight forward.

Lets look at it from another view. If you'd been left loose to fend for
yourself in the wild, then found a home, then moved, you might be a bit
hesitant at the start too.

I do agree to start a wet treat twice a day. You have to do this for *both*
of thm though and best not in the same room just yet. Another mentions you
dry feed (I must be blind as not seeing that) so I'll digress on how to
shift that with 2 kitties.

The dominant one will steal the food of the other one, especially at the
start and definately if she can eat it all. You probably should start that
with a closed door between the two then slowly you can shift to feeding them
at opposite corners of the same room but it's gona be a long time before you
can use a 2 feeder bowl for both and it's actually not smart to push that at
all (memories of 2 cats who liked that but most want their *own* dish).

You'd make the first feeding before you go to work. This can be pretty
quick if you need to. Second one after you get home with more petting time
allowed based on your schedule.

Free feeding may be ok, but I'd opt for one free feed bowl between both of
them, and separate water and wet feed. I just know it worked when i
integrated new cats.

BTW, dominance interactions can be interesting if you don't let it get out
of hand. Daisy and Cash have their wet morning and night, and a lunch nosh
of broth with a bit of meat. Same room but she's up high. Reason is he'll
eat her food if he can, but he's more apt to have leftovers and she'll jump
down, push him from his bowl, and grab a kibble (he gets kibble and wet
mixed). This can be pretty amusing when the 'Boss 4foot' is all of 9 lbs
and the 'underling Dog' is a mixed beagle and bull mastiff weighing 54 lbs.

Poe
January 28th 09, 11:52 PM
cshenk wrote:
> "bertoiaj" wrote
>
>> cat...another female three years old. It was thought that the two
>> girls would become friends an keep each other company....but since I
>
> Not so fast, especially if she or your other cat are 'only cats'. That
> means one who prefers to be the only cat in the house. My adoptive cat
> Daisy is like that and we knew it in advance from the shelter when we picked
> her.
>
> Daisy will tolerate another cat at a distance, but thats it. Weirdly, she
> bonds to dogs so I got a cat and dog, sleeping in sin together.
>
>> got the new cat in late December she has been living in a spare room
>> under a bed....she eats and uses the litter box, but whenever I enter
>> the room she is hidden under the bed. I have gotten her out a number
>> of times and she purrs and does like to be petted and brushed, but the
>> moment I let go of her she hides under the bed. So, it does not
>
> Give her time. This can take at least 3 months. That she comes out for
> you, is a good sign.
>
> Daisy was a no-see'um cat for 3 weeks. Then, she came out one night to paw
> my lap. Next night, we saw her playing with the dog but she ran when we
> came in for another month.
>
> A year later, she bitches at me if I don't go to bed when she wants me to be
> there to make the bed warmer. Huffs off and curls up with the dog....
>
> I agree that you've given her little need to walk out as of yet, but I see
> no need to rush it by dismantling 'her hidy hole'. I also don't see picking
> her up and walking around with her, unless she tolerates that well. Daisy
> still can not be picked up. If your new lady does tolerate that, then it's
> fine to do so.
>
>> have them in the same room together the other night...my cat was not
>> pleased...and hissed and growled. The new cat just hid under a
>> coffee table. ( I live alone and work until 5 each day,so I have
>> limited time to spend with the cats.
>
> Let them work it out without forcing it. It seems to me you have a
> 'dominance issue' which is not abnormal. The new cat hiding this long means
> 'uncle' or 'I give' but the pre-existing one will occasionally remind the
> new one 'I'm Boss Cat'.
>
>> So I am at a loss....I want the new cat to have a better quality of
>> life than hiding under the bed 24/7.....any advice?
>
> Time. It was just December you say and this is just late Jan.
>
> When we got Daisy, the foster folks and the adoption agency both said 'you
> will not find this cat for 2 months at least and may be longer'.
>
> It did take 3 weeks but after that it was pretty straight forward.
>
> Lets look at it from another view. If you'd been left loose to fend for
> yourself in the wild, then found a home, then moved, you might be a bit
> hesitant at the start too.
>
> I do agree to start a wet treat twice a day. You have to do this for *both*
> of thm though and best not in the same room just yet. Another mentions you
> dry feed (I must be blind as not seeing that) so I'll digress on how to
> shift that with 2 kitties.
>
> The dominant one will steal the food of the other one, especially at the
> start and definately if she can eat it all. You probably should start that
> with a closed door between the two then slowly you can shift to feeding them
> at opposite corners of the same room but it's gona be a long time before you
> can use a 2 feeder bowl for both and it's actually not smart to push that at
> all (memories of 2 cats who liked that but most want their *own* dish).
>
> You'd make the first feeding before you go to work. This can be pretty
> quick if you need to. Second one after you get home with more petting time
> allowed based on your schedule.
>
> Free feeding may be ok, but I'd opt for one free feed bowl between both of
> them, and separate water and wet feed. I just know it worked when i
> integrated new cats.
>
> BTW, dominance interactions can be interesting if you don't let it get out
> of hand. Daisy and Cash have their wet morning and night, and a lunch nosh
> of broth with a bit of meat. Same room but she's up high. Reason is he'll
> eat her food if he can, but he's more apt to have leftovers and she'll jump
> down, push him from his bowl, and grab a kibble (he gets kibble and wet
> mixed). This can be pretty amusing when the 'Boss 4foot' is all of 9 lbs
> and the 'underling Dog' is a mixed beagle and bull mastiff weighing 54 lbs.
>
>
>


I was only basing my comments on casual personal experience. I have no
REAL experience rehabbing feral or scared cats. I think OP will be able
to take a little from each response, use what works and forget the rest.
I found especially interest the person who's friend had lots of
experience with feral cats.

Btw, ITA - the dominance interactions can be interesting to watch. I
have 5 felines - 4 are a momma and 3 of her babies (all siblings) -
there is one "boss" cat among them who rules those 4. Then there is my
oldest, from another place altogether. SHE is the true dominate cat. She
walks thru a room and all the other 4 topple over like broken toys, onto
their backs into submission - even the "boss" cat of the 4. They
definitely have their own sub-community in this house.

cshenk
January 30th 09, 02:00 PM
"Poe" wrote
> cshenk wrote:

> I was only basing my comments on casual personal experience. I have no
> REAL experience rehabbing feral or scared cats. I think OP will be able to
> take a little from each response, use what works and forget the rest. I
> found especially interest the person who's friend had lots of experience
> with feral cats.

It's fine! I havent seen any 'bad' advice at all on this particular thread,
just a few paths I would take a bit differently. I am no professional at
this either. Just integrated cats many a time, and now a slightly still
feral cat to a dog who used to be a hunting dog. (now type softly for a
bit, they are asleep in the bedroom with her curled to his belly).

> Btw, ITA - the dominance interactions can be interesting to watch. I have
> 5 felines - 4 are a momma and 3 of her babies (all siblings) - there is
> one "boss" cat among them who rules those 4. Then there is my oldest, from
> another place altogether. SHE is the true dominate cat. She walks thru a
> room and all the other 4 topple over like broken toys, onto their backs
> into submission - even the "boss" cat of the 4. They definitely have their
> own sub-community in this house.

Oh yes! Can be fun to watch if kept in reasonable limits! It's pushing the
interaction too fast that can cause the problems.

It's rare (from what I have been told by vets and SPCA etc) for a cat to not
eventually integrate with another cat household, but now and again you get
that 5% of the community. Daisy is that 5%. I can see it clearly in her
behavior. She's an odd mix of Boss and fraidy-cat. Poor Cash-pup! At 54
lbs, he's bottom of the pecking order here, below the 9 lb cat ;-) Once he
knew that, they got along famously.

Now the hardest integration? I had 2 fully clawed cats who were raised
together from kittenhood (about 4 months age difference) who were subjected
to me adding 2 declawed cats (front and back) when they were 11. The new
ones were 8 and 7 years old respectively. (previous owner was going to have
them put to sleep because new wife was pregnant and developed cat fur
allergies).

I was quite worried that adding 2 so terribly defenseless would be a
problem. It wasnt really. I just let them take their own sweet time about
it. One of the new ones, i found another home for as her nature was to be
happier as an 'only cat' (why I can see it so clearly in Daisy now). The
other one was a lap kitty who converted from 'dominant' when with the other
declawed kitty, to 'bottom of the heap' with the 2 clawed ones but it was
not a claw issue. He was just too gentle natured to lead the other 2. He
did however teach Roscoe to not pester him. Roscoe (clawed) was all of 6.5
lbs at best and normally about 5.5. Thom (declawed) was about 21.

I got to watch this one. One day, Thom just got tired of Roscoe being a
little *too* assertive of dominance so he *sat* on Roscoe. Poor Roscoe!
You could just see him miffed and going 'get offa me you big galoot!'.

Clara Semps
February 1st 09, 08:39 AM
In article >, Poe
> wrote:

> I wouldn't force the cats to be together. Cats will do that
> in their own time, or not. I have had cats live their entire lives
> hating each other's guts :-/ On the up-side, I think they secretly enjoy
> starling at each other and copping attitudes!

I agree with you completely. Especially about the cat secrets. Mine are
best buddies one moment, hated enemies the other. Definitely Frienemies
that occupy the same house.

bartlet
February 3rd 09, 10:20 PM
On Jan 27, 9:38*pm, bertoiaj > wrote:

> So I am at a loss....I want the new cat to have a better quality of
> life than hiding under the bed 24/7.....any advice?
> Recommendations?

sure, fix it so she can't get under the bed
or put your mattress box spring on the floor

good luck

do give her a house to retreat to
like, a small cat box, lol

something.

my cat was the same way

looks like the real instinct is, she don't feel to safe somehow
it may take year(s)... really

sometimes the more you call a cat, the scareder they get
as someone on here explained to me
they feel like you're trying to "get" them

it's better, let them come to you of course