View Full Version : Re: Advice pls: what to send my friend's cat who died

April 7th 09, 04:27 AM
On Mon 06-Apr-2009 02:46, Matthew
> wrote:

> "Sandi" > wrote in message
> ...
>> On Sat 04-Apr-2009 20:09, Stan Brown
>> > wrote:
>>> Sat, 04 Apr 2009 06:03:02 +0100 from Sandi >:
>>>> I'm in the UK. My friend and her parents had a lovely
>>>> friendly cat at home for about 10 or 12 years. It died
>>>> earlier today.
>>> When my cat died, the vet sent a notice that she had had a
>>> tree planted in Israel in his name. I thought that was a
>>> nice gesture, but YMMV.
>>> I'd think a donation to any cat welfare organization, in
>>> memory of the pet, would be appreciated. Ideally this would
>>> be a local organization in your friend's town, as opposed to
>>> a less personal national organization.
>> Dear all, I don't want to be dumb or picky but how does a
>> donation to a cat organisation help the bereaved feel better?
>> Isn't a donation really for my benefit as it is a "sensible"
>> or more permanent way of expressing my condolence.
>> But it's my friend who is hurting with grief. She's in her
>> early 30s and lives in the countryside with her parents and
>> their cat has been there almost all her adult life. Thee were
>> no other pets. They all loved the cat, especially my friend
>> who was there most of the day. Now he's gone. Her world has
>> changed.
>> I do not at all mind giving to a good cause like a cat
>> oranisation but what am I not seeing in terms of how it helps
>> my friend or her family?
>> Very sadly, I missed his burial today in one of his favourite
>> spots in the garden. I do not live nearby and only heard
>> about it afterwards. I would have dearly wanted to be there.
>> Does it help to suggest they now get a little kitten to
>> somehow carry or embody the spirit of the deceased cat? I can
>> see how that might go very wrong but maybe it can go very
>> right. Oh I don't know. It's all new to me. What I know is
>> I weep with sorrow and my friend is devastated by her loss.
> No getting a cat or kitten that quick is totally up to the
> person not you. Don't even suggest it. It might back fire
> badly
>> Sorry to go on writing so much. Any suggestions would be
>> welcome. Put me right if I my vision is too clouded. All I
>> know is that I am a swirling pot of emotion and not really
>> too sure about anything much.
> Sandi can I make a suggestion. When I lost a furball last
> year my friends in these groups said many condolences to me.
> When I read them I was truly touched and a sense of easement
> came over me. Truly anything that you do will help with the
> loss. Why not do a card, and a donation. If it comes from
> your heart THAT IS ALL THAT TRULY MATTERS. If your friend is
> not a member of the ASPCA or HSUS you could always give a
> membership to them
> I cry everytime someone in these groups tell me they lost a
> master. Some of these people if have never met or will met.

I guess I feel the care so strongly that I want to do what is of
most value to my friend. Maybe I need a lighter touch?