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TOP TEN THINGS A CAT THINKS ABOUT by
Matthew AKA NMR
TOP TEN THINGS A CAT THINKS ABOUT
10. I could have sworn I heard the can opener.
9. Is there something I'm not getting when humans make noise with their
mouths?
8. Why doesn't the government do something about dogs?
7. I wonder if Morris really liked 9-Lives, or did he have ULTERIOR motives?
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0 |
1,163 |
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Cat Finally Gets Revenge by
Matthew AKA NMR
Fairy Tales "
Cinderella is now 75 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now dead
Prince, she happily sits upon her rocking chair, watching world go by from
her front porch, with a cat named Bob for companionship.
One sunny afternoon, out of nowhere, appeared the Fairy Godmother...
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0 |
931 |
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Strange Cat Facts and Records by
Matthew AKA NMR
Best Climber
In 1950, a four month kitten climbed 14,691 feet to the top of the
Matterhorn in the Alps
Longest
Verismo’s Leonetti Reserve Red (Leo) - a Maine Coon who weighs in at 35
pounds and measures 48 inches from nose to tail (Guinness World Records)
Shortest/smallest
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0 |
1,020 |
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Cat Miracle Diet by
Matthew AKA NMR
Cat Miracle Diet
Most diets fail because we are still thinking and eating like people. For
those us who have never had any success dieting, now there is the new Cat
Miracle Diet!
Most cats are long and lean (or tiny and petite). The Cat Miracle Diet will
help you achieve the same lean, svelte...
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0 |
1,244 |
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What is a Cat? by
Matthew AKA NMR
What is a Cat?
1. Cats do what they want.
2. They rarely listen to you.
3. They're totally unpredictable.
4. When you want to play, they want to be alone.
5. When you want to be alone, they want to play.
6. They expect you to cater to their every whim.
7. They're moody.
8. They leave hair...
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0 |
807 |
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Things CATS Must Try To Remember! by
Matthew AKA NMR
Things CATS Must Try To Remember!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Screaming at the can of food will not make it open itself.
I should not assume the patio door is open when I race outside to chase
leaves.
If I put a live mouse in my food bowl, I should not...
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0 |
1,397 |
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Cats & Pills by
Matthew AKA NMR
Cats & Pills
1. Grasp cat firmly in your arms. Cradle its head on your elbow, just as if
you were giving baby a bottle. Coo confidently, "That's a nice kitty." Drop
pill into its mouth.
2. Retrieve cat from top of lamp and pill from under sofa.
3. Follow same procedure as in 1, but hold cat's...
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926 |
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Cats jokes by
Matthew AKA NMR
Two ROBINS were lying on their backs, BASKING in the sun. A mama cat and her
kitten were walking by. The kitten complained, 'Mama, I'm so hungry, what
can we eat?' To which the mama cat, spying the two robins, replied,
How about some Baskin Robbins?'
Top Ten Signs Your Cat Has Learned Your...
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0 |
1,059 |
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Quotes" About Cats by
Matthew AKA NMR
Cats names are more for human benefit. They give one a certain degree more
confidence that the animal belongs to you.
- - - Alan Ayckbourn "Table Manners"
Cat: a soft indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when
things go wrong in the domestic circle.
- - - Ambrose Bierce
Dogs...
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0 |
1,874 |
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Cats are like Teenagers by
Matthew AKA NMR
The similarities between cats and human teenagers
For all of you with teenagers or who had teenagers, you may want to know why
they really have a lot in common with cats:
1. Neither teenagers nor cats turn their heads when you call them by name.
2. No matter what you do for them, it is not...
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946 |
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OT Joke by
Matthew AKA NMR
Cardiologist's Funeral
A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral. A huge heart covered
in flowers stood behind the casket during the service.
Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside. The
heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart...
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0 |
1,205 |
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OT Ahhh, Retirement by
Matthew AKA NMR
Ahhh, Retirement
Question: How many days in a week?
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday
Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.
Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.
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0 |
1,347 |
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Ripping out the screens (pics) by
Susan M
I was cleaning our bedroom this AM when Otis starting yowling right under
the window, which is second storey window. He wanted in, and now.
Very shortly, my heart dropped into my boots when I heard the familiar sound
of a cat hitting the window screen. Luckily, he didn't bounce off and
tumbled...
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9 |
1,443 |
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Funny Little Game by
jmcquown
This afternoon I was lying on my side on the couch intending to take a brief
nap. Persia was next to me, facing me. I was giving her scritches - neck,
forehead, rubbing the bridge of her nose. When I stopped and laid my hand
against my chest she reached up and touched my forehead with her paw. ...
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6 |
777 |
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scritch reactions by
Steve Touchstone
I've been thinking lately about the different reactions I've seen when
one of my cats jumps up for some scritches. I've only had four cats as
an adult - I spent 20 years active duty in the Army, and as a single
soldier never thought it right to get a pet and have to rehome it if I
deployed...
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9 |
1,155 |
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9 |
1,625 |
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Little Miss Stinky-Pooper gets a bath by
Pat
A while ago Lily jumped into my lap stinking of poo and what was stuck in
the fur under her tail was a lot more than gas, so off to the bathtub we
went.
The little girl was so sweet for me - never even *considered* using claws
and stood right under the spigot for her rinse. If only they were all...
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5 |
1,178 |
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Vino's daddy home soon by
badwilson
Less than 24 hours until Dennis gets home from Florida. I've been telling
Vino that his daddy is on his way and I think it's making him very excited!
Poor Dennis is going to be destroyed after his flight. It's taking him 3
days to get home if you include the time difference. He's flying from...
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6 |
1,371 |
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Whistling by
Christina Websell
I thought Boyfriend was out and wanted him in tonight just now before I go
to bed soon, so I called him with the special whistling that I use that he
responds to.
Well, he did respond, he appeared from under the kitchen table from where he
was sleeping in his bed and had sneaked in there without me...
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1 |
1,071 |
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First under 20k bubbles!!!! by
Victor Martinez
I just got my lowest score yet on bubbles (I think): 19,990
Victor
--
Victor M. Martinez
Owned and operated by the Fantastic Seven (TM)
Send your spam he
Email me he
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9 |
1,514 |