Advice needed
 

Hi all,

Okay, let me start by introducing our cat, Mina.

She is, we think, about 2-3 years old. She turned up as a stray, eating
the hedgehogs food, last summer. We shooed her off for a bit, but
eventually caved - she was painfully thin. A couple of weeks passed, and
we saw her feeding four kittens. To cut a very long story short, with the
help of a superb local rescue home, Newmarket Cats, we captured mum and
kittens and they took them on board to feed them up and rehome the babies.
Eventually, we took mum back and have had her since about September.

I want to make one thing perfectly clear here and now: we don't consider
ourselves barbarians or cruel people, but we originally had ideas of
maybe, just maybe, keeping her as an indoor only cat. We're on a major
road, we're bird lovers, and to top it all, we have no real facilities to
letting her in at night - we'd have to wait for her to turn up, etc. We
also know you're supposed to keep a cat indoors for a while when you first
get them so they get used to the area, right? Our intention was not to be
cruel, but to be kind. Besides, she wasn't actively seeking to get out...
She wasn't pacing by the door, she wouldn't paw or claw the door or
windows. She seemed quite content, really. [I know there are mixed
opinions about indoor cats, and I know it provokes strong emotions, so I
want to avoid a flame war here and now.]

Just recently we decided that she ought to be going outside a bit, I guess
it was because if she bolted as a door was opened, we wanted her to trust
us enough to come back and not think of it as a desparate bid for freedom.
Anyway, we got a cat flap fitted, which we haven't really prepared for her
use yet. This was a couple of weeks back.

Since then we've been letting her out into our back garden. The back
garden isn't huge, but it's okay. There's a six foot wall at the back all
along it. Down the sides are similar walls and hedges. We can *sort of*
blockade the sides of the house to prevent her from going out down the
sides and by the road, but naturally, being a cat, she'll find a way
eventually :) Beyond the wall at the back is a football club car park, the
club slightly beyond that. At night a bunch of muppets tear up and down in
their cars, so naturally I'd really rather avoid her getting over the
wall.

She's already been over the wall once. I'm getting slightly ahead of
myself here. The other day she managed to climb up onto the back wall and
walked along it, but she got really scared, you could just tell. She was
miaowing and looking really terrified, pacing up and down. I went around
the back via the club car park and she almost leapt into my arms. She
struggled on the way home, but she was okay after a while. Then on the
weekend she got onto the wall and jumped down into the car park. She
disappeared for ages, the first time she'd been out of the house AND out
of sight since we had her, pretty much.

We let her be for about 15 minutes, just to see what she did. In the end
my wife went around and she was cowering at the base of the wall miaowing.
My wife picked her up and passed her over the wall to me. The rest of that
evening she was very affectionate, so we reckon she scared herself a bit.

So we're naturally not the greatest "parents" in the world, and there's
probably a load of things we're doing wrong. We're trying, but it's very
hard. It's amazing how much stress and tension it puts you under. Since
she started going out she's been a different cat; it might only be half an
hour a night, near enough, but she wants to go out and when she's in she
seems distracted. She wasn't like that before. The problem is that when
she's out there, the whole time she's either looking for a way out or she
seems to not know what to do or where to go. Sometimes she just wanders up
and down sniffing everything, which is fine, and sometimes she just lays
under a bush.

I'm really not sure what's for the best. Should we just shove her out,
lock the door and let her do her own thing? Should we sit with her outside
and still prevent her from "escaping"? I mean, there's a million things we
could be doing, but I'm damned if I know what to do for the best. It's a
nightmare, it really is. I'm terrified of her going out on the road. And I
don't want to keep her in all the time if she doesn't want to be in, but
generally she seems fine about being in. The fact that her temperament has
changed since she started going out is a cause for concern simply because
she hasn't been, in my opinion, as affectionate and avoids us both more
than she used to.

So if anyone has any advice, suggestions or helpful words, please, feel
free to send them my way.

Thanks,

H

Well, I'm in the U.S., so my take will likely be different than that of many
in the UK; people here have inside & in/outside cats. My cats are 100%
indoor cats because of the traffic: one of city's the main streets - though
residential, is about 75 feet in front of my house. My neighbor's cats are
allowed outside, but one of her cats was killed by a car in the street in
front of her house when he was 2 years old. Across the street, another
neighbor's cat is inside-only. Personally, considering that there's parking
lot behind your house, I would keep her inside.

Otoh, I don't think houses in the UK tend to have window screens, as we do:
my cats can sit on open window sills & look out, & get some fresh air, but a
screen prevents them from jumping or falling out; well, from spring to fall,
at least. (I'm in the NE - way too cold for open windows in the winter.)
Also, I'm lucky in that I have a large floor-to-ceiling screened-in porch,
which the cats can also enjoy.

Some people make a screened enclosure for their cats; or else buy ready-made
ones which have been coming on the market lately - adjacent to the house &
reached via a cat-flap.

Cathy


"H. Barker" wrote in message
...

Hi all,

Okay, let me start by introducing our cat, Mina.

She is, we think, about 2-3 years old. She turned up as a stray, eating
the hedgehogs food, last summer. We shooed her off for a bit, but
eventually caved - she was painfully thin. A couple of weeks passed, and
we saw her feeding four kittens. To cut a very long story short, with the
help of a superb local rescue home, Newmarket Cats, we captured mum and
kittens and they took them on board to feed them up and rehome the babies.
Eventually, we took mum back and have had her since about September.

I want to make one thing perfectly clear here and now: we don't consider
ourselves barbarians or cruel people, but we originally had ideas of
maybe, just maybe, keeping her as an indoor only cat. We're on a major
road, we're bird lovers, and to top it all, we have no real facilities to
letting her in at night - we'd have to wait for her to turn up, etc. We
also know you're supposed to keep a cat indoors for a while when you first
get them so they get used to the area, right? Our intention was not to be
cruel, but to be kind. Besides, she wasn't actively seeking to get out...
She wasn't pacing by the door, she wouldn't paw or claw the door or
windows. She seemed quite content, really. [I know there are mixed
opinions about indoor cats, and I know it provokes strong emotions, so I
want to avoid a flame war here and now.]

Just recently we decided that she ought to be going outside a bit, I guess
it was because if she bolted as a door was opened, we wanted her to trust
us enough to come back and not think of it as a desparate bid for freedom.
Anyway, we got a cat flap fitted, which we haven't really prepared for her
use yet. This was a couple of weeks back.

Since then we've been letting her out into our back garden. The back
garden isn't huge, but it's okay. There's a six foot wall at the back all
along it. Down the sides are similar walls and hedges. We can *sort of*
blockade the sides of the house to prevent her from going out down the
sides and by the road, but naturally, being a cat, she'll find a way
eventually :) Beyond the wall at the back is a football club car park, the
club slightly beyond that. At night a bunch of muppets tear up and down in
their cars, so naturally I'd really rather avoid her getting over the
wall.

She's already been over the wall once. I'm getting slightly ahead of
myself here. The other day she managed to climb up onto the back wall and
walked along it, but she got really scared, you could just tell. She was
miaowing and looking really terrified, pacing up and down. I went around
the back via the club car park and she almost leapt into my arms. She
struggled on the way home, but she was okay after a while. Then on the
weekend she got onto the wall and jumped down into the car park. She
disappeared for ages, the first time she'd been out of the house AND out
of sight since we had her, pretty much.

We let her be for about 15 minutes, just to see what she did. In the end
my wife went around and she was cowering at the base of the wall miaowing.
My wife picked her up and passed her over the wall to me. The rest of that
evening she was very affectionate, so we reckon she scared herself a bit.

So we're naturally not the greatest "parents" in the world, and there's
probably a load of things we're doing wrong. We're trying, but it's very
hard. It's amazing how much stress and tension it puts you under. Since
she started going out she's been a different cat; it might only be half an
hour a night, near enough, but she wants to go out and when she's in she
seems distracted. She wasn't like that before. The problem is that when
she's out there, the whole time she's either looking for a way out or she
seems to not know what to do or where to go. Sometimes she just wanders up
and down sniffing everything, which is fine, and sometimes she just lays
under a bush.

I'm really not sure what's for the best. Should we just shove her out,
lock the door and let her do her own thing? Should we sit with her outside
and still prevent her from "escaping"? I mean, there's a million things we
could be doing, but I'm damned if I know what to do for the best. It's a
nightmare, it really is. I'm terrified of her going out on the road. And I
don't want to keep her in all the time if she doesn't want to be in, but
generally she seems fine about being in. The fact that her temperament has
changed since she started going out is a cause for concern simply because
she hasn't been, in my opinion, as affectionate and avoids us both more
than she used to.

So if anyone has any advice, suggestions or helpful words, please, feel
free to send them my way.

Thanks,

H

Well, I'm in the U.S., so my take will likely be different than that of many
in the UK; people here have inside & in/outside cats. My cats are 100%
indoor cats because of the traffic: one of city's the main streets - though
residential, is about 75 feet in front of my house. My neighbor's cats are
allowed outside, but one of her cats was killed by a car in the street in
front of her house when he was 2 years old. Across the street, another
neighbor's cat is inside-only. Personally, considering that there's parking
lot behind your house, I would keep her inside.

Otoh, I don't think houses in the UK tend to have window screens, as we do:
my cats can sit on open window sills & look out, & get some fresh air, but a
screen prevents them from jumping or falling out; well, from spring to fall,
at least. (I'm in the NE - way too cold for open windows in the winter.)
Also, I'm lucky in that I have a large floor-to-ceiling screened-in porch,
which the cats can also enjoy.

Some people make a screened enclosure for their cats; or else buy ready-made
ones which have been coming on the market lately - adjacent to the house &
reached via a cat-flap.

Cathy


"H. Barker" wrote in message
...

Hi all,

Okay, let me start by introducing our cat, Mina.

She is, we think, about 2-3 years old. She turned up as a stray, eating
the hedgehogs food, last summer. We shooed her off for a bit, but
eventually caved - she was painfully thin. A couple of weeks passed, and
we saw her feeding four kittens. To cut a very long story short, with the
help of a superb local rescue home, Newmarket Cats, we captured mum and
kittens and they took them on board to feed them up and rehome the babies.
Eventually, we took mum back and have had her since about September.

I want to make one thing perfectly clear here and now: we don't consider
ourselves barbarians or cruel people, but we originally had ideas of
maybe, just maybe, keeping her as an indoor only cat. We're on a major
road, we're bird lovers, and to top it all, we have no real facilities to
letting her in at night - we'd have to wait for her to turn up, etc. We
also know you're supposed to keep a cat indoors for a while when you first
get them so they get used to the area, right? Our intention was not to be
cruel, but to be kind. Besides, she wasn't actively seeking to get out...
She wasn't pacing by the door, she wouldn't paw or claw the door or
windows. She seemed quite content, really. [I know there are mixed
opinions about indoor cats, and I know it provokes strong emotions, so I
want to avoid a flame war here and now.]

Just recently we decided that she ought to be going outside a bit, I guess
it was because if she bolted as a door was opened, we wanted her to trust
us enough to come back and not think of it as a desparate bid for freedom.
Anyway, we got a cat flap fitted, which we haven't really prepared for her
use yet. This was a couple of weeks back.

Since then we've been letting her out into our back garden. The back
garden isn't huge, but it's okay. There's a six foot wall at the back all
along it. Down the sides are similar walls and hedges. We can *sort of*
blockade the sides of the house to prevent her from going out down the
sides and by the road, but naturally, being a cat, she'll find a way
eventually :) Beyond the wall at the back is a football club car park, the
club slightly beyond that. At night a bunch of muppets tear up and down in
their cars, so naturally I'd really rather avoid her getting over the
wall.

She's already been over the wall once. I'm getting slightly ahead of
myself here. The other day she managed to climb up onto the back wall and
walked along it, but she got really scared, you could just tell. She was
miaowing and looking really terrified, pacing up and down. I went around
the back via the club car park and she almost leapt into my arms. She
struggled on the way home, but she was okay after a while. Then on the
weekend she got onto the wall and jumped down into the car park. She
disappeared for ages, the first time she'd been out of the house AND out
of sight since we had her, pretty much.

We let her be for about 15 minutes, just to see what she did. In the end
my wife went around and she was cowering at the base of the wall miaowing.
My wife picked her up and passed her over the wall to me. The rest of that
evening she was very affectionate, so we reckon she scared herself a bit.

So we're naturally not the greatest "parents" in the world, and there's
probably a load of things we're doing wrong. We're trying, but it's very
hard. It's amazing how much stress and tension it puts you under. Since
she started going out she's been a different cat; it might only be half an
hour a night, near enough, but she wants to go out and when she's in she
seems distracted. She wasn't like that before. The problem is that when
she's out there, the whole time she's either looking for a way out or she
seems to not know what to do or where to go. Sometimes she just wanders up
and down sniffing everything, which is fine, and sometimes she just lays
under a bush.

I'm really not sure what's for the best. Should we just shove her out,
lock the door and let her do her own thing? Should we sit with her outside
and still prevent her from "escaping"? I mean, there's a million things we
could be doing, but I'm damned if I know what to do for the best. It's a
nightmare, it really is. I'm terrified of her going out on the road. And I
don't want to keep her in all the time if she doesn't want to be in, but
generally she seems fine about being in. The fact that her temperament has
changed since she started going out is a cause for concern simply because
she hasn't been, in my opinion, as affectionate and avoids us both more
than she used to.

So if anyone has any advice, suggestions or helpful words, please, feel
free to send them my way.

Thanks,

H

"H. Barker" wrote in message
...

Hi all,

Okay, let me start by introducing our cat, Mina.

She sounds lovely and you sound lovely because many people would have opted
to keep a kitten and abandon the mama to the shelter. I would keep her in,
and provide her with cat seats at screened windows so that she can enjoy the
outdoors without the dangers. It is not cruel at all. She will feel safe
because she will BE safe. She sounds to me like she wants to be inside. In
your well-meaning waffling, you may have confused her. You will both be
happier if you keep her in.

Bless you for helping her and her babies!

"H. Barker" wrote in message
...

Hi all,

Okay, let me start by introducing our cat, Mina.

She sounds lovely and you sound lovely because many people would have opted
to keep a kitten and abandon the mama to the shelter. I would keep her in,
and provide her with cat seats at screened windows so that she can enjoy the
outdoors without the dangers. It is not cruel at all. She will feel safe
because she will BE safe. She sounds to me like she wants to be inside. In
your well-meaning waffling, you may have confused her. You will both be
happier if you keep her in.

Bless you for helping her and her babies!

In article Pine.SOL.3.96.1040607150558.11375K-100000
@libra.cus.cam.ac.uk, enlightened us with...

I'm really not sure what's for the best. Should we just shove her out,
lock the door and let her do her own thing? Should we sit with her outside
and still prevent her from "escaping"? I mean, there's a million things we
could be doing, but I'm damned if I know what to do for the best. It's a
nightmare, it really is. I'm terrified of her going out on the road. And I
don't want to keep her in all the time if she doesn't want to be in, but
generally she seems fine about being in. The fact that her temperament has
changed since she started going out is a cause for concern simply because
she hasn't been, in my opinion, as affectionate and avoids us both more
than she used to.

So if anyone has any advice, suggestions or helpful words, please, feel
free to send them my way.


Well, I live in the States, so take this with the appropriate amount of
salt. :)

Keep her inside. She's safe, she won't get hit by a car, she will *feel*
safe, you will feel she's safe, and she'll feel your calm.
If she really *wants* to go out, you can go out with her. Cats can be
trained to walk on harness if you're worried she'll get away from you.
You might also build her an enclosure if you've a mind. Large, fenced on
all sides and top, with plenty of grass and some wood and things to
climb on. If she's out for any length of time, put water out, too.

It sounds to me, though, that she likes being inside, yet thinks she's
supposed to go outside, so she does, even though she doesn't really want
to. Trust me, cats can be very happy indoors if you give them things to
play with, a window to watch out of, and lots of love. In the States, it
is not at all considered cruel to keep cats inside all the time as long
as they have lots of stimulation to keep them happy.
Once you make the decision to keep her in, I bet she'll feel more
settled and will return to her "normal" personality. Cats feel our
stress even when they don't know the cause.

Good luck - keep us posted.

--
--
~kaeli~
Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
http://www.ipwebdesign.net/wildAtHeart
http://www.ipwebdesign.net/kaelisSpace

In article Pine.SOL.3.96.1040607150558.11375K-100000
@libra.cus.cam.ac.uk, enlightened us with...

I'm really not sure what's for the best. Should we just shove her out,
lock the door and let her do her own thing? Should we sit with her outside
and still prevent her from "escaping"? I mean, there's a million things we
could be doing, but I'm damned if I know what to do for the best. It's a
nightmare, it really is. I'm terrified of her going out on the road. And I
don't want to keep her in all the time if she doesn't want to be in, but
generally she seems fine about being in. The fact that her temperament has
changed since she started going out is a cause for concern simply because
she hasn't been, in my opinion, as affectionate and avoids us both more
than she used to.

So if anyone has any advice, suggestions or helpful words, please, feel
free to send them my way.


Well, I live in the States, so take this with the appropriate amount of
salt. :)

Keep her inside. She's safe, she won't get hit by a car, she will *feel*
safe, you will feel she's safe, and she'll feel your calm.
If she really *wants* to go out, you can go out with her. Cats can be
trained to walk on harness if you're worried she'll get away from you.
You might also build her an enclosure if you've a mind. Large, fenced on
all sides and top, with plenty of grass and some wood and things to
climb on. If she's out for any length of time, put water out, too.

It sounds to me, though, that she likes being inside, yet thinks she's
supposed to go outside, so she does, even though she doesn't really want
to. Trust me, cats can be very happy indoors if you give them things to
play with, a window to watch out of, and lots of love. In the States, it
is not at all considered cruel to keep cats inside all the time as long
as they have lots of stimulation to keep them happy.
Once you make the decision to keep her in, I bet she'll feel more
settled and will return to her "normal" personality. Cats feel our
stress even when they don't know the cause.

Good luck - keep us posted.

--
--
~kaeli~
Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
http://www.ipwebdesign.net/wildAtHeart
http://www.ipwebdesign.net/kaelisSpace

I would get this cat to use a leash and harness. This would keep her safe
and still allow her outside. To get her used to it put on the harness and
allow her to walk around the house in it for a few minutes each day for
about a week or so. Then attach the leash so she can get used to that too.
Then when it looks like she is ready allow her to go outside in both the
leash and harness.

--
Panther TEK: Staying On Top Of All Your Computer Needs!
www.members.cox.net/catprotector/panthertek

Cat Galaxy: All Cats, All The Time!
www.catgalaxymedia.com

"H. Barker" wrote in message
...

Hi all,

Okay, let me start by introducing our cat, Mina.

She is, we think, about 2-3 years old. She turned up as a stray, eating
the hedgehogs food, last summer. We shooed her off for a bit, but
eventually caved - she was painfully thin. A couple of weeks passed, and
we saw her feeding four kittens. To cut a very long story short, with the
help of a superb local rescue home, Newmarket Cats, we captured mum and
kittens and they took them on board to feed them up and rehome the babies.
Eventually, we took mum back and have had her since about September.

I want to make one thing perfectly clear here and now: we don't consider
ourselves barbarians or cruel people, but we originally had ideas of
maybe, just maybe, keeping her as an indoor only cat. We're on a major
road, we're bird lovers, and to top it all, we have no real facilities to
letting her in at night - we'd have to wait for her to turn up, etc. We
also know you're supposed to keep a cat indoors for a while when you first
get them so they get used to the area, right? Our intention was not to be
cruel, but to be kind. Besides, she wasn't actively seeking to get out...
She wasn't pacing by the door, she wouldn't paw or claw the door or
windows. She seemed quite content, really. [I know there are mixed
opinions about indoor cats, and I know it provokes strong emotions, so I
want to avoid a flame war here and now.]

Just recently we decided that she ought to be going outside a bit, I guess
it was because if she bolted as a door was opened, we wanted her to trust
us enough to come back and not think of it as a desparate bid for freedom.
Anyway, we got a cat flap fitted, which we haven't really prepared for her
use yet. This was a couple of weeks back.

Since then we've been letting her out into our back garden. The back
garden isn't huge, but it's okay. There's a six foot wall at the back all
along it. Down the sides are similar walls and hedges. We can *sort of*
blockade the sides of the house to prevent her from going out down the
sides and by the road, but naturally, being a cat, she'll find a way
eventually :) Beyond the wall at the back is a football club car park, the
club slightly beyond that. At night a bunch of muppets tear up and down in
their cars, so naturally I'd really rather avoid her getting over the
wall.

She's already been over the wall once. I'm getting slightly ahead of
myself here. The other day she managed to climb up onto the back wall and
walked along it, but she got really scared, you could just tell. She was
miaowing and looking really terrified, pacing up and down. I went around
the back via the club car park and she almost leapt into my arms. She
struggled on the way home, but she was okay after a while. Then on the
weekend she got onto the wall and jumped down into the car park. She
disappeared for ages, the first time she'd been out of the house AND out
of sight since we had her, pretty much.

We let her be for about 15 minutes, just to see what she did. In the end
my wife went around and she was cowering at the base of the wall miaowing.
My wife picked her up and passed her over the wall to me. The rest of that
evening she was very affectionate, so we reckon she scared herself a bit.

So we're naturally not the greatest "parents" in the world, and there's
probably a load of things we're doing wrong. We're trying, but it's very
hard. It's amazing how much stress and tension it puts you under. Since
she started going out she's been a different cat; it might only be half an
hour a night, near enough, but she wants to go out and when she's in she
seems distracted. She wasn't like that before. The problem is that when
she's out there, the whole time she's either looking for a way out or she
seems to not know what to do or where to go. Sometimes she just wanders up
and down sniffing everything, which is fine, and sometimes she just lays
under a bush.

I'm really not sure what's for the best. Should we just shove her out,
lock the door and let her do her own thing? Should we sit with her outside
and still prevent her from "escaping"? I mean, there's a million things we
could be doing, but I'm damned if I know what to do for the best. It's a
nightmare, it really is. I'm terrified of her going out on the road. And I
don't want to keep her in all the time if she doesn't want to be in, but
generally she seems fine about being in. The fact that her temperament has
changed since she started going out is a cause for concern simply because
she hasn't been, in my opinion, as affectionate and avoids us both more
than she used to.

So if anyone has any advice, suggestions or helpful words, please, feel
free to send them my way.

Thanks,

H

I would get this cat to use a leash and harness. This would keep her safe
and still allow her outside. To get her used to it put on the harness and
allow her to walk around the house in it for a few minutes each day for
about a week or so. Then attach the leash so she can get used to that too.
Then when it looks like she is ready allow her to go outside in both the
leash and harness.

--
Panther TEK: Staying On Top Of All Your Computer Needs!
www.members.cox.net/catprotector/panthertek

Cat Galaxy: All Cats, All The Time!
www.catgalaxymedia.com

"H. Barker" wrote in message
...

Hi all,

Okay, let me start by introducing our cat, Mina.

She is, we think, about 2-3 years old. She turned up as a stray, eating
the hedgehogs food, last summer. We shooed her off for a bit, but
eventually caved - she was painfully thin. A couple of weeks passed, and
we saw her feeding four kittens. To cut a very long story short, with the
help of a superb local rescue home, Newmarket Cats, we captured mum and
kittens and they took them on board to feed them up and rehome the babies.
Eventually, we took mum back and have had her since about September.

I want to make one thing perfectly clear here and now: we don't consider
ourselves barbarians or cruel people, but we originally had ideas of
maybe, just maybe, keeping her as an indoor only cat. We're on a major
road, we're bird lovers, and to top it all, we have no real facilities to
letting her in at night - we'd have to wait for her to turn up, etc. We
also know you're supposed to keep a cat indoors for a while when you first
get them so they get used to the area, right? Our intention was not to be
cruel, but to be kind. Besides, she wasn't actively seeking to get out...
She wasn't pacing by the door, she wouldn't paw or claw the door or
windows. She seemed quite content, really. [I know there are mixed
opinions about indoor cats, and I know it provokes strong emotions, so I
want to avoid a flame war here and now.]

Just recently we decided that she ought to be going outside a bit, I guess
it was because if she bolted as a door was opened, we wanted her to trust
us enough to come back and not think of it as a desparate bid for freedom.
Anyway, we got a cat flap fitted, which we haven't really prepared for her
use yet. This was a couple of weeks back.

Since then we've been letting her out into our back garden. The back
garden isn't huge, but it's okay. There's a six foot wall at the back all
along it. Down the sides are similar walls and hedges. We can *sort of*
blockade the sides of the house to prevent her from going out down the
sides and by the road, but naturally, being a cat, she'll find a way
eventually :) Beyond the wall at the back is a football club car park, the
club slightly beyond that. At night a bunch of muppets tear up and down in
their cars, so naturally I'd really rather avoid her getting over the
wall.

She's already been over the wall once. I'm getting slightly ahead of
myself here. The other day she managed to climb up onto the back wall and
walked along it, but she got really scared, you could just tell. She was
miaowing and looking really terrified, pacing up and down. I went around
the back via the club car park and she almost leapt into my arms. She
struggled on the way home, but she was okay after a while. Then on the
weekend she got onto the wall and jumped down into the car park. She
disappeared for ages, the first time she'd been out of the house AND out
of sight since we had her, pretty much.

We let her be for about 15 minutes, just to see what she did. In the end
my wife went around and she was cowering at the base of the wall miaowing.
My wife picked her up and passed her over the wall to me. The rest of that
evening she was very affectionate, so we reckon she scared herself a bit.

So we're naturally not the greatest "parents" in the world, and there's
probably a load of things we're doing wrong. We're trying, but it's very
hard. It's amazing how much stress and tension it puts you under. Since
she started going out she's been a different cat; it might only be half an
hour a night, near enough, but she wants to go out and when she's in she
seems distracted. She wasn't like that before. The problem is that when
she's out there, the whole time she's either looking for a way out or she
seems to not know what to do or where to go. Sometimes she just wanders up
and down sniffing everything, which is fine, and sometimes she just lays
under a bush.

I'm really not sure what's for the best. Should we just shove her out,
lock the door and let her do her own thing? Should we sit with her outside
and still prevent her from "escaping"? I mean, there's a million things we
could be doing, but I'm damned if I know what to do for the best. It's a
nightmare, it really is. I'm terrified of her going out on the road. And I
don't want to keep her in all the time if she doesn't want to be in, but
generally she seems fine about being in. The fact that her temperament has
changed since she started going out is a cause for concern simply because
she hasn't been, in my opinion, as affectionate and avoids us both more
than she used to.

So if anyone has any advice, suggestions or helpful words, please, feel
free to send them my way.

Thanks,

H

in article , H.
Barker at wrote on 6/7/04 9:06AM:


Hi all,

Okay, let me start by introducing our cat, Mina.

She is, we think, about 2-3 years old. She turned up as a stray, eating
the hedgehogs food, last summer. We shooed her off for a bit, but
eventually caved - she was painfully thin. A couple of weeks passed, and
we saw her feeding four kittens. To cut a very long story short, with the
help of a superb local rescue home, Newmarket Cats, we captured mum and
kittens and they took them on board to feed them up and rehome the babies.
Eventually, we took mum back and have had her since about September.

I want to make one thing perfectly clear here and now: we don't consider
ourselves barbarians or cruel people, but we originally had ideas of
maybe, just maybe, keeping her as an indoor only cat. We're on a major
road, we're bird lovers, and to top it all, we have no real facilities to
letting her in at night - we'd have to wait for her to turn up, etc. We
also know you're supposed to keep a cat indoors for a while when you first
get them so they get used to the area, right? Our intention was not to be
cruel, but to be kind. Besides, she wasn't actively seeking to get out...
She wasn't pacing by the door, she wouldn't paw or claw the door or
windows. She seemed quite content, really. [I know there are mixed
opinions about indoor cats, and I know it provokes strong emotions, so I
want to avoid a flame war here and now.]

Just recently we decided that she ought to be going outside a bit, I guess
it was because if she bolted as a door was opened, we wanted her to trust
us enough to come back and not think of it as a desparate bid for freedom.
Anyway, we got a cat flap fitted, which we haven't really prepared for her
use yet. This was a couple of weeks back.

Since then we've been letting her out into our back garden. The back
garden isn't huge, but it's okay. There's a six foot wall at the back all
along it. Down the sides are similar walls and hedges. We can *sort of*
blockade the sides of the house to prevent her from going out down the
sides and by the road, but naturally, being a cat, she'll find a way
eventually :) Beyond the wall at the back is a football club car park, the
club slightly beyond that. At night a bunch of muppets tear up and down in
their cars, so naturally I'd really rather avoid her getting over the
wall.

She's already been over the wall once. I'm getting slightly ahead of
myself here. The other day she managed to climb up onto the back wall and
walked along it, but she got really scared, you could just tell. She was
miaowing and looking really terrified, pacing up and down. I went around
the back via the club car park and she almost leapt into my arms. She
struggled on the way home, but she was okay after a while. Then on the
weekend she got onto the wall and jumped down into the car park. She
disappeared for ages, the first time she'd been out of the house AND out
of sight since we had her, pretty much.

We let her be for about 15 minutes, just to see what she did. In the end
my wife went around and she was cowering at the base of the wall miaowing.
My wife picked her up and passed her over the wall to me. The rest of that
evening she was very affectionate, so we reckon she scared herself a bit.

So we're naturally not the greatest "parents" in the world, and there's
probably a load of things we're doing wrong. We're trying, but it's very
hard. It's amazing how much stress and tension it puts you under. Since
she started going out she's been a different cat; it might only be half an
hour a night, near enough, but she wants to go out and when she's in she
seems distracted. She wasn't like that before. The problem is that when
she's out there, the whole time she's either looking for a way out or she
seems to not know what to do or where to go. Sometimes she just wanders up
and down sniffing everything, which is fine, and sometimes she just lays
under a bush.

I'm really not sure what's for the best. Should we just shove her out,
lock the door and let her do her own thing? Should we sit with her outside
and still prevent her from "escaping"? I mean, there's a million things we
could be doing, but I'm damned if I know what to do for the best. It's a
nightmare, it really is. I'm terrified of her going out on the road. And I
don't want to keep her in all the time if she doesn't want to be in, but
generally she seems fine about being in. The fact that her temperament has
changed since she started going out is a cause for concern simply because
she hasn't been, in my opinion, as affectionate and avoids us both more
than she used to.

So if anyone has any advice, suggestions or helpful words, please, feel
free to send them my way.

Thanks,

H



I know you are in the UK, but maybe you could rig up something like this on
your wall. She can have a safe place and you won't have to worry so much:

http://www.catfencein.com/

Karen