The stigma of owning a cat.
Hi everyone:
I haven't posted in this forum in a long while, but have always found it full of great people with much knowledge and love for cats. So I immediately thought of this newsgroup when I wanted to share this perspective about cat ownership. One of my two 10-year-old cats suddenly became ill over the last weekend and she's been in the hospital for the last few days. The vet says her immune system is attacking her red blood cells and platelets, so they've put her on steroids and IV fluids. They've stabilized her enough that I'm about to pick her up in about a half hour. She stopped eating once she got to the vet, so their hope is that she'll start back up once she returns home and gets back to her routine. Otherwise, she may be returning to the vet and spending the holidays there. What I really want to discuss is what I've had to endure over the past few days with friends and co-workers as I deal with my pet's health crisis. I suppose I could be imagining much of this, so bear with me. My general impression is that most dog people or non-pet owners don't seem to understand the need to, for example, stay home from work babysitting a sick cat. I get the feeling as though cat ownership is less valid of an excuse to be at home vs. a sick child or even a sick dog. Jokes typically come up when I discuss how much I've already spent on my cat (about $700 this week). Someone had commented that they're not even sure they'd spend that much on their own child, let alone a cat. I realize they were just ribbing me about it, but you know what they say about there always being a shred of truth behind every joke. On some base level, I think they were actually being sincere. I should point out that these are otherwise good co-workers with whom I get along fine. I'm wondering first if this is just my imagination...if other cat owners out there have felt the sting of this stigma. Perhaps people just have a hard time linking a 6 foot, 2-inch, 235-pound male to two little kitties instead of, say, a Doberman. ;) Would appreciate any thoughts or experiences. Thanks again and happy holidays. |
The stigma of owning a cat.
On Dec 20, 4:46 pm, "David McCracken"
wrote: Hi everyone: I haven't posted in this forum in a long while, but have always found it full of great people with much knowledge and love for cats. So I immediately thought of this newsgroup when I wanted to share this perspective about cat ownership. One of my two 10-year-old cats suddenly became ill over the last weekend and she's been in the hospital for the last few days. The vet says her immune system is attacking her red blood cells and platelets, so they've put her on steroids and IV fluids. They've stabilized her enough that I'm about to pick her up in about a half hour. She stopped eating once she got to the vet, so their hope is that she'll start back up once she returns home and gets back to her routine. Otherwise, she may be returning to the vet and spending the holidays there. What I really want to discuss is what I've had to endure over the past few days with friends and co-workers as I deal with my pet's health crisis. I suppose I could be imagining much of this, so bear with me. My general impression is that most dog people or non-pet owners don't seem to understand the need to, for example, stay home from work babysitting a sick cat. I get the feeling as though cat ownership is less valid of an excuse to be at home vs. a sick child or even a sick dog. Jokes typically come up when I discuss how much I've already spent on my cat (about $700 this week). Someone had commented that they're not even sure they'd spend that much on their own child, let alone a cat. I realize they were just ribbing me about it, but you know what they say about there always being a shred of truth behind every joke. On some base level, I think they were actually being sincere. I should point out that these are otherwise good co-workers with whom I get along fine. I'm wondering first if this is just my imagination...if other cat owners out there have felt the sting of this stigma. Perhaps people just have a hard time linking a 6 foot, 2-inch, 235-pound male to two little kitties instead of, say, a Doberman. ;) Would appreciate any thoughts or experiences. Thanks again and happy holidays. unfortunately i have had to endure simliar, as have a couple of my friends. When i was working as a teacher I had to take my old cat at the time (jasper, bless him) into the vets sometime between 8 and 8.30am at their main surgery in the next town. for most people this would not be an issue as they woudl just roll in to work a little bit later but obviously with teachign and schools everything works to a strict timetable and the kids have to be supervised at all times and if you are gong to be late you have get your missed lessons covered and have a damn good excuse for doing so (for example , you have just died or something). Anyway i asked if someone could cover my morning registration period for my tutor group which woudl start at 8.35 am until 8.55am as i could not guarantee that with all the rush hour traffic around at that time that i would be in school in time. when i asked the assistant head for this he looked at me as though i had just landed from mars or something, and repeated "you want someone to cover your morning registration whilst you take your cat to the vet!!!!! are you having a laugh??!!!", and i had to point out that the cat could not very well take itself to the vets so i had to do it and i had to drop him off in that particular window of time. Basically i was made to feel as though i was aksing the earth of them and when i got back to school by 9am after much stressfull rushing about and going through red lights to get there, i was really made to feel as though i had really 'let the side down' by a number of people for just not being there for some poxy 20 minute registration time (which for the uninitiated is just when you call the register and read out notices to your class, no actual teaching occurs). What made me more annoyed was that for the next 3 days of that week another woman in my dept took the rest of the week off whilst we had to cover her lessons for her, and why? cos her snotty nosed kid had a cold and so of course she has to stay at home tolook after him. when i raised an objection i was told 'it is a sick child and you could not possibly understand'. remember that the woman herself was not ill, just her smelly kid. it happens time and again, and it ****es me off, how else was jasper supposed to get the vets in time to be sedated for his op and dental? he had to be there as early as possible. how dare they give me grief over that, but the *******s did. another time, i had a phone call form my dad tellign me that he had jusy had to take tegan (childhood cat, my chocolate tortie princess, had her since she was a kitten) to the vet as she had thrown up blood and that they had found a massive tumour in her stomach and they were advising to have her put to sleep the next day. Well that was a no brainer for me, i just rang up the school and told them that i would not be in the next day because I had a sick cat and was going to take it to the vet to be put to sleep, i was not going to ASK for permission to take the day off, i was goin to TELL themn that was what i was going to do, SOD 'EM!!!!! i had to take the day off anyway cos i had to drive down to my dad's place and then on to the vet's and I wanted to spend some time with tegan to say goodbye and even if they had done it in the mornign there was NO WAY i woudl have gone back into school to deal with all those nasty little hooligans in there inthe state i knew i would be in, i woudl be a wreck. if it had been a human family member then noone woudl have said anythign and i woudl have probably been allowed the week off or something, but with a cat, who to me and my dad and brother was as much a part of our family as anyone else and who we had had around for 17 years, is often considered nothing to get worked up about, apparantly. If i had asked for the day off to go and say goodbye they woudl have said 'no', which is why i just told them that i was going to take it, no argument. in the end I am glad i did because tegan got a stay of execution and when i went into the vets she perked up and i persuaded them to let her live for a bit longer (ok we did string it out too long inthe end but she did not need to be put down that day, her quality of life was ok at the time). yes i got some vicious comments the next day but quite frankly they can **** off, and i took great pleasure in tellign them how much more valuable a creature and individual little Tegan was compared to some of the lowlifes i had to work with and teach in that school and that i woud have no qualms in doing the same again, and that she had contributed much more love to the world around her than some of th destructive humans i had ever encountered in my life. I pains me to say it but you really are not alone, i have encountered such arseholes myself, but now i just ignore them cos they are all ******s basically and have their priorities all wrong. these are the people who say that cats are aloof and unfriendly, well they obviously have not spent any time in the company of a cat as they woudln't come out with that crap if they had. i could call my cats many things (mad, deranged, bonkers, greedy, dopey, loving, insane, playful, adoring) but never aloof. keep your chin up mate, we are here for you and we do understand what you are goin g through purrs to your poor little mistress, hope she gets better soon bookie |
The stigma of owning a cat.
I know that feeling, though I know some people who take the care of
their cats a bit too far. My mom and I used to run a pet-sitting business and were on good terms with a kitty named "wilbur" who we had sat for a few times. Early in my collge years my mom called me out of the blue and told me that he had died. I started crying just as if a family member had died and my roommate was confused to why I was expending so much effort over a cat. On the other hand, however, one can get so wrapped up in a cat that you lose sight of its better health trying to keep it alive. My parents have a kitty who is most likely completely deaf and is going blind and shes probably 16 years old by now. Though there isn't anything severely wrong with her health, she spends most of the night yowling for someone because she can't hear anything and I think that the cat has actually gone crazy in her old age. I can't tell my parents but they really should put the poor kitty to sleep instead of going to the vet and dumping money on her over an over. I love the cat, but.. enough is enough. |
The stigma of owning a cat.
On Thu, 20 Dec 2007 11:46:56 -0500, "David McCracken"
wrote: unlurk snip I'm wondering first if this is just my imagination...if other cat owners out there have felt the sting of this stigma. Perhaps people just have a hard time linking a 6 foot, 2-inch, 235-pound male to two little kitties instead of, say, a Doberman. ;) Would appreciate any thoughts or experiences. No, it isn't just your imagination. I have 7 cats and get it all the time. The eldest two are 10 years old, too. My own father, who had dogs all the time he was growing up and at 80 still talks about them, used to tell me I should take them out and shoot them whenever I had to take one to the vet. And no, he wasn't kidding. I lost my littlest one Sunday evening. If he knew about it, he'd laugh. To me, that indicates something wrong with *him*, not me. I get it from lots of people at work, too. So, sadly, you're not alone. relurk Thanks again and happy holidays. -- In Memoriam For Roz, Oct. 1, 2007 - 12/16/07 "Rise slowly, angel - it's hard to let you go." |
The stigma of owning a cat.
On Thu, 20 Dec 2007 17:43:28 -0600, Mara wrote:
On Thu, 20 Dec 2007 11:46:56 -0500, "David McCracken" wrote: unlurk snip I'm wondering first if this is just my imagination...if other cat owners out there have felt the sting of this stigma. Perhaps people just have a hard time linking a 6 foot, 2-inch, 235-pound male to two little kitties instead of, say, a Doberman. ;) Would appreciate any thoughts or experiences. No, it isn't just your imagination. I have 7 cats and get it all the time. The eldest two are 10 years old, too. My own father, who had dogs all the time he was growing up and at 80 still talks about them, used to tell me I should take them out and shoot them whenever I had to take one to the vet. And no, he wasn't kidding. I lost my littlest one Sunday evening. If he knew about it, he'd laugh. To me, that indicates something wrong with *him*, not me. I get it from lots of people at work, too. So, sadly, you're not alone. relurk Thanks again and happy holidays. "....Rise up slowly, Angel. It's hard to let you go..." MLB |
The stigma of owning a cat.
Suddenly, without warning, David McCracken exclaimed (12/21/2007 2:16 AM):
Hi everyone: I haven't posted in this forum in a long while, but have always found it full of great people with much knowledge and love for cats. So I immediately thought of this newsgroup when I wanted to share this perspective about cat ownership. I'm wondering first if this is just my imagination...if other cat owners out there have felt the sting of this stigma. Perhaps people just have a hard time linking a 6 foot, 2-inch, 235-pound male to two little kitties instead of, say, a Doberman. ;) Would appreciate any thoughts or experiences. Thanks again and happy holidays. Not just cats. I got a lot of grief from one of my bosses because I had to leave work to deal with a colicky horse. Fortunately, the people I work with now are very understanding, many of them are "furkids only" families, so they understand the importance of a pet when there's no kids in the house. jmc |
The stigma of owning a cat.
I make a point of discussing my pets, etc. only with co-workers and friends
that I know would understand. Two years ago, when my cat became very ill and I had to have him put to sleep, I think there was only one person at work that I could really confide in. Sure, others would have been sympathetic, but I don't think they would truly understand how painful that time was for me. Sue "David McCracken" wrote in message ... Hi everyone: I haven't posted in this forum in a long while, but have always found it full of great people with much knowledge and love for cats. So I immediately thought of this newsgroup when I wanted to share this perspective about cat ownership. One of my two 10-year-old cats suddenly became ill over the last weekend and she's been in the hospital for the last few days. The vet says her immune system is attacking her red blood cells and platelets, so they've put her on steroids and IV fluids. They've stabilized her enough that I'm about to pick her up in about a half hour. She stopped eating once she got to the vet, so their hope is that she'll start back up once she returns home and gets back to her routine. Otherwise, she may be returning to the vet and spending the holidays there. What I really want to discuss is what I've had to endure over the past few days with friends and co-workers as I deal with my pet's health crisis. I suppose I could be imagining much of this, so bear with me. My general impression is that most dog people or non-pet owners don't seem to understand the need to, for example, stay home from work babysitting a sick cat. I get the feeling as though cat ownership is less valid of an excuse to be at home vs. a sick child or even a sick dog. Jokes typically come up when I discuss how much I've already spent on my cat (about $700 this week). Someone had commented that they're not even sure they'd spend that much on their own child, let alone a cat. I realize they were just ribbing me about it, but you know what they say about there always being a shred of truth behind every joke. On some base level, I think they were actually being sincere. I should point out that these are otherwise good co-workers with whom I get along fine. I'm wondering first if this is just my imagination...if other cat owners out there have felt the sting of this stigma. Perhaps people just have a hard time linking a 6 foot, 2-inch, 235-pound male to two little kitties instead of, say, a Doberman. ;) Would appreciate any thoughts or experiences. Thanks again and happy holidays. |
The stigma of owning a cat.
I'm wondering first if this is just my imagination...if other cat owners out there have felt the sting of this stigma. Perhaps people just have a hard time linking a 6 foot, 2-inch, 235-pound male to two little kitties instead of, say, a Doberman. ;) Would appreciate any thoughts or experiences. You aren't imagining it. It's a social stereotype. I'm a 6 foot 1 inch 280 pound man with a Grizzly Adams beard and size 13EE shoes who some say would look more at home on a Harley than in my poofy little Jag. I'm a big, hulking SOB as some have called me and damn it I am supposed to have a big hulking dog as a pet. Men "like us" have Bull Mastiffs or German Shepherds or huge Labrador retrievers. Cats are - well - sissy. And I have lost 2 cats in 2 months and I will be damned if I am telling anybody but a couple of friends and my immediate family. That is because I went though what you are going through when I had a sick cat back in 2000. He was dying of cancer and before that we had a crisis with a huge tumor near his heart. All I am going to say is that I am glad I am a man of peace or some very obnoxious *******s would not be around now. The comments I got ranged from rude, to cruel to knowingly abusive and antagonizing. My ordeal brought out a side of people that we all know is there but are nonetheless shocked to see first hand. To all of them I say screw 'em, They aren't worth the dynamite it would take to blow them to hell. Sorry for the coarse talk, but your post hit home. And yes, us big guys have hearts too and just because we are not some cute little kid or a woman or a "non threatening male" doesn't mean we don't have love and compassion for animals and feel a huge sense of loss when they die. I like dogs but I love cats. Simple as that. The prejudices people harbor are a product of permanent adolescence. Our society does not require anyone to grow up anymore, preferring a state of permanent childhood to over being an adult and along with that comes the same crap you'd expect from an adolescent.. People react they do not think. And they will judge you and they will ostracize you for putting your cats needs first. I lost a job over a sick cat once because my boss and fellow employees were aghast that I took time off to care for my cat. They needed a "team player" as they said. But I would do it again and to hell with what people think. Paul |
The stigma of owning a cat.
"Paul M. Cook" wrote in message news:28Uaj.158$1q4.97@trnddc06... You aren't imagining it. It's a social stereotype. I'm a 6 foot 1 inch 280 pound man with a Grizzly Adams beard and size 13EE shoes who some say would look more at home on a Harley than in my poofy little Jag. I'm a big, hulking SOB as some have called me and damn it I am supposed to have a big hulking dog as a pet. Men "like us" have Bull Mastiffs or German Shepherds or huge Labrador retrievers. Cats are - well - sissy. And I have lost 2 cats in 2 months and I will be damned if I am telling anybody but a couple of friends and my immediate family. That is because I went though what you are going through when I had a sick cat back in 2000. He was dying of cancer and before that we had a crisis with a huge tumor near his heart. All I am going to say is that I am glad I am a man of peace or some very obnoxious *******s would not be around now. The comments I got ranged from rude, to cruel to knowingly abusive and antagonizing. My ordeal brought out a side of people that we all know is there but are nonetheless shocked to see first hand. To all of them I say screw 'em, They aren't worth the dynamite it would take to blow them to hell. Sorry for the coarse talk, but your post hit home. And yes, us big guys have hearts too and just because we are not some cute little kid or a woman or a "non threatening male" doesn't mean we don't have love and compassion for animals and feel a huge sense of loss when they die. I like dogs but I love cats. Simple as that. The prejudices people harbor are a product of permanent adolescence. Our society does not require anyone to grow up anymore, preferring a state of permanent childhood to over being an adult and along with that comes the same crap you'd expect from an adolescent.. People react they do not think. And they will judge you and they will ostracize you for putting your cats needs first. I lost a job over a sick cat once because my boss and fellow employees were aghast that I took time off to care for my cat. They needed a "team player" as they said. But I would do it again and to hell with what people think. Paul Hi Paul: Thank you so much for this. Your comments are exactly the shot in the arm I needed, as were all the replies so far. Your thoughts particularly mirror my own and I appreciate it. I'm glad we're all not alone in this. |
The stigma of owning a cat.
On 20 Dec, 08:46, "David McCracken"
wrote: Hi everyone: I haven't posted in this forum in a long while, but have always found it full of great people with much knowledge and love for cats. *So I immediately thought of this newsgroup when I wanted to share this perspective about cat ownership. You are far from alone when we had to have Fugazi put to sleep I had to go to work the next day but my then boss, a slave himself couldn't have been nicer- he sent me home early, covered me when I needed to go and cry, placed the phone at my disposal should I wish to call home and check on Dave and my other cat and repeatedly told me that if we weren't short staffed he wouldn't have expected me to come in and he would have told the management it was "compassionate leave" He got a fair bit of stick when the managers found out through..One of them said to "How old was she?" (I think he was trying to be nice) and I said she was twelve, (as if it made a difference) his reply was "Is that old for one of them?" As I say I guess he was trying to be nice because he then followed it up with "I really don't know anything about cats" His boss was all for putting my boss and me on a disciplinary over it since he didn't regard being upset over "a mere cat" (his words) just cause to expect me to do less work for one day and get away with it (as he saw it). Fortunately we were both very good at our jobs and each made it perfectly clear we would walk out in support of the other so he let the matter drop the all-time winner through is my mother, when I told her Isis had died she shrugged and said "I suppose you get fond of the things" Lesley Slave of the Fabulous Furballs |
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