The Two Minute Management Course




The Two Minute Management Course

Lesson One:

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw
the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit on my ass like you and do nothing?"

The eagle answered, "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below
the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit
and ate it.
Management Lesson: To be sitting on your ass and doing nothing, you must be
sitting very high up.


Lesson Two:

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the
top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my manure droppings?" replied the
bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of manure
and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of
the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second
branch. Finally after a fourth night, he was proudly perched at the top of
thetree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out
of the tree.
Management Lesson: Bull **** might get you to the top, but it won't keep you
there.

Lesson Three:
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze
and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there,a cow came
by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of
cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing
him out. He lay there all warm and happy and soon began to sing for joy.A
passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the
sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung and promptly
dug him out and ate him.
Management Lessons:
(1) Not everyone who ****s on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of **** is your friend.
(3) When you're in deep ****, it's best to keep your mouth shut.


This ends your two-minute management course.
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