My heart breaks for you, soft
KS wrote in message
...
Sept. 15, 2003: Spook, my best friend, my heart and my soul mate, with
the
biggest cat purrsona I've ever met, suddenly and unexpectedly went to the
Rainbow Bridge. This is my Tribute to her.
To my dearest, wonderful and oh so beautiful Tortie cat Spook.
Words can't express how much I loved you, how my heart aches that you're
no
longer in my life, and how empty my life is without you. I loved every
day that
we had, but I'm sad and angry that it ended so abruptly, way too soon.
You were
still a baby, a 5-1/2 year old kitten.
You were so happy and content, knowing how to enjoy life to its fullest.
You
were like a 2 year old child.
We first met when I missed my bus to work. I don't know how you got there,
by a
school, only 3-4 months old. You were happily playing, and when you went
onto
the wheel of the truck, I knew you wouldn't be safe. I first took you
across the
street to a small park, and tried to walk away, but you wouldn't let me
leave.
You kept running in front of me and rubbing my legs and lying on your
back. I
knew I couldn't leave you. You happily rode home on my shoulder.
You had to stay at the vet for a couple of days because you had ear mites,
and
then I was going to find a home for you. But you totally stole my heart,
and I
knew I couldn't part with you.
I remember your first night here, when you gave my hair a full massage,
purring
the whole time.
I remember your first meeting with Gizmo, when he spent a good 10 minutes
telling you the rules here, making all sorts of strange noises. You
politely sat
in front of him and listened. You were so tiny next to him, and grew to be
more
than twice his size.
I remember your first meal here, when you took your place on the side of
my
opposite those of the other cats. Did you know that was the best place?
For awhile, I was your "home base" for activities. While I was at the
computer,
you'd lie on the table in front of the keyboard. From there, you'd chase
after
one of the other cats, then return to your position in front of me. Back
and
forth, back and forth.
I remember you wanting to touch me with your paw when you were a kitten. I
loved
that. More recently, when you were on the back of the chair, you rested
your paw
on my shoulder. I loved and miss that.
You always let me hold and gently "shake" your paw, so unusual for a cat.
I miss
doing this, especially when you were sitting on your butt on the arm
chair, with
your arm extended.
You knew how to enjoy life and have fun. You knew how to play even by
yourself,
and I miss your soft chirping mews when you were doing so; and then
stopped when
I came to you.
I love and miss so very much watching you on the floor, a chair or the
bed,
stretched out on your back, with your front paws up in the air and curled,
giving me that "Look how cute I am" look. You knew when I needed a laugh,
and
you knew how to make me laugh. And maybe you were laughing at me.
I love and miss your standing against me asking to be picked up and held,
including when I'd get home.
I miss so much holding you in my arms and feeling your soft fur. You would
start
out high on my shoulder, then slip down a notch, and then we'd look in
each
other's eyes.
I love and miss how you would lie by my side, very intentionally lifting
your
rear leg over and onto my arm. And how you'd lie on the table in front of
the
keyboard, often on my hands while I was trying to type.
I love and miss the way you stood up by me when I was on the computer
chair, and
put your paw on my arm, asking for attention.
I remember the times I was bent over and you'd jump on my back, and lie
there.
I love and miss the way you went after the atomic ball, often jumping into
the
air and grabbing it with both paws, or running after it full speed when it
rolled out of the living room.
I love and miss how you stayed by my head, sometimes pacing, when I was on
my
belly looking for your atomic ball under furniture. I always felt your
happiness
that I was doing this for you. You were always sure that I'd find it, and
I
think you were disappointed when I didn't.
I love and miss how you managed to get to your toys when I had them on a
cabinet, especially the toys on a wand/stick, and bring them down to the
floor,
and the smaller ones onto my bed.
I love and miss Spook the Shredderer. I let you shred paper towels because
you
were so cute doing it.
I love and miss your backwards headbutts, into my "middle," that you did
standing up against the kitchen sink in front of me.
I love and miss when I'd be preparing food for myself, you'd put your paw
on my
arm and pull it towards you to smell what it is. You had to know. This was
the
last thing I saw you do, at about midnight the night before. You seemed
okay
then.
Soy cheese. You thought it was the real thing.
I love and miss so much your cuddling with me on the comfy chair, altho I
never
liked your biting. I do miss your kneeding on me, even though it was often
on my
bare skin.
I love and miss your jumping into that chair over the arm, landing on your
back,
and grabbing the arm with your nails, then lying on your back on the
chair. You
were so funny!
I love and miss all the funny positions you had on the chair, often
sitting on
your butt, even while grooming. And if not grooming, putting your arm on
the arm
of the chair. I bet you were imitating the way I sit! I especially love
when you
leaned over the arm of the chair, with your arm outstretched, and I would
shake
your paw.
It was only in the previous few months when I introduced you to grooming
brushes. You all but grabbed the brush from my hand, letting me know in no
uncertain terms how much you loved it.
I love and miss how you wanted to grab and bite my hand when you were on
your
back, but you were never fast enough. I bet that was intentional.
I love and miss your burrowing under the blankets, and curling up into a
ball.
I'd lift part of it to make sure you were breathing, and you looked so
damn cute
from your little blanket hole. You'd often kneed, in your own lying down
position, while in there, and sometimes I'd feel the soft presses against
my
body.
I love and miss playing "ferocious" with you, once I knew to wrap my hand
in a
thick blanket. I loved the ferocious look you'd have on your face. The
first
time I did that, you purrrred your heart out, because you loved to hold
onto my
hand and kick and bite. You were a terrific "rabbit kicker."
I love and miss the way you always knew when I was changing the bed linen,
even
if you were napping in the living room, and you always got under the
bottom
sheet so I couldn't finish the job. Only the last time, you just sat
there. It
wasn't a strong enough way to tell me that something was wrong. I think
you
didn't want me to know, did you?
I love and miss your game of shower curtain boxing, with you batting the
curtain
at me from in or on the tub, and grab my hand.
I love and miss how you stood up with your claws in the screen door,
watching me
when I was on the terrace. I'm now treasuring all the little holes you
left.
I love and miss the way you'd suddenly run from room to room. And
sometimes
follow me from room to room. And come to me when I called your name.
I love and miss that you were never afraid of the vacuum cleaner, so
unusual for
a cat. You were always so interested in what I was doing. I remember when
you
let me "vacuum" you.
I now miss the sound of empty soda bottles falling off the fridge. I knew
this
meant that you were in the cabinets above. Sure, I yelled at you to get
out, but
I loved that you did this.
I love and miss how you always made yourself comfortable among all the
stuff on
the big table, whenever I started looking for something on it. You wanted
to be
near me, and I loved that.
I loved how you jumped up to reach my hand when it was on a light switch.
I now miss you jumping into a carrier when I was trying to get another cat
in.
I loved so much how you always charmed other people.
When the pet sitter, Leslie, was here for the first time, I was sitting at
the
computer, and she sat on a chair next to me. You got onto and lied on the
top of
the chair, intently watching and listening, like you were part of our
meeting.
I remember when someone was in our apartment for business reasons. When he
tried
to write something and leaned on the table, you jumped up to see what he
had.
Then he moved away, and you jumped back on the floor. Then he went back to
the
table, and so did you.
When you were at the vet at the Animal Medical Center, only two weeks
before you
left me, the vet admired your personality, behavior and furs. When she was
finished with you and examining Bootsie, you were allowed to be loose in
the
exam room. You actively explored it, occasionally rubbing against the
vet's
legs, and even jumped up on the table while Bootsie was being examined.
When I
put both carriers on the exam table, you jumped up and got into the
smaller,
hard one which you came in. After a minute, I took you out and put you in
the
soft, larger carrier. But you got right out and went back into the hard
one, and
stayed there, facing front and looking content, even when the vet returned
with
Bootsie. It was obvious you were saying, let's go home.
You enjoyed your life to the fullest, but you were robbed of a full life.
If
there was anything I could have done to keep you alive longer, I would
have.
And, Spook, you were incredibly beautiful, with a very expressive face,
beautiful eyes, and the cutest little mouth.
But most important, my sweet and wonderful Spook, you made me feel
important to
you, for more than just food, shelter and skritches.
There'll never be another cat like you. There can't be. Gawd, I miss you.
Your Mom.
--
email: furpods at mindspring dot com
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