Jo Firey wrote:

Given the dearth of decent TV programming lately, especially on Saturday
night, we will likely turn off everything for an hour and sit outside and
talk. Sunset isn't until 7:30 so we can enjoy the twilight and watch the
stars come out. The moon is at 50 so shouldn't be an issue. Wish I thought
a lot of lights would be out so we could really see the stars. I suppose we
could drive further out in the country, but that would rather defeat the
purpose.

This is a wonderful idea. But I'm sure it's a whole lot easier and more
fun to do when you have a "we" to enjoy the twilight and the stars and
moon, and drive out to the country.

Imagine sitting alone in the dark for an hour. Of course, if you're never
alone, then that probably sounds great. Loneliness is one of those things
that gets *worse* the more you do it. YOu don't ever get used to it, it
just gets harder and harder.

I know, because I was in a couple for 15 years. And during that time,
"time alone" was a precious commodity. And when I was first made single
(after the breakup of the 15-year relationship), I enjoyed my singlehood
a great deal. Loved going to movies by myself, hanging alone, not having
to answer to anyone. But now, 9 years later, it's gotten old. Really,
REALLY old.

I changed the subject so as not to hijack the thread. Everyone I know
who is participating in this is part of a "We". And I'm getting the
Weekend Blues again, because I tried to make plans for tonight and was
unsuccessful. So I'm going to be alone tonight, but I decided to make
the best of it this time and not sit around the house by myself all night.
That was one of the things that made me so deeply depressed last week.
I decided I was going to go out and do something tonight - go to a movie,
or hang out at a coffeeshop, just so I wasn't cocooning in my house.

It's a very precarious situation for me, because when I start feeling
like this, all I really want to do is roll up in a ball, and I could
easily end up staying in the house all night, just because I'm too depressed
to move. That just makes things worse. So I have to go out tonight. But it's
not a safe place to just go walking under the stars, so I will need to
go someplace where, unfortunately, electricity will be used...

Any suggestions??

Joyce

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