On Aug 1, 12:53*pm, The Other Mike wrote:
Wife and I have been together for about 10 years (married and living
together for 4). *She's had her cat since he was a kitten...he's 18
years old now. *He's going downhill...he has tumors in his chest and
spots on his liver. *Over the past 4 months or so he started throwing
up alot and losing alot of weight. *Over the past 3 weeks, his abdomen
is filling up with fluids and he's pretty bloated. * Over this time
we've been to the vet numerous times (and a vet hospital in the city
besides our local vet). *All said that it's probably cancer and that's
why the abdomen is filling with fluids. *We don't want to put him
through more tests due to his age (and the vets agreed)....we've had
his abdomen drained a few times but it doesn't really seem to help
much since they can't get too much out without sedating him. *He is
still eating and drinking, but sleeps all day and doesn't seem
interested in much...can't really move around with his bloated belly.
The problem is...I think it's time to put him down....my wife doesn't.
She wants to keep trying to have him drained and is waiting for that
definitive sign that it's time. * She says that since he's still
interested in eating and purrs once in a while (it's actually rare
anymore) that he's not ready. *What do you think? *And if you agree
with me...how would you convince your spouse without causing
resentment ? * She's had the cat since he was a kitten so in my mind,
it's her that needs to make that final decision...but I don't want the
cat to suffer waiting for it.

Oh my goodness. I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through....and
your wife & kitty. I've had my cat prior to my marriage as well. My
cat is now almost 15. I can only imagine how much your wife loves her
cat. It's really hard.

I would imagine every situation is different as to when we let our
beloved pets go. Has the vet discussed the situation with her?
Perhaps explained to her what the cat is feeling right now....pain,
etc.?? Sometimes we need to hear the vet tell us the scientific
truth. Then, perhaps she will put two and two together. Everyone
does this in their own time.

A great book in helping with a pet's passing is a children's book
called "Cat Heaven". There's one for dogs too (Dog Heaven). I give
this book to my adult friends whose pets have passed. It's very
comforting.