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Old February 24th 04, 08:44 AM
Hailey
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This is written for people who are interested in knowing the truth. The
how's and why's of the way things happened and came out. I am not

expecting
any answers. This is not the purpose of it. I am not defending my actions.

I
am defending my love for cats. This is the only thing I intend to really
pass on. I am like you all. I love my babies and want the best for them.

So
here it goes... The truth.

I was born in 1980.
Mom had one of those beautiful and fluffy Himalyan cat. From what I was
told, even when I was a little baby, this cat would lay beside me on the
floor and I would pull his hair and giggle. He never seemed to get

annoyed.
His name was Pacha. He was an inside only cat, was neuteured, and his

front
paws were declawed. I grew up with him and mom passed on me her knowledge
about cats. She taught me everything she knew, everything she had learned
from having cats since she was a baby, herself. She had no special

education
about animals, lived a normal life, growing up, and then making a family
and providing for it.
I grew up adopting my parents opinions until I was big enough to make my
own... but I didn't get up one morning, knowing all the good things and
forgetting the bad. I had to learn, little by little, what Life really was
about.
When I was 11, we moved into a house, and mom and dad gave me that cute

tiny
little cat, Minouche. They took her from a friend's mommy cat. My parents
had arranged it all already, Minouche would have her front paws declawed,
just like Pacha had. I never objected. Little did I know back then... and

I
was far from thinking this could have a bad impact. Mom had a good way of
explaining things. At 11, you don't realise those things.
All my life, people called me "the cats girl". My love for them was nearly
overwhelming. They were all I could talk about. Being a shy person and

very
reserved, I felt confident enough with this topic to actually talk with

the
other kids. I became the one people came to for advice. Just as my mom had
been.
Minouche grew and had one litter. I was 12 years old... and had asked my
parents to let her have babies. I wanted to witness a gestation, birth and
growing up of kittens. We had planned to have her spayed right after. But
life did what life often does. It went fast, and it wasn't long before
Minouche had a second litter. And Minouche's first baby, that we kept, had
one litter too. in 18 months, a total of 7 kittens. We kept two of them

and
found families for the other ones. It is after those two last litters that
we finally had them spayed. No more babies. We kept Frimousse's first

baby,
Gamine. She never had babies, she was spayed like the others. By the time

we
had our "trio", I was 13 years old. I remember getting bad shivers when I
asked mom what they were really doing when they declaw a cat. I didn't say
anything, I didn't feel it was my decision. "it is safer" would say mom.
"It's better for the furniture", would say dad.
So I spent my teenage years with 3 adorable, spayed, front paws declawed
cats. Very special and different one from another, although they are all

on
the same line of "family".
A couple of years ago, I started to feel sick. After doctor visits, they
came up with a diagnosis of generalised anxiety disorder with some panic
symptoms, along with Depression that turned out, with time, to be one heck
of a bad one. I fought my way through all that. Minouche, Frimousse and
Gamine became the only alive "things" I could touch and hug. They saved my
life. A year ago, I went to get help... a councelor. I've been seeing her
ever since and She helped me a lot too. It took long, but finally, With
time, I learned to express myself better, tell my opinions. I learned that

i
was entitled to my own opinions and that it was not wrong to share them. I
also learned to be more open minded. I learned to listen better and learn
from others. I learned to accept advice. The whole thing is still new to

me.
2003 has been hell in my head. 2004 started out much better.

I never thought I'd have another cat before my Minouche would pass away

(Fri
mousse and Gamine having my parents has mom and dad). Well... Minouche is
still alive, and last summer, my fiance and I fell in love with a stray

cat
that had adopted us from the first day she visited. I still live at my
parents. I convinced them to allow me to keep the kitten until I'd move

out
and would bring her with. They accepted. Their condition: declaw.
I was still clumsy in it, but I used what I had learned with my councelor.

I
told my opinion. I said I was against declawing and that I would rather
teach Misha to scratch where she was allowed, and play soft with us. They
accepted. So Misha is not declawed, she has all her claws and will keep

them
for the rest of her life.
One of my other first things I thought about was to have her spayed. As

time
went, though, a couple of things happened.
1) I got stuck in my thinking that it's good for a cat to have babies

once.
2) I ran out of money
3) I was missing having kittens at home.
4) I actually thought this would be like a ray of sun in my life.

Something
nice to follow. A good way to start the year after the battled I had

fought.

I didn,t think further than that and I kept post poning taking an
appointment for her to the vet. At 6 months old, she starting acting funny
and I thought she was going into heat. I came for advice, on a newsgroup.
Yep... back then what I was really looking for was an answer to "is it
possible so early". I acted "nice" so people would leave me alone. When I
got my answer I went away and let things be. Misha didn't go in heat back
then... but then she did in very early January. And this time I knew. It

was
obvious. I let things go there too. Around the same time, I had some huge
steps going well with my work with my councelor. I also found the right
medication and it was finally kicking in. ( i take paxil 10mgs)

I came back to newsgroup for advice about Misha's food and eating pattern

as
a 40 days pregnant cat. There I expected comments, but never so strong as
what I received. I got scared and felt guilty, with reason. So as everyone
who's feeling attacked, I took a defensive position and tried to find
anything I could to defend my point, until I had read a few posts with
extremely good information and very well explained facts. That evening, I
thought very much about the whole thing.... I knew it was wrong for Misha

to
have babies, but I had pushed that feeling aside since the start, because

I
was too selfish to think otherwise.
That's where I decided to let the newsgroup people know that they had done
their job. They had directed me towards the right direction. A direction I
had known for a long time but refused to take. This time, I had

understood
for real, and intended to do things better in the future. There again,

there
were sceptical people, as there always are. I was goof enough to try to
convince them of my honesty. Truth is, it doesn't matter who believes me

(or
in me) and who doesn't. What matters is what I learned from this exchange.

So there you go. I have 4 awesome cats. 3 spayed and front paws declawed.
One with all her claws, but 53 days pregnant. I am done feeling bad for
what's already happened, and I thank you for teaching me what to do in the
future regarding cats and spaying / neuteuring.
My love for cats is such that I am willing to learn everything that will
make their life better. Being a mommy to my cats didn't come with a

manual.
I did like most. I started with the information that was passed on to me

as
a child. From a different time, different views on animals.
I wish I had been less self centered back in september. I would have taken
the NG information more seriously. I was fighting my own battle. One that
many people unfortunately know. One that is hidden and hurts like hell.

But
I got over it and came back to my normal loving self, With an enhenced
hability for listening to other people's opinion and expressing my own.

Everywhere you go, in everything you do, There are always people that will
stand in your way and make things harder. Such is Life. Right now, I am
happy for the exchange we had. I am happy for what I learned. I am happy

for
the future of my cats and the ones I will save in the future. Hopefully
there will be more and more people like me, willing to switch their
decisions and opinions for the better. Until then, I will keep coming to
this newsgroup. Because I am part of you all. I belong here as much as you
do, and I will help you all redirecting the ones who do not see things the
right way.

We evoluate everyday, through our whole life.

*friendly hugs to the ones who want*
A new Mia, the real one.


Dear Mia,

I know that probably sounds insincere, the *dear* part, after my post to you
the other day. I was disappointed, that is true. I did feel that my support
of you and the changes you made was unfounded, that is true.

But the truth is, it was all in the past and my God in Heaven, if we cannot
walk away from past mistakes and continue on our road of life, then we die.
Even the new batch of kitties is in the past. All you can do is remedy the
mistakes you made, you cannot relive the past and worry and fret over what
has happened.
Your letter was very touching and I want to thank you for being a far bigger
person than myself, for opening yourself up once again to undoubted
criticism. You are strong Mia, by your letter, you've come a tremendous
ways. You are courageous and strong and powerful and wise. Don't let
anyone take that away from you.

Mia, I am sorry for my post. I am chastised, though I realize that was not
the purpose of your post. I am humbled.. though I know you did not write
your story to humble anyone either. you simply offered your story and I
appreciate the truths you have written, about your life, your choices, your
reasons, your new choices. Your letter was well written and I am glad to
have had the opportunity to read it. I am proud of you. Yes, I said that
once before, and meant it then, and then recanted. I went and did my own
"research" and was angry at what I saw, but in retrospect, is any of us
guilty of making mistakes? Certainly not me and I don't want to live in that
proverbial glass house for that very reason!
Anyway, thank you for your letter, and for sharing your life.
Now go and breed no more G

Sincerely,

Hailey