CatNipped wrote:

How inexcusably rude! I've been saying this for years - there is one form
of prejudice, intolerance and discrimination that it's still perfectly OK
for people to display - prejudice against large people (I won't even say
overweight because if you're fit and healthy then what you weigh may be just
right for your body type and you're not overweight at all!).

I don't have any problem with the word "fat" myself. It's just an innocent
adjective, like "tall", "short", and "thin." There's no judgement implied,
unless the speaker adds a negative attitude to it.

I wouldn't use the word "fat" to describe a person I don't know well,
though, because so many people feel deeply insulted or humiliated by it.
So I use words like "big", "large", "heavy", or, perhaps "zaftig", a
Yiddish word for chubby or full-figured. (The word literally means
"juicy", which tells you something about that culture's attitudes about
body size! )

The word "overweight" really sets my teeth on edge, especially when
directed at me. It's *inherently* judgemental - the implication is that
you've gone *over* some norm. But as you said, if one is fit and healthy,
then what's the problem?

The irony of it is that many people consider the word "fat" to be rude,
and say "overweight" to be polite. My reactions to each word is quite
the opposite.

I lost 100 pounds and it did make all my medical problems go away (I
was not supposed to weigh what I weighed for my body type). However,
I had no idea how it would change how people treated me.

Isn't that amazing? And being treated differently, in both obvious and
subtle ways, day in and day out, is going to change your perception of
yourself and the world. It's going to change how you feel day in and day
out. Little things you'd never notice, like getting smiles from people
on the bus instead of unfriendly stares or glances. When you were bigger,
you might have just dismissed that sort of unfriendliness as people's
bad moods or general unhappiness with life. To suddenly start being
treated with more respect and warmth, in stores, on the street, etc, must
change a person's outlook and mood a great deal. Then they'll say, "Ever
since I lost weight, I've been so much happier!" They think it's the fat
that makes them unhappy, when in fact, it's the prejudice.

I take no credit in losing all that weight, my surgeon did all the work (I
do exercise a lot, but I always liked to exercise, I just couldn't at my
weight), but people keep congratulating me like I'd won the lottery. They
tell me how good I look

I know someone who has intractable seizure disorder, and several years
ago she had a severe episode of uncontrolled seizures, which resulted in
her being hospitalized for 3 weeks, part of the time in Intensive Care.
During that time, she lost about 30 pounds. By the time she was released,
she looked gaunt, frail and sickly (which she was - she could hardly walk
across the room on her own). But people saw her and told her how great
she looked after losing all that weight. OK, maybe part of that was just
their attempt to make her feel better about the fact that she really
looked TERRIBLE - at least they could focus on her weight loss. But she
was really annoyed at people's harping on her weight, as though something
wonderful had occurred. We used to make jokes about the All! New! Really
Effective! SEIZURE DIET!! Lose 30 pounds in 3 weeks - wheeee!

I'd like to see what would happen if a television show made fun
of a member of an ethnic minority like they make fun of large people.
I'd like to see what would happen if employers discriminated against
a member of an ethnic minority like they discriminate against large
people.

The only reason people can't get away with being so openly racist is
because people of ethnic minorities have worked for their right to be
treated with respect. Bigots who want to discriminate will do it unless
the victims of bigotry make it very uncomfortable for them to continue
doing it.

There actually is a movement for accepting people of all sizes, and
treating everyone respectfully and equally, regardless of size. In
some cities in the US, laws have been recently enacted forbidding
discrimination on the basis of size, which means you can sue if you think
you've been discriminiated against. (Note: if the job you applied for
requires you to crawl into tiny spaces, and you didn't get the job because
you're too fat to fit into the spaces, that is *not* legal discrimination.
It's only discrimination if your characteristic doesn't affect your
ability to perform the duties.) I'm proud to say that San Francisco has
such a law - in fact, I helped it to pass. The state of Michigan also
has an anti-size discrimination law. But it's true that in most places,
people can openly deny you employment or housing, just because they don't
like the way you look.

Oh my, I just looked at the length of this post - this is one of my
favorite rants, so I get carried away. But I do think this is a very
serious issue.

I agree that size discrimination and fat phobia is a serious issue. It
is a life-and-death issue, too, not just because of people who starve
themselves, but also because many doctors won't even treat you if you're
fat, because they figure that whatever's wrong with you will go away if
you lose weight. It's a real problem.

Hmm... perhaps we need an ongoing thread called "Rant", for those of us
who are inclined in that direction, to vent our various pet peeves.

Joyce, member of the Rant Brigade