Hugs and purrs for all of you.

--
Joy

Don't believe everything you think

"Jill" wrote in message
...
Hi folks! First things first - purrs to all who need them.

I'm using the computer at my parents' next door neighbors house. Her
little black kitty, Fedder, came in to say "hi" to me a little while
ago I sure do miss Persia and Peaches.

Developments: I arrived Monday night. Mom had neglected to tell me
she was having more than just problems dealing with Dad's dementia.
Apparently she'd been bleeding from a not so good place for almost a
week. Tuesday morning she said she had to go to the doctor. She went
and they sent her back home to pack a bag. She was admitted to the
hospital that day. Fortunately it's just a flare-up of her
diverticulosis (as opposed to 'itis'). She's on antibiotics and some
other medication. They might send her home today; tomorrow at the
latest.

Meanwhile she was worrying herself sick about me trying to handle Dad
by myself. I managed. He actually had a "good" day on Wednesday. He
was cheerful and talkative, even though I had no idea what he was
talking about half the time. (He still doesn't know who I am but
seems to accept me.) I got him to eat quite a bit that day.

Thursday was another story. I may have mentioned Mom hasn't been able
to get him to go to a doctor. Since he finished his chemo almost two
years ago he has consistently refused to even have a checkup. Hence,
he doesn't have a primary care physician (PCP). This creates a lot of
problems, as you will see.

Thursday morning he got up, put on his long john's, his jacket and his
shoes and insisted he had an appointment for bloodwork and a CAT
scan. I seized the opportunity to get him seen by a doctor. I called
one of their neighbors; he's a retired M.D. His wife came over and we
took Dad to the hospital in my folks' car. Her husband followed so he
could take her back home.

I got Dad in to see an ER doc, using the reason that he had fallen and
scraped himself up pretty badly last weekend (he had, but Mom couldn't
get him to get it looked at). I also indicated he has severe
dementia. My goal was to get him admitted so we could start the
process of placing him in a care facility. Mom can't handle him and
let's face it, I can't stay here forever. Everyone was just
wonderful, EXCEPT for the ER doc. When I was trying to explain what
was going on she said, "Is he in danger of falling again? Because
being confused is NOT an emergency." Excuse me?! Look at him, lady.
He can barely walk. He falls all the time. What do *you* think? I
was about in tears (I tend to cry when I get angry, isn't that weird?)
trying to get her to understand. I said look, if I take him back home
and he falls we'll just be right back here all over again. Would you
prefer to deal with him now or later? And as for him not having a
PCP, how can he have one if we can't get him to go to the doctor?
We're here now, dammit, so help me out.

At any rate, he was then seen by another physician (a psychiatrist, I
think) who admitted him for evaluation. This guy was much more
sensitive to what was going on. I talked with him and with a hospital
social worker about our options. Then I talked to Mom. We're in the
process of trying to get him placed in the Altzheimer's wing of the
nursing home in town. Don't know if there's a waiting list or not...
we haven't gotten that far yet. At this point it doesn't look like
he's coming back home Lord knows if he does I don't know how we'll
ever get him to leave again.

While he was still in the room in the ER waiting to be taken to his
room he got very agitated and was trying to leave. He was hooked to
all sorts of machinery but that didn't stop him. He tried to pull out
his catheter so he could put his pants on. They gave him a shot of
Haldol to calm him down but that didn't work. They finally gave him
something else (Ativan?) to knock him out.

This morning when I called they said he ate all his breakfast but then
he was trying to leave again. They had to put him in restraints. The
nurse assigned to him asked, "He seems confused; is he always like
this?" (sigh) What does the chart say? Of course he's always like
this.

Anyway, just wanted to say hi. I'll get the neighbor's cat Fedder to
purr for everyone who needs them. A few purrs for my parents and me
wouldn't hurt, either.

Jill