ROTFLOL!
--
Joy
"You can never do a kindness too soon because you never know how soon it
will be too late." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
"CatNipped" wrote in message
...
Cast of Characters:
Sammy - 5 ½-month-old female kitten
Mommy - MUCH older female human
Daddy - EXTREMELY old male fart, um, human
Mommy and daddy set up the folding table in the garage in the hopes of
playing a rousing game of ping pong. Sammy hears the commotion and
comes
charging in through the cat flap to see what's going on. Daddy takes
the
plastic ball in one hand, the ping pong paddle in the other and serves
the
ball over the net to Mommy. Mommy takes a wild swing at the ball and
misses. The ball goes ricocheting off the garage wall with Sammy in
hot
pursuit of the ball and Mommy in hot pursuit of Sammy. Mommy pries
the wet
ball out of Sammy's jaws, wipes it off on her shorts, and hands it
back to
Daddy - sco Daddy 1, Mommy 0 - Daddy's serve.
Daddy takes the plastic ball in one hand, the ping pong paddle in the
other
and serves the ball over the net to Mommy. Mommy swings, hits the
ball too
hard, and sends the ball flying over Daddy's head to ricochet off the
garage
wall with Sammy in hot pursuit of the ball and Daddy in hot pursuit of
Sammy. Daddy pries the wet ball out of Sammy's jaws, wipes it off on
his
shorts, and prepares to serve the ball - sco Daddy 2, Mommy 0 -
Daddy's
serve.
Sammy is now getting the hang of the game. Daddy takes the plastic
ball in
one hand, the ping pong paddle in the other and serves the ball over
the net
to Mommy. Sammy jumps up to Mommy's side of the table and bats at the
ball
with her paw. Amazingly, the ball sails over the net and bounces once
on
Daddy's side of the table. Daddy is just watching in amazement and
lets the
ball fly off his end of the table to ricochet off the garage door.
Sammy
takes off in hot pursuit of the ball and Daddy takes off in hot
pursuit of
Sammy. Daddy pries the wet ball out of Sammy's jaws, wipes it off on
his
shorts, and tries to figure out whose serve it is - sco Daddy 2,
Sammy 0,
Mommy 0 - Sammy's serve.
Sammy knows it's her serve, so she jumps up on the table waiting to be
handed the ball. Mommy picks Sammy up and gently places her on the
garage
floor. Mommy argues that, since Sammy was sitting on her side of the
table,
it should be Mommy's serve. Daddy knows Mommy's skill level at ping
pong,
does not feel threatened by giving up the advantage, and hands Mommy
the
ball. Mommy takes the plastic ball in one hand, the ping pong paddle
in the
other, drops the plastic ball, and swings at it with the paddle.
Mommy
completely misses the ball which goes rolling off the side of the
table with
Sammy in hot pursuit of the ball and Mommy in hot pursuit of Sammy.
Mommy
pries the wet ball out of Sammy's jaws, wipes it off on her shorts,
and
hands the ball to Daddy - sco Daddy 2, Sammy 0, Mommy 0 - Daddy's
serve.
Daddy takes the plastic ball in one hand, the ping pong paddle in the
other
and serves the ball over the net to Mommy. Mommy finally manages to
hit the
ball over the net to make it bounce once on Daddy's side of the table.
Daddy, not expecting this amazing development, is in the middle of
scratching the back of his head with his paddle and misses the ball.
The
ball goes sailing off the end of the table with Sammy in hot pursuit
of the
ball and Daddy in hot pursuit of Sammy. Daddy pries the wet ball out
of
Sammy's jaws, wipes it off on his shorts, and hands the ball to
Mommy -
score Daddy 2, Sammy 0, Mommy 0 - Mommy's serve.
Mommy takes the plastic ball in one hand, the ping pong paddle in the
other,
drops the plastic ball, and swings at it with the paddle. Mommy
manages to
hit her own hand with the paddle while completely missing the ball
which
goes rolling off the side of the table with Sammy in hot pursuit of
the ball
and Mommy in hot pursuit of Sammy. Mommy pries the wet ball out of
Sammy's
jaws, wipes it off on her shorts, and hands the ball to Daddy - score
Daddy
2, Sammy 0, Mommy 0 - Daddy's serve.
Daddy takes the plastic ball in one hand, the ping pong paddle in the
other
and starts to serve the ball. Sammy, angry at being repeatedly denied
her
serve, makes a preemptive strike on Daddy's forearm. Daddy, whose
serving
arm is suddenly heavier by eight pounds, misses the ball but sends
Sammy
sliding into the net on the end of his swing. Eight pounds of kitten
cause
the lynch pins holding the net to come loose and the net wraps itself
around
Sammy. Sammy, startled by being attacked by a green snake, jumps off
the
table trailing the net behind her. Mommy runs in pursuit of Sammy,
disentangles her from the net, gently places Sammy on the garage
floor, then
sets the net back up on its lynch pins.
Daddy, bemused by the commotion, asks Mommy what the score is and
whose
serve it is. Mommy tells Daddy that the score is: Daddy 2, Sammy1,
Mommy 3
and that it is Mommy's serve. Daddy narrows his eyes and gives Mommy
"the
look", but doesn't argue the point - score Daddy 2, Sammy 1, Mommy 3 -
Mommy's
serve.
Mommy takes the plastic ball in one hand, the ping pong paddle in the
other,
drops the plastic ball, and swings at it with the paddle. Before
Mommy can
hit either the ball or her own hand, Sammy, angry at the green snake
that
attacked her, jumps onto the middle of the table seeking revenge. The
plastic ball bounces once on the table and then bounces off of Sammy's
hiney. Sammy, startled by the sudden touch on her hiney, levitates
three
feet off the table's surface convinced that she has been bitten by the
green
snake. The ball bounces once more, Mommy has the presence of mind to
hit
the ball with the paddle and send it over the net. Daddy, chortling
at
Sammy's antics, misses the ball which goes rolling off of his side of
the
table with Sammy in hot pursuit of the ball and Daddy in hot pursuit
of
Sammy. Daddy pries the wet ball out of Sammy's jaws, wipes it off on
his
shorts, and tries to figure out whose serve it is - sco Daddy 2,
Sammy 3,
Mommy 7 - Sammy's serve (according to Mommy, anyway).
Sammy knows it's her serve, so she jumps up on the table waiting to be
handed the ball. Mommy picks Sammy up and gently places her on the
garage
floor. Mommy argues that, since Sammy was sitting on her side of the
table,
it should be Mommy's serve. Daddy knows Mommy's skill level at ping
pong,
does not feel threatened by giving up the advantage, and hands Mommy
the
ball. Mommy takes the plastic ball in one hand, the ping pong paddle
in the
other, drops the plastic ball, and swings at it with the paddle.
Mommy
completely misses the ball which goes rolling off the side of the
table with
Sammy in hot pursuit of the ball and Mommy in hot pursuit of Sammy.
Sammy,
who is now really angry about being cheated in regards to her serve,
thrown
across the table, and attacked twice by a green snake, chomps down on
the
plastic ball crunching it into disservice. There is no other plastic
ball
available. Game, set, and point, the match goes to Sammy.
Mommy and Daddy head upstairs to get the Monopoly game out of the
closet.
Hugs,
CatNipped
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