On Jan 27, 8:07 pm, wrote:
[...] I'm willing to be as patient as needed, but
I'd feel better if I had a bit of a game plan because playing by ear
isn't working so well.
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You are WONDERFUL! As the prior folks have mentioned, it takes
t.i.m.e.

Good news is, your boys aren't beating up on her--you are all very
lucky. It's just a matter of helping her adjust, and isolating her
then reintroducing her slowly will teach her over time that she's not
in danger.

Don't worry about petting her right away. Sit with her, let her climb
on you, and leave the petting for later, when she seems to invite it.
Even then, don't overdo, or she'll show you when she's had enough!

If you get clobbered a couple of times, don't take it personally--
she's going to be skittish for a while.

My Butch was a shelter fellow. He was always a love, but would get
spooked out of nowhere even months after I had him, and I have scars
to prove it. He seemed to realize mid-bite or scratch that he was
attacking the wrong creature, and he'd run off quickly--you could
almost hear him swearing, "Oh, $hit! I did it agAin!" Sympathy never
stopped me from yelling after him, "Now I know WHY you were in a
shelter!" ...but not once did I consider sending him back.

Enjoy your new challenges--and embrace the boys often. They're making
this all a lot easier on you than most cats would.