Alphonze wrote:

Min, you will recall, is living with my father and stepmother while I
am travelling the world. She's just returned from their summer
holidays in Cornwall (S.W. England) and she was kind enough to send me
a postcard:

------------------

Dear daddy

My foster-humans have at long last taken me on another holiday, only
the
second one I have had since I came here. Although I was quite excited,
I pretended not to be and had a tantrum because I couldn't find my
espadrilles. They had the cheek to load me into their tatty Citroen,
so I
was sick in it before they got five miles.

The cottage was all right but they didn't let me out to play -
actually I
wasn't too upset about it once I'd seen the size of the buzzards I
would
have to chase. I lived in the sun on a window-sill that was nearly
four
feet deep! so I didn't roll off once. When the buzzards could see me,
I
lived under a chair. The humans ate out all the time so I just got
tinned
food until I found out how to order mouse with Cornish cream. And
there was
a soppy dog next door that everyone said was cute, but I couldn't see
anything to get gooey over. I threw its ball into a nettle patch.

Then they bent their Citroen (ha-ha-ha) and had to borrow a Fiesta,
and I
laughed fit to burst to see them squeezing their enormous tummies into
that
every day! Then they made me get into it for the journey home so I was
sick
before they got five miles.

They went to see all sorts of exciting things - like a submerged
village
called Boscastle, a big greenhouse called Eden, a park full of otters
to
chase, a nerdy (I mean specialist) museum full of old bicycles - and
I
didn't even get a baseball hat with "Tabbies Rule" on it. So I sicked
on
the carpet. And when I got home I refused to come in for over a day
until I
became as thin as a bouncy castle.

Anyway, thinking how much I hate humans, you suddenly popped into my
mind.
I hope you are working very hard and making lots of deals and if you
need
my account number for the inheritance, I'm with Hopeful Savings Bank
for
Cats (HSBC). I nearly have enough to buy my own tin-opener.

Love from Min !

Aww, she loves you after all. Hilarious letter.

--
Marina, Frank and Nikki
marina (dot) kurten (at) pp (dot) inet (dot) fi
Pics at http://uk.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/frankiennikki/
and http://community.webshots.com/user/frankiennikki