I just couldn't resist posting this.

Retirement Planning

If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be
worth $49.00.

With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the original $1000.00.

With WorldCom, you would have had less than $5.00 left.

If you had purchased $1000 of Delta Air Lines stock, you would have $49.00
left.

But, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of beer/wine one year ago, drank
all the beer/wine, then turned in the cans/bottles for the aluminum and
glass recycling REFUND, you would have had $214.00.
Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to Drink heavily
and recycle.