Kreisleriana wrote:
So it's been almost a week without him. So weird to be in a house-- in a
world-- without Stinky. I expect to see him all the time-- when I get to
the top of the stairs, I expect to see him lounging on Mom's bed. When I
walk into the dining room, I expect to see him on the table. My mind cannot
get around the idea that he will not come back. Even though his ashes are
now sitting in a little green tin on the table. When I brought home Mimi's
ashes, that opened the floodgates and I knew she was gone. Even that
hasn't done it for me with Stinky. Even with the box of ashes sitting where
he use to sit, I still don't believe it.
I'm understanding, too, something of what Tak went through with Betty-- I
saw my beloved die. Even though I saw him die, I still think he's coming
back-- but even though I think that, I still dwell on those terrible
moments. He was not a well cat at the end, of course, but I still saw him--
and held him-- while he went from my sweet, alive Stinky boy to a lifeless,
staring rag in my arms. When the doctor put the needle in his leg, I went
down on my knees and made him look right into my face, so it would be the
last thing he saw. But the last thing I saw was him die, and then his poor
dead body. That was the last time I was with him, so it has been hard not
to think about, especially at night.
{{{{{{{{{{Theresa}}}}}}}}}}}
I still miss my Princess Ivy Punkinhead Puffybutt - and she's been gone
for almost 6 years. Every time I see a twist tie (her favorite toy), I
think of her.
And the other day I thought I saw Smokey on HER spot on the back of the
sofa - but it was Tennessee (Smokey was gray, Tennessee is black, and it
was dark in the living room at the moment)
It's hard sometimes, but the memories will be with us forever. There's
probably a reason for it, too.
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