Tim J. wrote in
:

On Fri, 11 Jan 2008 12:11:49 -0800 (PST), bookie
wrote:

On 11 Jan, 16:28, "cybercat" wrote:
"Tim J." wrote in message

...





My daughter's cat, now 10 months old, has become almost
unbearable. When we first got Yoshi at 6 weeks, she was very
loving. *Even after her spaying a few weeks later, her personality
was great. *Although she's always been partial to my daughter, she
used to jump up in my lap to be petted. *We know the history of
this cat since birth, as well as her parents (and grandparents),
and all were well treated.

The problems started not long after our trip to Florida during the
summer. *We left her at my mother's house. *She also has a female
cat, about 3 years old. *Yoshi came in and took charge, basically
ejecting my mother's cat from the house for the entire week we
were gone. During that time, Yoshi would follow my mother around
and jump up into her lap wanting attention. *My mother has always
spoiled her cats, and she treated Yoshi no differently.

After we got her home, my daughter stayed with a friend of hers
for about a month until school started back. *She took Yoshi with
her. They had a small dog, and Yoshi seemed to get along well with
it. *But when my daughter moved back home, Yoshi's personality had
changed dramatically. *When I went to put her in the carrier to
come home, she fought me and scratched my arm up pretty good.
*Now, when my daughter is home, Yoshi basically ignores me. *When
my daughter is not here, Yoshi will come into the living room
meowing at me, but runs when I try to touch her. *I tried ignoring
her when she comes into the room until she starts rubbing up
against my leg, but she still bolts when I reach down to pet her.
*Now it's to the point where she stays in my daughter's room most
of the time, only coming out to growl and hiss at me. *Any attempt
by me to touch her results in her swatting and clawing at me,
sometimes with some serious scratches and puncture wounds on my
hands and arms. *Thankfully, the only things she hasn't been doing
are biting and using the bathroom outside of her litter box. *When
my daughter is holding Yoshi and she comes near me, Yoshi starts
growling and clinging to my daughter as though I'm going to do
her harm. *My daughter hasn't been completely spared from Yoshi's
wrath, but she doesn't get near the reaction from Yoshi that I do.

I've had cats for most of my life, and I've never had one act this
way. *I don't know of anyone who has abused her, and don't know
why she seems to hate me so much. *The only thing I can think of
which may have set her off is when we had to take her to the vet
soon after our trip because her spaying incision didn't appear to
be healing properly. *She fought me ferociously as I took her out
of the carrier, and the vet had to call in extra help to restrain
her. *Once his assistants took over, I stepped back and let them
do their job. *Once in a while, my daughter can lay Yoshi down
next to me and she will stay as long as I scratch between her
ears, but she does so very reluctantly, with ears back and her
growling most of the time. *She then jumps up and runs within
seconds after I stop scratching her. *If I go into my daughter's
room, Yoshi will hiss and growl at me while crouching down next to
her litter box.

Any ideas how I can reverse this odd behavior from Yoshi?

When you keep ripping your cat out of familiar environments and
leaving her at others' homes where there are other animals, how
do you expect her to behave? Cats are not objects, they have
emotions and minds, albeit little tiny one. lol

She needs stability, she is new to you, and look at what you have
done to her. Instead of providing a stable, loving home, you keep
picking her up and taking her to stay with others. You have NO idea
what happened with the dog, other cat, or the people in those homes
where you left your cat. Shame on you. Stop carrying Yoshi around
like she's some kind of accessory for your daughter and you will see
a different cat, if you have not completely ruined her by now.- Hide
quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

couldn't agree more! i am constantly amazed by these people who shift
their cats around as though they were little dogs, cat are veru
territorial and are more likely to attach to a place than a person. if
yoshi had stayed at her proper home when your daughter went off to her
friend's house then she would have had a more stable start in life and
would probably not have missed your daughter too much you might have
found, why on earth did you let your daughter take her to this
friend's house where there was a dog anyway? what a bizarre thing to
do anyway.

also why on earth did you get a small young vat and then bugger off on
a trip to florida and leave her with someone else? it may have been
your mother but the cat doesn;t know that and was there any need to
shift her out of the home and environment she was already trying to
get used (and failing thanks to you) why on earth did you not just
leave her at home and get someone to cat and house sit for you? or
better still not go away on your trip and have a holiday at home
getting ot know your new furry friend and help her to settle in
better. If you had a new baby woudl you dump it with a relative and
sod off on holiday? no i doubt it, so why do it with a young and
impressionable cat?

i ahve recently had 2 trips away abroad but both times i have
organised these to be at times when my housemates will be here to feed
and pamper my furbabies so they suffer as little disruption as
possible to their routine. the one time there woudl have been none
here to look after my precious jasper (RB july 2005) cos we were all
away at the same time i got a good friend who knew jasper well to stay
inthe huose for a week as there was going to be no question of jasper
being uprooted and going to a cattery. As he had come form a rescue
centre after his previous mum died i think that putting him in a
cattery would have been the end of him and i was not goign to upset
him. If i coud not get anyone suitable to live in our house then i
would have cancelled my trip away, no question.

jasper's welfare, health and emotional well being were my
responsibiility just as yoshi's is yours and i have to say that i
think you let her down by shunting her about in her formative years
from pillar to post. i do not knwo really what you canb do knwo to
remedy matters but i hope you do not do this again to yoshi or to
another young cat who is depending on you to provide a stable home for
them.

i despair of some people, i really do

bookie

I guess I can appreciate the comments, even if some of them are quite
presumptive, and to be honest, a bit condescending.

First, it wasn't like we just dumped her off at my mother's house
without any preparation. On our vet's advice, we took her over for
several short visits so she could be around my mother and her cat
without the stress of being without us. Those visits went
exceptionally well. The arrangements were made for her to stay at my
mother's house because my mother has some difficulty getting into and
out of my property, due to reduced night vision, and her perceived
inability to get her car in and out of my driveway. In short, I was
trying to accommodate someone who was doing us a favor. And quite
frankly, I wouldn't trust anyone else in my house while I'm gone. We
also felt it better that Yoshi be around someone 24/7 with whom she
was familiar rather than to be left alone, save for short visits by
someone to check in on her. I trust you'll agree that was a far
better option than boarding her at some kennel. As for "buggering off
on a trip to Florida", what's done is done. It wasn't planned that
way, but the opportunity came up, and with my health problems of late,
I decided, upon doctor's advice, to take my first real vacation in
over 14 years. But that's not when her personality changed.

Second, it was not my wish, desire, nor with my approval that my
daughter so selfishly and thoughtlessly decided to "move out" for a
month. But in this state at her age, she is legally considered an
adult, and I had very little say in the matter. In fact, it was done
without my prior knowledge. I arrived home from running errands one
day to a note saying she and Yoshi were staying with her friend until
school started back. I've already expressed my extreme displeasure
over that situation many times with her, and I think I've impressed
upon her the potential damage that has been done to Yoshi. I doubt
her mistake will be repeated.

But even tonight, with my daughter not at home, Yoshi is being quite a
bit more receptive to me. She comes into the same room with me, and
I've even had her chasing her red laser dot around the walls,
something she seems to enjoy quite a bit. She starts "complaining"
when I stop. And yes, I'm quite careful to make sure it isn't shined
anywhere near her eyes. She still grumbles when I pet her, but at
least she tolerates it. One thing I failed to mention previously is
ever since the vet visit, she HATES being touched on her back near her
tail. Her biggest fight at the vet was while the vet took her rectal
temperature, and it appears to me she's afraid any time anyone touches
her "back there", because she thinks she's going to go through that
again. I keep going back to that vet visit because that's when I
first noticed the personality change. It occurred during my
daughter's stay at her friend's house. And her personality now is
akin to how belligerent she was when she came home from being spayed,
but that episode only lasted a day or so.

So given the fact that Yoshi is now home to stay (she hasn't left this
house in over 4 months now), I welcome any suggestions that might help
her become re-acclamated to her home environment. I just feel
additional piling on of criticism at this point would be unproductive.




You need to give her much more time. She may never "come around" as much
as you hope but you seem to understand how she might feel so you know it
will take time for her to see you as a protector and a friend. She does
sound like she is warming up if slowly. I would also get a "fishing
pole" type toy; the ones with a "prey" on a line that you dangle from a
pole. That way she gets to catch it now and then. The red dot is great
but they never get the fun of grabbing it and giving it a good thrashing.
She will also associate it with you more than she might the laser dot.

Andy

[yes Matthew, I am taking my own advice also]