Cheryl Perkins wrote:

what is so great about "self-control"? I mean, as a moral
virtue.

I think it's a pretty important moral virtue. If you don't have
self-control, you will never do or think anything that doesn't
interest or benefit you.

Well, you didn't quote the part where I also said it's important to
control oneself in many circumstances, because otherwise you end up
hurting people. From your post alone, some people might infer that I
think we should all go around doing and saying whatever we pleased.

I was questioning the idea that "self-control" is such a virtue unto
itself, that people will judge your lack (or *perceived* lack) of it
in reference to behaviors that have no victims. In other words, self-
control becomes an end in itself, rather than simply a means to deal
with social relationships in a decent and civilized way.

I will admire someone who exerts self-control, when not to do so would
cause harm. I will usually judge someone who doesn't. But I don't have
any particular admiration for people who maintain self-control over
their private behaviors, or who do it just for the sake of doing it.
I mean, self-control for its own sake is what anorexia is all about,
isn't it? I find that pathological.

And anyway, I think it's a depressing view of human nature to say that
if nobody had self-control, we'd never do anything nice for each other.
Don't we also have kind impulses? A lack of self-control wouldn't stop
us from acting on those. We'd do a lot of nasty things, too, but I like
to think our basic natures are also good.

Joyce