Today

I read in the news that a three year old was killed today. And I started to
think, that I'm not the only one that has endured this. And our accident
wasn't the first one of it's kind, nor will it be the last. It hurts but,
there's also a very faint ray of hope that we'll adjust, and learn to be a
happy home again, that while we'll always dreadfully miss Eve... It won't be
such a heavy weight. And believe me folks, the weight on my shoulders is
getting heavier instead of better. I felt better the day after her funeral
than I have today. It's hard doesn't begin to convey the enormity. Of
course, I don't have to explain that, ya'll understand somewhat that yes, it
is a huge void in my life.

I've been pulling in, shutting people out lately but in the last couple
days, I've wanted to be surrounded instead. I'm talking. I'm socializing or
just.. in town shopping. But it's still hard even though I'm either jamming
along with the radio, laughing over a joke or a person may look at me and
say she's doing good. it's there, it's under the surface, it's lurking.. I
don't ever forget, not even for a moment. And frankly, that scares me. It
scares me that I have to go through life with this underneath, crushing my
heart...

I just pray that months later, I'll be sincerely happy. At least for a
little while at a time.

Grace
babbling again

I just pray that months later, I'll be sincerely happy. At least for a
little while at a time.

Grace
babbling again

Grace,
After my sister, niece and nephews were murdered by my brother in law (he
committed suicide right after), my family was in shock. We just took it one
breath at a time in the beginning, then a minute at a time. It has been 35
years now, and it is still painful. My mom asked me to tell you she knows
how you feel, and it does get better, but it will take time. {{{Hugs}}}

Patti

I just pray that months later, I'll be sincerely happy. At least for a
little while at a time.

Grace
babbling again

Grace,
After my sister, niece and nephews were murdered by my brother in law (he
committed suicide right after), my family was in shock. We just took it one
breath at a time in the beginning, then a minute at a time. It has been 35
years now, and it is still painful. My mom asked me to tell you she knows
how you feel, and it does get better, but it will take time. {{{Hugs}}}

Patti

I just pray that months later, I'll be sincerely happy. At least for a
little while at a time.

Grace
babbling again

Grace,
After my sister, niece and nephews were murdered by my brother in law (he
committed suicide right after), my family was in shock. We just took it one
breath at a time in the beginning, then a minute at a time. It has been 35
years now, and it is still painful. My mom asked me to tell you she knows
how you feel, and it does get better, but it will take time. {{{Hugs}}}

Patti

"gracecat" wrote in message
...
I read in the news that a three year old was killed today. And I started
to
think, that I'm not the only one that has endured this. And our accident
wasn't the first one of it's kind, nor will it be the last. It hurts but,
there's also a very faint ray of hope that we'll adjust, and learn to be a
happy home again, that while we'll always dreadfully miss Eve... It won't
be
such a heavy weight. And believe me folks, the weight on my shoulders is
getting heavier instead of better. I felt better the day after her funeral
than I have today. It's hard doesn't begin to convey the enormity. Of
course, I don't have to explain that, ya'll understand somewhat that yes,
it
is a huge void in my life.

I've been pulling in, shutting people out lately but in the last couple
days, I've wanted to be surrounded instead. I'm talking. I'm socializing
or
just.. in town shopping. But it's still hard even though I'm either
jamming
along with the radio, laughing over a joke or a person may look at me and
say she's doing good. it's there, it's under the surface, it's lurking.. I
don't ever forget, not even for a moment. And frankly, that scares me. It
scares me that I have to go through life with this underneath, crushing my
heart...

I just pray that months later, I'll be sincerely happy. At least for a
little while at a time.

Grace
babbling again


Babbling is good, Grace -- it's helping you let out what you are feeling --
having a channel for expression is sooo much better than to refuse to
acknowledge your loss within yourself. I am honored by your willingness to
share with us.
Just do what you can do in each day, live from moment to moment if you need
to, and take whatever time you need to learn to move forward -- try to look
for small daily things you can find some pleasure in, be aware of nature if
you take a walk. Be kind to yourself and take care of your health (I'd
suggest you might consider taking a "stress complex" vitamin, i.e., B
complex and C--it will help you keep your strength up).

purrs,
Christine

"gracecat" wrote in message
...
I read in the news that a three year old was killed today. And I started
to
think, that I'm not the only one that has endured this. And our accident
wasn't the first one of it's kind, nor will it be the last. It hurts but,
there's also a very faint ray of hope that we'll adjust, and learn to be a
happy home again, that while we'll always dreadfully miss Eve... It won't
be
such a heavy weight. And believe me folks, the weight on my shoulders is
getting heavier instead of better. I felt better the day after her funeral
than I have today. It's hard doesn't begin to convey the enormity. Of
course, I don't have to explain that, ya'll understand somewhat that yes,
it
is a huge void in my life.

I've been pulling in, shutting people out lately but in the last couple
days, I've wanted to be surrounded instead. I'm talking. I'm socializing
or
just.. in town shopping. But it's still hard even though I'm either
jamming
along with the radio, laughing over a joke or a person may look at me and
say she's doing good. it's there, it's under the surface, it's lurking.. I
don't ever forget, not even for a moment. And frankly, that scares me. It
scares me that I have to go through life with this underneath, crushing my
heart...

I just pray that months later, I'll be sincerely happy. At least for a
little while at a time.

Grace
babbling again


Babbling is good, Grace -- it's helping you let out what you are feeling --
having a channel for expression is sooo much better than to refuse to
acknowledge your loss within yourself. I am honored by your willingness to
share with us.
Just do what you can do in each day, live from moment to moment if you need
to, and take whatever time you need to learn to move forward -- try to look
for small daily things you can find some pleasure in, be aware of nature if
you take a walk. Be kind to yourself and take care of your health (I'd
suggest you might consider taking a "stress complex" vitamin, i.e., B
complex and C--it will help you keep your strength up).

purrs,
Christine

"gracecat" wrote in message
...
I read in the news that a three year old was killed today. And I started
to
think, that I'm not the only one that has endured this. And our accident
wasn't the first one of it's kind, nor will it be the last. It hurts but,
there's also a very faint ray of hope that we'll adjust, and learn to be a
happy home again, that while we'll always dreadfully miss Eve... It won't
be
such a heavy weight. And believe me folks, the weight on my shoulders is
getting heavier instead of better. I felt better the day after her funeral
than I have today. It's hard doesn't begin to convey the enormity. Of
course, I don't have to explain that, ya'll understand somewhat that yes,
it
is a huge void in my life.

I've been pulling in, shutting people out lately but in the last couple
days, I've wanted to be surrounded instead. I'm talking. I'm socializing
or
just.. in town shopping. But it's still hard even though I'm either
jamming
along with the radio, laughing over a joke or a person may look at me and
say she's doing good. it's there, it's under the surface, it's lurking.. I
don't ever forget, not even for a moment. And frankly, that scares me. It
scares me that I have to go through life with this underneath, crushing my
heart...

I just pray that months later, I'll be sincerely happy. At least for a
little while at a time.

Grace
babbling again


Babbling is good, Grace -- it's helping you let out what you are feeling --
having a channel for expression is sooo much better than to refuse to
acknowledge your loss within yourself. I am honored by your willingness to
share with us.
Just do what you can do in each day, live from moment to moment if you need
to, and take whatever time you need to learn to move forward -- try to look
for small daily things you can find some pleasure in, be aware of nature if
you take a walk. Be kind to yourself and take care of your health (I'd
suggest you might consider taking a "stress complex" vitamin, i.e., B
complex and C--it will help you keep your strength up).

purrs,
Christine

gracecat wrote:
I read in the news that a three year old was killed today. And I
started to think, that I'm not the only one that has endured this.
And our accident wasn't the first one of it's kind, nor will it be
the last. It hurts but, there's also a very faint ray of hope that
we'll adjust, and learn to be a happy home again, that while we'll
always dreadfully miss Eve... It won't be such a heavy weight. And
believe me folks, the weight on my shoulders is getting heavier
instead of better. I felt better the day after her funeral than I
have today. It's hard doesn't begin to convey the enormity. Of
course, I don't have to explain that, ya'll understand somewhat that
yes, it is a huge void in my life.

I've been pulling in, shutting people out lately but in the last
couple days, I've wanted to be surrounded instead. I'm talking. I'm
socializing or just.. in town shopping. But it's still hard even
though I'm either jamming along with the radio, laughing over a joke
or a person may look at me and say she's doing good. it's there, it's
under the surface, it's lurking.. I don't ever forget, not even for a
moment. And frankly, that scares me. It scares me that I have to go
through life with this underneath, crushing my heart...

I just pray that months later, I'll be sincerely happy. At least for a
little while at a time.

Grace
babbling again

Think of this as a huge diary that talks back. No, not talks back, but
rather talks to you in return... but you don't have to listen if you don't
want to and you can always just walk away for a bit as needed.

I have never experienced anything like you are dealing with. But over the
course of 44 years I've found writing to be very therapeutic. And if we can
help in any small way, please know we will do everything in our power to do
so.

Hugs and purrs,
Jill

gracecat wrote:
I read in the news that a three year old was killed today. And I
started to think, that I'm not the only one that has endured this.
And our accident wasn't the first one of it's kind, nor will it be
the last. It hurts but, there's also a very faint ray of hope that
we'll adjust, and learn to be a happy home again, that while we'll
always dreadfully miss Eve... It won't be such a heavy weight. And
believe me folks, the weight on my shoulders is getting heavier
instead of better. I felt better the day after her funeral than I
have today. It's hard doesn't begin to convey the enormity. Of
course, I don't have to explain that, ya'll understand somewhat that
yes, it is a huge void in my life.

I've been pulling in, shutting people out lately but in the last
couple days, I've wanted to be surrounded instead. I'm talking. I'm
socializing or just.. in town shopping. But it's still hard even
though I'm either jamming along with the radio, laughing over a joke
or a person may look at me and say she's doing good. it's there, it's
under the surface, it's lurking.. I don't ever forget, not even for a
moment. And frankly, that scares me. It scares me that I have to go
through life with this underneath, crushing my heart...

I just pray that months later, I'll be sincerely happy. At least for a
little while at a time.

Grace
babbling again

Think of this as a huge diary that talks back. No, not talks back, but
rather talks to you in return... but you don't have to listen if you don't
want to and you can always just walk away for a bit as needed.

I have never experienced anything like you are dealing with. But over the
course of 44 years I've found writing to be very therapeutic. And if we can
help in any small way, please know we will do everything in our power to do
so.

Hugs and purrs,
Jill

gracecat wrote:
I read in the news that a three year old was killed today. And I
started to think, that I'm not the only one that has endured this.
And our accident wasn't the first one of it's kind, nor will it be
the last. It hurts but, there's also a very faint ray of hope that
we'll adjust, and learn to be a happy home again, that while we'll
always dreadfully miss Eve... It won't be such a heavy weight. And
believe me folks, the weight on my shoulders is getting heavier
instead of better. I felt better the day after her funeral than I
have today. It's hard doesn't begin to convey the enormity. Of
course, I don't have to explain that, ya'll understand somewhat that
yes, it is a huge void in my life.

I've been pulling in, shutting people out lately but in the last
couple days, I've wanted to be surrounded instead. I'm talking. I'm
socializing or just.. in town shopping. But it's still hard even
though I'm either jamming along with the radio, laughing over a joke
or a person may look at me and say she's doing good. it's there, it's
under the surface, it's lurking.. I don't ever forget, not even for a
moment. And frankly, that scares me. It scares me that I have to go
through life with this underneath, crushing my heart...

I just pray that months later, I'll be sincerely happy. At least for a
little while at a time.

Grace
babbling again

Think of this as a huge diary that talks back. No, not talks back, but
rather talks to you in return... but you don't have to listen if you don't
want to and you can always just walk away for a bit as needed.

I have never experienced anything like you are dealing with. But over the
course of 44 years I've found writing to be very therapeutic. And if we can
help in any small way, please know we will do everything in our power to do
so.

Hugs and purrs,
Jill