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#21
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#22
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#23
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Joanne wrote:
You think that I've gone to ignoring him completely? You couldn't be further from the truth. I said NO such thing, nor did I imply it. Actually I've been at home for several weeks since I was between jobs and not about to start a new one with a baby on the way. He gets attention from the moment I get up until the moment I get to bed, and usually most of it comes at night (when my husband comes home from work). And to be completely honest, the more attention he gets during the day, the worse he scratches at night. He does not separate love he gets during the day from wanting to be in our room at night. He believes that he is entitled to both as much as he wants to, no matter what. That's because until a few weeks ago, he HAS been entitled to it. What is obviously very important to him (sleeping with you) has been suddenly taken away from him and has been replaced with a cycle of abuse. He doesn't know why he is suddenly banned from your bedroom, and he can't understand why snuggling has now been replaced with repeated and abusive squirting, yelling and angry chasing. If I was a cruel person, the easy thing to do would be to ignore him completely, but I don't. As I advised earlier, ignoring him will help to change the current situation and is certainly kinder than what you are inflicting on him now. But the problem is that as much as I love him, HE ISN'T A CHILD, and I can never treat him as though he were human. The principles of dealing with children and cats are very similar. It would benefit you to realize that and try to understand your cat instead of considering him a nuisance. He is an animal, with animal instincts. He lives in the moment from day-to-day. Just as children do. He will never have powers of reason. Cats do have the ability to reason. And most of all, I would be highly surprised if I ever became allergic to my child. What is honestly better? That my husband's asthma and allergies degenerate to the point that we get rid of our cats altogether, or we make a compromise to keep a place where we spend a third of our day fur and dander free? (we do bathe regularly but that only works so far) When I was a little girl, my parents had to get rid of my cat because of my brother's allergies and asthma and it still scars me to this day. I never once criticized you for making the decision to keep the cats out of the bedroom. If that is what is needed then so be it. It's how you are going about it that's the problem. I have tried ignoring him, and earplugs do not work for me (I've tried several in the past and they all irritate my ears). He is a very large cat, and his scratching at the door is actually more pounding, like someone is knocking. I can't drown it out with fan white noise or the stereo (if I turn it up enough, then I can't sleep anyways). He has never been interested in scratching posts, even before he was declawed. If he is declawed, how is he scratching? He does like rubbing his paws on clothes baskets, though. So put a clothes basket in front of the door when you go to bed. Since that is what he likes he may "scratch" on that instead. I wish I had the cats you must have, You could if you would take the time to learn about cats and treat behavior issues with kindness and understanding. I have 25 cats and none of them have had problems that couldn't be fixed and were addressed successfully WITHOUT squirting, yelling, angry chasing, etc. but about the only way animals are like children is that they all have individual personalities and respond differently. We don't have ANY problem with our youngest cat and she is perfectly adjusted to the situation. You just said cats respond differently and then you turn right around and compare your youngest cat to Luna. Do you see the error here? They are two different cats and you can't expect them to react the same. Luna refuses to adjust and because he is a cat and responds like cats do, we're having problems getting him to see how his life has changed, and will remain changed. When you stress him out by a sudden ban from the bedroom and treating him badly what option does he have but to try to get to you at night and convince you he is a good kitty and loves you? He doesn't understand why he is banned. He only knows that all of a sudden you don't want that special time with him and add to that by being mean to him. God I wish I could accomplish everything by being sweet and kind, but that has never worked, And you're here now because the abuse has been SO effective... right? that's not how my situation is, so get off of your soapbox if you don't have any other constructive advice. Kindness DOES work, but you also have to have patience and understanding. You have exhibited none of these qualities, and until you do, you are doomed to fail not only with your current situation, but with raising your child as well. Megan "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." -Edmund Burke Learn The TRUTH About Declawing http://www.stopdeclaw.com Zuzu's Cats Photo Album: http://www.PictureTrail.com/zuzu22 "Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way." - W.H. Murray |
#24
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Joanne wrote:
You think that I've gone to ignoring him completely? You couldn't be further from the truth. I said NO such thing, nor did I imply it. Actually I've been at home for several weeks since I was between jobs and not about to start a new one with a baby on the way. He gets attention from the moment I get up until the moment I get to bed, and usually most of it comes at night (when my husband comes home from work). And to be completely honest, the more attention he gets during the day, the worse he scratches at night. He does not separate love he gets during the day from wanting to be in our room at night. He believes that he is entitled to both as much as he wants to, no matter what. That's because until a few weeks ago, he HAS been entitled to it. What is obviously very important to him (sleeping with you) has been suddenly taken away from him and has been replaced with a cycle of abuse. He doesn't know why he is suddenly banned from your bedroom, and he can't understand why snuggling has now been replaced with repeated and abusive squirting, yelling and angry chasing. If I was a cruel person, the easy thing to do would be to ignore him completely, but I don't. As I advised earlier, ignoring him will help to change the current situation and is certainly kinder than what you are inflicting on him now. But the problem is that as much as I love him, HE ISN'T A CHILD, and I can never treat him as though he were human. The principles of dealing with children and cats are very similar. It would benefit you to realize that and try to understand your cat instead of considering him a nuisance. He is an animal, with animal instincts. He lives in the moment from day-to-day. Just as children do. He will never have powers of reason. Cats do have the ability to reason. And most of all, I would be highly surprised if I ever became allergic to my child. What is honestly better? That my husband's asthma and allergies degenerate to the point that we get rid of our cats altogether, or we make a compromise to keep a place where we spend a third of our day fur and dander free? (we do bathe regularly but that only works so far) When I was a little girl, my parents had to get rid of my cat because of my brother's allergies and asthma and it still scars me to this day. I never once criticized you for making the decision to keep the cats out of the bedroom. If that is what is needed then so be it. It's how you are going about it that's the problem. I have tried ignoring him, and earplugs do not work for me (I've tried several in the past and they all irritate my ears). He is a very large cat, and his scratching at the door is actually more pounding, like someone is knocking. I can't drown it out with fan white noise or the stereo (if I turn it up enough, then I can't sleep anyways). He has never been interested in scratching posts, even before he was declawed. If he is declawed, how is he scratching? He does like rubbing his paws on clothes baskets, though. So put a clothes basket in front of the door when you go to bed. Since that is what he likes he may "scratch" on that instead. I wish I had the cats you must have, You could if you would take the time to learn about cats and treat behavior issues with kindness and understanding. I have 25 cats and none of them have had problems that couldn't be fixed and were addressed successfully WITHOUT squirting, yelling, angry chasing, etc. but about the only way animals are like children is that they all have individual personalities and respond differently. We don't have ANY problem with our youngest cat and she is perfectly adjusted to the situation. You just said cats respond differently and then you turn right around and compare your youngest cat to Luna. Do you see the error here? They are two different cats and you can't expect them to react the same. Luna refuses to adjust and because he is a cat and responds like cats do, we're having problems getting him to see how his life has changed, and will remain changed. When you stress him out by a sudden ban from the bedroom and treating him badly what option does he have but to try to get to you at night and convince you he is a good kitty and loves you? He doesn't understand why he is banned. He only knows that all of a sudden you don't want that special time with him and add to that by being mean to him. God I wish I could accomplish everything by being sweet and kind, but that has never worked, And you're here now because the abuse has been SO effective... right? that's not how my situation is, so get off of your soapbox if you don't have any other constructive advice. Kindness DOES work, but you also have to have patience and understanding. You have exhibited none of these qualities, and until you do, you are doomed to fail not only with your current situation, but with raising your child as well. Megan "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." -Edmund Burke Learn The TRUTH About Declawing http://www.stopdeclaw.com Zuzu's Cats Photo Album: http://www.PictureTrail.com/zuzu22 "Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way." - W.H. Murray |
#25
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Joanne wrote:
You think that I've gone to ignoring him completely? You couldn't be further from the truth. I said NO such thing, nor did I imply it. Actually I've been at home for several weeks since I was between jobs and not about to start a new one with a baby on the way. He gets attention from the moment I get up until the moment I get to bed, and usually most of it comes at night (when my husband comes home from work). And to be completely honest, the more attention he gets during the day, the worse he scratches at night. He does not separate love he gets during the day from wanting to be in our room at night. He believes that he is entitled to both as much as he wants to, no matter what. That's because until a few weeks ago, he HAS been entitled to it. What is obviously very important to him (sleeping with you) has been suddenly taken away from him and has been replaced with a cycle of abuse. He doesn't know why he is suddenly banned from your bedroom, and he can't understand why snuggling has now been replaced with repeated and abusive squirting, yelling and angry chasing. If I was a cruel person, the easy thing to do would be to ignore him completely, but I don't. As I advised earlier, ignoring him will help to change the current situation and is certainly kinder than what you are inflicting on him now. But the problem is that as much as I love him, HE ISN'T A CHILD, and I can never treat him as though he were human. The principles of dealing with children and cats are very similar. It would benefit you to realize that and try to understand your cat instead of considering him a nuisance. He is an animal, with animal instincts. He lives in the moment from day-to-day. Just as children do. He will never have powers of reason. Cats do have the ability to reason. And most of all, I would be highly surprised if I ever became allergic to my child. What is honestly better? That my husband's asthma and allergies degenerate to the point that we get rid of our cats altogether, or we make a compromise to keep a place where we spend a third of our day fur and dander free? (we do bathe regularly but that only works so far) When I was a little girl, my parents had to get rid of my cat because of my brother's allergies and asthma and it still scars me to this day. I never once criticized you for making the decision to keep the cats out of the bedroom. If that is what is needed then so be it. It's how you are going about it that's the problem. I have tried ignoring him, and earplugs do not work for me (I've tried several in the past and they all irritate my ears). He is a very large cat, and his scratching at the door is actually more pounding, like someone is knocking. I can't drown it out with fan white noise or the stereo (if I turn it up enough, then I can't sleep anyways). He has never been interested in scratching posts, even before he was declawed. If he is declawed, how is he scratching? He does like rubbing his paws on clothes baskets, though. So put a clothes basket in front of the door when you go to bed. Since that is what he likes he may "scratch" on that instead. I wish I had the cats you must have, You could if you would take the time to learn about cats and treat behavior issues with kindness and understanding. I have 25 cats and none of them have had problems that couldn't be fixed and were addressed successfully WITHOUT squirting, yelling, angry chasing, etc. but about the only way animals are like children is that they all have individual personalities and respond differently. We don't have ANY problem with our youngest cat and she is perfectly adjusted to the situation. You just said cats respond differently and then you turn right around and compare your youngest cat to Luna. Do you see the error here? They are two different cats and you can't expect them to react the same. Luna refuses to adjust and because he is a cat and responds like cats do, we're having problems getting him to see how his life has changed, and will remain changed. When you stress him out by a sudden ban from the bedroom and treating him badly what option does he have but to try to get to you at night and convince you he is a good kitty and loves you? He doesn't understand why he is banned. He only knows that all of a sudden you don't want that special time with him and add to that by being mean to him. God I wish I could accomplish everything by being sweet and kind, but that has never worked, And you're here now because the abuse has been SO effective... right? that's not how my situation is, so get off of your soapbox if you don't have any other constructive advice. Kindness DOES work, but you also have to have patience and understanding. You have exhibited none of these qualities, and until you do, you are doomed to fail not only with your current situation, but with raising your child as well. Megan "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." -Edmund Burke Learn The TRUTH About Declawing http://www.stopdeclaw.com Zuzu's Cats Photo Album: http://www.PictureTrail.com/zuzu22 "Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way." - W.H. Murray |
#26
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Joanne wrote:
when he scratches the first time, my husband will squirt him into the living room (if he isn't already there) and close the door between the living room and hallway (he'll claw and meow at that door too but we can only barely hear him thank goodness). The only problem is that doing that isolates them from their litter box (and we don't want the mess/hassle of setting up a second one in there), so we can't do that too long. Did it ever occur to you that the "mess/hassle" of having a second litterbox (which you should have regardless and wouldn't take more than 5 minutes of effort a day cleaning) is preferable to continuous nights of interrupted sleep? Such an easy solution, yet you prefer to abusively squirt, yell at and chase Luna. Pretty sad. Megan "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." -Edmund Burke Learn The TRUTH About Declawing http://www.stopdeclaw.com Zuzu's Cats Photo Album: http://www.PictureTrail.com/zuzu22 "Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way." - W.H. Murray |
#27
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Joanne wrote:
when he scratches the first time, my husband will squirt him into the living room (if he isn't already there) and close the door between the living room and hallway (he'll claw and meow at that door too but we can only barely hear him thank goodness). The only problem is that doing that isolates them from their litter box (and we don't want the mess/hassle of setting up a second one in there), so we can't do that too long. Did it ever occur to you that the "mess/hassle" of having a second litterbox (which you should have regardless and wouldn't take more than 5 minutes of effort a day cleaning) is preferable to continuous nights of interrupted sleep? Such an easy solution, yet you prefer to abusively squirt, yell at and chase Luna. Pretty sad. Megan "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." -Edmund Burke Learn The TRUTH About Declawing http://www.stopdeclaw.com Zuzu's Cats Photo Album: http://www.PictureTrail.com/zuzu22 "Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way." - W.H. Murray |
#28
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Joanne wrote:
when he scratches the first time, my husband will squirt him into the living room (if he isn't already there) and close the door between the living room and hallway (he'll claw and meow at that door too but we can only barely hear him thank goodness). The only problem is that doing that isolates them from their litter box (and we don't want the mess/hassle of setting up a second one in there), so we can't do that too long. Did it ever occur to you that the "mess/hassle" of having a second litterbox (which you should have regardless and wouldn't take more than 5 minutes of effort a day cleaning) is preferable to continuous nights of interrupted sleep? Such an easy solution, yet you prefer to abusively squirt, yell at and chase Luna. Pretty sad. Megan "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." -Edmund Burke Learn The TRUTH About Declawing http://www.stopdeclaw.com Zuzu's Cats Photo Album: http://www.PictureTrail.com/zuzu22 "Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way." - W.H. Murray |
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