[OT] Tips for Coping

"Monique Y. Mudama" wrote in message
...
On 2004-12-04, penned:
Monique Y. Mudama wrote:

Anyway, the really sad part to me is that, when I told my dad I
was going
to look for a therapist to talk some of my stress out, it really
bummed
him out... my father I guess is just a different generation and
a
different culture. He said something like, "Well, honey, when
you say
you're going to see a therapist ... that sounds like, you know,
you think
you 'need therapy.'"

Hi,

When I saw this thread's subject line, I wondered whether it might be
a good idea to share my experiences. (g) I've decided it is :^)

My husband is severely disabled (he's a quadraplegic) and for the past
22 years, I have been his sole housekeeper/chauffeur/carer and general
dogsbody most of the time. As the years have passed, his condition
has caused him to become dependent on assisted breathing apparatus
24/7 and also frailer. There have been times when I have not coped
well with the consequences of his condition and the additional health
problems he has had, one of which was a nervous breakdown.

Some years ago, I let my fears about what the future might hold for us
become an excuse to start drinking very heavily. This was not a good
idea. As a result, I became alcohol -dependant. After several months
of alcohol abusing, I began to receive treatment for clinical
depression.
Sometime later my depression enabled me to think that committing
suicide was a good idea. At this point in my life, on more than one
occasion, after drinking heavily, I'd be slumped on the floor in our
darkened sitting room or kitchen with my husband asleep in bed,
surrounded by all the anti-depressants that my doctor had prescribed
for me (which I had kept getting despite having stopped taking them
because I had decided they were not doing me any good) and a knife
pressed against my wrist, fearing that if I overdosed on my ads and
cut my wrists I wouldn't die quickly; thinking that no human would
miss me and worrying about what would happen to my cats if I died. It
was my love for cats that made me decide to go on living and seek help
to overcome my inability to cope with my situation..

I have learnt the value of: keeping focussed only on the day in hand,
remembering that tiredness always makes things seem worse; remembering
that bad/difficult times pass; talking to folk; making time to do
things for myself, and remembering to get active when I feel
angry, frustrated, resentful and/or full of self-pity because when I
am
active those feelings and emotions often quickly go away. I also find
it helpful to think about and make use of the wisdom in this prayer:

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the
courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the
difference".

Sheenah

Prayers and purrs for you, Sheenah, and thanks for sharing. I nearly got
there once myself.
I hope you'll be able to cope with your caring role. It's very difficult.

((hugs))
Tweed


"Sheenah" wrote in message
...

"Monique Y. Mudama" wrote in message
...
On 2004-12-04, penned:
Monique Y. Mudama wrote:

Anyway, the really sad part to me is that, when I told my dad I
was going
to look for a therapist to talk some of my stress out, it really
bummed
him out... my father I guess is just a different generation and
a
different culture. He said something like, "Well, honey, when
you say
you're going to see a therapist ... that sounds like, you know,
you think
you 'need therapy.'"

Hi,

When I saw this thread's subject line, I wondered whether it might be
a good idea to share my experiences. (g) I've decided it is :^)

My husband is severely disabled (he's a quadraplegic) and for the past
22 years, I have been his sole housekeeper/chauffeur/carer and general
dogsbody most of the time. As the years have passed, his condition
has caused him to become dependent on assisted breathing apparatus
24/7 and also frailer. There have been times when I have not coped
well with the consequences of his condition and the additional health
problems he has had, one of which was a nervous breakdown.

Some years ago, I let my fears about what the future might hold for us
become an excuse to start drinking very heavily. This was not a good
idea. As a result, I became alcohol -dependant. After several months
of alcohol abusing, I began to receive treatment for clinical
depression.
Sometime later my depression enabled me to think that committing
suicide was a good idea. At this point in my life, on more than one
occasion, after drinking heavily, I'd be slumped on the floor in our
darkened sitting room or kitchen with my husband asleep in bed,
surrounded by all the anti-depressants that my doctor had prescribed
for me (which I had kept getting despite having stopped taking them
because I had decided they were not doing me any good) and a knife
pressed against my wrist, fearing that if I overdosed on my ads and
cut my wrists I wouldn't die quickly; thinking that no human would
miss me and worrying about what would happen to my cats if I died. It
was my love for cats that made me decide to go on living and seek help
to overcome my inability to cope with my situation..

I have learnt the value of: keeping focussed only on the day in hand,
remembering that tiredness always makes things seem worse; remembering
that bad/difficult times pass; talking to folk; making time to do
things for myself, and remembering to get active when I feel
angry, frustrated, resentful and/or full of self-pity because when I
am
active those feelings and emotions often quickly go away. I also find
it helpful to think about and make use of the wisdom in this prayer:

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the
courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the
difference".

Sheenah

"Christina Websell" wrote in
message ...
Prayers and purrs for you, Sheenah, and thanks for sharing. I
nearly got
there once myself.
I hope you'll be able to cope with your caring role. It's very
difficult.

((hugs))
Tweed

Gosh. I didn't expect to become the focus of any attention.

Thank you very much for your purrs, prayers and hugs.

Sheenah

"Sheenah" wrote in message
...

snip

"Cheryl Perkins" wrote in message
...
Monique Y. Mudama wrote:
snip
Saying that you don't like exercise because you don't like gyms is like
.... um
... saying you don't care for food because you don't like microwave
meals. To
me, anyway. Gyms are a pale shadow of the real deal.

I actually rather like doing stuff at the gym, which I started going to
about six months ago. I usually make myself do something on a bike for
20-30 minutes, because it's good for the heart, and then use however many
machines I feel inclined to or have time for. I tend to emphasize the
machines that work the arms, because I walk a lot and what with that and
the stationary bike, I figure my legs are OK.

I used to hate exercise because I associated it with team sports which I
hate because I don't really care which side wins, and I also don't have
very good eye-hand coordination and tend to duck if I see a ball heading
towards me, instead of catching or hitting it. Then I got back into
swimming (I'd learned the basics as a child), aerobics, tai chi and yoga
(not all at the same time!) which I liked. The gym is more flexible (no
set class times or lengths!) and my employer pays a good bit of the cost
of membership at one practically next door to my workplace. So I decided
to give it a try.

I'd like to try Yoga or Tai Chi, but like almost anythign that seems to be
"women's interest" stuff, the classes around here are all during the day.
Then again, by the time I get home from work, I'm already exhausted, and by
the time dinner is organised and Cary is in bed, all I can do is flop in
front of a TV or Monitor for an hour or so before I fall into bed. I don't
know when I'm supposed to find the time to excercise!

Yowie

"Sheenah" wrote in message
...

"Christina Websell" wrote in
message ...
Prayers and purrs for you, Sheenah, and thanks for sharing. I
nearly got
there once myself.
I hope you'll be able to cope with your caring role. It's very
difficult.

((hugs))
Tweed

Gosh. I didn't expect to become the focus of any attention.

Thank you very much for your purrs, prayers and hugs.

Sheenah


You expected to post to this lovely group with your pain, and be ignored?
No way.

Tweed

Thank you for having the courage to share your experience. The worse thing
about depression is feeling so alone and feeling that nobody else in the
whole world feels that way or cares about you. When we learn that others
are feeling or have felt just as bad but have found ways to cope that helps
us find the means to go on.

Hugs,

CatNipped

"Sheenah" wrote in message
...

"Monique Y. Mudama" wrote in message
...
On 2004-12-04, penned:
Monique Y. Mudama wrote:

Anyway, the really sad part to me is that, when I told my dad I
was going
to look for a therapist to talk some of my stress out, it really
bummed
him out... my father I guess is just a different generation and
a
different culture. He said something like, "Well, honey, when
you say
you're going to see a therapist ... that sounds like, you know,
you think
you 'need therapy.'"

Hi,

When I saw this thread's subject line, I wondered whether it might be
a good idea to share my experiences. (g) I've decided it is :^)

My husband is severely disabled (he's a quadraplegic) and for the past
22 years, I have been his sole housekeeper/chauffeur/carer and general
dogsbody most of the time. As the years have passed, his condition
has caused him to become dependent on assisted breathing apparatus
24/7 and also frailer. There have been times when I have not coped
well with the consequences of his condition and the additional health
problems he has had, one of which was a nervous breakdown.

Some years ago, I let my fears about what the future might hold for us
become an excuse to start drinking very heavily. This was not a good
idea. As a result, I became alcohol -dependant. After several months
of alcohol abusing, I began to receive treatment for clinical
depression.
Sometime later my depression enabled me to think that committing
suicide was a good idea. At this point in my life, on more than one
occasion, after drinking heavily, I'd be slumped on the floor in our
darkened sitting room or kitchen with my husband asleep in bed,
surrounded by all the anti-depressants that my doctor had prescribed
for me (which I had kept getting despite having stopped taking them
because I had decided they were not doing me any good) and a knife
pressed against my wrist, fearing that if I overdosed on my ads and
cut my wrists I wouldn't die quickly; thinking that no human would
miss me and worrying about what would happen to my cats if I died. It
was my love for cats that made me decide to go on living and seek help
to overcome my inability to cope with my situation..

I have learnt the value of: keeping focussed only on the day in hand,
remembering that tiredness always makes things seem worse; remembering
that bad/difficult times pass; talking to folk; making time to do
things for myself, and remembering to get active when I feel
angry, frustrated, resentful and/or full of self-pity because when I
am
active those feelings and emotions often quickly go away. I also find
it helpful to think about and make use of the wisdom in this prayer:

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the
courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the
difference".

Sheenah

"Christina Websell" wrote in
message ...

"Sheenah" wrote in message
...

"Christina Websell" wrote in
message ...
Prayers and purrs for you, Sheenah, and thanks for sharing. I
nearly got
there once myself.
I hope you'll be able to cope with your caring role. It's very
difficult.

((hugs))
Tweed

Gosh. I didn't expect to become the focus of any attention.

Thank you very much for your purrs, prayers and hugs.

Sheenah


You expected to post to this lovely group with your pain, and be
ignored?
No way.

Tweed

Dear Tweed,

I used to be a regular poster here and well remember the warmth,
friendliness, supportiveness and great sense of fun that can be found
here and which makes this community such a special place.

LOL. My elderly Siamese Thalia has just walked past me and by so
doing has reminded me that as this NG has cats in it's title, maybe I
ought to introduce you to my "gang". They are, in no particular
order:

Thalia who celebrated her 18th birthday on 26th October, Sylvia,
Abbie, Hermoine, Dee Dee, Megan, Ebony, Jim Bo and Jason.
Only Thalia is not a former abandoned cat.

g Those gang members who willingly posed for photos or were,
unfortunately, caught on camera in an unguarded moment, are not aware
that their mainly, mugshots, appear at the following link:

http://makeashorterlink.com/?A5C2323F9

It may not be a good idea to tell them :^)

Love and best wishes

Sheenah

Sheenah wrote:


My husband is severely disabled (he's a quadraplegic) and for the past
22 years, I have been his sole housekeeper/chauffeur/carer and general
dogsbody most of the time. As the years have passed, his condition
has caused him to become dependent on assisted breathing apparatus
24/7 and also frailer. There have been times when I have not coped
well with the consequences of his condition and the additional health
problems he has had, one of which was a nervous breakdown.



Wow, when I need emotional support in the future, I'm going to ask you
how you've done it. Sheenah and thank you.

Pam S.

"CatNipped" wrote in message
...
The worse thing
about depression is feeling so alone and feeling that nobody else in
the
whole world feels that way or cares about you. When we learn that
others
are feeling or have felt just as bad but have found ways to cope
that helps
us find the means to go on.

I agree.

Hugs,

CatNipped

(((hugs))) g and love, back at ya :^)

Sheenah

"Tanada" wrote in message
nk.net...
Sheenah wrote:

My husband is severely disabled (he's a quadraplegic)

Wow, when I need emotional support in the future, I'm going to ask
you
how you've done it. Sheenah and thank you.

Pam S.

Hi Pam,

I remember you breaking the news about Rob having a brain tumour and
have just been using Google to get your latest news.

Hugs, purrs, prayers and lots of love to you both.

Sheenah

PS: Does Capt' n' Pine Cone still love Chloe :^)