Problem - Bandit and Ben

When I woke up this morning Bandit was not in bed with me, I found her
hiding behind the sofa in my sitting room and she wouldn't come out for me
when I brought food. I had to pull the sofa out and pick her up. When I
set her down in front of her food she only sniffed it and then walked away
(I know lately she had been taking only a few bites of food lately and I
don't see her drinking any more - but today she wouldn't eat at all). When
I held her face up to me I saw that her right eye was closed and her left
barely open. I knew in my heart that it is time.

The problem is Ben. He insists that it isn't time. This morning he opened
up a can of tuna to show me that she was still interested in food. She took
some of the water from the bowl, but wouldn't eat any of the tuna. While
she was licking the water Ben kept saying, "You see, she's eating". When I
insisted it was time he snarled, "Well she's your cat so you do what you
want, but I don't think you should kill her just because she's old and
skinny!"

I know this is hard for him because it's around the time of year his dad
died - and he just doesn't deal with death at all well, he has a bit of an
irrational fear of sickness and death. But I can't let my baby girl suffer
for it. However, I know if I do this against his will he will bring this up
to me in a nasty way now and every time he gets mad at me.

He said he's off this weekend and we could talk about it some more, but 1. I
don't want to wait and allow her to suffer, 2. I don't think the vet will
make a house call on the weekend, and 3. I don't think he's going to change
his mind overnight.

Any suggestions?

--
Hugs,

CatNipped

See all my masters he http://www.PossiblePlaces.com/CatNipped/

CatNipped wrote:
Any suggestions?

Pick up some CatSure (it's like Ensure for cats) from the pet store
today and see if she will drink it. If she does, start weighting her
every day. If her weight keeps trending down, you will have proof she's
not well.

Purrs for you and Bandit.

--
Victor M. Martinez
Owned and operated by the Fantastic Seven (TM)
Send your spam he
Email me he

"Victor Martinez" wrote in message
...
CatNipped wrote:
Any suggestions?

Pick up some CatSure (it's like Ensure for cats) from the pet store today
and see if she will drink it. If she does, start weighting her every day.
If her weight keeps trending down, you will have proof she's not well.

Purrs for you and Bandit.

Thanks, I'll get some on the way home from work.

Hugs,

CatNipped

--
Victor M. Martinez
Owned and operated by the Fantastic Seven (TM)
Send your spam he
Email me he

On Jun 1, 8:12 am, "CatNipped" wrote:
When I woke up this morning Bandit was not in bed with me, I found her
hiding behind the sofa in my sitting room and she wouldn't come out for me
when I brought food. I had to pull the sofa out and pick her up. When I
set her down in front of her food she only sniffed it and then walked away
(I know lately she had been taking only a few bites of food lately and I
don't see her drinking any more - but today she wouldn't eat at all). When
I held her face up to me I saw that her right eye was closed and her left
barely open. I knew in my heart that it is time.

The problem is Ben. He insists that it isn't time. This morning he opened
up a can of tuna to show me that she was still interested in food. She took
some of the water from the bowl, but wouldn't eat any of the tuna. While
she was licking the water Ben kept saying, "You see, she's eating". When I
insisted it was time he snarled, "Well she's your cat so you do what you
want, but I don't think you should kill her just because she's old and
skinny!"

I know this is hard for him because it's around the time of year his dad
died - and he just doesn't deal with death at all well, he has a bit of an
irrational fear of sickness and death. But I can't let my baby girl suffer
for it. However, I know if I do this against his will he will bring this up
to me in a nasty way now and every time he gets mad at me.

He said he's off this weekend and we could talk about it some more, but 1. I
don't want to wait and allow her to suffer, 2. I don't think the vet will
make a house call on the weekend, and 3. I don't think he's going to change
his mind overnight.

Any suggestions?

--
Hugs,

CatNipped

This story about made me cry. First, it shows how tenderhearted he is
toward Bandit
that he doesn't want to let her go. You *know* that (outside this
newsgroup & the circle
of "cat people" that's rare). But secondly, he's not being respectful
or kind toward you. You're the
primary caregiver and he should respect your decision. It's a
horrible, difficult decision and
he should be supporting you, not making it harder!
How about arranging a vet appointment as an "evaluation" of her health
and insist that
Ben go along. Clue the vet in beforehand. The doctor can explain to
Ben *exactly* what's going
on inside Bandit and how it makes her feel. What to expect her to go
through in the next few
weeks. Maybe he will listen to a professional and see things from a
different perspective.
Good luck. I am just so sorry you have to go through this.

Sherry
about how Ben feels. She can tell Ben

"Sherry" wrote in message
ups.com...
On Jun 1, 8:12 am, "CatNipped" wrote:
When I woke up this morning Bandit was not in bed with me, I found her
hiding behind the sofa in my sitting room and she wouldn't come out for
me
when I brought food. I had to pull the sofa out and pick her up. When I
set her down in front of her food she only sniffed it and then walked
away
(I know lately she had been taking only a few bites of food lately and I
don't see her drinking any more - but today she wouldn't eat at all).
When
I held her face up to me I saw that her right eye was closed and her left
barely open. I knew in my heart that it is time.

The problem is Ben. He insists that it isn't time. This morning he
opened
up a can of tuna to show me that she was still interested in food. She
took
some of the water from the bowl, but wouldn't eat any of the tuna. While
she was licking the water Ben kept saying, "You see, she's eating". When
I
insisted it was time he snarled, "Well she's your cat so you do what you
want, but I don't think you should kill her just because she's old and
skinny!"

I know this is hard for him because it's around the time of year his dad
died - and he just doesn't deal with death at all well, he has a bit of
an
irrational fear of sickness and death. But I can't let my baby girl
suffer
for it. However, I know if I do this against his will he will bring this
up
to me in a nasty way now and every time he gets mad at me.

He said he's off this weekend and we could talk about it some more, but
1. I
don't want to wait and allow her to suffer, 2. I don't think the vet will
make a house call on the weekend, and 3. I don't think he's going to
change
his mind overnight.

Any suggestions?

--
Hugs,

CatNipped

This story about made me cry. First, it shows how tenderhearted he is
toward Bandit
that he doesn't want to let her go. You *know* that (outside this
newsgroup & the circle
of "cat people" that's rare). But secondly, he's not being respectful
or kind toward you. You're the
primary caregiver and he should respect your decision. It's a
horrible, difficult decision and
he should be supporting you, not making it harder!
How about arranging a vet appointment as an "evaluation" of her health
and insist that
Ben go along. Clue the vet in beforehand. The doctor can explain to
Ben *exactly* what's going
on inside Bandit and how it makes her feel. What to expect her to go
through in the next few
weeks. Maybe he will listen to a professional and see things from a
different perspective.
Good luck. I am just so sorry you have to go through this.

Thanks Sherry, I think that is an excellent idea - if a doctor advises him
that it's time to let her go he may have an easier time believing that than
my "feeling" that it's time to let her go. I think I'll make him come with
me tomorrow and see the vet (though I hate to put her through that right
now - but I don't think they'll make a house call for anything but
euthanasia).

Hugs,

CatNipped

Sherry
about how Ben feels. She can tell Ben

Sherry wrote:
On Jun 1, 8:12 am, "CatNipped" wrote:
When I woke up this morning Bandit was not in bed with me, I found
her hiding behind the sofa in my sitting room and she wouldn't come
out for me when I brought food. I had to pull the sofa out and pick
her up. When I set her down in front of her food she only sniffed
it and then walked away (I know lately she had been taking only a
few bites of food lately and I don't see her drinking any more - but
today she wouldn't eat at all). When I held her face up to me I saw
that her right eye was closed and her left barely open. I knew in
my heart that it is time.

The problem is Ben. He insists that it isn't time.
CatNipped

This story about made me cry. First, it shows how tenderhearted he is
toward Bandit
that he doesn't want to let her go. You *know* that (outside this
newsgroup & the circle
of "cat people" that's rare). But secondly, he's not being respectful
or kind toward you. You're the
primary caregiver and he should respect your decision. It's a
horrible, difficult decision and
he should be supporting you, not making it harder!

Hear hear!

How about arranging a vet appointment as an "evaluation" of her health
and insist that
Ben go along. Clue the vet in beforehand. The doctor can explain to
Ben *exactly* what's going
on inside Bandit and how it makes her feel. What to expect her to go
through in the next few
weeks. Maybe he will listen to a professional and see things from a
different perspective.
Good luck. I am just so sorry you have to go through this.

Sherry

I agree this is a very reasonable course of action. Sometimes people just
need to hear it from a professional. It's definitely *not* an easy decision
to make and Ben shouldn't think Lori is making it lightly. We all want to
hang on. We all want to keep our furbabies with us forever. Sadly, it's
just not possible.

Jill

On Jun 1, 9:28 am, "CatNipped" wrote:
"Sherry" wrote in message

ups.com...





On Jun 1, 8:12 am, "CatNipped" wrote:
When I woke up this morning Bandit was not in bed with me, I found her
hiding behind the sofa in my sitting room and she wouldn't come out for
me
when I brought food. I had to pull the sofa out and pick her up. When I
set her down in front of her food she only sniffed it and then walked
away
(I know lately she had been taking only a few bites of food lately and I
don't see her drinking any more - but today she wouldn't eat at all).
When
I held her face up to me I saw that her right eye was closed and her left
barely open. I knew in my heart that it is time.

The problem is Ben. He insists that it isn't time. This morning he
opened
up a can of tuna to show me that she was still interested in food. She
took
some of the water from the bowl, but wouldn't eat any of the tuna. While
she was licking the water Ben kept saying, "You see, she's eating". When
I
insisted it was time he snarled, "Well she's your cat so you do what you
want, but I don't think you should kill her just because she's old and
skinny!"

I know this is hard for him because it's around the time of year his dad
died - and he just doesn't deal with death at all well, he has a bit of
an
irrational fear of sickness and death. But I can't let my baby girl
suffer
for it. However, I know if I do this against his will he will bring this
up
to me in a nasty way now and every time he gets mad at me.

He said he's off this weekend and we could talk about it some more, but
1. I
don't want to wait and allow her to suffer, 2. I don't think the vet will
make a house call on the weekend, and 3. I don't think he's going to
change
his mind overnight.

Any suggestions?

--
Hugs,

CatNipped

This story about made me cry. First, it shows how tenderhearted he is
toward Bandit
that he doesn't want to let her go. You *know* that (outside this
newsgroup & the circle
of "cat people" that's rare). But secondly, he's not being respectful
or kind toward you. You're the
primary caregiver and he should respect your decision. It's a
horrible, difficult decision and
he should be supporting you, not making it harder!
How about arranging a vet appointment as an "evaluation" of her health
and insist that
Ben go along. Clue the vet in beforehand. The doctor can explain to
Ben *exactly* what's going
on inside Bandit and how it makes her feel. What to expect her to go
through in the next few
weeks. Maybe he will listen to a professional and see things from a
different perspective.
Good luck. I am just so sorry you have to go through this.

Thanks Sherry, I think that is an excellent idea - if a doctor advises him
that it's time to let her go he may have an easier time believing that than
my "feeling" that it's time to let her go. I think I'll make him come with
me tomorrow and see the vet (though I hate to put her through that right
now - but I don't think they'll make a house call for anything but
euthanasia).

Hugs,

CatNipped

You know, I usually get up from the computer after reading postings
and go on with
my day and forget about them. Usually. But not this one. I know how
hard it is, Lori.
I know the hardest part is the time between the time that you've made
your decision,
and the time it is carried out. I know how your heart breaks in two
every time you look
at her. Please know we'll be thinking about you, whatever you decide.

Sherry

I think it's important, for your peace of mind, that he agrees 100%.

On Fri, 1 Jun 2007 10:28:20 -0400, CatNipped wrote:

"Sherry" wrote in message
ups.com...
How about arranging a vet appointment as an "evaluation" of her health
and insist that
Ben go along. Clue the vet in beforehand. The doctor can explain to
Ben *exactly* what's going
on inside Bandit and how it makes her feel. What to expect her to go
snip

Thanks Sherry, I think that is an excellent idea - if a doctor advises him
that it's time to let her go he may have an easier time believing that than
my "feeling" that it's time to let her go.

I second that idea.

--
Joey DoWop Dee
Remember: It is To Laugh

How about arranging a vet appointment as an "evaluation" of her health
and insist that
Ben go along. Clue the vet in beforehand.

I don't think Ben is being fair but I understand that he is doing it
because upset too. Still, the most important thing is that Bandit not
have to suffer and that has to be your priority. I think this idea
with the vet is the best one. THe vet will know if it is time --
Particularly if Bandit is too tired to take a piece out of the vet. I
won't say you "should" get it done on the spot but you could, if the
time was right (Bandit's reaction, what the vet says, etc)


Bright Blessings for Bandit and your family.

--Fil

"CatNipped" wrote in message
...
"Sherry" wrote in message
ups.com...
On Jun 1, 8:12 am, "CatNipped" wrote:
When I woke up this morning Bandit was not in bed with me, I found her
hiding behind the sofa in my sitting room and she wouldn't come out for
me
when I brought food. I had to pull the sofa out and pick her up. When
I
set her down in front of her food she only sniffed it and then walked
away
(I know lately she had been taking only a few bites of food lately and I
don't see her drinking any more - but today she wouldn't eat at all).
When
I held her face up to me I saw that her right eye was closed and her
left
barely open. I knew in my heart that it is time.

The problem is Ben. He insists that it isn't time. This morning he
opened
up a can of tuna to show me that she was still interested in food. She
took
some of the water from the bowl, but wouldn't eat any of the tuna.
While
she was licking the water Ben kept saying, "You see, she's eating".
When I
insisted it was time he snarled, "Well she's your cat so you do what you
want, but I don't think you should kill her just because she's old and
skinny!"

I know this is hard for him because it's around the time of year his dad
died - and he just doesn't deal with death at all well, he has a bit of
an
irrational fear of sickness and death. But I can't let my baby girl
suffer
for it. However, I know if I do this against his will he will bring
this up
to me in a nasty way now and every time he gets mad at me.

He said he's off this weekend and we could talk about it some more, but
1. I
don't want to wait and allow her to suffer, 2. I don't think the vet
will
make a house call on the weekend, and 3. I don't think he's going to
change
his mind overnight.

Any suggestions?

--
Hugs,

CatNipped

This story about made me cry. First, it shows how tenderhearted he is
toward Bandit
that he doesn't want to let her go. You *know* that (outside this
newsgroup & the circle
of "cat people" that's rare). But secondly, he's not being respectful
or kind toward you. You're the
primary caregiver and he should respect your decision. It's a
horrible, difficult decision and
he should be supporting you, not making it harder!
How about arranging a vet appointment as an "evaluation" of her health
and insist that
Ben go along. Clue the vet in beforehand. The doctor can explain to
Ben *exactly* what's going
on inside Bandit and how it makes her feel. What to expect her to go
through in the next few
weeks. Maybe he will listen to a professional and see things from a
different perspective.
Good luck. I am just so sorry you have to go through this.

Thanks Sherry, I think that is an excellent idea - if a doctor advises him
that it's time to let her go he may have an easier time believing that
than my "feeling" that it's time to let her go. I think I'll make him
come with me tomorrow and see the vet (though I hate to put her through
that right now - but I don't think they'll make a house call for anything
but euthanasia).

Hugs,

CatNipped

Sherry
about how Ben feels. She can tell Ben


Cat I agree completely with Sherry I am so sorry you are having to make the
decision.
I am sorry I can't say more but the tears are flowing. I wish I had a easy
option for you