saying goodbye

On Wed, 12 Jul 2006, fredsheck wrote:

my kitty, ebony, is 25 years old. no lie. he was my cat when i was in high
school. I graduated in 1983, and left for college. he was loved and cared
for (obviously well) my my parents for the next two decades. my mom passed
in 2001, and when my dad died last september, he became my cat again.

anyway, it is pretty clear that he is dying now. he's had "spells" of
extreme lethargy/weakness would become bedridden for a few days every few
months, but each time he would wake up as if from a nice long nap and say,
"where's my breakfast?" well, he's been real sick now since saturday. i
took him in to the vet on sat. afternoon. i was told what i basically
already knew--that he was super sick (maybe advanced thyroid or maybe kidney
disease), blood/urine tests and subcutaneas fluids were suggested sort of as
an aside, but that he might die in the next room or maybe not, but he
probably wouldn't bounce back this time. of couse i was advised to have him
euthenized. i was not prepared to make that decision right then, so i took
him home.

he has been peaceful, it seems, since then. He responds, minimally, to
petting and being spoken to. He has meowed quietly just a few times, but
not crying or moaning. he is peaceful still, but just a flicker of life
remains. i have to go to work again now. please please tell me that this
is ok. he is in his bed in his home. he is not eating or drinking. I
sense that he is dying, that he is peaceful and not suffering much, if any.
in another thread in this group, "toni" said:

. . .take her home, watch her, and look deeply into her eyes when you talk
to her. She will tell you when she is ready to go.

A calm humane death (at home IMO) is the last great gift you will ever be
able to give her . . .

this feels calm, and i hope it is humane. but it is really tearing me up. i
know others out there have been there. thanks for your thoughts and
prayers.

I think that you will know just what to do by the end of this poem:

IF IT SHOULD BE

If it should be that I grow frail and weak,
and pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then you must do what must be done,
For this last battle cannot be won.

You will be sad, I understand.
Don't let your grief then stay your hand.
For this day, more than the rest,
Your love and friendship stands the test.

We've had so many happy years,
What is to come can hold no fears.
Would you want me to suffer so?
When that time comes, please let me go.

Take me where my needs they'll tend,
But stay beside me to the end.
Hold me firm and speak to me,
Until my eyes no longer see.

I know in time you that you will see,
The kindness that you do for me.
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I've been saved.

Do not grieve -- it must be you,
Who must decide this thing to do.
We've been so close we two these years,
Remember joy amongst your tears.

Anonymous

On Thu, 13 Jul 2006, fredsheck wrote:


ebony died peacefully in the night. thanks for all who responded.

Awww, I'm so sorry. I sent my poem too late. But I am glad it was
peaceful and you were there. Cry it out. It's all you can do. Then go
on and love another little cat. ;'(

Eva

Hi Fred. Sorry I haven't been online; I was visiting my mother this
weekend and she does not have the internet.

You can find support groups both online and locally. There are many
out there as I have ran across them while searching the internet. Try
www.catchannel.com. You can find a place that supports chat rooms
which also offer privacy and start one of your own. Locally, you can
check with Petco, Petsmart, the humane society or other shelters to see
if they have a pet bereavement group or if they know of one.

I was fortunate to have my husband and friends as my support group when
Rocky passed away. Because they knew how I felt about my furry "son",
they all understood my loss. Even now, when I talk about him and start
crying, they understand. Anyone who loves animals and/or who has
compassion will always understand. Ignore the people who say "it was
just a cat" or "it was just a dog"; in fact, stay as far away from
folks like that as you can. They have no compassion whatsoever and
will never understand your grief.
Deeanna


fredsheck wrote:
"Deeanna" wrote

It would help you a great deal if you can find a support group to talk
to as well. There are many on the internet or, if you like, you could
start one. I'm sure many of us will be here for you when the time
comes. I know I will be.

well i guess that time has come. when you say support groups do you mean
like alt.support . . . ? (i haven't searched them).

Eva,
This is just beautiful. It brought tears to my eyes as i thought of
all my babies and their last days.
Deeanna


Eva Quesnell wrote:
On Wed, 12 Jul 2006, fredsheck wrote:

my kitty, ebony, is 25 years old. no lie. he was my cat when i was in high
school. I graduated in 1983, and left for college. he was loved and cared
for (obviously well) my my parents for the next two decades. my mom passed
in 2001, and when my dad died last september, he became my cat again.

anyway, it is pretty clear that he is dying now. he's had "spells" of
extreme lethargy/weakness would become bedridden for a few days every few
months, but each time he would wake up as if from a nice long nap and say,
"where's my breakfast?" well, he's been real sick now since saturday. i
took him in to the vet on sat. afternoon. i was told what i basically
already knew--that he was super sick (maybe advanced thyroid or maybe kidney
disease), blood/urine tests and subcutaneas fluids were suggested sort of as
an aside, but that he might die in the next room or maybe not, but he
probably wouldn't bounce back this time. of couse i was advised to have him
euthenized. i was not prepared to make that decision right then, so i took
him home.

he has been peaceful, it seems, since then. He responds, minimally, to
petting and being spoken to. He has meowed quietly just a few times, but
not crying or moaning. he is peaceful still, but just a flicker of life
remains. i have to go to work again now. please please tell me that this
is ok. he is in his bed in his home. he is not eating or drinking. I
sense that he is dying, that he is peaceful and not suffering much, if any.
in another thread in this group, "toni" said:

. . .take her home, watch her, and look deeply into her eyes when you talk
to her. She will tell you when she is ready to go.

A calm humane death (at home IMO) is the last great gift you will ever be
able to give her . . .

this feels calm, and i hope it is humane. but it is really tearing me up. i
know others out there have been there. thanks for your thoughts and
prayers.

I think that you will know just what to do by the end of this poem:

IF IT SHOULD BE

If it should be that I grow frail and weak,
and pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then you must do what must be done,
For this last battle cannot be won.

You will be sad, I understand.
Don't let your grief then stay your hand.
For this day, more than the rest,
Your love and friendship stands the test.

We've had so many happy years,
What is to come can hold no fears.
Would you want me to suffer so?
When that time comes, please let me go.

Take me where my needs they'll tend,
But stay beside me to the end.
Hold me firm and speak to me,
Until my eyes no longer see.

I know in time you that you will see,
The kindness that you do for me.
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I've been saved.

Do not grieve -- it must be you,
Who must decide this thing to do.
We've been so close we two these years,
Remember joy amongst your tears.

Anonymous