The Truth About Holly

Excuse me. There is NO shame in being kind. EVER.


Theresa
Stinky Pictures: http://community.webshots.com/album/125591586JWEFwh
My Blog: http://www.humanitas.blogspot.com

Monique Y. Mudama wrote:
On 2005-02-18, Christina Websell penned:

Hello, Pollyanna! It doesn't help.

Tweed

Well, I wasn't specifically talking to you, so you can't really say
whether it helps her or not.

That is extremely rude.
I thought you were talking to all members, me included. I think I need to
talk to you about how you sometimes respond to my posts. It often seems
hostile and provocative and I don't want that.

Tweed

Along with everyone else, I'm feeling very mixed. Let me give a couple
of points of personal reference. I sent my first email around 1970,
coincidentally in a hospital computer center. I've used news since
around 1986.

I also have a lot of medical background, but I know not to make too many
assumptions about a condition based on what someone self-reports in
email or news. When it's someone I know personally, I will ask quite a
few questions, and I've been told repeatedly that the recipient had no
idea where I was going -- except I then came up with a relevant
observation or recommendation.

When I first read the description of the condition, my initial reaction
was that it sounded like something with very little chance of survival.
Then, I thought about some specific recent advances in brain cancer
treatment, that have greatly improved the odds. People are now
symptom-free from things that would have been a prompt death sentence
3-5 years ago.

Certain of the details being reported didn't make sense, but I was
willing to say that was from the process of being passed along through
several people who don't have specific knowledge. What has been raising
my suspicions over the last few days is the speed of events. Brain
infections are, for reasons such as the blood-brain barrier, difficult
to treat. Along with bone infections, they are some of the slowest to
resolve. Patients are desperately ill. I found a discrepancy between
what was being described as the rate of progress, and what I have seen
in actual clinical situations.

Could I have asked some pointed questions earlier? Yes, but it didn't
feel right to do so -- nothing being described was flatly impossible,
but I was finding the combination increasingly implausible.
Nevertheless, it wasn't impossible, and I didn't feel it my place to
question what might be a miraculous recovery.

On 2005-02-19, Christina Websell penned:
Monique Y. Mudama wrote:
On 2005-02-18, Christina Websell penned:

Hello, Pollyanna! It doesn't help.

Tweed

Well, I wasn't specifically talking to you, so you can't really say whether
it helps her or not.

That is extremely rude. I thought you were talking to all members, me
included. I think I need to talk to you about how you sometimes respond to
my posts. It often seems hostile and provocative and I don't want that.

Tweed

I don't want that, either. I specifically quoted L's post and responded to
specific points in that post, but obviously we're in a newsgroup, so no post
can really be construed to be directed only at one individual.

I also feel that "Hello, Pollyanna! It doesn't help" sounds hostile. I was
trying, perhaps in a hamfisted way, to help. Sorry. I really have no desire
to add to the upset factor here. People's nerves are raw enough as is.

--
monique, who spoils Oscar unmercifully

pictures: http://www.bounceswoosh.org/rpca

Addendum! I should learn not to type fast. When I said "I would
rather extend support to someone who needs it than withhold it from
someone who does not" I REALLY meant "I would rather give sympathy to
someone who doesn't need it than to withhold it from someone who really
DOES (need it)."

Oy! Brain and fingers not working or playing well with others, today.

Melissa

Monique Y. Mudama wrote:
On 2005-02-18, Christina Websell penned:

Hello, Pollyanna! It doesn't help.

Tweed

Well, I wasn't specifically talking to you, so you can't really say
whether it
helps her or not.

Obviously people are upset, but if we get derailed by suspicion and
anger,
aren't we just further gratifying a personality whose only possible
goal was
to draw attention to themselves and to disrupt the group?

Yes, you are right, but feelings are feelings and I think far too many
people don't allow themselves to feel emotion (in general). Everyone
has the right to be PO'd, hurt, angry, whatever. I see it as a
learning experience for myself - good and bad. If a similar situation
arose again would I still take the same action and feel the same
connection, possibly? You betcha.

Let's just hope Holly gets the help she needs. This incident shows how
loving and kind strangers can be, as well as how messed up (for lack of
a better word) people can be. Yin and yang. In the end, we can be
proud that we reached out to a stranger in need. This world needs more
people like us. :*)

hugs to all,
-L.

Christina Websell wrote:
snip

Changing the subject. I have had a serious eye problem myself, and I
was
also supposed to be too young to get it, like yourself, Lynn. If
you'd like
to compare notes with me feel free to email me privately or on group
if we
all want to know ;-). We are here in this world to help each other.
We
genuine people that is.

Tweed
(still not wanting to believe Holly was a fake)

Thanks. I'll email you privately whenI have a little more time.

-L.

On Fri 18 Feb 2005 06:02:10p, Christina Websell wrote in
rec.pets.cats.anecdotes ):

Look, Lori. It is so not your fault, and please don't weep
about it. We were all taken in, and you were kind enough to
post updates. I can't tell you how to tell the genuine posts
from the not, I haven't figured that out myself, although I've
never experienced such an elaborate what? can't think of a
word -

SE. Social Engineering. It happens a lot on Usenet. Never seen such
a brilliant example of it, especially not in this context.

myself. So please don't beat your breast about it, you
did good. Judging by the facts you had, you did exactly the
right thing. It is *not* your fault, okay?

No it isn't. SEs are hard to detect, and kudos to those who expose
them. The SE'r often messes up and Holly did big time. I still
can't believe that she'd involve her place of work, though.


--
Cheryl

On 2005-02-19, L. (usenetlyn) penned:

Yes, you are right, but feelings are feelings and I think far too many
people don't allow themselves to feel emotion (in general). Everyone has
the right to be PO'd, hurt, angry, whatever.

That's a good point. I just hope it doesn't lead to the community as a whole
getting suspicious of one another or firing shots at one another because
everyone's tense and upset.

--
monique, who spoils Oscar unmercifully

pictures: http://www.bounceswoosh.org/rpca

in article , Monique Y. Mudama at
wrote on 2/18/05 7:23 PM:

On 2005-02-19, L. (usenetlyn) penned:

Yes, you are right, but feelings are feelings and I think far too many
people don't allow themselves to feel emotion (in general). Everyone has
the right to be PO'd, hurt, angry, whatever.

That's a good point. I just hope it doesn't lead to the community as a whole
getting suspicious of one another or firing shots at one another because
everyone's tense and upset.

Oh, I don't see that happening at all. Most of us have known each other for
far too long for that.