Help: Terrible nightmares about my beloved RB cat!

Ginger-lyn Summer wrote:

There is a possible way to get rid of this particular dream if
it is coming too often. I had to do it after a car accident that
reliving it was taking over my life. I went to a therapist who
used a process similar to hypnosis to redirect my train of thought
when ever the accident would intrude.

EMDR?

That's what I thought, too. I tried that a couple of times - did nothing
for me. But I'm thinking that maybe the person I did it with didn't know
what she was doing. Sometime I'd like to try it again.

I actually don't mind having nightmares. I mean, if I had horrible ones
night after night, causing me to lose sleep and develop anxiety and stress,
that would certainly be a problem. But if I occasionally have an intense
bad dream, I actually find it fascinating rather than upsetting. Such
dreams tell me a lot about myself.

I have a lot of recurring dreams, too - sort of "theme dreams" that I
get sometimes 2 or 3 times a month over a period of many months or even
a few years. When that happens, the dream usually progresses over time,
with certain things happening slightly differently each time, often
moving toward some kind of resolution. I think it's an interesting
process. Well, interesting to me, anyway. I have discovered that nobody
else is as fascinated by my dreams as I am.

Joyce

Ginger-lyn Summer wrote:

There is a possible way to get rid of this particular dream if
it is coming too often. I had to do it after a car accident that
reliving it was taking over my life. I went to a therapist who
used a process similar to hypnosis to redirect my train of thought
when ever the accident would intrude.

EMDR?

That's what I thought, too. I tried that a couple of times - did nothing
for me. But I'm thinking that maybe the person I did it with didn't know
what she was doing. Sometime I'd like to try it again.

I actually don't mind having nightmares. I mean, if I had horrible ones
night after night, causing me to lose sleep and develop anxiety and stress,
that would certainly be a problem. But if I occasionally have an intense
bad dream, I actually find it fascinating rather than upsetting. Such
dreams tell me a lot about myself.

I have a lot of recurring dreams, too - sort of "theme dreams" that I
get sometimes 2 or 3 times a month over a period of many months or even
a few years. When that happens, the dream usually progresses over time,
with certain things happening slightly differently each time, often
moving toward some kind of resolution. I think it's an interesting
process. Well, interesting to me, anyway. I have discovered that nobody
else is as fascinated by my dreams as I am.

Joyce

in article , Ginger-lyn Summer at
wrote on 9/7/04 12:37 PM:

On 7 Sep 2004 02:13:17 -0700, (Singer709) wrote:

I need some advice about a recurring nightmare involving my beloved
Vanilla, now at Rainbow Bridge. So you'll understand, I have extremely
vivid dreams that are highly realistic and strong. Therefore when I
have nightmares, they are doozeys.

My lovely Vanilla and I were together 18 years and she died in my
arms, of a heart attack, about 5 years ago. She has a special place in
my heart, even though I now enjoy the company of a wonderful big
orange fuzzball, "RJ".

In my recurring dreams (and I have them about twice a month), I'm back
in my childhood home of nearly 50 years ago. And in the dream, I
suddenly realize, much to my horror, that I've somehow "forgotten"
Vanilla all this time and had callously abandoned her, without a
second thought, leaving her alone, unloved, and maybe even unfed!
upstairs in my folk's house, without any way of her to get love and
petting from me, let alone food or water.

In real life, of course, we were constant companions and never had ill
times, and naturally I'd left my childhood home a good 30 years before
I even rescued Vanilla as a kitten. And of course, I was never hurtful
or thougtless to her, ever.

Nevertheless, these dreams are completely vivid and intense. And I'm
at the old home, and I suddenly realize that I've "forgotten" Vanilla
and have left her to starve to death!

So I run upstairs, calling for her over and over again. The emotion is
immense and the terror is crushing. In my dream I'm crying and sobbing
in anguish at what I've somehow done.

Many times I cannot find her. Sometimes I find her and she'd dead! Or
sometimes she's very weak and ill (having been neglected by me all
this time), and is dying.

I can only tell you that the dream is a terrible nightmare, and when I
finally awaken, I'm shaking with emotion for a long time afterward.

Do any of you have similar "abandonment of loved pet" dreams? Can you
tell me why I might be having these awful nightmares?

Thanks.

I'm sorry this is happening, and I think Norm had some very good
advice/comments.

I have had some nightmares about RB cats, but they usually only
occurred once after their crossing. I figured it was all those messy
feelings of grief coming out (guilt, fear, pain, loss). Perhaps you
have never fully resolved the grief? If so, if you can find a way to
fully resolve it, the nightmares should stop.

At any rate, here's hoping they do stop, and you return to happy
dreams.

Ginger-lyn


Maybe a tribute page on petloss.com?

in article , Ginger-lyn Summer at
wrote on 9/7/04 12:37 PM:

On 7 Sep 2004 02:13:17 -0700, (Singer709) wrote:

I need some advice about a recurring nightmare involving my beloved
Vanilla, now at Rainbow Bridge. So you'll understand, I have extremely
vivid dreams that are highly realistic and strong. Therefore when I
have nightmares, they are doozeys.

My lovely Vanilla and I were together 18 years and she died in my
arms, of a heart attack, about 5 years ago. She has a special place in
my heart, even though I now enjoy the company of a wonderful big
orange fuzzball, "RJ".

In my recurring dreams (and I have them about twice a month), I'm back
in my childhood home of nearly 50 years ago. And in the dream, I
suddenly realize, much to my horror, that I've somehow "forgotten"
Vanilla all this time and had callously abandoned her, without a
second thought, leaving her alone, unloved, and maybe even unfed!
upstairs in my folk's house, without any way of her to get love and
petting from me, let alone food or water.

In real life, of course, we were constant companions and never had ill
times, and naturally I'd left my childhood home a good 30 years before
I even rescued Vanilla as a kitten. And of course, I was never hurtful
or thougtless to her, ever.

Nevertheless, these dreams are completely vivid and intense. And I'm
at the old home, and I suddenly realize that I've "forgotten" Vanilla
and have left her to starve to death!

So I run upstairs, calling for her over and over again. The emotion is
immense and the terror is crushing. In my dream I'm crying and sobbing
in anguish at what I've somehow done.

Many times I cannot find her. Sometimes I find her and she'd dead! Or
sometimes she's very weak and ill (having been neglected by me all
this time), and is dying.

I can only tell you that the dream is a terrible nightmare, and when I
finally awaken, I'm shaking with emotion for a long time afterward.

Do any of you have similar "abandonment of loved pet" dreams? Can you
tell me why I might be having these awful nightmares?

Thanks.

I'm sorry this is happening, and I think Norm had some very good
advice/comments.

I have had some nightmares about RB cats, but they usually only
occurred once after their crossing. I figured it was all those messy
feelings of grief coming out (guilt, fear, pain, loss). Perhaps you
have never fully resolved the grief? If so, if you can find a way to
fully resolve it, the nightmares should stop.

At any rate, here's hoping they do stop, and you return to happy
dreams.

Ginger-lyn


Maybe a tribute page on petloss.com?

in article , Ginger-lyn Summer at
wrote on 9/7/04 12:37 PM:

On 7 Sep 2004 02:13:17 -0700, (Singer709) wrote:

I need some advice about a recurring nightmare involving my beloved
Vanilla, now at Rainbow Bridge. So you'll understand, I have extremely
vivid dreams that are highly realistic and strong. Therefore when I
have nightmares, they are doozeys.

My lovely Vanilla and I were together 18 years and she died in my
arms, of a heart attack, about 5 years ago. She has a special place in
my heart, even though I now enjoy the company of a wonderful big
orange fuzzball, "RJ".

In my recurring dreams (and I have them about twice a month), I'm back
in my childhood home of nearly 50 years ago. And in the dream, I
suddenly realize, much to my horror, that I've somehow "forgotten"
Vanilla all this time and had callously abandoned her, without a
second thought, leaving her alone, unloved, and maybe even unfed!
upstairs in my folk's house, without any way of her to get love and
petting from me, let alone food or water.

In real life, of course, we were constant companions and never had ill
times, and naturally I'd left my childhood home a good 30 years before
I even rescued Vanilla as a kitten. And of course, I was never hurtful
or thougtless to her, ever.

Nevertheless, these dreams are completely vivid and intense. And I'm
at the old home, and I suddenly realize that I've "forgotten" Vanilla
and have left her to starve to death!

So I run upstairs, calling for her over and over again. The emotion is
immense and the terror is crushing. In my dream I'm crying and sobbing
in anguish at what I've somehow done.

Many times I cannot find her. Sometimes I find her and she'd dead! Or
sometimes she's very weak and ill (having been neglected by me all
this time), and is dying.

I can only tell you that the dream is a terrible nightmare, and when I
finally awaken, I'm shaking with emotion for a long time afterward.

Do any of you have similar "abandonment of loved pet" dreams? Can you
tell me why I might be having these awful nightmares?

Thanks.

I'm sorry this is happening, and I think Norm had some very good
advice/comments.

I have had some nightmares about RB cats, but they usually only
occurred once after their crossing. I figured it was all those messy
feelings of grief coming out (guilt, fear, pain, loss). Perhaps you
have never fully resolved the grief? If so, if you can find a way to
fully resolve it, the nightmares should stop.

At any rate, here's hoping they do stop, and you return to happy
dreams.

Ginger-lyn


Maybe a tribute page on petloss.com?

Singh wrote:

My nightmares were either about going to my father's house to retrieve him
before something happened; for, as do many abusers, he held the cat over
me and threatened to harm him to have his way with me, though the reality
was my father liked him.

Are you saying you had nightmares about your father threatening to harm
him, or that he really DID threaten to harm him (causing you to have the
nightmares about it later)? Oh, I hope it wasn't the former! The idea
of someone harming an innocent animal in order to cause pain to a person
who loves that animal is just unbearable to me.

Of course, from your story, it's clear he also harmed innocent humans,
so it's not hard to believe he might hurt an animal as well. I'm glad you
were able to keep Fritzie out of harm until he passed on.

Joyce

Singh wrote:

My nightmares were either about going to my father's house to retrieve him
before something happened; for, as do many abusers, he held the cat over
me and threatened to harm him to have his way with me, though the reality
was my father liked him.

Are you saying you had nightmares about your father threatening to harm
him, or that he really DID threaten to harm him (causing you to have the
nightmares about it later)? Oh, I hope it wasn't the former! The idea
of someone harming an innocent animal in order to cause pain to a person
who loves that animal is just unbearable to me.

Of course, from your story, it's clear he also harmed innocent humans,
so it's not hard to believe he might hurt an animal as well. I'm glad you
were able to keep Fritzie out of harm until he passed on.

Joyce

Singh wrote:

My nightmares were either about going to my father's house to retrieve him
before something happened; for, as do many abusers, he held the cat over
me and threatened to harm him to have his way with me, though the reality
was my father liked him.

Are you saying you had nightmares about your father threatening to harm
him, or that he really DID threaten to harm him (causing you to have the
nightmares about it later)? Oh, I hope it wasn't the former! The idea
of someone harming an innocent animal in order to cause pain to a person
who loves that animal is just unbearable to me.

Of course, from your story, it's clear he also harmed innocent humans,
so it's not hard to believe he might hurt an animal as well. I'm glad you
were able to keep Fritzie out of harm until he passed on.

Joyce

I've had variations of this, and they're all horrific. They all involved
my Fritzie, who has now crossed over himself, and usually were about him
getting out of the house and disappearing, or having some horrible death
through my neglect.

During those years I was alone with Fritzie as my constant companion. Even
my boyfriend rarely stopped by. My family had disowned me because I had
threatened to take my father and brother's abuse public by calling first
the sherriffs, then the news. I had gone from a comfortable suburban life
to being dirt-poor and doing cheap telemarketing jobs or home-health care,
sometimes both at once. Some weeks I went without to make sure Fritzie was
cared for.

My nightmares were either about going to my father's house to retrieve him
before something happened; for, as do many abusers, he held the cat over
me and threatened to harm him to have his way with me, though the reality
was my father liked him. Or else it was of simply losing him through an
unlocked door or open window. I'd search like hell, most of the time find
him. I always woke up shaking and sweating.

I came to realize it meant to me that I had issues of loss to deal with:
losing the family, losing any sense of love either from others or simply
for myself, and losing self-respect. That helped, though the nightmares
did not stop until Fritzie had crossed over, because we knew he'd gone to
where he'd be eternally cared for until we meet again.

Blessed be,

Baha

Singer709 wrote:

I need some advice about a recurring nightmare involving my beloved
Vanilla, now at Rainbow Bridge. So you'll understand, I have extremely
vivid dreams that are highly realistic and strong. Therefore when I
have nightmares, they are doozeys.

My lovely Vanilla and I were together 18 years and she died in my
arms, of a heart attack, about 5 years ago. She has a special place in
my heart, even though I now enjoy the company of a wonderful big
orange fuzzball, "RJ".

In my recurring dreams (and I have them about twice a month), I'm back
in my childhood home of nearly 50 years ago. And in the dream, I
suddenly realize, much to my horror, that I've somehow "forgotten"
Vanilla all this time and had callously abandoned her, without a
second thought, leaving her alone, unloved, and maybe even unfed!
upstairs in my folk's house, without any way of her to get love and
petting from me, let alone food or water.

In real life, of course, we were constant companions and never had ill
times, and naturally I'd left my childhood home a good 30 years before
I even rescued Vanilla as a kitten. And of course, I was never hurtful
or thougtless to her, ever.

Nevertheless, these dreams are completely vivid and intense. And I'm
at the old home, and I suddenly realize that I've "forgotten" Vanilla
and have left her to starve to death!

So I run upstairs, calling for her over and over again. The emotion is
immense and the terror is crushing. In my dream I'm crying and sobbing
in anguish at what I've somehow done.

Many times I cannot find her. Sometimes I find her and she'd dead! Or
sometimes she's very weak and ill (having been neglected by me all
this time), and is dying.

I can only tell you that the dream is a terrible nightmare, and when I
finally awaken, I'm shaking with emotion for a long time afterward.

Do any of you have similar "abandonment of loved pet" dreams? Can you
tell me why I might be having these awful nightmares?

Thanks.

I've had variations of this, and they're all horrific. They all involved
my Fritzie, who has now crossed over himself, and usually were about him
getting out of the house and disappearing, or having some horrible death
through my neglect.

During those years I was alone with Fritzie as my constant companion. Even
my boyfriend rarely stopped by. My family had disowned me because I had
threatened to take my father and brother's abuse public by calling first
the sherriffs, then the news. I had gone from a comfortable suburban life
to being dirt-poor and doing cheap telemarketing jobs or home-health care,
sometimes both at once. Some weeks I went without to make sure Fritzie was
cared for.

My nightmares were either about going to my father's house to retrieve him
before something happened; for, as do many abusers, he held the cat over
me and threatened to harm him to have his way with me, though the reality
was my father liked him. Or else it was of simply losing him through an
unlocked door or open window. I'd search like hell, most of the time find
him. I always woke up shaking and sweating.

I came to realize it meant to me that I had issues of loss to deal with:
losing the family, losing any sense of love either from others or simply
for myself, and losing self-respect. That helped, though the nightmares
did not stop until Fritzie had crossed over, because we knew he'd gone to
where he'd be eternally cared for until we meet again.

Blessed be,

Baha

Singer709 wrote:

I need some advice about a recurring nightmare involving my beloved
Vanilla, now at Rainbow Bridge. So you'll understand, I have extremely
vivid dreams that are highly realistic and strong. Therefore when I
have nightmares, they are doozeys.

My lovely Vanilla and I were together 18 years and she died in my
arms, of a heart attack, about 5 years ago. She has a special place in
my heart, even though I now enjoy the company of a wonderful big
orange fuzzball, "RJ".

In my recurring dreams (and I have them about twice a month), I'm back
in my childhood home of nearly 50 years ago. And in the dream, I
suddenly realize, much to my horror, that I've somehow "forgotten"
Vanilla all this time and had callously abandoned her, without a
second thought, leaving her alone, unloved, and maybe even unfed!
upstairs in my folk's house, without any way of her to get love and
petting from me, let alone food or water.

In real life, of course, we were constant companions and never had ill
times, and naturally I'd left my childhood home a good 30 years before
I even rescued Vanilla as a kitten. And of course, I was never hurtful
or thougtless to her, ever.

Nevertheless, these dreams are completely vivid and intense. And I'm
at the old home, and I suddenly realize that I've "forgotten" Vanilla
and have left her to starve to death!

So I run upstairs, calling for her over and over again. The emotion is
immense and the terror is crushing. In my dream I'm crying and sobbing
in anguish at what I've somehow done.

Many times I cannot find her. Sometimes I find her and she'd dead! Or
sometimes she's very weak and ill (having been neglected by me all
this time), and is dying.

I can only tell you that the dream is a terrible nightmare, and when I
finally awaken, I'm shaking with emotion for a long time afterward.

Do any of you have similar "abandonment of loved pet" dreams? Can you
tell me why I might be having these awful nightmares?

Thanks.