Doomed cat ventures

Many people seek new occupations and money-making schemes This set me
on a bizarre train of thought: - cat-related ventures which are doomed
to failure from the start by the very nature of the little darlings.
I've thought of a few, and perhaps you can dream up others.

CAT OBEDIENCE SCHOOL - This is not to teach people to follow the
wishes of their kitties, but the reverse. The most obvious pitfall is
that cats will listen to what you tell them to do - and then ignore it
or do the opposite.

CAT SLEDDING - It's simple, the Inuit have been doing it for
centuries, but with dogs. Why not cats? Because they're cats, that's
why. Try to make them go in a single direction, let alone the one you
have in mind!

CAT RESCUE TEAMS - Dogs are also trained to hunt for skiers lost or
trapped by avalanches. How about using cats? One of my favourite
cartoons is titled "If Lassie were a cat" gives us a clue. In it Timmy
calls from the bottom of a well, "Lassie, go get help. I'm trapped
here!" Lassie the cat looks down the well and replies, "Where's my
food?"

WATCH CATS - A burglar breaks into your house at 3:00 am. Your
ever-alert cat wakes and streaks towards the felon - right past him,
and down to the basement litter pan to answer an urgent call of
nature. The burglar goes about his business while you continue
sleeping upstairs.

Care to add any kitty-related ventures doomed to fail?

Bobcat wrote:
Many people seek new occupations and money-making schemes This set me
on a bizarre train of thought: - cat-related ventures which are doomed
to failure from the start by the very nature of the little darlings.
I've thought of a few, and perhaps you can dream up others.

CAT OBEDIENCE SCHOOL - This is not to teach people to follow the
wishes of their kitties, but the reverse. The most obvious pitfall is
that cats will listen to what you tell them to do - and then ignore it
or do the opposite.

CAT SLEDDING - It's simple, the Inuit have been doing it for
centuries, but with dogs. Why not cats? Because they're cats, that's
why. Try to make them go in a single direction, let alone the one you
have in mind!

CAT RESCUE TEAMS - Dogs are also trained to hunt for skiers lost or
trapped by avalanches. How about using cats? One of my favourite
cartoons is titled "If Lassie were a cat" gives us a clue. In it Timmy
calls from the bottom of a well, "Lassie, go get help. I'm trapped
here!" Lassie the cat looks down the well and replies, "Where's my
food?"

WATCH CATS - A burglar breaks into your house at 3:00 am. Your
ever-alert cat wakes and streaks towards the felon - right past him,
and down to the basement litter pan to answer an urgent call of
nature. The burglar goes about his business while you continue
sleeping upstairs.

Care to add any kitty-related ventures doomed to fail?



How about cat guide for the blind. It will fail because cats will never
go where you tell them to. Their blind person will say "forward" and
just to be contrary the cat will go backwards. Plus it is hard on the
blind person when they have to stop every 5 minutes so their cat can groom.

--
Margaret Fine

Bobcat wrote:
Many people seek new occupations and money-making schemes This set me
on a bizarre train of thought: - cat-related ventures which are doomed
to failure from the start by the very nature of the little darlings.
I've thought of a few, and perhaps you can dream up others.

CAT OBEDIENCE SCHOOL - This is not to teach people to follow the
wishes of their kitties, but the reverse. The most obvious pitfall is
that cats will listen to what you tell them to do - and then ignore it
or do the opposite.

CAT SLEDDING - It's simple, the Inuit have been doing it for
centuries, but with dogs. Why not cats? Because they're cats, that's
why. Try to make them go in a single direction, let alone the one you
have in mind!

CAT RESCUE TEAMS - Dogs are also trained to hunt for skiers lost or
trapped by avalanches. How about using cats? One of my favourite
cartoons is titled "If Lassie were a cat" gives us a clue. In it Timmy
calls from the bottom of a well, "Lassie, go get help. I'm trapped
here!" Lassie the cat looks down the well and replies, "Where's my
food?"

WATCH CATS - A burglar breaks into your house at 3:00 am. Your
ever-alert cat wakes and streaks towards the felon - right past him,
and down to the basement litter pan to answer an urgent call of
nature. The burglar goes about his business while you continue
sleeping upstairs.

Care to add any kitty-related ventures doomed to fail?



How about cat guide for the blind. It will fail because cats will never
go where you tell them to. Their blind person will say "forward" and
just to be contrary the cat will go backwards. Plus it is hard on the
blind person when they have to stop every 5 minutes so their cat can groom.

--
Margaret Fine

Bobcat wrote:
Many people seek new occupations and money-making schemes This set me
on a bizarre train of thought: - cat-related ventures which are doomed
to failure from the start by the very nature of the little darlings.
I've thought of a few, and perhaps you can dream up others.

CAT OBEDIENCE SCHOOL - This is not to teach people to follow the
wishes of their kitties, but the reverse. The most obvious pitfall is
that cats will listen to what you tell them to do - and then ignore it
or do the opposite.

CAT SLEDDING - It's simple, the Inuit have been doing it for
centuries, but with dogs. Why not cats? Because they're cats, that's
why. Try to make them go in a single direction, let alone the one you
have in mind!

CAT RESCUE TEAMS - Dogs are also trained to hunt for skiers lost or
trapped by avalanches. How about using cats? One of my favourite
cartoons is titled "If Lassie were a cat" gives us a clue. In it Timmy
calls from the bottom of a well, "Lassie, go get help. I'm trapped
here!" Lassie the cat looks down the well and replies, "Where's my
food?"

WATCH CATS - A burglar breaks into your house at 3:00 am. Your
ever-alert cat wakes and streaks towards the felon - right past him,
and down to the basement litter pan to answer an urgent call of
nature. The burglar goes about his business while you continue
sleeping upstairs.

Care to add any kitty-related ventures doomed to fail?



How about cat guide for the blind. It will fail because cats will never
go where you tell them to. Their blind person will say "forward" and
just to be contrary the cat will go backwards. Plus it is hard on the
blind person when they have to stop every 5 minutes so their cat can groom.

--
Margaret Fine

Care to add any kitty-related ventures doomed to fail?

CAT SMALL PET SITTING - The cats would watch peoples small pets while they're
away on vacation, especially hamsters, fish and birds. Of course the visitors
would check in but not check out.

BIRD CATS - There are bird dogs and now bird cats. You take them hunting with
you and when you shoot a bird and it falls, the cat will go to retrieve it, but
instead just sit there and dine. "What? You didn't get this for me?"

Care to add any kitty-related ventures doomed to fail?

CAT SMALL PET SITTING - The cats would watch peoples small pets while they're
away on vacation, especially hamsters, fish and birds. Of course the visitors
would check in but not check out.

BIRD CATS - There are bird dogs and now bird cats. You take them hunting with
you and when you shoot a bird and it falls, the cat will go to retrieve it, but
instead just sit there and dine. "What? You didn't get this for me?"

Care to add any kitty-related ventures doomed to fail?

CAT SMALL PET SITTING - The cats would watch peoples small pets while they're
away on vacation, especially hamsters, fish and birds. Of course the visitors
would check in but not check out.

BIRD CATS - There are bird dogs and now bird cats. You take them hunting with
you and when you shoot a bird and it falls, the cat will go to retrieve it, but
instead just sit there and dine. "What? You didn't get this for me?"

"Mary" wrote in message
...
Care to add any kitty-related ventures doomed to fail?

CAT SMALL PET SITTING - The cats would watch peoples small pets
while they're
away on vacation, especially hamsters, fish and birds. Of course the
visitors
would check in but not check out.

BIRD CATS - There are bird dogs and now bird cats. You take them
hunting with
you and when you shoot a bird and it falls, the cat will go to
retrieve it, but
instead just sit there and dine. "What? You didn't get this for me?"

Oh, I love those! I think we're onto something here. Keep 'em coming!
Bobcat

"Mary" wrote in message
...
Care to add any kitty-related ventures doomed to fail?

CAT SMALL PET SITTING - The cats would watch peoples small pets
while they're
away on vacation, especially hamsters, fish and birds. Of course the
visitors
would check in but not check out.

BIRD CATS - There are bird dogs and now bird cats. You take them
hunting with
you and when you shoot a bird and it falls, the cat will go to
retrieve it, but
instead just sit there and dine. "What? You didn't get this for me?"

Oh, I love those! I think we're onto something here. Keep 'em coming!
Bobcat

"Mary" wrote in message
...
Care to add any kitty-related ventures doomed to fail?

CAT SMALL PET SITTING - The cats would watch peoples small pets
while they're
away on vacation, especially hamsters, fish and birds. Of course the
visitors
would check in but not check out.

BIRD CATS - There are bird dogs and now bird cats. You take them
hunting with
you and when you shoot a bird and it falls, the cat will go to
retrieve it, but
instead just sit there and dine. "What? You didn't get this for me?"

Oh, I love those! I think we're onto something here. Keep 'em coming!
Bobcat